Independence day!

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JUly 4th – town square – parade – cold sodas, burgers and funnel cakes… We’re on the square, chairs set up early, the meeting spot for my wife’s Tennis group was always in front of Carol’s barbershop. The 4th fell on a Saturday this year, and Carol’s shop was open for business until noon. We arrived early and I sat our chairs up ready for the parade. I instructed Sharon to get a quick trim at Carol’s before the festivities began.

As her city tennis group gathered for the parade, Jan noticed Sharon in the chair of the shop. Carol’s barber shop was tiny (1 chair), and it was positioned practically in the window. Jan, along with Gail and Kathy stepped in and greeted Sharon.”Hey girl” do you guys want to meet later for a drink at Jose’s (Mexican)”? Jan stated, as all 3 gathered in the shop. Naturally, since it was approaching 90 degrees outside and it was only 8am. Lisa, Connie and Sheri filed in trying to beat the heat, and were all welcomed by Carol. “I’ll get her cleaned up – looks like you guys have plans for the day” Carol stated as she turned the chair toward the group. “The city tennis website sent out an email this morning and it didn’t make sense” Sheri said, as she read the email from her phone. As Sheri started to read, Carol pumped the chair high and placed her palm on Sharon’s crown. “Chin to chest, hun” and with a firm press ran the loud clippers up Sharon’s neck – pass after pass. “A dead silence fell in the shop as the entire team peered over to see Sharon getting scalped, with the beginnings of a super high-n-tight cut. “I know that has to be so much cooler than this mop” as Gail flipped her long ponytail and tucked under her hat.

“The parade’s starting, I’m grabbing a seat and a mimosa,” Connie stated as she and a few others filed out of the tiny shop. Gail, whom had a kind of love-hate relationship with Sharon ( Sharon beat her for the #1 seed on the team) sat quietly in a chair and said, “I’m gonna stay here for a second, it’s super freaking hot out there.” She sat right in front of the chair , twisting and flipping her long ponytail, as if to tease Sharon and mock her inevitable, super short flattop.

“I’ll bet that feels great on a hot day like this”, Gail stated, as she peered over for a response. “I’m taking her a blade or two shorter, just for that reason” Carol stated, as she continued to change guards, and clippers, reducing Sharon’s hair down to nothing. Super short (bald) on the nape and sides, and the #1 flattop was to perfection. And after a quick buzzing with the electric razor, and a straight razor shave, Sharon was left with a super short #00000 on the back and sides – with a .05 on the top. The landing strip so tight, it could have been used to land a fleet of planes!

As Carol wrapped up the cut, I could only think of the backlash once we got home. You see, Sharon fucking hates her “Flattop and always screams, bitches and threatens to leave our relationship if I continued to demand the shorter cuts. As always, I just shrugged it off and told her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. A great girl Sharon was, but after 5 marriages, 3 kids, and a ton of debt, her options were limited. Not that I was an abuser or tyrant by any means, she came and went as she pleased. We had agreed to an “open relationship” and years earlier, we both agreed that was the deal for now.

We left the shop, walked to our chairs and continued with the days activities. Great day, dinner, fireworks at the community, and ending with a bottle of wine at the house. Sharon, all set with her fresh, clippered flattop, had by then, ran through 3 bottles of $200 wine. “Gail seemed like such a bitch this morning, don’t you think? After you walked out of the barber shop, she mentioned emails and how I was handling the schedule for the team”

Gail and I had been in a relationship for months, and much to Sharon’s dismay, the tension had nothing to do with Tennis. ” Didn’t notice that” as I walked out of the room. “She does have great hair though, don’t you think”? That always got a rise out of Sharon, and with that, she kind of went basically bat shit crazy and told me if I liked her hair so much, I should just go fuck her… I told her I already was fucking her and that if you didn’t have a bald ass head, you may see some action as well.

“You’ll never leave me you fucking asshole, I know your weakness, so sitting at a barbershop every week doesn’t bother me at all. Just keep paying the bills, and just maybe, I’ll keep your fetish in check…



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