History of My Hair Fetish – 1993 to 1994

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This is a continuation of the experiences I have had with my hair fetish.  It is based on my best recollection of events long ago.  Although I have tried to keep it accurate, I have changed all names and suspect my memory is less than perfect and may over time have mixed up event and detail.
By the summer I finished grade 10 my attraction to girls with short hair was firmly established.  My relationship with Sarah (the first girl and dated with short hair – and the first girl I had loved) was over.  She went off to camp for the summer and we broke up shortly before.  At the time it barely phased me.  Looking back, I cannot understand why that was.

I stayed in the city for the summer.  It was a time when I had the energy to hang out with friends every night and make it to work the next morning and function.  It seemed like there was a different party every night that summer.  Whether it was at someone’s house whose parents were out of town or hanging out by a camp fire at a park, there was always something going on.  These parties made for a great place to meet girls.  Finding someone to hook up with came easy in that surrounding.  During the summer I did not experience anything serious.  No real relationships and no girls with short hair.

Most girls had long hair.  To this day I consider long hair being anything below chin length.  Any shorter than that begins to catch my eye.  I do not think of a bob as short hair.  Short hair is above the ears in my opinion.  That is when something just comes over and I am attracted almost irrationally (if we are to assume attraction is ever rational).  As time went on I found that for me, if a girl had short hair, nothing else in terms of appearance matters much.

My memory of this time period is not perfect, but I know at the end of the summer I hooked up with a girl who was from another school.  I really do not recall exactly what she looked like, but know she had shoulder length hair and was tall.  I am no giant, so tall girls have never really been my thing.  Our time together did not last long and we certainly did not go as far as I thought I would get with a girl going into grade 12.  When I got sick of making out with her (for the life of me I cannot remember her name), I moved on.  I knew I wanted to find another girl with short hair.

Casie was a talkative full figured girl who I had gone to school with since the beginning of junior high. She was funny and well liked in the group of friends that we both hung out with.  She was not really heavy, but she filled out over the years in a way that put her on the chubby side.  At this risk of sounding like an immature pig (which I guess I kind of was), I always had a thing for her well endowed chest.  This was the first thing you noticed on Casie and there was no hiding them.  She had brown hair that was below her shoulders.  It was fine and straight.  Some time in grade 10 she bleached her hair light blonde.  I liked it, but do not think I ever said anything.  When I saw her over the summer, Casie had cut her hair above her shoulders.  I remember telling her I liked it and getting the look from her that showed she suspected I was flirting with her. I guess I was.

A few weeks after school resumed I saw Casie at a party.  The second I saw her I noticed that her hair was now shorter.  It was at her chin and all one length.  From the moment I saw her I was interested.  As usual, I dedicated all of my efforts to hiding my fixation for short hair.  I tried to catch glances at her while talking to other people.  I made an effort to position myself close to her so I could look at her and get her attention, without looking like I was trying to.  As I got closer I could see that her hair in the back was even at her hairline.  I could see that the hair on her neck was trimmed to make her hairline even, although the hair was already growing in a bit.  Her brown roots were showing a bit on top, which also looked sexy to me.

I decided that I was not going to approach her and wait until she starts talking to me.  It seemed like forever as I tried to be somewhere where she would notice me.  Casie finally came up to me and asked me about the place I worked over the summer.  She knew where I was working and told me all about her grade 11 classes.  The whole time I was quiet and tried not to stare or show my new-found attraction. After a few minutes there was a pause in the conversation and our eyes met.  She could tell that I was checking her out.  I was a little embarrassed, but was kind of happy as well, as I could tell she was into it too.

“Did you notice my hair”, she asked.  This came out of nowhere and made me self conscious, as I thought she could tell I was checking out her hair.  Looking back, she probably did not sense me checking out her hair, but was just trying to start a more personal topic of conversation.  Either way, it got my attention and got me more worked up.

As I reflect back, I see that this was also me starting to hide my hair fetish, which I do to this day.  I know hiding in the closest is not really good for one’s overall self-esteem, but I kind of like the feeling.  It makes the fetish more exciting. I also like the challenge of having things out of reach.  Oh well, I am who I am.

Let me get back to the fall of 1993…  In response to Casie’s comment, I smiled and said that I had noticed.  “It’s too short, isn’t it”, she said.  I told her I like it that way.  She blushed and kind of looked away.  She could not tell if I meant what I said.  “Do you like it?”, I asked.  She said that she did and how she was thinking about short hair, but her stylist has told her to do it gradually.  “So what is next?”, I asked with a grin.  I was hoping that she would give me a real answer, as I knew I could not ask another question about her hair without sounding obsessed.

“I have a plan with my stylist.  The next cut will go a bit shorter in the back, right below my ears on the sides and be thinned out and tappers in the back.  If I like that, she will go even shorter and I might even try a pixie cut”. I smiled again and told her that she would look great with short hair.  “Do you mean it”, she asked. “I really do”, I responded.  I was totally turned on at this point and was making eye contact with her.  Before I knew it, I starting to walk outside of the house with her.  We went into the backyard of the house where the party was happening and found a corner.  This is where I kissed her for the first time.

She was certainly into it.  I was too.  As I held her neck I slowly moved my hand higher towards her hairline.  I could feel the prickly hairs right below the hairline.  It drove me wild and reminded me of kissing Sarah after she got her hair cut.  I loved the sharp, spiky feel of the prickly little hairs on her neck.  I moved my hand higher and very slowing ran my figures up her nape as we kissed. She got more and more into it and started pushing her body towards me.  As tempted as I was, I knew better than to move too quickly, even if she wanted to.  Rushing things takes the fun out of it anyhow.

Casie asked if we should try to find somewhere alone inside the house.  I told her we should probably keep it classy, as we were at a friend’s party.  She understood and felt a bit embarrassed.  I knew I had her at this point.  We kissed some more and talked for the rest of the night.  We made plans for the next weekend.  I left the party with the friends I came with and had Casie on my mind.  I was thinking how many days to give it before I called her.

Casie was the one to call me.  We ended up hanging out a bunch of times and taking things slowly. We did not spend too much time with one another and were both content with how things were going.  It was not a relationship like what I had with Sarah.  It was more fun and less emotional.  I liked Casie’s personality and found her very entertaining.  We got along with each others friends, so hanging out together was fun.

Some time in the later fall when I met Casie at school I noticed she touched up her roots.  I commented on it to show that I noticed.  She then starting telling me about how she was not sure if she wanted to stay blonde and how it was such a pain to maintain.  I told her that I liked it blonde, but she should do what she wants. Just talking about her hair got me worked up and our relationship progressed that night.  I was really into her body, even through she was a little bigger than many girls.  I liked it.  Having a few extra pounds made her body feel amazing.

We were hanging out near the end of November (there about) at Casie’s place.  Her parents were not home and we were watching TV on the couch and I was giving her a back rub. Casie commented that she wanted to cut her hair again soon. It had probably been over two months since her last cut and her hair had grown out quite a bit.  The hair on her nape had grown in and was no longer prickly feeling.  Her hair was getting a bit thicker and longer, but it still looked good.  I asked if she was sticking with her plan.  She smiled and seemed surprised that I remembered.  “Should I”, she asked.

I asked what the plan was again, pretending to forget the details.  I loved hearing her talk about her hair, so I may have conveniently forgot what she told me earlier.  She then explained how she has wanted to try short hair and since her last cut has wanted to go shorter.  She said that she was annoyed that her stylist convinced her not to cut off too much the last cut and that short hair would have been fun and convenient for the summer.  She said that since she cut her hair during the summer she has been seeing girls with short hair and has felt jealous.

I just smiled as she explained.  Like usual, I was afraid to say too much and sound weird.  I asked what type of styles she liked on other girls that she saw.  She described pixie cuts or short wedge styles that were really short hair, not what she now had.  I asked if her stylist would go that short and she immediately jumped in saying that she was worried about that and that she did not know if she had the right stylist for short hair.  What I really wanted to do was suggest the stylist who Sarah went to, but I would never have the courage to do that.  Without me saying anything, Casie started talking about finding another stylist who was not afraid to chop.  I asked if she had any ideas.  She mentioned that there was a salon at the mall were she worked were she always saw a stylist who had pretty short hair.  She thought maybe to check her out but was a little afraid that she would cut off too much.

“What is the worst that could happen?”, I asked.  “What if she cuts off too much?  Would you still find me attractive if my hair was like a boy’s?  What is if I hate it?”  She was still in front of me as I was rubbing her back.  I started kissing the back of her neck, held her and said,  “I think you would look great with short hair and with features like your, you could never look like a boy.  You would look great no matter what.  Even if you do not like it, it is hair – it grows back”.  “Do you mean it?  Do you think I could pull off really short hair?”, she asked.  “Why not”, I said and we started kissing.  I was picturing her bleached blonde hair cut into a short pixie style.  The thought drove me wild. The feeling I had with Sarah, the feeling that was an unexplained passion, returned.  It became all I could think about.

Casie and I were involved, but were not is a super close relationship.  We did not talk on the phone every night or even see each other every day at school.  A few days could go by without us seeing each other.  Since hearing that Casie was going to cut her hair, I had to find a way to see her every day.  I would get an excited feeling every time I would approach where her locker was in anticipation of seeing Casie and her short hair.  Each day was a disappointment when I would see had had not gone to get it cut.  I was afraid to ask again, as I did not want her to think I was obsessed (even through I was).  The week passed by and she had not mentioned anything about her hair.  When we saw each other on the weekend we were with other friends.  We were not alone, so I never got to raise the subject of her hair.  I was proud of myself for staying silent and not being “weird” about her hair.

Not long after Casie showed up at school with her hair a little shorter and her roots touched up.  She had lots of layers in the front and the sides thinned out with layers.  Some of the layers were pretty short, but the length was only a bit shorter.  Her hair still covered her ears, although the sides were thinned out in a way that was more layered and no longer a bob style.The length in the back was about the same but her hair was cleaned up a bit.  I noticed that her nape had not been trimmed this time. The cut was cute, but was kind of a let down for me.

“What do you think?”, Casie asked.  “I still recognized you.  It looks great.”  I did not have too much enthusiasm in my voice, but that was a typical reaction for most guys when confronted with a question like that. “I was thinking about doing something drastic, but my stylist [her usual stylist, not the one from the salon in the mall] thought we should take it gradually and explained that it would be a shame to cut off such nice hair.  “You sound disappointed”, I observed.  “A bit.  I kind of got up the courage to do something different, so it is a bit of a let down.  I am kind of relieved, you probably would have hated it short. All guys do.”  I smiled and told her I would still think she looks great with short hair.  I asked why she did not go to the stylist in the mall and she just said that she chickened out.  I left it at that.

Well I cannot recall why, but we kind of parted around that time and I hooked up with another girl around Christmas.  It did not last long and I cannot remember any hair related topics with this not so significant encounter.

In the middle of winter Casie and I started hanging out again and not long after the physical aspect of our relationship returned.  Casie’s hair was more or less the same over this period.  A while after we started spending time together, Casie mentioned her hair and how it was annoying her.  I asked what happened to her plans for short hair.  Again, she seemed surprised that I remembered.  She told me that she still has the urge and is so sick of her current hair.  “Is your stylist still refusing to chop it?”, I asked. “She is.  It is like she is afraid to do it”.  “Maybe it is time for a new stylist”, I responded.  Right after I said this, my heart sank in fear that I said too much and the whole hair thing would become weird.  I was hoping the comment would pass and promised myself I would stop taking about hair with her.

To my relief, Casie explained how she was thinking this and how she did not even like the woman she goes to.  She then started talking about stylists who would be more daring and know how to cut short hair.  After the embarrassment from my last comment I said very little. After that conversation, I was really into Casie and could not wait to be alone with her.  She detected my interest, but probably did not know why.

A few weeks later my patience was rewarded when I turned into the hall where Casie’s locker was and caught a glance of her.  It took a moment to recognize that it was Casie.  Her hair was cut into a longish pixie.  It was thinned out all over and wispy on the sides as it fell just over the middle of her ears.  It was thin enough to expose her ears and reveal most of her neck.  Some length was left in the back, but it was thinned out in a way that showed the shape of her head.  The front was left long and parted in a way that hair still framed her face.  It was cute on her, but did not really suit the shape of her face, which was pretty roundish.  Looking back, it was what I would now call a soccer mom cut on a sixteen year old.  Casie’s roots also showed more, as she had not dyed her hair again.

As I approached her, she saw my smile and asked if I like it.  As if it was no big deal I said it looks great and wanted to know if she wanted to come over after school.  She said yes and I told her I had to get to class.  It took all I had to say nothing more about her hair, but I wanted to hide the fact that it meant so much to me.  The rest of the day was spent thinking about Casie’s hair, getting excited to see her again and thinking what I would say when I saw her.  The day seemed to go on for ever.

We met after school and walked to my house.  I was not sure whether to bring up her hair on the walk home.  After thinking it was weird to not say anything about it I asked Casie if she went to the stylist in the mall or if she went back to her old stylist.  She immediately asked if I hated her hair.  I assured her it looked good and that I think short hair suits her.  She then explained that she went into the salon in the mall and asked for the stylist with the pixie short hair.  She found out her name was Kelly and she was already with a client, but had an opening in 45 minutes.  Casie decided to wait and saw Kelly finishing up with a woman in her 20s with longish blonde wavy hair.  Kelly was blowing it out and made her hair look great.  Kelly’s next client was a woman in her 30s with short hair.  Casie watched as Kelly did her work.  It made her nervous, as she saw Kelly use the clippers on this woman.

Kelly was finished her work on this woman within 25 minutes.  She went up to Casie and introduced herself.  She started talking to Kelly and explained that she wanted shorter hair, but was afraid to go too short.  Kelly smiled and listened. After Casie finished describing what she wanted, Kelly explained some different options and explained the pros and cons of each.  Kelly flat out told Casie that because her figure was on the full side, bobs and longish shorter styles may frame her face in a way that makes it look fuller.  She explained that if Casie wanted something short but not too short, she would have to thin her hair out and give it texture.  Kelly explained that very short hair would suit Casie’s face shape, but she was not sure if Casie was ready for very short hair.  Casie was nervous and Kelly could see it.  Casie asked about maintenance and Kelly explained that a lot of shorter styles are not easier to maintain.  She told Casie that usually hair does not become much easier until it is above the ears.  Before going that short, it is still a lot of work.

Casie told Kelly that she wanted low maintenance hair, but wanted to keep some length. Kelly told her that most of her clients feel that way at first.  It is a good transition to short hair, but it does not work for everyone.  Some women do not like short hair or get freaked out by their boyfriends or partners not liking short hair.  Others realize if it is going to be short, why bother with the extra length that still gets in the way and grows out awkwardly.  The in between length does not suit many people”.  “It is just so sudden for me”, Casie responded.  Kelly understood and suggested a longish pixie that still left hair framing her face and long layers all around. This calmed Casie down and she agreed to take the partial plunge.

I did not get the details of the actual cut and was too afraid to ask questions if she did not volunteer the information.  Casie mentioned that she was scared when she felt clippers in the back.  Kelly assured her that she was just cleaning it up a little and that was it.  Kelly explained how she uses clippers on many of her clients to give neat fades in the back, but she was keeping some length in the back for Casie.  I could barely tell that she used clippers, as her hair in the back still had enough length to cover her hairline.  The style was still an improvement to what Casie had before and was a serious turn on for me.  Most of the time when Casie was talking about her cut, I was just listening and waiting to hold her.  I asked if she would ever go shorter and Casie said she knows guys hate it, but she would love to have low maintenance hair that she did not have to deal with.

In response, I told her that I really did not hate it and thought this suited her.  She gave a doubtful look and a bit of a sarcastic smile.  I smiled back and told her that I mean it.  As my parents were not yet home and we had the house to ourselves, I went on to prove my feelings.  Out of respect, I will withhold the details of what happened next. Casie could certainly tell that something was different.  It was also clear that this, unlike words, was not something I could fake.

When we were lying together after I was behind her and running my fingers through her hair.  She could tell I was enjoying it.  She was as well.  “Okay, now I think I believe you that you do not hate my hair”, she said.  “I told you that.  I don’t lie”, I responded.  “I was so scared you would hate it and not want to be with me.”, she said nervously.  “Do you still think that?  I really like it.  Short hair is perfect for you.  It shows off your great features and you look feminine not matter what”, I said back.

This was true with Caise, as her full figure was very womanly.  To this day, I find short hair flattering on full figured women.  Many fear that it will may them look fat, but the right style does the opposite. Mid-length styles like bobs, often make faces look wide, but short short hair is often slimming with fuller or round face shapes.  A problem with short hair on women who are very skinny or tall is that it may not look very feminine.  With women who have bigger breasts, wider hips and fuller faces, femininity comes very naturally without regard to hair length.

Casie then said that if she knew she would like it this short she would have done it earlier.  I told her she should have and that she should do whatever she wants with her hair.  That made her feel good.  I hoped it was also a message that she should go even shorter.  She also said that a lot of the girls at school told her they liked her hair. I was surprised how insecure she was about all of it, but I loved every minute she talked about it.  Once again, I felt my passion for short hair in a way that I had not felt since I broke up with Sarah. We kissed some more and then had to get dressed as my parents would be getting home.

Time passed by and our relationship became closer.  I really cannot recall if we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but I remember that we always tried to play our relationship down,  I think this just had to do with trying to be cool at this age.  Casie’s hair started growing out and her roots got quite noticeable.  I kind of liked the look of her grown out dark roots with her bleached blonde hair.  I remember being with Casie when she was telling one of her friends that she is waiting until she goes to the stylist to get her hair cut again, so she can cut off the ends and not colour over the same hair that has been bleached over and over again.  She said that with shorter hair she can do this and totally fry her hair.  This was encouraging to me, as it made me think she was going to get her hair cut again.  As we were in front of other people, I pretended not to show any interest in her talking about her hair.

Not too long after (some time during the spring) Casie and I were hanging out on the weekend at Casie’s house.  Her parents were at their cottage, so it was just us.  As she was pushing her grown out hair off her face, she said,  “Kelly was right about my hair growing out.  It was okay for the first month or so, but it is driving me crazy now.  I can’t get it to look right and it is taking me more and more time in the morning.  I also hate it in my face.”  “It gets in my face too when we kiss”, I said with a smile.  “Well I can’t put it up like I used to.  I wish I could sometimes.”, she said in response.  Fearing that she was going to grow it out, I said, “Yeah, but you can cut it again.  Isn’t that what you are supposed to do with short hair”.

Casie agreed and said that she knows she has to go back, but she is scared because she does not know what to do.  She went on to explain that she has moments when she wants to go back and go shorter, but then she chickens out.  She is also afraid that Kelly will go too short and she will hate it.  “It looked good last time.  You were scared then and you looked great after.  You should trust Kelly.  It suits you.  It is sexy”, I said.  This was more than I had ever said to encourage a girlfriend to cut her hair.  I was scared after that she would think I was a freak.  She smiled back in a way that I could tell I had made her feel good and said,   “Fine, let’s go now before I chicken out again”.  “Are you serious?  Don’t you need an appointment?”, I asked.  “I did not have one last time.  I want you with me.  You give me confidence.”, she said in a sincere way.

Casie’s response really made me feel good and also excited the hell out of me.  I had never had this experience before and could barely believe it was happening.  The emotions running through my head were crazy.  I was excited, turned on beyond control and scared that I would show my true feelings in a way that Casie thought was creepy.  I knew I had to hold back my emotions and put every last ounce of effort into staying under control.  I was driving already but did not have a car, so Casie drove to the mall.  On our way, I asked if I have to stay with her and mentioned that as a guy it will be weird being in there.  She said that the salon has guys who go to it as well.  I stated that I would go in with her but would not stay.  Honestly, I knew that if I watched her get her hair cut I would have a very hard time keeping myself under control.  She said that I have to at least go in and be with her when she talks to Kelly.  “I want your opinion and you have to tell the truth.  Do not just say what you think I want to hear.  Do you promise?”, Casie asked.  I agreed.

The drive to the mall felt like a lifetime.  Thoughts were running through my head uncontrollably and I was getting more and more excited.  Part of my fetish is that the more I suppress my feelings, the stronger to feelings get.  I mean this in a good way, as the anticipation and wanting is one of the best parts.  It is not that different to being attracted to a woman and the feeling you get before you actually have physical contact.  In some ways, it is the best part.  As I looked at Casie on the drive, I saw that her bangs were falling into her eyes by now.  The layers over her ears were grown out and not sitting in a balanced way.  The length was close to the bottom of her ears and the length in the back was grown out and losing its shape.  Her roots were also probably close to an inch grown out.  I asked her if she was getting Kelly to colour her hair as well.  Casie said that she cannot afford to have it done professionally so she just does it herself.  She explained that she was waiting to get it cut fist and will probably do it this weekend, as her roots are looking pretty scanky by now.

When we got to the salon, it was not that busy.  It was already later in the day.  She asked if Kelly was around and if she had any time now.  The receptionist responded that Kelly was open and would try to find her.  I waited in anticipation at the front desk.  Before too long, I saw a woman who was probably in her late 20s with short brown hair.  I knew right away that this must have been Kelly.  Her hair was in tight curls (back when perms were still in style) and was trimmed in the back and on the sides.  It reminded me of the perm Sarah had, but it was a little longer on top and the sides had more length. In my mind I immediately pictured Casie with that style.

Casie greeted Kelly and commented on how she loved her new perm.  Kelly thanked her and told her it is fun and easy for the spring. After some small talk, Casie introduced me as her good friend who was here to give her the confidence to try something new.  Kelly smiled at me and said, “That is so sweet. Most guys would be begging their girlfriends not to cut their hair or just not care at all.  Do you think Casie could pull off a short style?”  I did not know what to say, so I just gave a typical male answer that I think Casie could pull off anything.  Then without thinking I blurted out that I thought really short hair would look great on Casie.  I blushed immediately and saw that Kelly picked up on the comment and said, “Wow.  ‘Really short’.  This is going to make things easy [as she smiled at Casie].  What is really short to you?”  I did not know what to say, so I said something shorter than what Casie has now and something that will show off Casie’s face.  Looking at Casie, Kelly said, “I like this guy.  Now you don’t have any excuses.  Are you ready?”

Nervously, Casie walked forward towards the chairs, gave a serious stare at me and said, “you are staying with me”.  I followed and stood there awkwardly as Casie got in the chair and Kelly started spraying her hair to wet it.  Kelly ran her fingers through Casie’s hair and said, “Look at all of this. It sure has grown out.  This is the problem with in between styles.  They are still lots of work everyday and they grow out into a mess.”  A little excited Casie said, “I know.  You warned me.  It was a little easier to manage at first, but it has been more work recently.  I also can’t stand it when it gets in my face.  I think I want something that is low maintenance and just out of the way”.  This was getting me excited, but I said nothing and tried not to even react.  Kelly started brushing of Casie’s hair and told her, “Well if you want something that low maintenance, you will be walking out of here a brunette. I am not sure if you are ready for that, but that is up to you. It will look great on you if you are ready to be brave.”

I knew what Kelly meant, but Casie did not even get it.  Casie asked how short she meant and Kelly held up her hair and said, “See all the blonde?  It will be on the floor.  Could you handle that?”  Casie shrugged and looking a bit scared said,  “That is a bit much.  I think I need to leave something to not look like a boy”.  “I understand if you want to leave more length, but you couldn’t look like a boy if you tried”, Kelly said.  “She is right”, I piped in. “What about something a bit less drastic”, Casie nervously said.  I could tell she was getting a little freaked out.

“Okay”, said Kelly.  “Here are three options if you want to go shorter.  First we trim the back to around an inch, leaving some length.  I will take it shorter over the sides, but leave enough length so it will cover part of your ears if you don’t brush it back.  We can leave the top with enough length that you have long bangs that frame your face. Option two will be about the same in the back, The sides will be trimmed over your ears and we will leave enough length on top that it is a few inches, but out of your face. It will still be very feminine, but lower maintenance.  The third option will be and shorter pixie, with the back trimmed scissors over comb near the the crown and a #4 guard near the nape.  We can leave the sides a bit longer so the tips of your hair will still have blonde, but we will still use clippers with a long guard to keep it even. I will leave enough hair on the top that it is still showing some blonde, but neat and off your face”.

Casie absorbed the options and asked Kelly what she thinks.  Kelly said she would say the second or third option is the way to go and the first option will grow out fast and still be quite a bit of maintenance.  She explained that if she wants the real benefits of short hair, she has to be prepared to give up some length.  Casie looked at me and asked what I think.”If you don’t like the cut, how long will it take for the third option to grow into the second option?”, I asked. Kelly smiled, knowing where I was going, and stated that the difference will be one month. Kelly added that if she can always come back in a month if she wanted to go shorter.  “Well I’m here now.  How would you do my sideburns if you went with the really short option?” Casie asked.  At this time I knew she was actually doing it and I could barely hide my excitement.  Kelly explained that she would leave them with a bit of length and let them kind of be pointy, not evenly clipped.

“That is what I want”, Casie blurted out with some apprehension.  “If I do this, you are staying right here with me.  I need you here.”, she said to me.  “If you really want me to, I will stay right here.”  By this time, Kelly was already taking out hair clips and pinning up Casie’s hair.  Kelly started brushing out the hair in the back, and brushing out an even line a bit below the top of her ears.  She then took out clippers and I saw Casie’s face look frightened.  Kelly placed the guard on the clippers and started shearing of the length over the comb she was using.  Within one minute she was running the clippers with the guard over Casie’s nape to even it out.  All of Casie’s hair in this newly cut area was her natural brown colour, as all of the blonde hair was on the floor.  I was trying to take all of this in, while not showing any pleasure.  I do not know if anyone was able to tell that this was a fantasy for me. Looking back, I am pretty sure Kelly knew I was liking it.

Kelly then started brushing out more of Casie’s hair and removed some of the hair clips.  Kelly brushed out the sides and the remaining hair in the back so all that remained neatly pinned up was the long hair on top.  Kelly spent considerable ensuring that what she was combing out was even all around.  She then adjusted the guard on the clippers and turned them on getting to work on the right side of Casie’s hair, again running the clippers over the sections she lifted with a comb and removing all of the length down to about an inch, if not less.  Kelly worked her way around Casie’s head until she got to the left side, still removing the length over the comb.  She had not yet evened it out yet, so Caise’s hair on the sides was two toned with blonde patches remaining and certain areas now her natural brown.  Kelly mentioned that to get the colour evened out, she recommends evening out her hair with a slightly shorter guard.  Casie seemed a bit concerned, but told her to go for it.  I could not believe that her hair would be even shorter than it was now.  I was trying to control my breathing and was keeping quiet.

As Kelly ran the clippers over the sides and back, I could see the little hairs falling and watched as the length was evened out.  The blonde was pretty much gone from the sides, except for a few remaining tips.  As Kelly did her work she was saying how much easier it would be and how so many of her clients never go back to long hair. I was hoping Casie would keep her hair this short, but said nothing.  Kelly finished with cleaning up the sides and then started her work on top.  Kelly asked Casie if she was sure she did not want to cut off all the blonde and start with all natural hair.  She said that all it would take was medium guard all over and it would look like a very short crop, but not a buzz cut.  Casie said that she was sure she wanted to keep more length on top and thought that this was enough of a shock for now.

The cut proceeded with Kelly slowly brushing out small sections off the crown and cutting the hairs between her fingers.  The sections of blonde hair looked long in contrast to the trimmed brown hair on the sides and back.  This process took longer, as Kelly took the time to ensure the hair was the right length and still had some texture to it.  As she kept trimming she talked to Casie about styling her hair and products she could use.  Casie started to relax as the last of the longer hairs were brushed out.  I could now see the way the cut would look and I loved it. Kelly continued to trim the hair on top to get the length right.  She then slowly worked to get the length of her wispy sideburns perfect, leaving enough so it could come to a point with a touch of length.

When I thought the cut was over, Kelly took out the clippers again and removed the guard.  She then started cleaning in up in the back, shaving off all of the little hairs around Casie neck.  She evened out the back and asked about a fade around the bottom, explaining how she could take it shorter around the bottom to blend it in.  Casie, who had lost enough hair for one day suggested that this was okay for now.  Kelly finished up with the clippers, put a bit of product in Casie’s hair, brushed it straight so it was flat and said that she was done.

“What do you think?’, Kelly asked.  Casie honestly responded that she was not sure and would need for time to get over the shock.  Kelly looked at me and said, “Be honest.  Do you like it?”.  I paused, looked at Casie and said, “I thought you would look good with hair this short, but [pausing again] this is way way better than I had even imagined.  It is perfect on you.”  “You don’t think it is too short?”, Casie asked.  “Not at all.  I like your natural colour as well”, I said, even though there was still top blonde on top.  Kelly asked if Casie was going to keep it blonde and said that by the next cut, she could probably go completely natural.  Casie said that she was not sure yet.

On the drive home, Casie was quiet, which was unusual for her, and kept looking at herself in the mirror.  I could tell she was not sure about her new look.  I did not want to say too much and really just wanted to get back to Casie’s house were we had the place to ourselves.  Her parents were out of town so I was hoping to be able to stay the night.  My physical urges were ready to burst, but I knew I could not show it.  I asked about what the plan was for the evening.  Casie said that she had mentioned to a few friends that she had the place to herself and they were welcome to come over.  She said I should hang out with them and stay over after.  This is what I wanted to hear, but knew I could not bear to wait that long to be with Casie.  Casie said she was hungry so we stopped to eat on the way home.  I remember having no appetite (which is not like me), because I was so excited.  I tried not to talk about her hair over dinner, as I knew this would only make me more excited.  I am sure I could not help but stare.

We got back to Casie’s house and I stared at Casie and gave a look that she recognized.  There are details that I remember about what happened next that I will not share out of respect and decency.  We did go up to her room and I showed my attraction to her and her new look.  She had not gone all the way before and I was not going to push it until she wanted to.  We did however have fun and enjoyed having the house to ourselves.  As I was holding her after without very much clothes getting in the way she could still feel my attraction.  We talked about her hair briefly and she said she thought she would like it.  She knew by now that I really did.  I said that I now wish she had cut it really short sooner.  She agreed.

Not long after two or three of her friends who were girls came over to hang out. They all freaked out when they saw her hair and were super supportive of the new cut.  It was like reliving the fantasy, as she gave them the details of the cut. I just sat there and pretended not to be very interested.  Her friend Tanya got my interest when she said that she was dying to cut her hair really short, but was afraid it would look awful.  Tanya said that her boyfriend had told her he likes long hair and did not think he would be attracted to a girl with short hair.  Casie mentioned that I liked it and I said I did.  They all told me how sweet that was.  Tanya said, jokingly, that I should talk to her boyfriend and Casie made a comment about how it is better when we are intimate when hair does not get in the way.  I was so embarrassed that I could not say anything, but I could tell that Casie meant it.  The discussion continued with them asking Casie if she was going to stay blonde and Casie said that she probably would, as she thought blonde suited her better.

I remember the rest of the evening with her friends being fun.  Her friends left early and we had the place to ourselves.  It was a night that I still remember.  After some encouragement, Casie let down her guard and agreed to shower with me.  I remember how nervous and self conscious she was at first, but after a few minutes she was into it and enjoyed having her cropped hair washed.  It could not have been better for me.

Our relationship had changed because of the attraction I now had and it became more serious.  Casie liked this and wanted to spend more time together.  This worked for me and we became a real couple.  I was excited to go to school every day just to see Casie. I counted down the days until weekends when her parents went to the cottage and I could stay over.  We had far more alone time than I had ever had with Sarah.  It was more like an adult relationship in terms of being together and not sneaking around.

As an aside, Sarah and I were still friendly at school, although we were in very different social circles.  By the spring of grade 11, Sarah’s hair was grown out into a long shag / layered bob style that in my opinion did not really suit her.  It looked stringy and surrounded her face in an unflattering way.  Although our time together was over, I still hoped to see her again with her hair cut very short like it was when we were together.  In one conversation, I brought up the fact that I could see she was growing out her hair.  I asked if she liked it better and she said she wanted it long, but it is a constant battle with her mother who still encourages her to keep in short.  I wanted to tell her that she should listen to her mom, but I just lied and told her that I thought she looked good.  I bet she knew me well enough to know that I did not mean it.

Within a few weeks of Casie getting her hair cut, she asked if I thought she should go back to blonde.  Because she chopped off so much dead hair her hair was no longer fried so she was not afraid to bleach it again.  Casie still had some blonde on top, but the rest had been cut out and she was mostly left with her natural brown.  I gave my usual vague and noncommittal answers.  In the end, I hinted that blonde suited her better, but thought she looked great either way.  It was the weekend and again Casie’s parents were at the cottage.  That afternoon she had one of her friends come over and when I saw her that evening, I had a blonde girlfriend once again.  The colour was not quite as bleached and had a bit of orange in it.  It was perfect for her short hair and brought even more attention to her.  When we went out that night, she got many comments and I could tell she was getting noticed more. She liked it.

The whole night out all I wanted to do was get back home and be with Casie.  I could hardly concentrate and could not keep my hands off her.  Normally this super attraction stage happens at the beginning of a relationship, but it happened with me several months into the relationship.  To this day, I do not know if Casie put together that it happened when she cut her hair very short. When we got back to her house, I could barely control myself and Casie liked that.  Casie’s really short blonde hair drove me wild and was a total turn on for me. We had another memorable night together.  These are the memories that remain ingrained in me and are the times that were most exciting for my fetish.  They also shaped my passion for short hair to this day.

As the spring of grade 11 went by and the school year came to an end, Casie and I were still going strong.  We got along well and enjoyed the physical side of our relationship.  By the beginning of the summer her hair was starting to grow out and was getting bushy on the sides.  Around her neck was also uneven and needed to be cleaned up. Other than that, the cut was short enough that it held up for about two months before it really started to grow out.  I have wanted to suggest to Casie that she gets it cut again, but never was brave enough to do so.

One night when we were together, I was playing with her hair and mentioned that it had grown a lot.  I think I had made passing comments before, but Casie had not responded so I dropped the subject. This time she responded and said that she was just thinking that she needed it cut again. She said it was starting to annoy her and look uneven.  I asked if she was going go keep it short and she said she liked it, but was afraid that if she went back to Kelly, she would cut it even shorter.  For the first time I got up the nerve to actually say what I thought and responded by asking, “what is wrong with that?”  Casie responded that she thought it was a bit short last time, but loved how easy it was.  She explained that since her cut she had barely gone through any of her shampoo, where she used to have to buy a bottle every month or so.  She also said that since the cut she has not picked up a brush.   “So do you think you will grow it out”, I asked. She said that she might keep it short for the summer.  I smiled and said that I liked how she looked no matter what.  I guess that might not have been entirely true.

A few weeks passed and Casie had still not cut her hair.  It was getting bushier all over and quite uneven around her neck.  Her roots were also growing out.  It really was starting to look quite shaggy, but I kept silent.  I know now that with short hair, to keep it looking good, it needs to at least be trimmed every four to six weeks, depending on the style.  Casie must have gone for over three months.  Although it was not looking as good, it was still short, so I liked it.  One day after work Casie called to make plans.  After we agreed to meet she told me she had a surprise for me.

On my way over to Casie’s house I was obsessed with the surprise.  I was hoping that she cut her hair again and was convincing myself that this was the case.  I was playing through in my head what my reaction would be.  I got to her house and knocked.  It felt like forever before she came to the door.  When I first saw Casie, I felt a feeling of relief, as I knew I would not have to hide my feelings.  I then felt a disappointment, as I saw that her hair had not changed.  The feeling was weird, as I just felt all of the adrenaline leave my body.  She was wearing a robe and had me come insider.  She closed the door and led me into a room where she took off her robe and showed off her surprise, a new tight fitting lingerie that she bought at the mall.  She was excited to show it off for me and I knew I had to look excited back.  It was hard for me, as I was totally let down and as a result not really in the mood.  I felt bad, as I suspected she would catch on.

It was a night where I was distracted and could not even tell Casie why.  I was mad at myself too, as I knew this was wrong of me and realized that hair did not mean anywhere near as much to Casie as it did for me.  This was a time when I knew I had a fetish and was ashamed of it.  I felt like a freak and could not even talk about it with anyone.  I had to be fake that night and not show any let down.  Casie still looked good and her hair was by no means long, but I then realized that the Casie with short hair who I was attracted to might soon be finished with short hair.  I promised myself that I would not bring up her hair again.

A while after school started again, I broke my promise and asked Casie about her hair.  Her bangs were already to her eyebrows and it was getting longer all over.  I was playing with her hair, like I always did and asked if she was growing it out.  I was nervous to ask the question, but had wanted to ask it every day for ages.  Casie explained that she was not sure and keeps going back and forth.  She told me that she had thought to go back to Kelly but then has second thoughts and misses her hair.  She said that it was looking awful now and she hated dealing with it, bit thought it may be best to grow it out, as cutting it would just start this cycle all over again.  She told me that she may just go back to her old stylist to get it cleaned up a bit so it would grow out without being so puffy.

Hearing this devastated me, but I (like usual) suppressed my feelings and just responded that she should do whatever she thinks is best.  She responded by saying that she knows I like it short on her.  Lying, I responded that I think it looks great both ways. This was my typical response and the way I have and still do hide and deny my fetish.  A few weeks later I barely noticed when Casie got a trim.  I think she returned to her old stylist who thinned out the sides a bit and may have trimmed the back, although I could barely tell.

By October, Casie and I were drifting apart and our relationship was gradually becoming less about attraction and more about obligation.  I think the feeling was mutual, but we still both liked one another and did not want to be the one to break it off.  I recall eying other girls at school and wanting to be single again.  We spent less time together and were both waiting for the other to break it off.  This finally happened around November when Casie had the nerve to bring it up.  On a positive note, we remained friends and really had not hard feelings. Within a few weeks, Casie was dating a guy from another school and seemed very happy.  I was happy for her.

Around this time, I remember talking to Sarah at school.  She was also single again and we had a meaningful discussion about our lives and dating. By this time, Sarah’s hair was close to neck length.  It was naturally thin and wavy.  It really did not suit her at all.  I wanted to say something, but knew it would just be weird.  My attraction for the present Sarah was minimal.  This made me realize that was the attraction was based upon was more her hair than anything else.  This realization of my fetish troubled me, but at the same time I realized that I am who I am and could not change it.

This finishes another chapter of the history of my hair fetish.  I hope to continue with the history and how my hair fetish evolved.

4 responses to “History of My Hair Fetish – 1993 to 1994

  1. Great story – brilliantly written – reminds me very much of my own ‘journey’, the similarities are remarkable, so much so that I could really feel the highs, lows, angst, frustration. Please keep writing.

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