Sharon, my girlfriend of a few years, always, always on FB, I call the the stalker – 1800+ friends, and never post’s anything. Just looks, comments to me, oh she’s gained weight, holy shit she’s aged, always seems to be dissing someone to make herself feel better. She’s not a bad person, just loves to shit talk about folks, their lives, challenges and I’m quite sure comparing her semi-great life to all her FB friends. Other than my well documented love of short hair, insisting she maintain at least a semi short haircut – I think she’s quite happy. Until –
Our Thursday trip to the barbershop where she assumed she was getting the status quo – medium clippered nape #2, slightly over the ears with her signature long whisked bangs. Quite a stunning cut…
But with a quick text to Sam, the owner of Sam’s Barber & Beauty – and with a few white lies, Sharon sat in the chair for what she thought was a routine haircut that in her words “would shut me the fuck up for a week or so” Sam had been cutting my hair for years and we had dated back in the day for a few weeks, I really considered her a good friend. As usual, Sharon was on her phone, only ever handing it me as I had noticed in the past – when she got in the chair for a cut. No different today- the hand off was the same, only this time, she was logged into her FB account… Now I’m certainly no FB expert, but I did attempt to shoot a video of her impending cut – as this one would be somewhat shorter than in the past. She’s gone real short at times over the years, but I really wanted this cut on Video!
And with a few clicks, video rolling, Sam gave Sharon the shortest haircut she has had in years. Exactly as I had asked in the text – a super short high-n-tight, with her signature bangs now in her lap. Her neck scalped like a U.S. soldier pressing the Sioux in the late 1800’s. Removing the cape, and with a quick turn to the mirror, Sharon’s disgust was noticeable (by me at least) I had seen that face many times in the past. I paid, we walked out and the bitching started. Bad words, fuck you, fuck our relationship, you fucking asshole, fuck was the keyword here.
I drove home, Sharon screaming the whole way, as we pulled in to the condo. “Where’s my fucking phone you asshole?” she said as she immediately took a call from her best friend Annette. After a few minutes on the phone, I heard Sharon (speaking with Annette) say the following:
“You’re fucking kidding me – Holy shit, – silence- then – “that motherfucker”
I”ll end the post here. I somehow clicked on her Face book live feature, and all 1800+’s friends saw Sharon get sheared like a damn sheep, bitch the whole way home using every “f” word known to man. At last check- it was only viewed 10,000 times, shared by many, many more. Somehow I became a movie producer – I can actually film a video (I have no idea how it happened)
Sharon’s now a celebrity! – somewhat of a FB influencer I suppose… god that video is embarrassing….The comments flooded in…