Ann’s Salon visits…

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Ann has been visiting the same super high end salon on the west side for several years. Her appointments are monthly without fail, often with a bi-weekly clean up if her stylist “Benjamin” can fit her in. My wife sports a super short, above the ear pixie, longer bangs if you will. She prefers a longer style, but she knows my affection for the shorter cut. WE both know one things for certain – she gets tons of compliments wherever we go – it’s an everyday occurrence and it makes her feel great when others comment on her haircut.

She does at times feel somewhat intimidated in the salon, with the clientele, the high class lady’s and younger patrons, all with their longer styles. The salon has all types of services and caters to the higher end client for sure. Haircuts start at $100 for god’s sake! At times I accompany her to the salon, the conversation with ole’ Ben is rather amusing. I think the one think that has given Ann pause lately is where Ben’s station is now positioned in the shop. His once hidden spot now resides right in the front of the salon, a mere 5 feet from the receptionist counter, as he is the salon’s top stylist.

After a few bottles of wine one evening, I asked Ann what time her appointment was the next morning. Here was her response:

10 am – it’s my standing time every visit -whether it’s my monthly, or if he fits me in for a clean-up between cuts. The problem with Ben is that his station is right up front, and he insist on speaking with everyone as they enter/leave the salon – he’s a damn social butterfly! He says he treats me as one of his unpaid models, as I am one of the shortest clients he has (shortest haircut that is). Sometimes I think he puts on a show when I’m in the chair, always looking for a comment from the incoming clients. Every cut starts with same skit…

“Hi young lady, lets get rid of some hair” and with that, it’s always a turn of the chair, with my back facing the reception area, where he begins each cut the exact same.

“Up straight, head down… and with that, starts 5-10 minutes of what he calls the foundation for his cut. Many times as my back is facing the lobby, I’ll hear the chatter and conversation that Ben obviously loves – ‘Cute cut Ben, your’e taking her real short, or the “I wish I had the nerve to go boy short” I’ve heard them all. And with all the hot women walking around, with their 20-40 year old bodies and all I swear with amazing, long thick styles… Unfortunately, my hair is somewhat on the thin side, so the shorter style does give it volume – but at the expense of me looking like a “boy.”

The only thing if I had to say I don’t like is right when I leave his chair. It’s so short on my neck that I feel scalped and naked. I feel like guys think it’s an ugly cut, and the ladies are just being nice with their compliments. I think my nape area looks much better after it’s grown a week or so, but he seems to think the growth bothers me. And stopping in every other week for a “complementary nape trim” allows it to only get to that stubble feel and and by then, I’m back in the chair, back to buzzed. I don’t think my hair has been longer than a # 2 on my neck in 5 years or so.

He’s said in the past that he always asks his wife to go short,but she never does, even showing her my cut many times. His wife, Callie has long beautiful hair, but I believe he’s a damn short hair nut like you! It’s like the salon is really quiet – stylist’s doing their work and then it starts. I honestly believe Ben waits until there are no blow dryers running and it’s almost at dead silence, when he starts with the clippers. Now he uses what sounds like a damn hedge clipper or as he calls it, the chopper, (helicopter reference I suppose) a big loud clipper he said he bought just for my cuts! One day while he had my head shoved into my chest, he commented “I love these new shears, they really provide a smooth, powerful cut with one pass. They do kinda of sound like a helicopter” he said laughing. And when I agreed with him he again smiled and said he is more than willing to let them take off on my head! What a weird thing to say…

It’s always a few passes up my nape with the clippers, a few words with an incoming client, followed by another round of buzzing. Many times he will clipper my neck, complete the rest of the cut, start with the clippers again, dry my hair, clippers etc… As a matter of fact, last Saturday he did my cut and I removed my smock and as I walked over to pay, he chimed in – thanked me as usual, and the next thing I know, I’m being led back to his chair.

“That looks a little uneven, and he went through a 5 minute re-buzz on my nape. Shit, there couldn’t have been any hair left. You remember last week when I met you for brunch after my cut, even you commented on my hair. And when you say something like “holy shit babe, he took you fucking short short this time” I now I had been scalped!!!

He freaking talks to everyone and just when I think he’s forgotten I’m in  his chair, he presses down on my head and keeps his hand there during conversation. He has reminded me several times that when I hear the clipper click on, to drop my head and sit up real straight. It’s like he gets off buzzing my neck and then showing off his work to the world! He’s not gay – I know that – I believe he just like the power trip deal. Like ” I’m buzzing this bitch and she is powerless” but he is so stinking nice and really good at what he does…

The conversations in the salon I hear are about how “my husband loves my length, or I’m growing my hair” all the talk as most of the women have hair down their back! I feel like when they walk by, they must be wondering – I bet her fucking husband hates that short shit” my husband would divorce me! It’s almost as if they feel sorry for me with such a short haircut.

Once in the chair as the clippers raced up my nape, I peered over at a young women seeming to make a facial expression, staring, as if fingernails were being run down a black board. Like – holy shit, I feel sorry for her…

Just as I’m about to feel my hair growing enough to “feel” a little stubble, I’m in the chair, being shorn. I know you love the routine, and I feel sometimes you pay Ben extra for his work. Never the less- I never really get used to the “show” he puts on while I’m in the chair. With all the really hot females walking around with their longer styles, it sometimes makes me feel uneasy, as most men love longer styles. I know you love my clippered nape, and I’m so glad you do! After all babe, with 20 years of marriage, I know my hair drives you fucking crazy, right? I’ll take the chin down, clippers up the nape anytime – I love you sweetie…

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