My Hair Fetish History (1995 to 1999)

Story Categories:

Story Tags:

Views: 4,142 | Likes: +21

Well this chapter is somewhat less exciting, but that is the case with reality. My last account ended near the beginning of my final year of high school.  My on and off relationship with Casie had ended.  She was dating another guy before I knew it and I was happy for her.  We remained friends and my attraction for her disappeared as soon as she grew out her hair.  This actually made being friends easier.

As the school year went on, I think I had a few casual encounters that were not memorable.  They did not involve females with short hair.  I recall however still being attracted to any girl at school who had hair shorter than chin length.  This led to impulses that may not have been entirely rational, as I was attracted to one thing above all other aspects.  This is obviously not a good way to get into a relationship.  I already knew it, but there was little I could do about it.

I still recall being with girls with longer hair and fantasizing about short hair when I was with them.  I think this is how I was able to function in a normal way when intimate with girls with longer hair.  As time went on this “coping mechanism” became a critical way that I could conceal my fetish and not let it completely control my relationships.

In the late fall of grade 12, a girl from my high school who I did not know very well got my attention when she cut her hair from shoulder length to a longish pixie.  Her name was Susan and she was rather plain looking in my opinion.  She was a little taller than average, had a decent body (but nothing that really stood out), relatively pale skin and a face that had nothing wrong with it, but certainly was not memorable.  This is just my opinion and I suspect others may have found her looks more appealing.  For me, I always liked qualities that stand out.  Susan did not have these.  Looking back, the same could be said about her personality.

Susan had straight, dirty blonde hair that was unremarkable until she cut it.  Even when she got the longish pixie, I was not a style that drove me wild.  It was long bangs sweeping over her face, enough length on the sides to cover most of her ears and decent length in the back so most of her neck was not exposed.  With that said, any female at my high school who cut her hair got my attention and this happened with Susan.  By now, I was confident that I could start talking to Susan and get her attention.  We did not have very much in common and I think the lack of interest went both ways.

It took time to get Susan talking to me.  I learned that she was single and could tell she was already into guys.  I recall raising the issue of her new hair and she seemed less than interested in saying much more than that she cut it. It was not a big deal to hear and unlike other experiences I have had, I could tell she did not think much about it.  I would ask why she did it or other similar questions to get her talking about her hair.  She would respond with short answers that were not conducive to any further discussion.  I remember being frustrated with this and not knowing how to deal with it.  I tried to avoid talking about it too much, as I did not want to seem weird.

I asked Susan out after a few times talking and she agreed to go out with me.  We went on a date and I really do not remember any details.  I do not think it ended with anything other than a friendly hug or kiss.  We spoke a few more times and I tried asking her out again.  She avoided a response and I got the feeling she was not interested.  She was not rude and I felt like there was still hope.  I persevered and got into a conversation over the telephone with her to try to find out why I was not getting the interest I thought that I deserved.  After a bit of avoidance, I got the answer and it has probably scared me since.

Susan told me that I weirded her out by always talking about her hair.  I am not sure how much she actually said in this discussion, but I felt like it went on forever.  She said that she felt like I would always stare at her hair and get weird whenever I talked about it.  She also said that I constantly tried to talk about it.  She also mentioned that she knows that I dated other girls with short hair.  I just denied it and said that I was simply trying to make conversation.  I tried to act like I did not care, as I did not want to draw anymore attention to the issue. I changed the subject and did what I could to end things on a good note and divert any attention away from the hair issue.  The call ended and I do not think I ever spoke with Susan again other than maybe a quick hello if I saw her in the hall.

As much as I tried to cover it up, I was devastated and more embarrassed than I had ever been.  I was paralyzed by the fear that she would tell everyone and I would be known for this abnormality.  The thoughts that went through my head were awful and I hated myself for what I thought was a completely freakish trait. As I processed my self hatred, I promised myself that I would control my fetish and I would not be defined by this personal characteristic.  I realized that this desire would have to be internalized and that I would have to get pleasure from these desires secretly.  Although this is not how some would say a fetish should be dealt with, I realized it is the way I have to deal with it.  As a way to cope, I have found pleasure in suppressing my desires and being in the closet about this fetish.

Not long after the incident with Susan, I got into a relationship with Esther, a girl a year younger than me who had longish hair.  As a result of the recent embarrassment, I would not even talk about hair with Esther.  This was not a bad relationship and we got along very well.  I still remember the physical side of the relationship and how I would fantasize about Esther having short hair, but would keep this to myself.  This actually worked well for me and I was able to act normal, even when I was in intimate situations.

My relationship with Esther started a bit before Christmas and continued into the new year. At some time during the winter, a girl named Cara who was in my geography class got my attention.  Cara was my age and had been someone I kind of knew for years.  We may have talked the odd time, but never hung out together.  Cara had tanned skin, blue eyes, dressed well and had a not so developed body for a 17 year old.  She was cute and had always had longish brown hair that was permed.  Back then, perms were still common.  I remember her hair was a grown out perm that was a bit lighter at the bottom from getting it permed.

One day, Cara came into class with her hair in a short pixie cut.  It was incredible and totally not what I expected from a girl like Cara, who I always pictured having longer hair.  Her hair looked darker, as the lighter length had been chopped off.  It was also straight, as the permed length was now gone.  It was a few inches on top with bangs above her eyebrows.  The sides were above her ears and the back had a bit of length, but exposed her neck.  The length in the back could not have been much more than an inch.  I was fixating on Cara and trying not to stare.  Lucky for me, she sat right near me so I could see her while looking at the front of the classroom.  It was all that I could think about.

To my pleasure, Cara’s friend who she sat beside immediately commented on her hair and told her that she loved it. She asked Cara what made her do it and Cara explained that her hairdresser likes to cut.  He was great and has for ages tried to get her to cut her hair.  She said that she always liked the short styles that he did on other women at her salon, but was too afraid to cut her hair or let him cut it.  She told her friend about how her older sister had let him cut her hair shoulder length and she walked out with a short bob.  Ever since then, she was afraid to ask for anything more than a trim.

Cara then told her friend that her hair was so fried from perming it that it could not handle another perm unless she wanted it to break off.  Her hairdresser recommended that she let him cut it and start over.  She said she let him go for it and he promised not to cut it too short. She explained that she knew he was going to cut it short, but she did not want him using clippers or going butch on her.. She said she loved it so far and her friend said it suited her.

The whole time I was pretending to do my school work so I would not sound like I was listening in on what they were saying.  I remember wanting them to keep talking about it forever.  My pleasure was interrupted by the teacher starting the lesson.  I was however possessed and was putting all of my energy into not showing it.  Cara knew Esther and she knew about my relationship with her.  I knew then that I had to find a way to talk to Cara and get to know her better.

A few days later I started talking to Cara in the hall.  We talked about our class and I think I made some other small talk.  I then casually mentioned that I thought her hair looked great and that she was brave to do it.  Cara smiled at me and looked flattered.  She said she is getting used to it and loves not having hair in her face.  I was afraid to ask any more, as I was still a bit paranoid of others finding out about my obsession with short hair.  The experience with Susan had really freaked me out.

My time with Esther was still enjoyable, but as soon as we held each other or kissed, I would pretend it was with Cara.  This was not good and I could not think of anything to do about it.  I continued my efforts with Cara, but they were not really getting anywhere.  This upset me, but I was a bit relieved, as I still had a girlfriend.  I did not want to hurt Esther.

As the school year passed by I could not find ways to connect more with Cara.  I tried trying to make conversation with her, but it really did not go anywhere.  I was afraid of trying too hard and did not want to look foolish.  This caused frustration for me, but I sort of liked the challenge.  Esther kept her hair long and never expressed any interest in cutting it.  I did not raise the issue, as I was pretty sure it would not get me anywhere. Over time, my relationship with Esther faded. By the late spring we parted ways.

Overall grade 12 was a bit of a bust when it came to my fetish and memorable experiences.  The summer was not all that different from what I can recall,  This is not intended to be a boring story, but rather to be a somewhat accurate history.

I got into a mid-sized university about two hours from where I lived.  It was known as a bit of a party school, but also had a good academic reputation.  Several of my friends enrolled as well, so I knew people and was excited for the change.  It was my first time really away from home.  I was living in a co-ed residence that was divided into 5 or 6 floors.  I think there were about 40 students on each floor.

I arrived the last week in August and the partying started the first night.  I was no stranger to drinking, but the partying was more than I was used to.  There was also more weed being smoked than I had experienced in the past.  Not everyone had moved into my dorm yet, but I started to meet people right away.  It seemed like everyone was looking to get drunk and hook up.  This was fine with me and I was looking to make the most of the college experience.

It was the first night that a bunch of people from my residence were hanging out and I met a bunch of girls.  To my delight, two had short hair and several more had sort of short hair like bobs or long shag styles.  It was the mid-1990s, so short hair was quite popular.  I was glad to see that there were more girls with short hair who I saw on campus and immediately thought about the opportunities.

There were two girls with short hair in my residence, Deana and Sandra.  Neither lived on my floor and both were part of the crowd who were getting out and meeting people. Deana caught my eye first and reminded me of a more developed version of Sarah.  She wore glasses and not very stylish clothes.  She was not super heavy, but kind of had a pear shaped figure.  She was average height and had a cute face that was no one that really stood out in a crowd.  What caught my attention of course was her hair.

Deana’s hair was a relatively short pixie that had bangs sweeping over her forehead in the front.  It was thinned out on top, but had a bit of body.  The sides had some length but exposed her ears.  The back was thinned out and trimmed evenly at the hairline.  The hairline was almost to the bottom of her ears, exposing her neck and making it look longer.  I could tell that her hair had been cleaned up, as there was only stubble on her neck below her hairline.

Before I ever spoke to Deana, I remember being turned on by her.  I was standing behind her talking to people at a party. I was staring at her neck that did not just get my attention, but made me go wild.  Her neatly trimmed hairline was level with the bottom of her ears, exposing and elongating her neck.  None of the girls I had dated before had their hairlines trimmed this high in the back.  It drove me wild.  I tried to look like I was making eye contact with the people talking, but I was really only focused on Deana’s neck at that time.  Before long Deana spoke and I found my way into a conversation with her.

We started talking about where we were living and what it was like being away from home. It was Deana’s first time away from home and she said she was terrified to move out.  She did not act like she was scared but she was telling me that she was. I let her do most of the talking. As hard as I tried, I could not get Deana to be anything more than a friend, but she was at least a friend I could think about. It was hard for me to look but not touch, but I learned that this was how I would have to cope with the desire I had for women with short hair.
That same week I ended up with a girl with longer red hair.  All I really remember was that she made the moves for me and that I am pretty sure I never saw her again after frosh week.  I feel bad but I do not even recall her name. Not much more happened with girls my first year at college. I may have hooked up with one or two others, but there was nothing that stood out and none had short hair.

By my sophomore year of college, my social circle had changed and I started hanging out with people who were different from those who lived in my residence the year before. Kyla was a girl who I hung out with from the beginning of my second year at college.  We were friends at first.  She was cute, short and a bit plain looking.  Her hair was a bit below chin length and straight so it sort of caught my eye.  She did not have the kind of body that stood out, but I liked how she was a bit busty. We became friends and were very comfortable around each other.  Kyla and I liked to hang out and just talk.

In the late fall, Kyla brought up her hair to me and said that she wanted to cut it.  Before she said those words, I cannot really say I was ever attracted to her.  As soon as she mentioned that, I immediately saw her in a different way.  Like usual, this embarrassed me and I did what I could to hide it.  I casually asked what she planned to do with her hair and she started explaining that she had always wanted to try short hair, but was afraid to go too short.  She explained that the summer before college she got up the nerve to get a chin length bob.  She loved it being shorter and felt like it was more her.  I told her that her hair looked great short.

Kyla then explained that since she started college she has actually wanted to go shorter and has been meaning to cut her hair for a while.  Pretending to not know what she meant, I asked if she meant cutting her hair chin length again.  She shyly said that she actually wanted to go much shorter.  I had a feeling that is what she meant, but i tried to act surprised.  She saw my facial expression and asked if I thought she would look bad.  I did not know what to say, so I made eye contact and said that I thought she could pull it off.  I did not try to keep the conversation going, out of fear for seeming weird about it.  After that, I was attracted to Kyla. To be fair, the feeling was not mutual.

As we lived close to one another, Kyla and I saw each other all the time.  I made an effort not to raise the issue of her hair again.  At that same time, I also made an effort to try to flirt with her in a subtle way and get her attention.  I did not go overboard, but tried to be near her more and started talking to her more frequently. Over the next few weeks, Kyla did not cut her hair or talk about it anymore.  Near the end of the semester during exams, she was stressed out and emotional about the stress of school.  I was listening to her in her state of panic and emotion and tried to calm her down.

The night before we went home for the break, Kyla and I were talking about our plans for when we were home.  She said that she was going to get her hair cut when she went home.  I asked if I would recognize her when she got back to school and she laughed.  She then looked at me and asked if I did not think she would look good if her hair was any shorter. Now I had to say something and did want hair to know that she should go shorter.  I said that I thought she would look great with really short hair.  I think she was surprised and immediately asked what I meant by really short.  I played dumb said I did not know and asked what she was thinking of doing.  She then explained that she had wanted to go very short, but thought it might look bad on her.  She said she was surprised that I did not hate the idea of very short hair.  I was already uncomfortable and did not want to say much more.  I just said that I thought it would make her look really good and she should not be afraid to do it.

I fought the urge to say anything else, but I let her talk about her hair a bit more.  I wanted to say more, but had learned that it is better for me to say less.  I was also attracted to her, but knew that she did not have the same feelings for me and did not want to do anything to harm our friendship. I would rather have a friend with short hair who I could talk to than nothing at all.

A few days before school resumed, I got back to college.  Kyla was not back yet and I was excited to see her.  Over the break, I kept thinking about what she would look like and the whole idea turned me on.  Each day I would wake up and hope that this would be the day that she would be returning to school.  It was only the day before classes started that she returned.
When I saw her, I almost lost control of myself.  She was wearing tight pants and a baggy sweater.  Her nape was exposed, as her hair in the back was clipped short to almost the top of her ears.  The sides were also clipped over her ears with what must have been a #3 guard.  She had a bowl cut, which was still a style back then.  Her hair on top still had some length and was rather thick.  It fell a bit over her ears and had a very defined weight line in the back. Seeing her exposed neck and the shape of her head drove me absolutely wild.  I could have just stared at her all day.
I wanted to talk about her hair more, but could tell the topic had been exhausted.  A few days later we were hanging out with a few friends and Kyla asked if we thought thought it was too short.  One of the other girls we were with questioned whether she thought it was too short and Kyla said she did not ever think she would have such short hair.  She then explained that she did not plan to go this short.
Kyla went on to tell us that one of her good friends from home cut her hair at school and she saw it over the break. She talked to her about it and loved it. Her friend already knew that she wanted to go short and convinced her to go for a wedge cut. She was not sure if she wanted something that radical, but her friend explained that it is an easy style to grow-out if she doesn’t like it.  Her friend agreed to go with her to get it cut and give her the support.
They found a stylist who she told me had a cool short hair style and they thought this would be the right one to go to.  When Kyla got in the chair she explained that she wanted to go short for a while and was considering a short wedge cut.  The stylist showed her pictures from a magazine and talked about different options.  She recommended leaving some length and weight on top, but taking the sides and back short.  When Kyla asked how short, the stylist explained the options and recommended using clippers to keep it neat and even. This scarred Kyla, but her friend interjected and said she should go super short on the sides and back.  Her stylist recommended a short guard and Kyla said she did not want it too short.  Apparently, what she got was a compromise.
Kyla continued to talk about the cut and I just listened.  By now, I went to great effort to hide my interest and make it seem like it was nothing special to me.  Deep down it drove me wild, but I tried to show little emotion. Kyla explained the cut and how her stylist pinned up her hair and slowly brushed it out and cut it.  She said it seemed like she just kept cutting until she barely had any hair left.  After her stylist had cut the sides and back short, she took out her clippers while the hair on top was still long and pinned up.  Kyla said that she was freaked out and felt like she was having her head shaved. She wanted to tell the stylist to stop, but she just let it happen.
She then explained how her stylist slowly unpinned and trimmed her hair on top, removing most of the length but leaving it thick.  She said that she asked her to leave more length on top and her stylist did that.  I remember thinking that Kyla’s hair would have looked better if she went a bit shorter on top and thinned it out more.  I did not dare say that and just listened. I tried to look a bit uninterested around our friends. Kyla then told me how she thought her stylist was done when she blew her hair dry.  Her stylist then took out the small clippers and cleaned up her hair in the back and around her sideburns. It was hard for me to control myself, but I managed.
Well I would love to write about how Kyla and I ended up together, but we never did. We stayed friends and she grew out her hair. The next year, I met a girl and got into a relationship that would last through the rest of college. Her hair was not short and she had no desire to cut it. By then I realized that it is better to not bring up these issues, even if it is a challenge. This became a trend were my interest in women with short hair would become repressed for many years.

3 responses to “My Hair Fetish History (1995 to 1999)

  1. In this chapter, the protagonist’s evolving relationships and internal struggles with his fetish for short hair are explored in a candid manner. The narrative presents an honest depiction of his efforts to navigate attraction, social interactions, and self-acceptance. The author effectively portrays the protagonist’s inner conflict, particularly in his interactions with Susan, Cara, and Kyla, revealing the intricacies of desire and societal expectations. The detailed descriptions of the characters’ haircuts and the protagonist’s reactions bring depth to the story, immersing the reader in his perspective. The scene where Kyla discusses her haircut is particularly captivating, highlighting the tension between the protagonist’s desire and his attempts to hide it. However, the repetitive nature of the protagonist’s experiences with different women and his struggles with self-acceptance can be predictable at times. To enhance the narrative, it is suggested to include more dynamic interactions or explore other aspects of the protagonist’s identity beyond his fetish. Overall, the chapter effectively captures the protagonist’s journey of self-discovery and the complexities of desire.

  2. Thank you for your comments. It is not an easy balance with these stories, as I try to keep them accurate while trying to preserve anonymity. I have a desire to share more, but it has to be balanced with who I am and the others in my life. I actually held off on publishing this part of my life for several years, as I thought the update read more like a sob-story than a hair-story.

Leave a Reply