Flattopped
Executive Order 58008 Pt II: Amber’s Revenge
Noting a disturbing trend of an increasing percentage of kids on the Naughty List each year and an increase in kids on the Naughty List becoming Naughty adults, the President signed Executive Order 58008 requiring all 18 year olds to report to the nearest military barbershop and receive a haircut that will show the world whether they are on the Naughty List or Nice List as determined by the North Pole.
Nice boys got a short back and sides haircut, nice girls got a bowlcut. Naughty boys received a short, tidy poodle perm with shaved nape, and naughty girls received a horseshoe flattop. These haircuts would be required for 12 months, and could be extended an additional three years for those remaining on the naughty list. All 18 year-olds had 30 days to report for their haircut or they and their parents would be placed on the Naughty List and would receive their haircuts from a Mobile Squad of military barbers that selected the time and place to maximize humiliation.
##############
Amber was glad to be home. She couldn’t wait to get a shower and reconnect with her friends and boyfriend, Chad. What a horrible trip! Her parents had taken her to Mexico for three weeks to build schools with a church group to try to get her to “think of someone other than herself”. As an only child, her parents often complained that she lived her life as though the world revolved around her and so they scheduled this trip to show her there is more to life. It backfired horribly because she refused to lift a finger in Mexico and sulked the whole time.
No cell phones, no internet, and she’d missed the big New Years Eve party where her and Chad were going to make love for the first time. Her parents ruined everything!
The first thing she did when she got home was retrieve her phone and power it up. A zillion unread texts awaited her, far more than she expected. As she worked her way through them her heart raced and panic set in. Friend after friend sent photos of themselves with horrible, short haircuts they said they got at a military barbershop! She finally got to Chad’s texts and saw his photo. He looked like Mrs. Roper from Three’s Company with his red tightly permed hair!
She called Chad immediately, but no answer. She then called her best friend Victoria who picked right up. “Victoria, has the world gone mad? What is going on with everyone’s hair?”
“Didn’t you get a letter? All 18 year olds have to get government issued haircuts within 30 days and keep it that way for a year!”
“Why did you pick that military haircut for yourself?”
“That’s just it Amber, you have no say in what you get. It is dictated by whether you are on the Naughty or Nice List. You only have 30 days to do it and that is almost up. Have you not had yours cut yet?”
Amber looked at her long silky black hair in the mirror. It now reached her waist receiving only minimal trims. “No, we just got home from Mexico and this is the first I’m hearing about it. It does explain the bad haircuts I saw on girls in the airport though.”
“Well, you better hurry and get it cut or they put your whole family on the Naughty List and you all get mandatory haircuts!”
“I don’t want my haircut, is there any way out of it?”
“Nope, read your letter Ambs!”
“Ok, ok, I’ll go find it now. Bye”
Amber raced downstairs and saw the pile of mail her parents had brought in, but not yet sorted through. She found the letter and scampered back to the privacy of her room. She read and re-read the letter 10 times. It was a given that she was on the Naughty List. She looked at her friends photos with horseshoe flattops and googled the term. She loved her hair too much to ever voluntarily subject herself to that haircut. No, if they want her hair, they’re going to have to come take it! And if they take her parents hair too, well that is just paybacks for forcing her to go to Mexico. Besides, it’s the government we’re talking about, it will be years before they get around to her, if they ever do. She stuffed the letter in her special hiding place and went down for dinner. Her parents always watched game shows rather than the local news so they’d probably never know.
The 30 day deadline came and went with no calamity. Amber flaunted her long hair at school creating resentment from all the girls who had been shorn, including her so called friends. If there had been a hotline, she was sure there would be a line to turn her in, but no such mechanism existed yet.
She ate alone now at school, just her and her hair. Dirty looks and snide comments followed her everywhere she went. Even Chad wanted nothing to do with her. Sporting his tidy little poodle perm, he had stopped wearing his contacts and reverted back to his old wire framed glasses making him now look like a shorter haired version of Napoleon Dynamite. He’d become a recluse like most of the kids on the naughty list and would not talk to her or return her texts or calls. Seeing how he looks now, she wasn’t putting much effort into reconnecting with him, instead focusing on the 17 year olds and college guys that still had normal hair.
A few months passed and still no consequences. Amber was excited as she readied herself for her Spring Formal dance at the high school. She was going with Ben, a college freshman she had met at Starbucks. Her black hair with a blue sheen to it looked amazing with her blue strapless sequined dress that put the girls on display up top and barely covered her ass.
Her parents had already left to go to a Bulls basketball game which was good because her dad would have never let her leave the house dressed like this. 3” strappy heels adorned her feet . She’d taken a great deal of time adding spiral curls to her hair to complete the look.
Kerry and Bill have had a date night every month since they were married. Tonight, they were attending the Bulls vs Knicks game. It was an important game to both teams as the playoffs neared. Bill had won the tickets in a random drawing conducted by the Bulls and were down courtside. The seats were great and an attendant catered to their every need. As half time approached, the attendant informed them that at half time they’d be escorted out to center court as the winners and to be sure to wave to the crowd. Both were a little nervous, but also excited.
The horn sounded and the players headed towards the locker rooms. The attendant escorted Bill and Kerry out to center court where they were met by the announcer. “Let’s give a big Bulls welcome to Bill and Kerry Thomas, our big winners tonight. Are you both having a great time tonight?”
Kerry was too introverted to speak so Bill took charge. “Yes, we are having a great time. Thank you. “
“Well, we have one more surprise for you tonight. Gentlemen!”
With a nod, four soldiers wheeled out two large boxes a little larger than a washing machine. Bill and Kerry were all smiles wondering what was under boxes.
“Gentlemen, show them what they’ve one!”
The soldiers lifted the boxes off revealing two red leather and chrome barber chairs. The couple’s expressions immediately went from glee to confusion.
“Now Bill, Kerry, is this your daughter Amber?” Amber’s picture appeared on all the digital scoreboards. Her long black hair on full display as it cascaded down to her waist.
“Yes, that’s Amber.” Bill replied.
“And how old is your daughter?”
“18. She’ll be 19 this summer”
A gasp rose from the crowd. They all sensed where this was going. A few boos erupted from around the arena.
“18 you say. My, look how long and beautiful her hair is. I wish my 18 year olds hair was that long and shiny.” More boos arose. Bill and Kerry looked around. Why was the crowd reacting this way? And why were there two barber chairs here? Is this what they won?
“Well, Bill, Kerry, as our “big winners” tonight you will be receiving your legally mandated Naughty List haircuts in front of a sold out crowd! Take it away gentleman!”
“What mandatory haircuts? Have you all gone mad? You can’t do this to us!”
Bill looked at Kerry. He could see the fear in her eyes.
“Oh we can do this, by order of the President! You did not ensure your daughter received her mandatory haircut so now you will receive mandatory haircuts too, and maintain this cut for at least one year! Now we don’t want to get hair all over your nice clothes so we will be removing them from you.” The soldiers stripped the couple down to their underwear which on date night consisted of bikini underwear for Bill putting his package, or more correctly lack there of, on display. Kerry wore a lace bra and panties, her D-cups propped up nicely for the crowd to enjoy, but it also put her plus-sized body on display too. The couple was then strapped in the barber chairs and turned to face away from each other. Kerry now wept uncontrollably. Bill was scared for what was coming but also angry that his daughter played a part in this.
The crowd roared when two barbers jogged out to center court carrying their tools. No capes were used, and no time was wasted. Bill’s longer business mans cut was quickly snipped to 2 inches all over, then the barber wet Bill’s hair and began rolling the hair with the smallest of perm rods.
Kerry’s barber quickly ran a comb through her long black silky stick-straight hair. It wasn’t as long as Amber’s, but close falling just short of her waist. The barber fired up his big Oster clippers with a #8 guard, placed at her hairline and pulled back over the top of her head leaving a strip of 1 inch hair in its wake. Treating her like a marine recruit, he sheared her like a sheep in under 2 minutes. Her long black silky hair was now piled high on her shoulders and lap. She looked up and saw the split screen on the scoreboard showing her and Bill’s haircuts. Were they perming Bill’s hair? She looked at her own hair now resembling a spikey hedge hog, but not for long. The barber switched to his #00000 blade and began removing all the hair on her back and sides, leaving stark white skin gleaming bright under the arena lights. Next, he put clippers a couple inches back from her hairline and pulled them straight back carving a bald strip that was the inside of her horseshoe shaped haircut. He finished up by using a comb to precisely form the vertical walls of the flattop and the flat horizontal plane on top with the longest hair on her head now at the front and sticking up only 3/4 of an inch.
With halftime nearly over, the cheerleaders ran out with vacuums and began tidying up as Bill’s barber had just put the long rope of perm cotton border around the rollers and was now applying the extra strength perm solution to each rod. The announcer concluded the events by telling the crowd that the big reveals would occur at the end of the 3rd period.
The soldiers then pushed Bill and Kerry up the tunnel towards the locker rooms still strapped in their chairs. Once in an empty locker room Kerry’s barber spread shaving cream over the back, sides, and landing strip on top, then shaved them smooth with a straight razor. She was then unbuckled and taken into another room by two female troopers, blindfolded , and forced to remove her bra and panties and put on another outfit chosen just for her.
Once Bill’s perm had processed for 20 minutes, he was rinsed, neutralized, and rinsed again before the perm rods were finally removed. The tight kinky curls were teased out with a pick then shaped into a tight round ball of curls. Finally, with the guardless clippers he removed all the curls from his nape and around his ears, then the freshly exposed skin was shaved smooth with shaving cream and a razor. Bill was then blindfolded and two soldiers helped him out of his bikini underwear and into his new outfit chosen specifically for him. Both were then escorted into the tunnel until the period ended.
“Now, let’s welcome back to the court our two Naughty Parents, Bill and Kerry!” They were led out to center court and there blindfolds were removed as the crowd laughed and snapped photos. Kerry was dressed in a camouflage thong bikini that showed off every flaw in her rotund body, from her muffin top and large belly to her cottage cheese ass and thighs. She saw herself on the scoreboard and began crying again as she saw the final haircut and her full figure on full display. This was her worst nightmare.
Bill was dressed in a baby doll dress with white tights and Mary Jane shoes. With his tight blonde poodle perm he looked like a cross between Shirley Temple and a chubby Drew Carey. When he saw himself on the scoreboard he tried to hide his face as he too began to cry.
“Thank you to our military barbers tonight for their service and for their help in enforcing the Naughty List Executive Order.” With that Bill and Kerry were escorted to a waiting van for their next destination.
##########
Amber met Chad at the door. His jaw dropped when he saw how hot she looked. His hands were immediately all over her. He’d rather stay at the house and do the naughty dance than go to a high school dance, but Amber eventually pried his hands free, and fixed her hair and dress insisting that they head out.
They had a good time at the dance but she couldn’t help but feel the jealousy and anger directed her way for flaunting her long hair. They were getting ready to leave when the student body president, Maria Peters walked up to the microphone wearing a shiny emerald green dress that complimented her freshly barbered red bowl cut.
“It’s time to announce the Spring Formal King and Queen. Amber Thomas, please come on up!”
Amber was shocked. She knew she was the hottest girl here tonight, but was surprised people would vote for her. She made her way up on stage grinning from ear to ear. She no sooner got up there when the curtain behind her parted and two soldiers grabbed her arms.
“No, no, no! What are you doing! Let me go you fucks! I want my tiara!”
“Now Amber, have you been naughty or nice this year, because we can’t tell by looking at your haircut?” Maria asked.
Amber glared at her and yelled, “fuck you Maria you cunt!”
“Oh my. Using the c-word is something that someone on the naughty list would say. Now Amber, I have to ask, why haven’t you gotten your mandatory haircut yet?”
“I knew I was going to be forced to get one anyway and wanted to get back at my parents for ruining my plans for the holidays.”
“Oh my, that sounds very naughty too! Audience, what is your vote, naughty or nice?”
The crowd started chanting “Naughty, naughty, naughty!”
“Ok, ok, ok, simmer down. Let’s get a second opinion on which list you belong on. Bring out our special guests!”
Amber felt sick to her stomach as she saw her parents escorted on to the stage resulting in laughter and jeers from the crowd. Her dad looked like a horrific doll, and she was seeing more of her mom’s body than she could ever recall seeing or ever wanted to. Her mom’s mascara had run down her cheeks from crying, and her long glorious hair was gone. Amber knew she’d gone too far. She never meant for them to be humiliated like this. She mouthed the words “I’m sorry“ but her parents just glared at her.
“So, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, it looks like you’ve had an interesting night at the Bulls game tonight. Care to share?”
This was met with laughter from the crowd and mearly a head shake no from Bill. Kerry moved closer to Bill in an attempt to shield herself from the crowd behind him. As she got closer she realized they had even sprayed perfume on Bill, he smelled like roses.
“What do you think about your daughter intentionally skipping her haircut so that you would have to go through all this?”, Maria asked as she motioned towards their new makeovers and held the microphone over by them.
Kerry began crying again as she spoke. “Amber, what did we do to deserve this? Are we such horrible parents? Didn’t we raise you better than this? We still love you, we’ll always love you, and we’ll get through this together.”
At hearing this, Amber lost it. She began crying. “I know sorry isn’t enough to make up for this, but I am sorry and I promise I will make it up to you. I love you both!”
“Awww….thats so touching. However, we still have the little matter of this long hair of yours. Let’s get you tidied up and on your way, shall we? Oh boys” she said as she snapped her fingers.
A barber chair was wheeled out to center stage. The soldiers lifted Amber into it and strapped her arms and legs to it. She’d lost her will to fight after seeing her parents. A barber walked out pushing a cart with his tools on it.
“Now Amber, just so you know, you and your parents are the first law breakers to be punished under the Executive Order so the President has instructed that you receive an extra special haircut. Also, all your haircuts are being filmed and released on social media, local and national news networks, and government websites to send a message that violators will be punished and to motivate minors to get off the Naughty List”
With that the barber gathered Amber’s hair into a ponytail at the base of her neck then quickly sheared it off with his big clippers. He dropped the two foot long locks of hair into her lap. He next picked up his shears and began haphazardly lopping off locks of hair until it had all been reduced to about two inches in length.
Amber glanced at her mom and the other flattops in the crowd knowing she would soon look very similar. She felt the clippers slide up the right side of her head beginning in front of her ear and slowly, methodically pass after pass the clippers went around the back and across the left side leaving nothing but bare skin in its wake. The oval of hair left on top was transformed into a horseshoe shape as the clippers were placed a third of the way back from her widows peak then drawn straight back leaving the bald “landing strip”.
After applying some flattop wax to the hair and brushing it until it was vertical, the top was painstakingly leveled flat with a nearly vertical wall surrounding it on the front and sides.
“Hold up, hold up, the President wants this extra tight. Please widen the landing strip and take another 1/4 of an inch off the front”, Maria instructed.
The barber held his comb horizontally through the hair in front and buzzed it down to 1/2 inch, then leveled off the hair between this cut and the bald crown on top. He also used the clippers to widen the landing strip until just a thin strip of hair was left on the front and sides. The barber finished her off running a foil shaver over the back, sides, and landing strip to achieve that freshly shaved feel. The barber and soldiers then exited the stage and two chairs were brought and placed next to the barber chair for her parents to sit on.
“Ok Amber, you wanted a tiara you got one, just not the one you hoped for”, Maria explained as she held up a mirror for Amber to see her horseshoe flattop. It was so thin it looked like a little tiara of black hair jutting out of her bald head.
Amber couldn’t believe how horrible this haircut made her look. It prominently displayed her chubby cheeks and double chin that had been hidden by her hair, as well as her protruding ears that seemed too low making her forehead look big.
“One last surprise from the President, Lydia come in out!”
All present, including Amber gasped when they saw that Lydia had a tattoo gun. She immediately set to work on the side of Amber’s head while a soldier held her head perfectly still.
The pain was excruciating, but the worst part was not knowing what was being permanently inked on her head. Lydia finished up the left side, then moved on to the right. Amber was visibly relieved when the gun finally ceased.
“Amber, since the public had a hard time determining whether you were naughty or nice before tonight, the President wanted to make it painfully clear so we added this handy guide on the side of your head so depending on where your hairline is people will know”, Maria explained as she held the mirror up for Amber to see. On each side of her head, about an inch above the tops of her ears read:
___________
^NAUGHTY^
______________
^NICE^
Amber was then left there strapped on her barber chair throne with her parents at her side while the real king and queen were announced and the dance continued. Everyone wanted selfies with the family, the crowd roared with laughter when the real dance queen live streamed video showing her and Amber’s matching tiaras. They were forced to endure the humiliation until the dance ended. As Amber was unstrapped from the chair a soldier informed them that they would all be required to report to the military base barbershop monthly for the next year wearing what they were currently wearing—Amber in her prom dress and heels, mom in her camo thong bikini, and dad in his baby doll dress, tights, and Mary Jane shoes.
Bill had to quit going to the golf club, and worked from home more often than not. A video clip of him dressed as a doll covering his eyes as he began to cry became a meme that went viral. He took to wearing hats and sunglasses on those rare times he left the house. The baseball hats over time began to straighten out the tight little curls in a ring around his head so the barber had to perm him more frequently and longer resulting in the tightest of tight little curls.
Kerry’s video of her transforming into a plus-sized, thong bikini wearing jarhead became very popular on several fetish websites. The erotic and vulgar messages sent to her got so bad that she had to shut down her social media and email accounts (at least that is what she told Bill).
Amber became the poster child for program and her face became synonymous with Naughty. She inspired many would be Naughty List-ers to reform their ways. She finished her senior year homeschooled since she couldn’t face her classmates again. After graduating, she enrolled in online college courses.
Like the Grinch, that day in the barber’s chair Amber’s heart grew three sizes. Though initially strained, her relationship with her parents improved and they all valued their next trip to Mexico to build schools, away from all the technology.
Once her twelve months of haircuts were over she opted to continue getting horseshoe flattops as a constant reminder to do better. Instead of a scarlet letter A, it was her black letter U.
