Down to The Wood

Alex put her hoodie on. It was black, with a Nirvana album cover on. It made her look edgier than she actually was. The world didn’t have to know that she was wearing pink unicorn knickers under her jeans. It was a mild spring day, but she was going to need that hood…

One more time, she checked herself out in the mirror. She really didn’t know why Jack, this amazing guy she’d been talking to online for about half a year, was so mad about her. He said he was fond of her “big blue eyes”, but with her heavy eyelids she thought she looked more like Sid from Ice age, or a cartoon slug or snail. Maybe it was because he’d never seen a picture of her without mascara on.

Jack told her she had a cute nose, but she just thought it was big, bulbous and ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder was what her Grandma had told her, but she struggled to see any beauty today, especially with a new spot brewing on her nose.

But, even if she didn’t believe it, just being told by a guy that he thought she was beautiful, made her feel nice. 

They hadn’t met yet. She hoped they would one day, and that he’d like her just as much in person. In fact, she really hoped he would like her. Especially because she was about to make a massive sacrifice for him. 

Oh my god, she thought, going downstairs, I’m mad. Actually mental. 

     ‘Mum,’ she called out to the kitchen, hoping she would be too distracted by cleaning to ask too many questions. ‘I’m going out. Later.’

     ‘Where are you going?’

     ‘Why do you want to know everything I’m doing?’ Alex said as she shrugged on the Hello Kitty backpack which she was aware clashed horribly with the hoodie.

     Mum wasn’t too distracted, pausing to prop the mop up against the fridge. ‘You might be 18, I’m still your Mum. I’d just like to know where my only daughter is going.’

     ‘To town.’ Alex said quickly, trying to find her keys in her jean pockets. She knew that answer was too brief. Mum was going to ask for more, she knew it.

     ‘To do what?’

     For the first time, the gravity of what she was about to do hit her, for real. ‘Uhm,’ she noticed her voice going thin and wobbly. She tried masking it with a fake cough. ‘I wanted to get a haircut.’

     ‘Again?’

      She folded her arms, looking like a parody of a rebellious teenager, in the Nirvana hoodie. ‘I have a job now. It’s my money.’ Then, she decided to plant the seed…Just to see how it would go down. ‘And it’s my hair, Mum. I’ll have it all shaved off if I want.’

      ‘You’ll probably be silly enough to do that, as well.’ 

      OK, so I would just be “silly”, not complete and total horror from Mum. That’s a start. Should I actually tell her?

      ‘I was thinking maybe, probably, going like…Shorter.’

      This was when the suspicion surfaced. ‘Why this sudden thing for short hair, Alex? It was nearly to your bum, then you had it all chopped off to your shoulders, then almost to your chin.’

     ‘Why do you care so much, it’s not your hair. Anyway, my fringe is nearly in my eyes.’

     ‘I just don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret, that’s all.’ She picked up the mop again. ‘Go on, you’ve probably got an appointment to keep.’ 

      ‘Bye.’ she breezed out the door like it was no big thing, but she was starting to feel sick. Was she really ready to do this? You’ll only know when you’re in the baber’s. 

That was weird, though. How Jack insisted she had it done at the barber’s. 

Everyone had a fetish. Alex knew that. She never judged anybody about anything. Jack told her this quite early on. Their chats started to get sexual about a month into talking, and it was him who’d brought it up:

 

“I don’t tell many people about this but I really feel like I can trust you…If I tell you, you promise you will still talk to me?”

 

“Uuuhh sure but as long as its nothing illegal LOL”

 

It was then that Jack told her he had a fetish for bald girls. At first, she thought it was a little weird, but then again…Not too weird. It was harmless wasn’t it? If he’d said short hair, that would be OK. 

He was gushingly grateful when she’d been accepting. 

 

“Thank you so much!! You’re awesome! I was really worried about what you would think, ngl. You are probably the most accepting person i know…damn, why do you have to live in the UK and not the US?”

 

“Maybe I’ll move one day…and you can shave my head :P” she’d typed back, which really lit the touch paper. 

Every time they spoke, Jack brought up shaving her head, and every time she’d indulged him and spoke to him about it.

 

A couple of months ago, with the sheets over her head so nobody would see the light from her screen, into the small hours of the morning, the chat got more and more sexual. Jack admitted that the fantasy of his “Cute UK girl getting shaved down to the wood in a barber’s shop” was his “Favorite thing to fap to”

 

Alex wasn’t sure what to think of that. What was she meant to think about that? Until meeting Jack, she didn’t even know there were guys who were into it. 

The idea of a guy having a wank while he thought about her getting shaved made her feel a little gross, a little weird, but also somehow flattered. 

 

“Maybe it should stay as just a fantasy, Mr? I’ll look fugly bald and you probably won’t like me” 

 

His reply melted her melt…and made her feel even weirder. “You will look more beautiful than ever to me with a bald head.”

 

So, she tried to find a compromise, and got her hair cut to her shoulders. It was no big deal. Sure, it was long, but that was more because she was lazy, and anyway, it was full of split ends. She’d had some cute bangs cut in, which she’d always wanted to try. It did look better. Jack said he liked it, and she looked great. But of course, he wanted more. He had kept asking when she was due another cut, would she go shorter etc etc. 

When he was having a bad week at college, she decided to cheer him up, and had it cut to just below her chin, as it was now. 

It still wasn’t enough. And why should it be? She wasn’t bald.

This seemed to trigger outright teasing from Jack. 

 

“I want you to trade your chocolate brown hair for a creamy white scalp”, “I can’t wait until your head is as bald as your pussy ;-)” 

 

The fact that Jack knew she shaved her pussy made her blush (sending intimate pictures to guys on the internet…whoopsie!) and it was quite a weird thing to say, but Alex would be lying if she said she didn’t like being the object of a guy’s weird obsessions. 

 

Then, about two weeks after her last cut, it stopped. Not just the teasing. Everything. No messages. She’d messaged him several times, a few nights in a row. She was yelling into a void. Jack had gone from her life.

People around her seemed to notice she was down. Her Mum kept asking if there was anything wrong, and her co-workers in the supermarket she did a few days a week in inbetween college kept on asking if she was ok. 

The truth was, she loved Jack. And she didn’t realise how hopeless and empty her life was until they’d stopped talking. 

Alex knew it was unbelievably stupid, but she had visions of marrying him…with a full head of hair on their wedding day.

After over a week of no-contact, she’d woken up to a massive message from Jack.

 

“Alex, I’m sorry for not talking to you or replying to any of your messages. I didn’t mean to ghost you like that I just didn’t know what to say. I really have enjoyed talking to you. I really value having you in my life even if we haven’t met yet but I need to be honest with you. I speak to other people online, of course I do, and I have a met a girl with the same hair interest as me. She’s open to letting me shave her and she lives in my state. I love you, but you’re so damn far away, and I don’t even know if I will ever be able to live out my fetish with you. Please don’t hate me when I tell you I think we need to break this thing off. I will still miss you like crazy though.”

 

If Alex had to find words to describe how that felt, she would have gone with hollow. She always thought people were just being dramatic when they said things like “I feel like my heart has been torn out”, but that was how it felt. 

This man, this stranger on the internet, was all she had been thinking about for the past six months. 

And to think, she had been imagining herself marrying him. Well, clearly he didn’t feel the same way. Clearly, she wasn’t as important to him as he was to her. 

It made her feel stupid. 

She hated Jack in that moment, but she listened to her impulse. 

 

“I’m so heartbroken rn. You know I was in love with you? I still am to be honest. If you promise me that we will meet…I will shave my head for you.”

 

“…Are you serious?”

 

“Yes. But you have to promise.” 

 

“OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME? I promise you that we will meet. I’ll break it off with this other girl. You’re so much more special to me than her.”

 

“OK…Well, maybe we when do meet it will have grown back…and you can shave it yourself ;P”

 

Now, walking into town to get her fucking head shaved, Alex saw the simple truth of the matter. She was an idiot. She’d do anything to keep this guy interested, and he lived on the other side of The Atlantic FFS. 

But, turning, and walking back home now – that would feel like quitting a video game because of a hard level. And Alex never did that. She kept grinding to the next save point, and that was all this was – the next save point in her relationship with Jack. 

Sure, she’d probably look like a dick bald, but if she met the man of her dreams (something very few actually get to do) it would be worth it. Just a few months of looking like a bald dick for what could be a lifetime of happiness. 

She reached the end of her road, and turned left, towards the main road into town. The place she’d chosen to do the deed was called Diamond Cutz (they always had weird names, barbers) because it was a place she could walk right into. 

Phoning up as a girl to book an appointment and saying uhh, can you shave my head please? Would probably just make them think she was trolling. 

And Jack has insisted it be done at the barber’s. Now she thought about it, Alex was kinda pleased about that. The hairdresser who had done her last two cuts was a bubbly woman in her early 30s called Amber who worked in the same salon Mum used. 

     ‘This looks sooooo nice. I knew it would work on you.’ Amber had said as she took the cape off Alex’s shoulders, after giving her the chin length bob. ‘Your hair is seriously thick too. Works well with this length.’ 

     And after she’s done such a nice job, working so long to get her fringe to look just right, Alex would feel guilty telling Amber she wanted it shaved off. Amber might even refuse to do it. Anyway, they’d charge more at the salon. 

Once she got to the main road, Alex cut through the park, yomped across the grass, getting her Converces even muddier, walking straight into the town centre. 

Five minutes later, Diamond Cutz came into view. Her breathing was getting quicker, and her tummy felt like it was spinning. 

If you don’t want to do it, you can just go home. Right now. 

Alex stopped just before the front door, looking through the plate glass window at the line of guys waiting their turn, and the five barber’s at work, cutting and clippering their way through their clientele. 

An invisible force field had been raised. She didn’t feel able to open the door. 

Don’t you dare pussy out, you’ve come this far.

Pushing past the forcefield, she opened the door and stepped inside. Like the salon, it smelt of hair product, but the muskier manly kind rather than the sweet fruity smells she was used to in the salon she and Mum used. 

Her eyes darted around the barbers. All the guys waiting were scrolling on their phones, apart from two older guys: one of them looked like Walter from the Big Lewbowski, arms folded and glowering, the other older guy looked like Bernie Sanders and was reading a motorbike magazine. 

None of them seemed to pay attention to her. Nobody stood up and pointed at her and said “OMG, it’s a GIRL. In the BARBER’S! What’s wrong with her?”

Realising she was standing around, making herself even more conspicuous, Alex shed the ruck sag and hung it on a coat stand. 

She found a spare seat next to a young guy who looked like every other dude in this town – Broccoli haircut and a half arsed attempt at a beard. Smiling awkwardly at him when he glanced up she sat down next to him. 

Only Walter was looking at her. He looked away when she made eye contact. 

So this was it. Her hair had minutes to live. Alex’s legs turned to jelly and she started rocking back and forth in her chair, wondering which barber would be her hair’s executioner.  

From left to right, she sized them all up: a fat man with a bald head and a beard who was talking to his client about football, then a young skinny guy with a mustache and 80’s serial killer glasses, a 30-something woman with long ash blonde hair and a tan with a pissed off expression who seemed to be attack her client’s hair rather than cutting it, a 20-something woman with huge false eyelashes and long black hair who was talking about the current Prime Minister was a knob, and on older guy offering his questionable views about immigration while doing very little hair cutting. Above the older’s guy’s mirror was an old sign using the kinda of fat type face you’d see in the 70’s which said Your barber today is Jerry.

Bashing her knees together, she decided she wanted anybody but the ash blonde or the racist old man.

After a few minutes the one with the beard whipped away the cape and boomed out ‘Next please!’ with a smile in his voice. 

One of the guys got up and walked over and he and the barber enjoyed a friendly greeting. 

     ‘Alright fella, what we doin’ today?’ 

     He seemed nice, Alex thought. She hoped she had him. 

     Next to finish was the woman with the eyelashes. ‘Wanna come over?’ 

     The man reading the magazine got up. 

     Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Her time was coming. Alex stopped bashing her knees together when she saw Walter give her an odd look. 

Trying to give herself something to focus on, other than her impending baldness, she looked at the pictures tacked on the wall, behind the coat stand. Various framed pictures of celebrities who had probably never even heard of the down were hung on the walls from crooked frames: Sean Connery, John Wayne, a few people she assumed were racing drivers, and a few old film posters. Typical bloke stuff. A few pictures of clients were tacked to walls, sitting in the barber’s chairs. 

Regular clients, she guessed.

The mustache guy was settling up with a client at the tills. 

     ‘Ok, who’s next?’

     The guy who’s been sitting next to her stood up. Now it was just Walter and another young guy staring at his phone left. 

She probably wasn’t going to get the ash blonde. That calmed her down. Only by about 5%, but it calmed her down.

     ‘OK, all done fella.’ she heard the man with the beard say, as he walked his client to the tills. 

     Just two more people in front of her. Alex started to feel out of breath, even though she was sitting still. 

     ‘Next please.’ He said, striding back to his station. 

     One guy got up, leaving just Walter in front of her. 

     Alex could hear own pulse thudding in her ears. Whump-whump-whump-whump.

     The ash blonde finished. ‘Next!’ she barked. 

     At least she wasn’t getting her. Alex breathed out. Then she saw Walter was gesturing to her with his thumb. ‘Are you getting your haircut, young lady?’

      ‘Eh-uh,’ She found she had lost the ability to talk. Alex swallowed, feeling like her mouth was suddenly filled with saw dust. ‘Yes.’ a dry croak. ‘I am.’

     ‘In a barber’s.’ He crossed his arms again and resumed glowering. ‘Novel. You go. I’m waiting for Jerry.’

      Slowly, almost mechanically, Alex stood up. 

      The ash blonde stood by her chair, eyebrows arched. 

      Now Alex knew how a rabbit felt in headlights, trying to decide which ran to run. 

      ‘It’s nothing personal Rachel,’ Walter was craning his neck to talk to the blonde. ‘Jerry’s been cutting my hair since 1999.’

      Alex gulped. So the blonde had a name. Rachel. Without really meaning to, she began walking towards her. 

      Jerry stopped talking about migrants and looked at her. 

      ‘Hi.’ Rachel made it sound more like a question. ‘You do know we’re not a unisex place, don’t you?’ Now she had a warning tone.

      ‘I do.’ Alex stopped by the chair, looking at it like a kid would look at a plate of broccoli. ‘It’s fine. I want a…a man’s haircut.’

      ‘OK, take a seat.’

      ‘Do you know when we opened?’ Jerry said, and it took Alex a few seconds to realise the question was aimed at her.

      ‘No, I don’t.’ Her backside found the chair, the leatherette still warm from the last client.

      ‘1994. And do you know how many girls we’ve had here?’ 

      Alex shook her head, watching her bob dance from side to side, possibly for the last time. 

      ‘Two. You’re the third.’ 

      ‘Cool? What do I get? A free t-shirt or something?’ 

      Jerry laughed and went back to cutting his client’s hair. 

      ‘OK then.’ Rachel put a rubber collar around Alex’s neck, which looked pencil thin in the chair, then swished the cape over her. ‘What are we doing today?’

      ‘Can you…Can you…’ It was hard for her to get her words out again. ‘Shave my head?’ The words felt alien coming from her mouth. It felt like all she’d been talking about with Jack for months and months was shaving her head, but this was the first time she had actually said those words. Rachel’s eyebrows now shot up so far they looked in danger of disappearing into her hairline. ‘You’re serious?’ she asked, sounding a little more aggressive than needed. ‘You’re not pranking me?’

      ‘Yup.’ Alex was aware of the dark haired barber with the eye lashes stopping work to watch their exchange. 

      ‘Do your parents know you’re doing this?’

      ‘I’m 18.’ Alex frowned. 

      ‘And you’re sure you want me to shave your head?’

      She was getting frustrated now. It was hard enough getting the guts up to do it without the barber trying to talk her out of it. ‘Yes.’ 

      ‘OK then…As long as you’re sure.’ Rachel picked up a blue bottle of spray and cleaned the clippers with them. ‘Do you want a guard?’ 

      ‘What do you mean?’

      Rachel put down the spray and picked up what looked like a short plastic comb. ‘This is a guard. It means you’ll have a few inches of hair left. Like a buzzcut. Or do you want me to take you all the way to bald?’ she said impatiently. 

      ‘Aww, chill out, Rachel.’ The black haired one said. ‘She’s terrified, bless. Look at her face.’

      ‘Just work on your own client, Charlotte.’

      Alex would so much rather be in Charlotte’s chair. She swallowed again and made eye contact with Rachel in the mirror. ‘All the way to bald.’

      ‘OK.’ Rachel shrugged, putting the guard down.

      ‘The customer is always right…’ Jerry intoned. ‘Nice easy one for you, Rach’.’ 

      ‘Yeah.’ she put a strip of chewing gum in her mouth. ‘Can go on my fag break after this.’ She picked up a pair of reddish brown clippers with a sticker of skull and crossbones on them, and another plain white sticker with “Rach’s” written in pink felt tip. She pumped the seat up, lifting Alex’s muddy Converses further and further from the ground.

The clippers buzzed into life, with a low, fizzing hum. Just the sound was enough for her to feel the hairs stand up on her neck. This was it. 

Rachel ran her hands through Alex’s hair, standing back, sizing her up. She knew what she was doing – deciding where best to start, and “break the seal” of her little bob, which was slightly scruffy a few weeks on.

      ‘OK, head down for me.’

      Alex jumped. She’d forgotten something. ‘Wait, wait!’

      Jaw tightening with barely restrained anger, Rachel shut the clippers off. ‘What?’

     ‘I was going to film it. Is that OK?’ 

     ‘Yes.’ She slammed the clippers back down into the charging station and stood back. 

     ‘Thank you. Sorry.’ She slid off the chair, and made her way back towards her rucksack. ‘I need my tripod thing.’

     Since she’d taken her seat, Alex noticed that another four guys had come in. Now everyone was watching her, as the girl with the cute bob and fringe made her way to the coat stand, cape still on and swishing. 

     When she told Jack she would do it, one of the first things he asked was would she film it for him? Why not, she thought. This was a massive fucking deal, so she just as well have recorded evidence that she did it. Maybe, in twenty years time her and Jack would look back at the video together?

     ‘OK, thanks.’ Alex got back in the chair, and set her phone up on the tripod, managing to knock the bottle of cleaning spray on the floor. ‘Shit, sorry.’

     Rachel huffed, bending down to pick it up. 

     ‘You will be sorry.’ Jerry said jokingly. ‘She’s not going to take any prisoners now.’

     It might have been intended as a joke, but it made Alex swallow. 

     ‘Are you ready now?’ Rachel used a tone of voice that dared Alex to say “no”. 

     ‘Yeah.’ 

     Rachel turned the clippers on. ‘Head down for me.’

     Doing as she asked, Alex bit her lip, waiting to feel the clippers for the first time. ‘Will it hurt?’

     ‘No.’ Rachel breathed her minty breath on Alex, getting closer. She smoothed Alex’s hair down, and then tousled it with her fingers. 

     ‘Are you sure.’ 

     By her stroppy tone of voice, Alex knew this would be the last chance she’d get to back out. 

     ‘Yes…’ 

     She had never sounded so unsure about anything in her life, but it was enough for Rachel. Alex felt a scratching on her neck from the clippers, right on the middle of her nape. The sensation then travelled up her nape, then up the back of her head. 

     ‘Oh my Goooooood. Eek.’ 

     She felt a clump of hair let go, but didn’t see where it went, then Rachel took another swipe, faster this time, again, from the nape up towards her crown. Alex could feel the resistance from her as it met with the blades, then felt it fall away. 

     ‘That feels so weird. Honestly,’ she twitched a little in her chair, fighting the urge to reach behind and touch the back of her head. ‘It’s kinda nice.’ The hot clippers contrasted with the cool draught on her newly exposed skin, which until now, had never seen the light of day. ‘You should try it!’ 

     Rachel’s jaw carried on pounding at the gum. ‘I’m alright, ta.’ She made another swipe with the clippers, and now the back of Alex’s head was getting cold. ‘So what’s the new look for?’

     ‘Umm..’ She hesitated. Why hesitate, though? Just tell the truth. ‘I’m doing it for my boyfriend…Yeah…’ Alex paused as the clippers buzzed through an especially tough bit of hair. ‘He likes bald girls, and he’s always wanted me to try it.’

     ‘Oh, OK.’ Rachel said. Alex couldn’t be sure, but she was pretty certain she saw Rachel mouth “fucking weirdo” before saying. ‘You must really like him.’

     ‘Yeah, I do.’ 

     Rachel was creeping closer to the sides now, as a big chunk of hair slid down the cape to her right, and landed on her lap, like a dead animal. Alex got a waft of her own Head & Shoulders shampoo and first the felt tug of regret. No point looking back now, you idiot Alex.

     ‘Lucky boy. I think.’ Rachel took off a section to Alex’s left, which joined the other bit on her lap.

     Curiosity got the better of her. ‘Can I feel it?’

     Rachel turned the clippers off. ‘Sure.’ 

     Even though Alex knew not to expect the soft hair she’d been used to, it still made her eyes widen to put her hand their and feel what felt like a cactus. ‘Ooooh…’ I’ve done a silly. I’ve really done it. She dropped her voice. ‘Shit…’

     ‘You can see it if you want?’ Rachel angled a salon mirror at the back of her head, so she could see the reflection in front of her. The back of her head was essentially bald now, even more pale than she’d been expecting and covered with stubble. There was a mole she didn’t know she had.

     Feeling her face flush, and seeing her cheeks redden in the mirror, all she could do was laugh. ‘Ok…Well, I don’t know what I expected to see but…Even then…Shit.’ She turned and smiled at Rachel inviting her to continue. 

     The clippers buzzed into life, and Rachel advanced closer to Alex’s left ear, the fizzing and buzzing even louder. 

It was at that point when Alex realised she had an audience. The four guys in the waiting room had become five, all of them had their eyes fixed on her. 

Both Jerry and Charlotte had stopped cutting hair to watch the show.

Just a thin strand of hair was shielding her ear, which Rachel held up, then sheared away by running the clippers up and over her ear.

     ‘My ear looks literally massive now.’ Alex grimaced. She hadn’t realised how much it protruded. The little gold stud earring she had in the shape of a lighting bolt seemed to be silently mocking her.

     Possibly as way to be cruel, Rachel immediately started on the other side, this time running the clippers up her cheek first, exposing the ear. 

Alex gulped again. She was starting to look different. 

The pile of hair on her lap was now massive, and growing every few seconds. Her cheeks went a brighter red, and her face grew hotter when she noticed one of the guys in the waiting area was filming her head shave.

The hair on her crown, as well as her fringe was left intact. 

     ‘Head down for me again…All the way down.’ 

     Alex put herself in an unflattering pose, feeling herself getting a double chin as she pressed her head down. She had a view of the hair in her lap, and could see her own fringe hanging down, waving at her.

A ridiculous thought came into Alex’s head: awwh, my fringe is shaking…it’s scared. 

She gritted her teeth as the clippers ploughed right down the middle of her head, sending a huge avalanche of hair onto her lap…then another….then another. 

The top of her head was getting cold, and light. Her fringe remained untouched. It shocked her how quickly Rachel shaved the top her head (mostly) bald. The clippers turned off, and Rachel guided her head back up with cold hands. 

Alex was looking back at her reflection, now bald apart from her bangs. They were thick and chunky, with the parting almost at the centre of her head.

     ‘Keeping the fringe?’ Rachel asked almost playfully. 

     Alex stared at her reflection, trying to adjust to it. She was tempted to say yes. ‘He did say bald so…Go for it.’ she made a shaving motion with her hand, up and over the top of her head. Using fake enthusiasm to mask her embarrassment, she smiled widely, showing off her braces which seemed 100,000x more obvious without her hair. ‘Shave it all off!’ 

     A small cheer rang out from the waiting area, which made her curl her toes and dig her nails into the palms of her hands.

The de-fringing was the fastest and most brutal part of the shave, she thought. 

Rachel swiped the clippers from right to left. The first swipe thinned them out, sending a sheet of hair down her face, the second made them look stringy and thin, and then…they were gone. 

The one thing Alex hadn’t factored in – the crop of acne that had flourished under bangs, spreading across her forehead. 

Now she had no poker face. Well done Alex, you’ve made yourself look like a massive twat. 

     ‘You OK?’ Rachel asked, now tidying up around the nape, getting little bits that she missed.

     ‘Yup.’ Alex felt her eyes start to water, and saw them go glassy and wet in her reflection. ‘Can’t put iit back on, anyway can I?’ She thought back to when she was a little kid, and her hair was the only thing she liked about herself. To be honest, it had been the only thing she liked about herself aged 18. It was just Jack who had a different idea.

Rachel ran the clippers over her crown a few times, evening out the stubble. As she sent little bits of stubble, and to Alex’s mild disgust, little bits of dead skin and dandruff floating past her face, her audience seemed to lose interest.

     ‘How’s that for you?’ Rachel shut the clippers off.

     Alex sat in stunned silence. It was real. She had really done it. The consequences weighed heavy in the pit of her stomach. She was going to have to face Mum. People at work. At college. This wasn’t a short haircut she could style out, no. Her was completely fucking gone. But it wasn’t “down to the wood” like Jack asked. 

     ‘Uhh,’ she brought her hand out from under the cape, disturbing some of the hair which had landed there. A big chunk of it dropped on the floor. ‘Fuck…’ Alex said softly, running her hand over the short stubble, laughing at the absurdity of it all. ‘Well, it isn’t a look I would like…Chose. But he did say he wanted to see me you know…bald as in…’ she gestured with her hands, trying to find the right words before just saying. ‘You know…bald.’

     ‘So you want to be wet shaved?’ 

     ‘What’s that?’ Alex felt stupider and more out of her element by the second. 

     Rachel said nothing. Instead she slid open a drawer and took out a straight razor, which glinted nastily in the barber shop lighting. It looked like something Sweeney Todd would have used. 

      ‘You know I’m not so keen on that…Kinda scary looking.’

      ‘OK then,’ Rachel put it away and got out something similar to what her Dad shaved his face with. ‘You could go with a foil shaver?’

      ‘Will it hurt?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘Can we go for the foil thingy instead?’

      Rachel nodded, and without any more chit chat, switched it on. The angry sound it made reminded Alex of a wasp trapped in a glass. 

With the same sort of expression an artist would have on their face as they made some finishing touches to a piece of art, Rachel began to rub the foil shaver on the side of Alex’s head. Like the clippers it was hot, but the dry, frantic scratching sound it made was somehow worse.

Wincing as Rachel scrubbed them up and over her ear, she really, really, hoped Jack would appreciate this.

The foil shaver had left bright white skin in their wake. She was expecting her scalp to be pale because it had never seen the sun, but not this pale. Her head was as white as a dinner plate. 

Gradually, Rachel worked her way around Alex’s back and sides, commenting that she had a quite a bit of dandruff. 

      ‘Well…Not anymore.’ she added, and then, for the first time cracked a smile. If Alex didn’t know better she would say this woman was trying to embarrass her. 

And it was working. Alex felt like you could fry an egg on her cheeks. 

Lastly, Rachel worked the foil shaver on the top of Alex’s head, and seemed to linger longer than needed. As far as Alex was concerned, she was bald and there was no need to keep going. 

     ‘Don’t want you to leave you patchy…’

     ‘I actually do appreciate that.’ 

     Rachel switched them off, then stood back, checking her work. Satisfied with her quality control, she nodded to herself. ‘Yup. You’re all done.’

Then, unceremoniously, tugged off the cape. The pile of brown locks which had been sitting on Alex’s lap plopped onto the floor.

She reached up and touched her head. It didn’t feel how she expected…dry, smooth, soft, and slightly oily, almost waxy. 

     ‘That’s so weird…Oh my God…Oh my God.’ 

     Alex didn’t know how to describe the feeling. Rush was the wrong word, but she certainly felt adrenaline pumping through her, and a strange sense of unreality. She leaned forwards to get a better look at her scalp – she had a strange compulsion to study it, a bit like she wanted to see the back of her teeth after getting them cleaned at the dentist’s.

There wasn’t even a trace of hair. It looked like she had never had hair – only her pale head, like a massive tan line, gave the game away.

Up close, she could see various moles she had never seen before, then turned her to one side. It was bigger and rounder than she had expected. 

     ‘Well…That’s an interesting look.’

     ‘Eyebrows next?’ Jerry quipped.

     ‘God, no. Not gonna lie, I look like a freak already.’

     ‘Hang on, hang on. Smile!’ Jerry snapped a picture with his phone. ‘I’ll get that printed one to go on the wall.’

     

     Alex followed Rachel over to the till, aware of so many eyes on her.

     ‘£15, please.’ 

     ‘I guess that’s actually a pretty good deal.’ She got out her bank card, which she kept in her phone case. ‘If I get a trim it’s like £50, and they only take like an inch. You’ve literally shaved me until there’s no hair left for £15.’

     Rachel smirked as Alex tapped her card against the reader. 

     Inside, Alex felt almost…conned. 15 quid to look worse than when she went in, and she actually quite liked her bob. Now, she was faced with a social anxiety quandary. Put her hood up before she stepped outside and let everyone in the barber’s know she was embarrassed as fuck, or go outside looking like a weird bald freak?

Sooner or later, the world was going to have to see her as a weird bald freak…Even Mum. She glanced over her shoulder before leaving, and Rachel was already gone, probably on that break for a smoke she was so keen to have after she shaved her.

Alex stepped outside, without her hood up, feeling the warm spring air tingle against her scalp. Not ready to go home yet, she decided she needed something strong to drink. Her sense of unreality had faded into a kind of slow burning panic. Alex had many, many unanswered questions about what life as a bald girl would be like. 

Her instinct was head into a pub or bar, any one that was open, it didn’t matter which, and neck some vodka. 

But what if they ID’d her? She had visions of the bar staff saying they didn’t recognise her because she had long hair in her photo. 

     “Uh yeah…I was just in the barbers.”

     Unthinkably embarrassing. She wasn’t ready for that yet. It would have to be a coffee. As she walked towards the mall, she didn’t notice anybody staring at her. No mouthy lads leaning out of passing cars and shouting “baldie!” like she’d feared. 

Approaching the entrance, she patted her head. Yup, still bald.

 

Again, nobody gave a fuck. No looks. No stares. Everybody was too busy looking in shop windows, arguing with their kids, or staring at their phones. 

Alex walked into the coffee shop, an open plan Costa in the big atrium in the middle of the mall. It was bustling, but she could spot a few free tables. 

She joined the queue, feeling self conscious of big bald head when a girl joined behind her, fighting the urge to put her hood up – but it was a bit late for that.

When it was her turn to order, the male Barista had a brief, almost unnoticeable double take, but recovered quickly. 

     Alex smiled, knowingly. ‘It’s OK, you can stare at me. Can I have a large latte, please?’

     He didn’t say anything about staring at her, instead going straight to work on her drink, studiously not looking at her in the way people do when they really, really, want to look at somebody. 

 

     Sitting on a table by herself, Alex watched the crowd of shoppers pass by her, with no more stares. At least she didn’t stand out that much, even though her head stuck out like a massive fucking white lightbulb. 

Only a passing kid, clinging on to his Mum’s hand seemed to stare at her. 

      ‘It’s rude to stare, you little shit.’ Alex muttered under her breath at him. He seemed to sense her hostility, and looked away.

The latte didn’t do much to calm her down, but the caffeine did give her more clarity of thought. There was nothing her Mum could do. She was 18, she couldn’t ground her. This wasn’t a tattoo across her face, she’d hadn’t been expelled from college, she hadn’t committed a crime. She decided she worried too much. 

But the whole point of this had been to keep Jack. She knew this would work. Mission accomplished. 

Alex finished her latte, and began a slow walk back home.

 

    With her hood up, she paused before putting her key in the lock. She spent the entire time she walked back home rehearsing what she’d say to Mum. 

Hi Mum, I got my hair cut…Yeah, I did go shorter this time. 

In the hallway, she could hear daytime TV droning from the lounge. 

     ‘Hi Mum.’

     ‘That was a quick haircut.’ The thinnest trace of suspicion was already in her voice.

     ‘Yeah…It was.’ Still with her hood up, she stood in the doorway. 

      Her Mum was sipping tea, looking relaxed but about to get the shock of her life. ‘So? What did you have done? Take your hood down.’

     ‘I did go a lot shorter. You won’t go mental?’

      ‘Alex…Just show me.’

     Feeling another rush of air to her scalp, she dropped her hood. 

      There was a tinkling crash as her Mum’s mug hit the floor. ‘Oh my GOD.’

     Trying to defuse the situation, Alex did a goofy smile and tried striking a cute pose. It didn’t work. 

      Mum was on her feet, shouting at her. ‘What the hell did you do that for? Oh my God, Alex. Oh my GOD.’ 

     ‘So you don’t like it?’

     ‘Don’t like it?’ Her voice rose an octave. ‘You’ve completely ruined yourself. What the fff…’ – she stopped herself from swearing – ‘The hell did you do that for?’

     ‘Uuh, guess I got sick of my hair.’

     ‘So you shaved your head, that’s a logical answer, Alex. Jesus Christ. You know I’m shocked, but I’m not surprised. Alex, you idiot. What will work think?’

     ‘They can’t sack me for baldness.’

      ‘Yeah, but you’re going to scare customers off.’

     ‘Oh, thanks Mum.’

      ‘Sarcasm?’ She said, hands on her hips. ‘What, you want me to be supportive? Of you doing that?’ Calming down a little, she started to pick up bits of broken mug. ‘I dread to think what your Dad will say. And grandma and granddad. We’ve got to go and see them for Sunday lunch tomorrow.’ 

     Reality slapped Alex in the face. This really had to be worth it. Leaving Mum to squawk down the phone to one of her friends about much of a retard her daughter had just been, she went up stairs, rubbing her head all the way. She shut herself in her room, then texted Jack. 

 

“I did a thing.”

 

She carried on staring at her phone after she’d sent it. This time of day, Jack’s replies were either instant, or took hours because he was asleep. 

 

He was awake. 

 

“You cannot be serious.”

 

Alex took him a mirror selfie with her sticking her tongue out, pointing to her head, then sent it to him.

 

“Thank you so much! You are so incredible and beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you!”

 

Then 

 

“Please tell me you took the video?”

 

Alex grinned, deciding she would let him sweat it out a little. She purposefully put her phone down, and set up her Playstation. In the background, her phone vibrated with a message. 

 

“Did you take the video? Can I see it?”

 

“Somebody’s keen ;)” Alex typed back, then sent him the video. 

She looked at her phone, waiting for a response – more over the top gushing. But nothing.

 

“Did it arrive?”

 

Staring at her unreplied-to message, she felt a faint, creeping, burning sensation in her chest as panic set in. Was he ever going to reply? Had she done something to piss him off? Alex resisted the urge to send him another message.

He was probably just fapping to the video, unable to control himself. After all, he’d wanted this for about six months. 

Downstairs, Mum was wailing down the phone to one of her friends: 

     ‘I just don’t know how she could be so stupid…What was she thinking?…It might be her hair, but we’re the ones who’ll have to go out in public with her.’ 

     

Alex lost an hour playing the Playstation until her Mum called her down for tea. Not wanting to face the barrage of questions, she took her dinner up to her room, and ate it on the bed.

Still no reply from Jack. 

Screw it. Still chewing a mouthful of pasta, she typed out another message. 

 

“Is everything ok?”

 

Her reply was instant, no words, just a link. Relieved to have a reply, but nervous about what it might be, she opened the link with a shaky finger. 

It sent her to YouTube. 

 

Cute UK girl gets her head shaved to the wood

 

The screen cap was a still from her video, sitting in the chair, waiting for her shave. It already had 20k views. 

Alex nearly threw up. It started playing, and she watched Rachel smooth her hair down again. 

     ‘This isn’t fucking happening.’ There was an acidic taste in her mouth. The slow burning panic in her chest was now a full blown fire. 

Alex clicked on the channel’s name: Bitchclippers 

She was one of dozens of videos, all shown the same way. 

There were girls who looked oriental, a few Indian girls, various other white girls, all with similar titles, so of which were plain insulting: 

 

Girl from Poland gets shaved with a razor 

 

Fat American woman goes bald 

 

Dumb Filipino chick loses her hair

 

‘Oh my fuck. Oh shit.’ Alex heard her own voice quivering. She’d been scammed, then put on internet for everyone to laugh at. The latest in a long line of stupid girls to fall for the same trick. 

 

“You cunt!! I thought you loved me. Take that down right now or I’m calling the Police on you.”

 

A reply came back instantly again, but it wasn’t from Jack: 

 

Sorry, this person isn’t available right now.