BarbersChoice
99% True Story – Names altered only to protect… Appointment time 7:30 pm last night.
I walked over after watching my gal Renee’ go from a slightly out-of-shape Pixie, tucked behind her ears, messy on her neckline – to me, a hot mess – to a shorter Pixie, cropped into a shorter, over-the-ear old lady type haircut. The bangs were still somewhat intact, although shorter, but the rest was damn short.
The cut reminded me of a conservative businessman’s cut of the past, skin not showing, but really close….
The stylist (Carol) walked off to take a personal call – which gave me a minute to walk over. I could see the rage in her face from the lobby.
“God damn it – she took me way too short, I mean, there’s barely anything left on top. I mean look at this. I fucking hate it. This is the last fucking time, I swear to God.”
Renee continued to tussle, pull, and fluff any length left on the crown area and over the ear. No use. Her once longer messy Pixie was now on the floor and in her lap.
“Baby, I had no idea she would take you this short. I mean, what did you tell her before she started cutting? Obviously she didn’t listen,” I said as I tried placing my hand gently on her nape.
“Get your fucking hand off me, motherfucker. I hope you’re fucking happy. This is the last fucking time, I mean the last fucking time I’m cutting my hair for you. You can get pissed all you want – I’m tired of this shit. Look at some of the people in here staring – I mean, I look so fucking stupid”
“Babe, I’m sorry. I told you I just like the back clippered tight. I mean, she didn’t really even cut any back there. It’s still too…..”
“I fucking hate your ass – too fucking long? I swear you are a dickhead. God damn you. I can’t believe you sometimes…”
“Well, she’s coming back over. I’m sorry you hate it, babe. I’ll be in the car when you finish.”
I walked off as Renee gave me the look of death. She looked up to see me pass by Carol, the stylist that was recommended when I made the reservation earlier in the week. * We spoke for a few seconds and I walked out. You see, I had pressured Renee’ into going shorter and, “to shut me up,” she told me to “make the fucking reservation and pay for it” – indeed I did!
Our vehicle was parked in front of the salon. I had a perfect view as I began to process her disgust and wonder how I would recover from this.
At least at this point it was over. I watched as Carol used the blow dryer to style and fluff what little hair was left. Only her bangs were longer than an inch or so.
Even as I watched, I was still somewhat displeased – the nape area, though shorter, wasn’t ideal in my eyes. But at this point, I was NOT going to push the issue.
As she finished and hung the dryer back on the rack, she began combing Renee’s hair straight down, confirming it was indeed flat and short. I knew Renee’ fucking hated it flat. She was always teasing and fluffing it. It had thinned some over the ears, and she was super sensitive about it – as most women would be about thinning hair and turning a bit gray.
As she sat in the chair, Carol walked off and Renee was now literally looking at me through the front window of the shop. It was a dreary day, so the light and view were clear – it was only 10 feet or so.
Then it happened…
The cape was removed and a barber’s tissue was wrapped around her neck. Cape reapplied and, after 6 or 7 pumps of the chair, Carol turned the chair – Renee’s nape now in full view.
The command must have been stern, as Renee’s head dropped in her lap. I could see the stylist with a set of clippers – now pressing down on her crown. Up and down, up and down, she ran the clippers, switching guards a dozen or so times. I literally shit my pants!
After a few minutes, I had to get a first hand look, I needed to hear the sound of the clippers plowing up her nape. I hurried back in the salon and walked over just near enough for a view from the back – only a few feet away.
“This will really give it that inverted look, the nape down to skin – fading into the front, such an edgy look for you girl” as Carol pressed up and down with the clippers. Although they weren’t the big Oster 76’s that I’ve dreamed of – they were loud and in charge.
I could see her nape clippered from high on top down to completely bald at the neckline. To make matters worse, I could see the hairline was shaved bald, the fade starting about mid-ear. Holy shit!
I escaped back to the car…
And finally, she was looking right at me from the chair – and I could see the anger in her eyes. And as if Carol was now “Team Carol” she pressed her head down and used he foil shaver to I assume – take it smooth bald. I must admit, I fucking love seeing my gal – head pressed down, getting sheared…
Finally, I saw Carol spinning the chair, using a mirror to reveal the final cut. A ceremonial hug and Renee walked over to pay. Several minutes passed when Renee opened the car door and threw a bag in my direction.
“Fucking $195.00 to get fucking scalped and get pressured into buying fucking hair products. Hell, I have no fucking hair thanks to you – you motherfucker – I fucking hate you”
On the way back I couldn’t help but admire her work – I mean her clippered nape was absolute perfection. From a bald neckline only to maybe a #3 at the crown, not a single chard of hair out of place.
I did not say a word the entire drive home. The fuck-you’s and the threats were intense and, while maybe deserving, I could only take so much.
“Babe, I think you look fucking stunning. I mean, not many women can pull off a cut like that and honestly, most of them wish they could.”
A few minutes passed.
What in the hell did you tell her – I fucking saw you talking to her when you walked out, I mean she came back in and fucking shaved my fucking neck – WTF did you say?”
I didn’t respond.
“I just wanted a little more around here, and on top. I mean, I can live with the back being shaved – I don’t see it. But the sides and front – I mean, I practically went bald!”
That night the sex was – well, you tell me?
“Yes baby, yes – You can keep the back clippered tight, babe, but don’t you think you’ll love my Fuck Me bangs when they grow?” Renee yelped as she held the bed rail with one hand, rubbing her sheared nape with the other. One thing my little nymphomaniac could never resist – 9 inches of pleasure!
“Tell me you fucking love it babe, tell me you love it” I said by now I was at the point of abuse – but she kept coming at me.
I mean rubbing her bald ass nape as she rode me like a damn rodeo bull was fucking awesome – even after this many years together…
We regrouped this morning, the apologies rang out again from my end. While preparing a cup of coffee I walked up from behind and with a slight whisper.
“I swear that bald ass nape of yours adds another inch on Ole’ Bo,” I said reaching down cupping her bald snatch.
“Sounds good baby – Cause I got those 76’s coming today from Amazon – all the guards too – gonna need regular trims from now on.”
(Ok – the above sentence is complete bullshit)
She simply dropped her head as I massaged her neck – The rest we will keep private.
* And by the way – brief conversation in passing with Carol –
She’ll be out in a minute, sorry, my son is giving me fits at home right now – I just need to clean up the nape and we’ll be done.” Carol said.
“No worries and yea she really loves the bald taper neckline- I think that’s why they recommended you when she made the appointment – you’re not afraid to take it short”
