Lamine
I knew the moment Sister Olivia walked into the classroom and looked at me that everything had been revealed. I began to tremble when, at the end, before the bell rang, she turned to me and said in a loud and serious voice:
-Miss Melissa. You will not have recess today. The Mother Superior is waiting for you in her office. Go immediately.
-Yes, Sister.- I answered, getting up from my chair. Fear began to take hold of me. All the students were looking at me. I stood up proudly and headed for the door. Before leaving, Sister Olivia said in a cold voice:
-I wish you a pleasant afternoon, Miss.
Without turning around, I walked out the door and through the long corridors of the convent, heading for the Mother Superior’s office. I tried to calm myself down so I could face that stern woman.
When I got to the door, I knocked a few times and a voice told me to come in. I did so and was surprised to discover the scene that was taking place in the room: The Mother Superior was carefully soaping Jane’s head. Well, it had been months since anyone had called her by her real name. Since the Mother Superior had punished her, Jane had been known by the nicknames of the bald head, the cueball or the light bulb, as a cruel joke by the students of the institution. For 4 months Jane had been punished to have her head completely shaved, and every two or three days, and sometimes every day, during recess, she was religiously called to the office from where she would emerge covered in a sea of tears and with her head very white and shiny. She was the laughing stock of everyone, especially because a long time ago she had boasted of a striking blonde mane that reached her waist and of which there was no trace left.
Jane was sitting very straight and serious on a stool in front of a huge mirror. A white handkerchief covered her almost completely. Her head was covered in a thick layer of foam and the Sister Superior, with a huge brush, was vigorously lathering her while she prepared to shave her thoroughly with a very sharp razor. Before starting, she said to me without looking at me:
-Miss Addams, sit there- And she pointed to a stool in front of Jane. Sister Louis, the Mother Superior’s right hand, was present, helping her with the task. I sat down.
-Jane, you know: Don’t take your eyes off the mirror. And no crying this time. Is that clear?
-SSsssss, Sister…Of course…
Jane had a huge mirror standing right in front of her, next to where I had sat, and she stared at it, pale, trying to maintain her composure. The Sister Superior began to shave her with relish. I felt a shiver as I watched the scene. No one spoke. The Mother Superior looked at me from time to time and my blood ran cold. Jane looked at herself pitifully in the mirror, perhaps trying to remember that dreamlike head of hair she once wore. No one knew how long her harsh punishment would last. Many of us thought it was excessive, even some teachers, but the decisions of the Mother Superior were unquestionable.
The Mother Superior moved Jane’s head from one side to the other to facilitate a close shave. When she finished, to my amazement, she soaped her head again, meticulously, and began the second shave of the afternoon. Poor Jane could not have been more humiliated. On one occasion, she looked away at me, imploring some kind of help that I could not give her, but the Sister Superior noticed:
-Jane, do not tempt fate…
And staring again at the mirror, she apologized. She had her completely under control.
Once she was done, she soaked a towel in a pasty wax, and with the help of Sister Louis, began to rub it on poor Jane’s head, who remained motionless. I soon realized that this woman’s cruelty knew no bounds: She was waxing her head to make it shinier and brighter, to make it look even balder if that was even possible.
When they finished waxing, the superior, checking her work, said to me:
-What do you think of Jane’s haircut, Miss Addams?
I didn’t know what to say, she caught me off guard.
-I…I…Well…
-You don’t like it? You don’t think it looks…flattering on you?
-No. I don’t think so, Mother Superior…
-So you don’t like it…Interesting…Jane, you can get up and take Melissa’s seat. Melissa, sit here in front of the mirror…
NO! My God, what were you going to do to me? I slowly stood up, gave my seat to Jane and sat carefully in her place. I didn’t want to think about what she was going to do to me…
The Sister Superior unfolded the white scarf and tied it around my neck. She also covered me completely. The only light that filtered through the window shone directly on me.
-Okay Melissa. This is going to work like this. You know something that I want to know and I’m going to give you several chances to tell me. Only each time you do that, you’re going to lose some of your wonderful hair. I suggest you speak now, the sooner the better.
-I don’t know what she means…
She smiled evilly and taking a huge pair of scissors said:
-That answer has earned a good chunk of your hair… Help me, Sister Louis.
They took the rubber bands out of my ponytail and began to unravel each of my locks and arrange them around the cape. The sister superior, with a snip, made at least 8 centimeters of each lock disappear. She cut and cut without any care and I began to turn pale and tremble… MY hair… NO!!! my beautiful hair!!! When everything was equal, I had gone from a mane that reached halfway down my back to an irregular and horrible mane above my shoulder, a very considerable cut…
-So… Are you going to tell me what I’m waiting to hear?
I wasn’t going to do it. I wasn’t going to give him away and I never would. At the girls’ school this was the worst punishment they could give us, but I knew that at the boys’ school they inflicted corporal punishment and I wasn’t going to let anyone touch her. I was trapped and lost, but the thought of ending up like Jane was inconceivable.
“I don’t know what you mean, Sister Superior.”
“Well, this second answer has earned me a rigorous cut. Sister Louis, take those scissors and help me. Hurry until the scissors can’t pick up any more hair. Melissa, keep looking at yourself in the mirror.”
The world fell at my feet as I watched Mother Superior cut my locks from almost the beginning and Sister Louis did the same on the other side of my head. The hair fell outrageously and piled up on the floor or Sister Superior left it on my knees so I could see it. I wanted to cry, I couldn’t hold back my tears, and I sobbed when I saw how I was looking: Not even the boys from Saint Peter had a cut as close as the one they were giving me, the scissors barely left a centimeter of hair everywhere on my head…
-Crying is forbidden during this punishment. Jane, tell Melissa what happens if you ever cry or stop looking at yourself in the mirror when we’re shaving your hair.
-It happens that your punishment increases by one more month.
-And…what else?
-They shave you down to your eyebrows.
I remembered that once Jane went 2 months without eyebrows too. They told me it was because she rebelled one afternoon. Without eyebrows the effect of shaving looked considerably worse. It was at that time when they started calling her cueball.
I stopped crying immediately.
-You’ve been warned. Very well… Look at yourself… Do you like your new haircut, Melissa?
-I…No…Stop, please…
-I will stop the moment you tell me who you ran away with the other night through the garden gate.
-I can’t do it, sister. I’m not going to do it.
-Then you know what awaits you: being Jane’s substitute in this punishment.
-No! Please! I’m already punished enough! Look what you’ve done to me! I look horrible!
-No, dear, you’re not completely punished yet…Bow your head down but keep looking at yourself in the mirror, and don’t move!!
With a spray of water, the mother superior began to soak my hair, or what was left of it, with water and ruffle my hair so that no strand is free of moisture.
-Can… can you be less rough, please, you’re moving my head from side to side.
-Be thankful that I’m not going to dry shave you.
-Shave??
My eyes widened as I saw the mother take the razor she used on Jane and apply it to my neck. She made slow, long strokes and I didn’t want to even imagine what my head was looking like from behind. The horror came when she applied the razor to my forehead and, mercilessly shaving me, added:
-If you were hoping to see yourself with some hair to comb, go away…I didn’t speak. I didn’t move. She threatened to shave me and so she did. Jane looked at me horrified, I didn’t take my eyes off the mirror. When my head was completely smooth, the superior sister caressed it ironically.
-Jane, you are freed from your punishment, you already have a substitute. Melissa, it’s going to be very interesting to break you and make you talk…we have the whole course for that…You can go.
I knew it would be a hard year, where I would have to measure my strength, my will, my pride and my love. But I was ready.
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