August
Hayley stood in the bathroom in front of the large rectangular mirror, brushing her hair, trying very hard not to have an anxiety attack. She knew today was coming but she had hoped her mother would forget.
Focus on this weekend, Hayley told herself. Don’t think about anything else.
Summer camp. But not the kind of summer camp she’d been to before. This was a woman versus nature three weeks surviving in the wild kind of summer camp. With leaders to make sure nothing bad happened. In a mere three days Hayley would be living off the land, trudging through the wilderness, with her camping equipment strapped to her back. Her friends had called her mad. Hayley was bored and wanted an adventure.
That was until her mum had pointed that there would be no showers, only a quick dip in the river, so no good way to wash her hair for three weeks. Hayley had just about accepted the fact that she wouldn’t be able to straighten or blow dry her hair for that period but why hadn’t it occurred to her that cleanliness (or lack thereof) would be an issue on this trip.
So her mum had suggested that Hayley get her hair cut before the trip.
Currently her hair was nearly waist-length. It was dyed jet black to cover the half washed out purple dye underneath that covered the natural and annoyingly bright orange colour underneath that. She straightened her hair every morning in the hope that one day her hair would learn to grow straight by itself rather than its natural curls.
Because of the repeated straightening and dye jobs the last 8 inches of her hair were pretty fried. It was these 8 inches that Hayley had agreed to loose today. Even though the ends were dead they were still part of her dazzling black curtain of hair.
Hayley had also agreed, for some mad reason that she wished she could take back now, that her mum could cut her hair. To save money and time, her mum had insisted. And then this afternoon Hayley was off to the local salon to have her two inch orange roots dyed back to black before her trip.
“Right are you ready for your transformation?” asked her mum as she burst into the bathroom brandishing the thick black-handled scissors from the kitchen.
Her mum was far too excited about this haircut. That was why Hayley was regretting agreeing to this.
“Can we just get this over with? I don’t want to miss my hair appointment,” Hayley grumbled.
“Of course love. You’re going to look so pretty with your new hair!”
“I just want it cut up to here,” Hayley said firmly. She stretched her arms around her back until her hands touched a point just below her bra strap. She felt her mum press her own fingers against her back to mark the same point.
“Just up to here is where you want it, eh love? Not a problem.”
Hayley moved her hair so it all hung behind her down her back. Her mum opened the scissors and Hayley couldn’t help but shut her eyes as she heard the first: schnick.
*
I raised the scissors to my daughter’s ugly black hair. She’s such a beautiful girl but why did she insist on hiding it away. However today I had the opportunity to show her the truth.
I raised the scissors to the point Hayley had indicated and closed the blades. 8 inches of limp frazzled hair fell to the floor. But as I made the second cut with the scissors I angled the blades upwards slightly. Then again and again until I had cut a deliberately diagonal line across Hayley’s hair.
“There you go love, all finished. It’s not perfect but what do you think.”
*
Hayley breathed a sigh of relief. Less than a minute. The whole horrible ordeal had taken less than a minute. She’s been worrying for nothing. Urgh she could feel how light her head was with those last 8 inches. She brushed her hair forwards over her shoulders so she could look at the new length in the mirror.
Wait…
“Mum what have you done!”
The left side seemed to be the length she’d asked for but the right side was clearly several inches shorter. Hayley desperately tugged on her shorter locks to try and make them grow.
“I know love, it’s not perfectly even but I’m sure no one will notice.”
“Everyone will notice!” Hayley shrieked. “I can’t go outside like this!”
“Alright hold still.” Her mum raised the scissors again. “I’ll trim the ends so it looks a bit straighter.”
*
Poor Hayley, I thought. I knew my daughter would get emotional at this part. Anyone would, it was understandable. But as soon as she saw herself without those horrible limp black strands that her hair had been turned into she’d be happy again.
This time Hayley was watching me anxiously in the mirror. I wasted no time. The hair on Hayley’s right was now too short to cover her chest. Instead of a straight line I cut another diagonal line until the left side was shorter and shoulder length.
*
“Mum what the hell are you doing!” Ok, now Hayley was definitely having a panic attack. Why was her mum doing this to her beautiful silky hair?
“What do you mean love?”
“That’s clearly not straight!”
“Well, true it might be a little uneven but only slightly.”
Hayley looked down and screamed when she saw the amount of black hair that now covered the bathroom floor. It was everywhere.
She picked up the brush again and wished and prayed her hair would somehow get longer and not be at her shoulders. She hadn’t had shoulder length hair since she was ten years old. Oh god she was going to have to get a bob now. Instead of just getting her roots done at the salon she was going to have to get an ugly bob that she wouldn’t be able to tie up properly because it was too short. Oh god she had short hair!
“It’s alright love, don’t stress please. I’m sure I can fix the ends.”
Her mum lifted the scissors. She was going to take even more of her precious hair. The blades were already closing.
Hayley span round to face her mum. Her mum’s hand slipped. “No! I don’t want you…”
Schnnnnnniiiiiick.
She froze. Even her mum looked shocked. A huge chunk of beautiful black hair fell away from the side of her head in slow motion and onto the floor. Slowly Hayley turned and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn’t help it. She burst into tears and sank into the black waves of hair onto the floor.
*
Oh dear. This wasn’t going to plan. I had intended for next cut to take Hayley’s hair to her ears so she could see what her face would look like when it wasn’t surrounded but all that horrid dyed blackness. Then I was sure my daughter would smile and say ‘you’re right mum, my natural red hair is so much better than this inky mess, cut it all off please’. And then we would bond and laugh and take turns cutting off the rest of Hayley’s hair until only her fiery orange roots remained.
Oh how beautiful she would look with her short crop of ginger curls. I’m so jealous of my daughter. How I wish I had Hayley’s hair type and colour instead of my own boring brown. Hayley was so lucky!
But now…
The accidental slice had taken the left side of Hayley hair high above her ear. A large section of black had been cut away and her natural colour was clearly visible. No wonder the poor girl was in shock. So much for the gradual change I had planned.
Hayley was still sobbing on the floor.
“It’ll be alright love, you’ll see.”
It wasn’t the joyous moment I had pictured but at least Hayley had accepted the change. I lifted a piece of my daughter’s hair and cut the strand near her head so all the black was removed and the only red remained. One strand of hair after another. It was actually easier cutting Hayley’s hair now she was lower than me.
I confess I started to get misty eyed while I steadily moved the kitchen scissors around Hayley’s head. Hayley had sat on the floor as one person and when she stood up she would be another. What a glorious moment it would be when she saw her new reflection for the first time. A phoenix rising from the ashes. I will never let Hayley hide for beauty away again.
*
Snip, snip, snip.
Hayley could feel the scissors moving around her head. Part of her knew what was happening to her lovely silky tresses and a bigger part of her refused to believe that her mum could be so cruel. She knew how much she hated her ugly ginger hair and the stupid curls that looked like a bird’s nest.
Why was this happening? What had she done to deserve this?
Her black locks fell all around her, piling up around her body, trapping her, sapping her strength as her mum continued unrelenting with the scissors.
*
“There all done,” I beamed.
Hayley looked up at me. Bless the poor girl, she’d had a shock but now those were tears of happiness shining on her face. Happy that this dark weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Oh look how beautiful you are now! Let me just take a picture, I never want to forget this magical moment.”
I fished the camera out from where I had hidden early behind a box of tampons. I’d get the photos developed when Hayley was away at summer camp. First a wide shot of the bathroom, then a couple of close-ups of all the hair on the floor, then an artsy shot of the scissors on top of the hair, then close-ups of Hayley from different angles.
A tear ran down Hayley’s cheek.
“Oh not to worry love. I’m nearly done, you’ll be able to see your reflection in just a moment.” It felt fitting to wipe away Hayley’s tears with a handful of her old hair. A symbol of her transformation.
“Now, before you stand up how about a shot of you holding all of your dead hair?” Hayley cried more tears of what could only be joy as I scooped as many strands of black hair into her arms as I could. Perfect. What an incredible moment! I was overwhelmed to be part of such a significant moment in my daughter life.
“Right love, now you can take a look at the new you!”
*
Hayley’s hair felt heavy and prickly in her arms. Meanwhile she was feeling light-headed. No that’s because her head was so light without her hair. She had never felt so miserable and so humiliated in her whole life. Now it was immortalised forever in those stupid photos.
Her mum would get them printed out and put in the family album which she’d bring out every Christmas and every time some obscure relative came to visit. She could practically here her mum now: And this is this day I decided to show my daughter just how much I hated her by cutting off all her hair for absolutely no reason. Doesn’t she look hideous.
Hayley stood up and immediately whimpered when she saw her reflection. She hugged her poor severed locks tightly.
Gone was her stunning waist length shimmering waterfall of black hair. Now her head was covered in tuffs of horrible bright orange hair that seemed to range in length from one to two inches. She didn’t dare mention how uneven the cut was in case her mum decided to remove even those disgustingly short locks. Or maybe bald would be better than this bird’s…no…rat’s nest of a disaster that was now the only hair she had left.
She hated her natural hair. Why oh why had her mum inflicted this upon her? She would never forgive her for this. Never. At least she could escape for three weeks. Maybe when the camp was over she’d just run away and never come back.
Behind her, her mum snapped more pictures.
“I’m going to be late for my appointment,” said Hayley weakly. She needed her hair coloured. She needed this orange gone.
“Oh I’m sorry I forgot to tell you love. I called and cancelled your salon appointment. You won’t be needing any more of those. I’ll be your personal stylist from now on.”
*
When Hayley cried, so did I because it was such a special moment to be part of. The moment Hayley saw and recognised her own true beauty for the first time.
The drab black hair was gone. She was free of it. Why she had ever dyed and straightened it I would never understand. Why would she ever want to hide those flaming copper curls. Because that was all that was left. A perfect cap of stunning orange hair. Now that her hair was short and no longer weighed down the curl was already returning.
After Hayley’s three week adventure her hair would no doubt be a bit unruly. It was only to be expected. I’ll help her maintain her new look. Maybe on the night of Hayley’s return we could stand together in front of the mirror again while I carefully snipped her hair back into its precise new shape.
How often did short hair need to be cut? Maybe once a month? Oh it could become a monthly mother-daughter bonding ritual!
Or what if I surprised Hayley. What if I waited until Hayley was asleep and cut her hair off then? What a glorious sensation it would be for Hayley to wake up surrounded by a halo of copper curls on her pillow. To start the day which a fresh new haircut.
I’m so jealous that my own mother never gave me this experience. Oh how I fantasied about her sheering my own hair off like she did with my brothers. Oh how I wished I could have my own hair peeled away every summer like them. But now I had a chance to right that wrong. I would do better for Hayley. She would know that I was always here for her. She’d never have to worry about having long hair ever again. I would take care of everything.
