Haicut phobia

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Hi my name is prita. I live in India and here the summer can be very hot reaching up to 50 degree centigrade. I’m 16 years old. I’ll soon be entering college when my o level result will come out. Here’s my story. I was afraid of haircuts for as long as I can remember. When I was 5 or 6 years old even then I would scream even if I was just passing by the salon. Sometimes my mom used to manipulate me to get a haircut but even then I was unable to control my emotions and would eventually cry. I don’t remember the thing which caused such fear in me. Sometimes I would like a hairstyle but just because of shyness and fear i was never able to do it. Due to constant crying and resistance my mother finally stopped urging me to get a haircut. I have never had a decent haircut since then now. I was going to enter the college and my hair were upto my butt and it was quite a struggle to manage such long hair on my own. I usually braid it because ponytails or buns give me severe pain and my hair would easily get tangled also my mother were noticing all of this but remained silent.

One day my mother asked me to come to her room she was looking quite serious she asked me to sit. I sat near to her on the sofa. She said that I know that you have a fear of haircuts that’s why I never forced you to get one but I think it’s time now you should get rid of this problem. I was already getting nervous on what she has in her mind the only solution to solve it is to face it. I’ve made a appointment with my hairdresser. I’ve informed her about the situation she’s quite cooperative now my nervousness has taken the form of tears my mother hugged me and ensured me that everything will be alright. I just want my daughter to be pretty and feel confident about herself she cupped my face and kissed my forehead tomorrow at 5 is your appointment we’ll go there be ready ok. I nodded the constant thought of me going there and having a haircut was making me go nauseous the night was pure hell even I was unable to eat something my mom was watching everything but remained silent because she knew if she said something I will take the advantage and will try to convince her out of it.

The next morning I tried to talk to my mother about this I said to her mom I want to talk to you about something. She said first we’ll have breakfast then we’ll talk about it. I was trapped I could not say no because I have to talk about that eventually. I tried to eat some of it but my mom forced me to eat all of it. Well atlast it was done my mom was getting up when I stopped her that I have to say something she sat down again. I started off softly and said I love my hair alot I’ve been growing it for a long time and it’s like my security blanket so plz mom I can’t do this. DO WHAT?? you know. No I don’t. I don’t want to get a hair……cut. Now you see that’s why I want you to get a haircut because it’s even difficult for you to say this word. My mother got up after this and now it was clear that I could not convince her my fate has been written now. I went to my room and was listening to some music so that I can shift my mind from it but whenever that thought came to my mind a chill went through my spine.I was thinking of all the stupid ideas and things on how to convince mom or how to get rid of this situation even though i knew it was useless. I just didn’t want to reside to my fate that easily i thought of locking myself in the room but then I remembered my mother has the duplicate key of every room I thought of even pretend to faint but then if I was caught which I eventually will be caught then I wouldn’t only be receiving a haircut I would be receiving a punishment haircut there. I was in my room thinking that the time would pause I just wanted to disappear from the world what should I do should I go talk to my mom again but I know it would be off no use and the lunch time was already there. I wanted to give it another try in our home even if you don’t want to eat you have to sit with the family during lunch and dinner time. I went out and sat with my family I wasn’t eating anything so my mother was asking me the reason I just said I was not hungry my siblings were doing jokes and all it would have lightened my mood if this was not such a great deal for me after lunch my mother was working in the kitchen when I approached her. mom oh yeah I was thinking of calling you we’ll leave at 4:30 so be ready then ok the words have left my mouth it was like my mom was reading my mind she didn’t even gave me a chance to speak now the only thing left for me was crying…. crying the hell out I cried for a whole hour at 4:30 my mom came to check me whether I was ready. At that time I was lying on my bed a complete hot sobbing mess.

My mother came to my room and didn’t reacted much like she was expecting this. She came over and gently lifted me up and asked me to go wash my face. I went to the bathroom for that when I came out she has picked a dress for me and asked me to change. I did then she took my hand gently and led me towards the stairs then she drove us off to the place I never intended to go. I was literally shivering OMG what will I do I can’t see any escape now we reached there. After reaching there she opened the door took my hand and walk me towards the salon. She told me to sit in the wait area and she went and talk to the receptionist then she came back and sat with me she took my hand and gave them a squeeze. Within a few minutes another woman approached us she warmly welcomed us and hugged us. Then we went through blocks and blocks and finally we reached our final block she asked me to sit on the salon chair. I complied everything was happening so fast that I didn’t even have the time to react. She draped the cape around my neck she combed all of my hair and tied a hair tie at the base of her neck and then it slid it down to the length I couldn’t see. She asked my mom for confirmation is this length enough mom nodded then she took shears and lowered my head and I could hear them cutting my precious hair oh God its happening after 2 minutes of continuous cutting the ponytail was finally free she put it on the console beside me I started crying like crazy after seeing this I was already on the verge of tears. At this my mother started consoling me the hairdresser continued her job she was so unflappable. she casually took spray bottle and just spraying water in my water then she took a comb and started combing my hair and then she divided into sections she only left some hair in the nape area. she tilted my head gently downward and said dont move now in a calm yet commanding voice once again she took scissors now the sound of scissors was not as loud she was only trimming the edges she separated layer after layer and trimmed them after doing the back. Then she came to my left side and unpinned those hair she tilted my head towards the right side and started trimming them and then she did the same on the right side then she started cutting face framing layers my hair length was now just above my boobs.

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