Tacky and Upsetting
3
The ground was strewn with smouldering debris ejected from Business Tower. Halfway up the blue glass and steel skyscraper, fire raged from blown out windows as thick smoke billowed out across the city, drifting over rooftops of the smaller skyscrapers.
Firefighters traipsed out of the lobby, their uniforms dirtied with smoke, hoses snaking into the building below their feet.
Survivors were being loaded up on stretchers into waiting ambulances, while the walking wounded were led to safety by the police.
Super Brunette followed the fire fighters out and joined the Fire Chief who was leaning on the roof of his car, holding a radioset.
‘Super Brunette, what’s the latest? How we looking up there?’
She glanced up at the burning building. ‘We’ve doing all we can for the people trapped on the 39th floor. Red Fire is getting anybody out who’s still alive, but we can’t get anybody out via the elevators and or the stairs now, the fire has cut them all off. We’re going to have to fly up there and get them out what way. Black Mamba can scale the building and help lift people out, and we’ve got Goth Girl up there dealing with anybody who’s hysterical by dampening any emotional response they might have.’
‘Great job.’ He said. ‘We can try and control the fire the best we can and slow it down, but you’re going to have to work fast.’
‘Got it.’
Something in his face changed. ‘Oh, shit.’
Super Brunette knew that look anywhere. She turned round in time to witness Super Blonde land, hair flowing dramatically behind her. ‘What are you doing here? We told you to stay?’
‘Fulfilling my duty.’ She said in a low husky voice she only used when there were cameras around. She began walking towards the news crews who were a safe distance from the fire.
‘Jesus, Super Brunette, get her out of here.’ The Fire Chief said.
Super Blonde was talking to a news crew. ‘So, I have like this gross zit on the left side of my face today, so if you could try and only capture me being heroic on the other side that would be great.’
With a heavy knot of dread in her stomach, Super Brunette watched as Super Brunette came strutting back towards them. ‘OK, so using my powers of deduction, and my x-ray vision I see we have a fire.’
‘Yeah, no shit.’ The Fire Chief shot back. ‘You need to get out of here, lady.’
‘Well, if we weren’t screwed before, we are now.’ Goth Girl landed next to them. ‘What are you gonna do, Chloe? Show the fire your tits?’
‘Goth Girl, what are you doing down here?’ Super Brunette said, clearly stressed at managing two errant Super Girls at once.
‘Getting a Mountain Dew from across the street? It’s hot in there. There’s still people trapped who are probably gonna die and stuff, but I’m thirsty.’
‘We need to start lifting them out.’ Super Brunette told her. ‘Before the fire gets any worse.’
‘Whatever, I’ll do it in a minute. Super Blonde – go away.’ Tact was not one of Goth Girl’s super powers. She then looked up, startled for a second as Super Blonde flew towards the building.
‘Hey! Hey!’ Shouted the fire chief. ‘The hell are you doing? Oh shit, she’s going on the wrong side she’s gonna cause a backdraft.’
Seconds later a huge tongue of fire erupted from the windows, blowing out another set of windows from the floor that had been untouched previously.
‘Take cover!’ He yelled, as everyone, including Super Brunette and Goth Girl cowered by fire trucks and police cars, burning debris landing on the street around them.
‘Well, if she’s just killed a load of people at least I won’t have to save them. So, clouds and silver linings I guess.’ Goth Girl sounded upbeat for the first time that day.
Super Blonde landed, holding a charred piece of office equipment. ‘We’ve got a kid! I’ve rescued a kid!’ She shouted breathlessly. ‘Burned kid! Burned kid!’
‘Super Blonde,’ Super Brunette said wearily, deciding it was safe to stand again. ‘That’s a laminator.’
She looked down at the grey piece of charred plastic. ‘Oh. Well, in the smoke it looked like a kid.’
‘Yeah, if kids are grey, square, with Texet A2 written on them.’ Goth Girl said.
‘Get out of here!’ The Chief roared. ‘You’re putting the public at risk, you’re putting my men at risk, and you’re putting property at risk!’
‘I can put the laminator back if you want?’ She replied weakly.
‘NO!’ They all said at the same time.
‘Let me handle this, Chief.’ Super Brunette said out of the side of her mouth. Then, at a normal volume: ‘Hey, Super Blonde, we do need your help. Sorry for doubting you. Look, this is the problem. The Fire Department’s hoses aren’t quite long enough to reach the fire. If you go back home and get our hose, I think it will be long enough to reach. You would have saved the day, honestly. Isn’t that right?’ She nudged the Chief.
‘Oh. Yeah. Totally.’
‘No, it’s bullshit.’ They ignored Goth Girl.
‘The one we use to wash the car or the freaky weird coiled one for the garden?’ Super Blonde said, toying with her hair.
‘Both.’ Said the Chief. ‘Don’t worry if you need to take two trips, we can tell the fire to hold off.’
‘You can talk to fire? That’s so cool.’
‘Go!’ Urged Super Brunette. ‘The clock is ticking.’
Spurred on by her latest mission, Super Blonde reared into the sky, through the cloud of smoke, then past a news helicopter which she gave her best pouty, sultry look at as she passed. Once she settled at a cruising altitude, Super Blonde spoke into her Smart Watch. ‘OK, Super Girls. I’m ten minutes from HQ…Tell the fire to wait.’
In the distance something caught her eye. It was a small black dot to start with, but it was coming towards her, getting closer. Soon, the black dot sprouted wings. After a few seconds a menacing black aircraft came into view.
As she was thinking she might have to take action, it banked to her left, away from her line of vision. Weird. She’d been flying for a few years now and hadn’t seen anything quite like it before.
Then, she felt herself slow down. Super Blonde strained, trying to fly faster, but she kept getting slower. Something was dragging her back. Checking over her shoulder, she saw the menacing black aircraft was tailing her.
It’s nose cone had split open in four parts, and a long tube extended from it, with a funnel almost as wide as it was on the end of it.
It hung down below the aircraft, which reminded her of a scorpion, or some other predatory, gross black insect.
‘I might be delayed.’ She spoke into the watch. ‘I’ve got trouble.’ Using all the power she had, Super Blonde tried pulling away. It was no good. She was still going backwards.
Making another glance over her shoulder, she saw it getting closer, the funnel was now just a few meters away, and she could see each rivet on the aircraft.
She could feel her outfit pulling, stretching as the funnel tried sucking her in. The shrill wine of the jet’s engines was loud, making it hard to think.
Super Blonde gritted her teeth and tried flying harder, and a new sound joined in: the sound of tearing fabric. With a whipping and crackling sound, her cape was torn from her. She looked over just in time to see it disappear into the funnel. It was in touching distance with her feet. Now she felt the leotard straining.
‘Team!’ She yelled into the watch. ‘I need help! Mayday, mayday! Wardrobe malfunction imminent!’
No reply came. They must have been busy talking to the fire. Then:
RIIIIIIIIIIIP
The remains of her outfit lost their battle with the machine. It was stripped off her, peeling her like a banna. Super Blonde gasped, as her two enormous boobs bounced free in mid-flight. The effect of them wobbling around was enough to affect her level and steady flight she’d been maintaining. Instinctively, she put a hand across them and lost momentum.
She looked over her shoulder and saw it disappear into the funnel, seeing her own justice league themed panties with the wonder woman logo across the ass slip down past her knees and to her ankles, then hang onto the heel of her boots, fluttering like a tiny cape before – PHUT! They were sucked into the machine with the same sound a sock made when it got hoovered up.
Naked apart from her boots and watch, she was suddenly sucked back. In less than a second everything went black, and the outside world became a small bright, shrinking dot, then
THWAP!
She collided with something hard and rubbery, hitting her head. Super Blonde had just enough time to tell she was in some kind of giant rubber bag before she passed out.
4
When she regained consciousness, the first thing Super Blonde became aware of was pain – in her head. The memory of the machine sucking her in came back to her.
The next thing she became aware of was her nakedness, and hard plastic on bare ass. She opened one eye. The room around her slowly came into focus. It looked like a solar punk torture chamber. Gloss white walls, chrome fixtures, soft ambient lighting. A touchscreen mounted beside her chair displayed a rotating 3D model of her own head. Super Blonde tried sitting up, only to realise she couldn’t move properly. Her wrists were pinned to sleek white armrests by curved transparent restraints. The same restraints held her ankles apart at the base of the chair, giving whoever would come through the door in front of her a view of her neatly trimmed blonde bush.
‘Hey!’ She shouted. ‘What the fuck is this! Let me go!’
A soft electronic chiming sound came from an unseen speaker. ‘Welcome,’ It was followed by a soothing female voice. ‘Thank you for choosing Aesthetica for your next haircut. As the discipline mode has been selected, some features may not be available such as -’ the voice turned more robotic. ‘Choice.’ It returned to its soothing tone. ‘We hope you enjoy your experience with us, and return to us again.’
Panic set in. ‘Hey! Hey!’ she yelled again. When nobody came, she tried flying, breaking out of the restraints. Her ass lifted a centimeter from the seat but that was it. ‘Whoever you are you can’t keep me in here! I’m a Grade 7 Federal Hero!’
A mechanical whirring sound as the door slid open. Super Blonde wasn’t often speechless, but seeing Julio and Gabriel standing outside was not what she expected.
Even though they were gay, she felt extremely embarrassed to be naked. Super Blonde instinctively tried covering herself, but with her wrists pinned down all she could really do was tense her thighs together awkwardly.
‘I should have known it was Vito’s people after me. Don’t just stand there!’ she snapped. ‘Get me out of this thing, or I’m gonna get the whole team down here – and they’ll make you sorry you were born!’
‘You gonna call your buddies in with your watch?’ Julio said. ‘You’re shit outta luck, girlfriend.’ He dangled her watch in front of her then threw it on the floor, and stamped on it.
‘You bastards…’ she said softly.
‘I’m gonna tell Vito we’re ready.’ Julio left her with Gabriel who was staring at her boobs.
‘Hey, quit staring at my tits – my eyes are up here. I thought you were gay?’
‘I am, but even we love boobs. And those are some serious bazookas you got on you honey.’
‘When I get out of this thing, I swear I’m gonna kick you in the nuts so hard, they’re going disappear up your ass.’
‘Tough talk from somebody cuffed to a chair who’s about to get her head shaved.’
‘Wait – shaved? You can’t do that!’ She went cold with fear. ‘That’s not fair!’
The touchscreen beside Super Blonde chimed cheerfully.
‘Client stress levels elevated. Commencing calming lighting package.’
The ambient lights shifted from white to a soft lavender.
‘I DON’T WANT THE FUCKING CALMING LIGHT PACKAGE!’ She yelled. ‘Do you have any idea what will happen if you shave my head?’
‘I dunno? We laugh at you and call you names?
‘The government will come down on you hard, you’ll be finished, buster. This hair is technically government property. Where’s Vito?’
‘Well tell the government if they want it back, we’ll send it to them in a trash bag. And Vito’s waiting for you to be bald, so you can’t work your charms on him no more.’
‘We ready to go?’ Julio’s voice.
Gabriel knelt down in the doorway with a wicked smile, his eyes at bush height. ‘We’re ready to go…’ his voice trailed off. ‘Hey, Julio, get over here – you think the hair down there has the same power as well?’
Julio shrugged. ‘I guess so. Better do some landscaping after the haircut.’
‘Don’t you dare!’
They ignored her and Gabriel reached into The Pod.
‘What are you going?’ Julio asked.
‘Touching her hair.’ Gabriel tugged at and stroked her hair. ‘How many guys can say they’ve touched Super Blonde’s hair?’
She flinched pulling her head away.
‘So soft!’ He said. ‘But you know what, the roots are darker than I was expecting…sorta like a dirty blonde.’
‘Yeah, like her pussy.’ Julio added.
‘Oh my God!’ Super Blonde felt her cheeks burn. ‘What’s wrong with you freakazoids?’
Gabriel burst out laughing. ‘Freakazoids? Oh she’s rattled.’
You leave my body hair alone!’ Super Blonde snapped, trying unsuccessfully to pull her knees together another inch. “That is deeply violating!”
The Pod chimed pleasantly. ‘The body grooming package is available.’
A loading wheel appeared on the touchscreen beside her. She realised it was mirroring what Julio was inputting on the screen outside. He stroked his goatee thoughtfully.
Oh wow, look. It’s got Brazilian.’
‘I’m warning you…’
‘Landing strip?’
‘JULIO!’
‘Soul patch?’
Gabriel cackled, looking over Julio’s shoulder. ‘Nah, man. She needs the Hollywood.’
Super Blonde strained violently against the restraints again, the transparent cuffs creaking slightly as her breasts bounced with the effort. ‘When I get out of here I am going to fly you both into the fucking SUN!’
‘That’s adorable,’ Julio said. ‘You still think there’s gonna be a you after this, do you? You’re gonna be nothing without that sweet, sweet blonde silk on your head.’
Julio’s comment hit hard enough for her to be quiet for the first time since this kicked off.
‘OK,’ He continued. ‘We’re going with a full head shave,’ the machine beeped with his inputs. ‘Finishing with the foam and razor or the foil shaver? Which would you prefer?’
‘Go fuck yourself!’
‘I’ll go with foam and razor.’ He said casually, before looking over his shoulder at Gabriel. ‘Whatcha think? Treat her to a shampoo and blow dry first?’
Gabriel shrugged. ‘Why not?’
Another beep as Julio worked the screen. ‘And the Hollywood wax.’ He sounded like he was ordering a McDonald’s.
The Pod gave another cheerful chime, and an arm with two two nozzles attached extended down from an aperture in the ceiling.
‘Oh my God.’ She whispered, feeling truly helpless for the first time in her life.
‘This thing actually gives pretty good washes,’ Gabriel said.
‘Yeah, and I let it do my highlights once.’ Julio admitted.
The machine jetted warm water into Super Blonde’s hair, and it splashed around the white walls of The Pod, wetting her skin, soaking everything. Then, the second nozzle began its work, dowsing her in berry scented shampoo. She flicked her head around, trying to get the strands of soapy hair out of her eyes.
A higher pitched whirring sound came from the aperture: a robotic hand was lowering itself, then immediately started to gently massage her scalp, working the suds into her.
‘You know what this reminds me of?’ Asked Julio.
‘What?’ Gabriel replied.
‘My Mom’s poodle when it goes to the groomers.’
‘Can you please stop giving a running commentary?’ She asked.
‘You know something,’ Julio continued. ‘The poodles a lot better behaved than Super Blonde. Whines less’
The hand finished its work, before she was doused with another shot of warm water. The suds ran down her shoulders, boobs, between her thighs and down her legs.
In the small mirrors either side of the door, she saw her long blonde strands looked darker now, heavy and wet against her shoulders and boobs. Without the volume and styling, something already looked wrong. Smaller and more human.
Less like a superhero.
The next part of the process was the blowdry, where a hairdryer on a mechanical arm kept rotating around her head. It left her hair dry and poofy, but not in her normal style.
Now cold, with her body damp, Super Blonde felt her nipples harden as the door began sliding shut with a mechanical whirring sound. ‘By Super Bitch.’ Said Gabriel, while Julion waved. They both cackled as the door sealed her inside.
Now she was faced with a full frontal version of herself in the mirror – naked, legs spread, but with fluffy blow dried hair.
The next phase began immediately.
Whirring almost silently from the overhead aperture came a new attachment – this time, and unguarded hair clipper. They weren’t salon clippers, they looked almost industrial. Chrome and black, with broad vibrating teeth that buzzed with a deep, angry hum.
Super Blonde’s stomach dropped. ‘No…’ she whispered.
The arm rotated delicately, almost elegantly, positioning the clipper directly over the centre of her forehead.
‘Please…’ she said, hating how small her voice sounded. ‘Please don’t…’ As if the machine would hear her and take pity. They approached her forehead, and she moved her head left and right, ducking and twisting, trying to avoid them, but they kept pace with her perfectly – there was no avoiding them.
BZZZZZZZZZT.
The clipper hit the middle of her forehead, and seemed to tickle her hair before actually digging in and getting to work.
Super Blonde jerked violently against the restraints as the machine carved a thick white path straight through the centre of her blonde crown. She screamed, involuntary and shrill.
‘No, no, no, no! This isn’t happening! This isn’t haaaappppppeeennning!’
The sound was horrific up close. A deep mechanical chewing noise as years of carefully maintained blonde length vanished in seconds.
The clipper drove steadily backward over the crown of her head. In the mirror, she watched a pale stripe appear from forehead to crown, exposing skin that hadn’t seen the sun since she was a baby.
By the time the clipper reached the back of her head, a huge swathe of blonde hair slid down around her shoulders and into her lap,
Super Blonde stared at herself. Then screamed again. There was no going back, and her famous hair had been irrevocably damaged.
‘OH MY GOD!’
It sheared another path down the middle of her head, widening the strip, then another, then another. It was happening so fast.
Her glamorous blonde mane hung in ridiculous disconnected sections around the rapidly widening bald stripe.
The machine repositioned itself beside her right temple.
BZZZZZZZT.
Another massive section disappeared, and thick blonde locks cascaded over her bare shoulder and boobs before sliding into her lap. Some strands stuck against her damp skin.
The Pod worked with terrifying efficiency, methodically shearing her section by section. Soon, her right, shell-like ear was exposed.
The floor around the chair slowly vanished beneath piles of blonde hair.
Super Blonde’s breathing became ragged, and the clippers began making downward strokes down the back of her head.
‘Nooooooo,’ her voice collapsed into tears. She hadn’t heard herself cry like that since she was 11 years old. Tears spilled down her cheeks while the machine continued dismantling her identity with mechanical indifference.
The clipper made it to the left side of her head, working towards her ear from the back. Huge chunks slid down over her breasts and stomach.
One long blonde lock caught briefly across her nipple before slipping away between her legs. Another pass erased the left side, apart from some thin, sad strands of blonde by her ears, which The Pod wiped out before the clippers retracted back into the ceiling, leaving her with dirty blonde stubble.
For a second, there was silence.
Super Blonde sat there panting, tears streaking down her face, make up running, staring at the woman in the mirror.
Or what was left of her.
‘No…’ she whispered weakly. Things like this didn’t happen to her. She was a hero. Heroes always won.
Two more nozzles unfolded from the ceiling.
The first, spraying warm water across her scalp. The sensation made her flinch violently. The water hit differently now. Then came the foam. A thick glob of shaving cream was deposited on the centre of her scalp with a wet splat, before the nozzles were replaced by the robotic hand again. Cool mechanical fingers worked the cream into the rough stubble in slow circular motions.
When her whole scalp was covered with the white cream, yet another arm came whirring down. This one had a razor attachment. It was a five bladed one, the kind she shaved her legs with.
Super Blonde’s stomach clenched so hard it hurt as she waited.
It touched down, then slowly got to work. Unlike the clippers, the razor dragged. The blades scraped through the cream with a thick wet sound, removing the remaining stubble completely. Behind it, her scalp emerged smooth, pale and shiny under the Pod lights.
The robotic hand tilted her head gently side to side as it worked around the curves of her skull.
The sensation was awful – not painful, but just wrong.
When the razor passed over her crown she actually saw the shape of her head for the first time in her life.
Tears dripped steadily off her chin, and The Pod chimed and spoke again.
‘You appear to be experiencing an emotional response. Would you like me to send you details of a therapist in your area?’
‘Fuck you.’ She answered back.
The hand gently folded her ears back as the razor slipped around them. By the time the final pass came, the razor was simply polishing her. Long slow strokes over already bald skin, as it erased every last trace of her hair.
At last, the arm retracted.
Warm water rinsed the remaining foam away.
Then air dryers descended silently from above, blowing across her naked body and freshly shaved scalp.
Super Blonde stared forward blankly. It was her – she knew it was her, but she still didn’t accept it. Maybe she would wake up and this was a dream? And if it wasn’t, maybe her super powers would make her hair grow back quicker? That was it – she would be fine – this was temporary.
The Pod chimed again. ‘Commencing body grooming package.’ It said cheerfully.
Super Blonde’s eyes widened. For a moment she’d genuinely forgotten. Then she looked down, directly between her spread thighs. The restraints on her ankles shifted another few inches with quiet mechanical precision, forcing her legs open even further.
The touchscreen beside her lit again:
HOLLYWOOD SELECTED
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING AESTHETICA.
‘I DIDN’T CHOOSE IT!’
The Pod ignored her.
Another articulated arm descended from the ceiling. This one ended in a squat white attachment. A single drop of wax dropped from it.
Super Blonde felt fresh panic hit her chest. This was going to hurt – you were meant to trim the hair down there first.
‘Leave that! Don’t you dare!’
Warm wax drizzled onto her, soaking through her pubic hair.
Super Blonde instinctively tried closing her legs, but the restraints held them open.
The humiliation of simply lying there while a machine worked between her legs was almost unbearable. Getting her head shaved was one thing, but this was more intimate. She could feel tears threatening again immediately.
The arm retracted away again, and left her on her own, before another chime.
‘Would you like to listen to some music while you wait for the wax to set?’ It asked politely.
‘Will you shut up!’ She shouted.
As a last ditch attempt at freedom, she thrashed against the restraints again, but they were just as unyielding as before. What if she tried powering up? Superblonde stared into her own blue eyes in the mirror, and tried glowing. Nothing happened, and the power up didn’t come. She strained, clenching her whole body and only managed to make her face go red and herself out of breath.
A cold dread soaked through her. She’d lost her powers, not just her hair.
Then – the mechanical hand returned, snaking down towards her vagina.
‘Get away from me!’ She said as if it would be intimidated.
It wasn’t. It’s fingers pinched hold of the wax at the area between her legs, close to the seatbase.
‘Oh no…’ She whimpered. ‘If I’d known this was going to happen I’d have taken pain relief before.’ Super Blonde tensed at the first hint of movement. It was slow at first, dragging it out. She winced, feeling individual hairs being pulled out before it tugged violently at her.
Super Blonde screamed, her own shrill cry filling the tiny confines of The Pod, as a red hot sting, like nothing she’d ever felt before spread across her pussy. ‘Mmmmmmotherfffffffucker!’
The hand lifted away a triangle of blonde pubes before dropping it on the floor, with the rest of her hair before it pulled away.
Panting in pain she looked at her poor bare pussy in the mirror, which was slowly turning red. She didn’t see what guys saw in waxed or shaved pussies, Super Blonde thought she looked like a plucked chicken down there.
As she was adjusting to her new look, the door slid open. Julio and Gabreiel were waiting for her.
For a moment neither of them said anything.
Gabriel’s eyes travelled slowly from her bald head, to her tearstained face, down over her naked body restrained spread-legged in the chair. Then he let out a low whistle and laughed.
‘Daaaaamn…I don’t even recognise you.’
Julio actually looked taken aback, and a little guilty. ‘Holy shit.’
Super Blonde immediately tried to turn away from them, but there was nowhere to go. The restraints kept her facing forward like some kind of showroom display under the lights of the pod.
‘You look like a giant bald baby,’ Julio said, then added cruelly. ‘Looks like you’ve been crying like one too.’
Gabriel snorted with laughter, then tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘Hold up.’
Julio frowned. ‘What?’
Gabriel pointed. ‘The eyebrows.’
Both men stared at her face.
Super Blonde’s stomach dropped instantly. ‘Oh, come on!’
Julio folded his arms. ‘You think her powers could still be in those?’
‘They’re not.’ Super Blonde, hearing her own panic.
Julio looked back toward the touchscreen. ‘Vito said don’t take chances.’
‘No, listen to me!’ She strained against the restraints again. ‘The powers are gone! I tried powering up! Nothing happened!’
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. ‘Convenient.’
‘I’m serious!” She sounded desperate now, and knew it. ‘You shaved my head and it killed them! That was the source!’
Julio looked uncertain for a second. ‘Maybe she’s telling the truth…’
Then Super Blonde tried something. The pout. Even bald, tearstained and naked, she tilted her head slightly and widened her blue eyes at Gabriel. That worked on everyone.
Gabriel’s expression softened immediately. ‘Aw…’
Julio pointed at her. ‘See?! SEE?’
Gabriel snapped out of it. ‘You’re right. She’s still a danger.’
‘They need to go.’ Julio said firmly.
Super Blonde looked horrified, realising she’d just signed her own death warrant. ‘But the powers are gone -’ she strained, trying to glow. ‘Look – nothing!’
‘Yeah, yeah, whatever.’ Julio programmed the machine.
The eyebrows felt catastrophic. ‘You can’t do this to me! I’ll look insane!’
‘You already look insane,’ Gabriel said.
‘I’ll look like a cancer patient.’
Even Julio winced slightly at that. ‘That isn’t very nice, especially coming from somebody who used to go round kids hospitals handing out balloons.’
She thought of the hundreds of balloons they had ordered in bulk. They all had a picture of her on them, and would now be out of date.
It was then the door closed again for the final insult.
The mechanical hand returned, this time with two small wax strips instead of the hot wax. They laid them over her well sculped brows, and then – rip! – the left one was gone – rip! – the right one was gone. The strips fluttered to the floor, leaving her browless, with two shiny arches where they used to be. Somehow that changed her face more than losing her hair.
The door opened again, and this time Vito and Luca had joined Gabriel and Julio.
Vito was quiet, looking at her, taking her in, before tipping his head back and roaring with laughter. Luca didn’t look so amused. Guilty, upset even.
‘My, my,’ he said once he’d finished his laughing fit. ‘How the mighty have fallen…’ He took a step closer. ‘You’re trapped Super Blonde! Watcha gonna do? Glow at us? Stun us with your beauty? Do something! We’re waiting…Pathetic.’ He paused to light a cigar, and tossed the cut off end into her hair. ‘The guys were right, you do have a pretty impressive set of melons on you…They real?’
‘Of course they’re real!’ she snapped.
‘I should have known, fake ones don’t drop like that. How did you fit ‘em into your outfit? Put some copperslip on ‘em?’
She felt the heavy weight of humiliation on her, having her body appraised like she was a second car on a dealer’s lot, and Vito was going through all of the faults.
‘It’s a funny thing how much hair can change a woman…You know I thought you were pretty fine before this, now…You look like one of those hairless cats or something. Just plain wrong.’
‘Dad…’ Luca began. ‘There’s no need to roast her. She gets the message.’
‘There’s every need.’ He jabbed at her with the cigar. ‘You know how much trouble this broad has caused me? She’s a pest. Nothing more.’
A fifth man joined. He looked nerdy, with greasy long hair and a double chin. ‘Hi,’ He said, waving. ‘I flew the drone. Sorry.’
Vito looked at him with a “is this guy for real” expression. ‘This is Dan.’ He said eventually. ‘Our tech guy.’
‘Look, uhh, I know you’re probably mad at me, but you were always my favorite Super Girl. I used to go to expos to see the girls cosplaying as you…And at home I’ve got a waifu body pillow of you.’ He said it like it was something to be proud of.
‘Dan, shut up.’ Luca said. ‘You’re making her feel uncomfortable.’
‘Yeah, because I was super comfortable being naked in front of five weird guys with my head shaved.’ She replied. ‘You creeps.’
‘Sorry,’ Dan began, ‘Well, if it makes you feel any better, I still think you’re hot.’
Vito shrugged. ‘Beggers can’t be choosers, I guess.’
‘Well done guys. You did it. You got Super Blonde. You better hope I don’t get my powers any time soon because you are all toast!’ she felt anger rise in her chest, as her rant built up.
Vito puffed on the cigar. ‘That’s an issue. And I can’t take the risk. So Dan here did some work on the machine for me.’
She didn’t like the sound of that. ‘What kind of work?’
Vito smiled smugly. ‘I’ve always wanted to say this…Freaking laser beams!’
The thought of being bald for life made a horrible sense of bottomless dread open up inside of her. For the first time since this nightmare began, Super Blonde genuinely felt sick.
‘No…’ she said quietly. ‘No, you can’t—’
‘Actually,’ Dan interrupted awkwardly, pushing his glasses up his nose, ‘You totally can. Hair follicles are surprisingly vulnerable to concentrated thermal—’
‘Dan.’ Vito grunted. ‘Spare us the lecture.’
‘Right. Sorry.’
Vito grinned around the cigar. ‘See, that’s why I keep him around. Little goblin understands science.’
Super Blonde’s eyes darted toward the ceiling of the Pod. Panels were opening above her. Something inside them glowed faintly red.
‘Wait wait wait— hold on—’
The Pod chimed pleasantly. ‘Commencing laser epillation. Warning: results may be permanent.’
Luca stepped forward now, clearly uncomfortable. ‘Dad, seriously. She’s already neutralised.’
‘Temporary neutralised,’ Vito corrected. ‘Big difference.’
‘But permanently removing her hair— Dad, that’s too much. Look at her, we’ve broken her.
‘Luca.’ His Dad was firm. ‘Come on. Look at me. What if she gets her powers back in six months? You think she’s not coming back? She’s lucky we didn’t kill her.
‘Please,’ she said quietly. Then, hating herself for going this low. ‘If you don’t zap me…I’ll work for you.’ She glanced up again, and the laser was getting redder.
‘That would be pretty cool. I’d like having her around, I’d work with her.’ Dan said.
Vito slammed him across the back of his head. ‘Nobody asked you for your opinion.’
The red glow above Super Blonde intensified. ‘Pleeeeease!’ She pleaded. Super Blonde looked upward in horror. Now an arm with the laser attached to it began moving towards her.
‘The thing is Super Blonde, I can respect Super Heroes. It’s nothing personal. You’re just in the way. If you rescued my Mama from a burning building, you’d be my friend for life. But you’re talking about betraying your friends. And I can never respect traitors. Sorry, doll. You’re getting turned into a cueball for life.’
Then:
TSSST.
A tiny pulse of heat struck the centre of her scalp.
She yelped. It was like being flicked by something boiling hot.
Then another.
TSSST.
TSSST.
TSSST.
The Pod methodically moved across her shaved scalp, firing tiny pulses into the exposed follicles, and she smelled burning hair.
‘Nooooooo!’
Each little zap felt like another nail in the coffin.
Vito watched calmly while Julio and Gabriel winced. Luca had to look away, and Dan was openly staring at her boobs.
‘You know what the funny part is?’ Vito flicked some ash into the floor. ‘You’re probably safer this way. No more screwing up rescues, no more putting the other Super Girls in danger. You’re losing your powers, and it’s no loss to absolutely anybody. Welcome to being a normal human.’
His last line broke Super Blonde. She started to ugly cry, as head was singed by the laser, as it erased the last possibility of ever becoming herself again.
‘We don’t need to see the whole show.’ Vito turned away. ‘Julio, get some coffees and doughnuts while The Pod fries this stupid bitch.’
The doors began to close. ‘I hope you choke!’ She shouted through her tears as the doors closd on her.
TSSST.
TSSST.
TSSST.
The smell of singed follicles thickened the air while Super Blonde cried silently in the chair, her bald scalp prickling with every tiny pulse of heat.
Eventually even the tears dried up.
When the final laser pass completed, the Pod gave one last cheerful chime.
‘Thank you for choosing Aesthetica.’
The restraints released with a series of soft clicks.
For a moment Super Blonde didn’t move. She just sat there staring at herself in the mirror. Only the smeared make up reminded her of who she used to be. Her scalp was red and irritated looking, and smooth as her vagina.
The doors slid open again. This time only Vito and Luca were there. Vito carried a white cardboard box under one arm and a coffee in the other. Luca looked uncomfortable the second he saw her.
‘You alive?’ Vito asked casually.
Super Blonde looked at him. There was no fire left in her expression now. ‘Go to hell.’
‘Probably eventually I will.’ He set the box down beside the Pod. ‘Your stuff.’
She climbed shakily out of the chair, through her hair which felt like a luxurious carpet, then felt something catch on her heel. The wax. She saw clumps of her own pubic hair stuck to them. Red-faced with humiliation, Super Blonde awkwardly scraped the strips loose against the floor before snatching up the remains of her outfit from the box. Or what remained of it.
The leotard had been torn almost completely down the front when the drone sucked her in. One sleeve hung loose by threads. The cape was a shredded mess, and the whole thing looked soiled and dirty.
Her famous costume looked pathetic now. Like a Halloween outfit found in a gutter.
Slowly she pulled it on anyway, doing her best to gather it around her boobs. The outfit now felt fraudulent. Without the hair, the glow, and her powers, the costume suddenly looked ridiculous. The huge gold “SB” emblem across her chest now felt embarrassing. Like she was cosplaying herself.
Vito watched her dress calmly, sipping his coffee. ‘Crazy, huh?’
She ignored him.
‘All that branding,’ he continued. ‘All that merch. Lunchboxes. Balloons. TV appearances.’ His eyes drifted over her bald scalp. ‘And underneath it all you’re just some lady – not that you look ladylike anymore.’
Super Blonde clenched her jaw.
Luca stepped forward holding something out awkwardly. A black beanie hat. ‘Here.’
‘Thanks.’ She said listlessly, then put it on, pulling it down low to hide her lack of brows.
Vito headed toward the warehouse exit. ‘Alright. Out.’
‘That’s it?’ she asked weakly.
‘What else you want? A ride home?’
The shutter door at the far end of the warehouse began rattling upward. Cool evening air flooded in.
‘I can’t go out there looking like this…’
‘Sure you can,’ Vito said. ‘You got legs. You can’t fly no more, so you better get used to walking.’ The shutter fully opened. Vito pointed outward with his cigar. ‘Go on then, cueball. Beat it.’
Dazed, and feeling a sense of unreality, like it didn’t really happen, she staggered out onto the concrete compound, and looked out over the docks. They shimmered with the lights of the city. She walked along the edge of dockyard wall, past the warehouse and out to the city.
The skyscrapers were glittering in the night, and normally she’d be preparing to be rushing towards them in flight.
How could her hair stop her from flying? What if she tried really hard? Super Blonde jumped, one hand up in the air the other at her hip. She managed a foot before her feet hit the floor again.
She made a pitiful sob, knowing she’d never fly again. As she began walking towards the distant city, she heard a voice.
‘Hey, Super Blonde.’ It was Dan.
‘I don’t want to hear it. Leave me alone.’
‘Chloe! I just want to talk to you.’
She stopped. Super Blonde guessed she was going to have to get used to being called Chloe, now she wasn’t super, or blonde. Turning around, she saw Dan emerging from a side door of the warehouse.
‘Oh, hey.’ She said with sarcastic casualness. ‘Pleased you finally got to see real life tits and a girl’s vagina? You can tell all your friends online!’
‘Yeah, uh, that was pretty cool, I won’t lie. But I’m sorry, OK? Like, really, really sorry. Like I said, I’m actually a fan.’
‘If you’re such a big fan, asshole, why did you let them do this?’ She took off the hat and slapped her own head. ‘I can’t fly anymore, I can’t use my powers anymore, I’m going to look like a worm or a circumcised dick for the rest of my life, really weird fan behavior, Dan.’
‘Keep it down,’ He hissed. ‘I shouldn’t be talking to you. And actually, you’re still hot.’
She put the hat back on, and planted her hands on her hips. ‘What do you want?’ She said quietly.
Tentatively, he took a step forwards. ‘If I didn’t help Vito get you, I’d be in the sea wearing concrete shoes. I didn’t want to do it, ok?’
‘Whatever, I don’t hate you quite as much as the others.’ she turned and started to walk away.
‘Hey,’ He ran to catch up. ‘I just need to warn you about something. The Super Girls – they’re not your friends.’
She stopped walking. ‘The Super Girls are totally my friends, Dan! We’ve been through a lot together, OK?’
‘I was able to track your flight. But how do you think I was able to get the drone to you so quickly? I knew you were about to leave Business Tower, Chloe. Vito has an informant. You were betrayed.’
