The trip was great, 10 days in Key West, sun, booze, water – true beach bums. Back to reality as our flight rolls in shortly before noon on Saturday – a good friends wedding later in the evening and then home to relax from being on vacation for 10 days. Jill’s hair, usually a shorter pixie, had gotten really longer during our vacation, and she had mentioned that she needed a light trim at some point when we returned. Her definition of a light trim and mine differed tremendously, as I always prefered a super short, clippered style, especially on the nape area. “We’ll need to hurry babe, we need to be at the wedding at 5 o’clock, just so you know” “No worries, I replied, we’ll be good for time, just need to shower and we’ll be good”
“Wow, your hair really got long over the last few weeks babe” thinking the wrath from hell would accompany the comment as usual… “I know, I wish I could have gotten it trimmed up before tonight, I’ll be out of town next week, I really don’t know when I’ll get in for a haircut” jill said as she grabbed her purse to roll out for the evening. The time was 4:15, and we started for the venue some 45 minutes away.
Now with a conveniently, self sent text, a quick reminder from the wedding party stated that shuttle parking for the venue will begin at 6pm, complimentary. “Parking starts at 6, what the heck, I thought the wedding was at 5″ I said with a smirk.. Wow, we’ll be way early, the ceremony is not until 7. Let’s grab a beer close by, I don’t want to go back home for sure” Jill agreed and we headed toward town and parked. Castaways Grill was the local watering hole, which was conveniently beside G’s, a local area barbershop right beside the bar. ‘We’re really early, and you did mention you needed a trim, I could use one as well – My liver actually needs a break form the alcohol anyway”. The whole haircut thing was a sore spot for Jill, but she always, at the minimum, tried to please me with her style. “I’ll go in and see if their open, probably not, since its’ so late” As I walked out of the shop, I motioned for Jill to come on – the shop was till open. Upon entering, a short, country girl barber welcomed us both and guided Jill over to her chair.
Tissued and caped, Jill sat as the barber pumped the chair. “Chin down for me darling”, as she pressed the top of Jill’s head. With a few more pumps of the chair and with the first pass of the clippers, the barber said, “Headed to the beach for a few weeks I hear, it’s always good to get a good, short haircut before you go, you wouldn’t want the tan lines on your nape to look to fresh.” With reckless abandon, she plowed through Jill’s hair, just like the picture I had shown her minutes before on my cell phone when I walked in earlier. In less than 5 minutes, Jill’s nape area was bald and her 10 day suntan really contrasted with her newly shorn neckline. The kind of dumpy, redneck barber, placed the loud, clangy, clippers back in their saddle and began to really “bald fade’ the neckline.
“You’ll need to grab some sunscreen honey” the ole country barber said, as she continued to scalp her neck and ear area. As she spun Jill around, her nape area was completely bald, lined up beautifully and the newly shorn neckline certainly stood out. We paid, left, and headed for the wedding. We inevitably arrived early, and grabbed a few empty seats up front. Jill, who is always self conscious about her hair, sat in the front row, with her newly shorn, bald faded neckline – it was obvious to everyone behind her that her haircut was indeed “fresh”. Wow, I didn’t realize you had gotten so much sun, your new cut really makes the contrast stand out”!
Jill sat quietly, a newly shaved nape, and styled by a country ass barber. And To add insult to injury, the top was “poofed” and coated with the old school “aquanet'” a classic look from the 60’s. The looks from some of the women sitting behind and during the ceremony were obviously one of: “holy shit, I bet her husband hates her hair, it looks like she’s in the Army! No – Not quite, that cut will be next! To be continued!