Girls Embarrassment ep1 – Blondes Have More Fun

In the 2010s, one of the most controversial shows ever made appeared on a popular streaming service. The show: Girls’ Embarrassment.

The premise was simple. Contestants,  women aged between 18 and 30, but sometimes older, would compete a series of challenges and dares, all designed to be humiliating to a greater degree than the last.

Sometimes, if it was a larger group, all they would have to do was each go naked and get their heads shaved.

After the first show aired, a blaze of moral outrage burned on social media, on blogs, and on chat shows.

But because the show’s parent streaming service, Netfilms was a privately owned company, those expressing outrage could do nothing to cancel it.

It made Netfilms serious money, and the UK-hosted show was enormously popular all-over the world with male audiences, making it one of the most-watched, highly grossing TV shows of its format in the world.

All the time it made money, no amount of blog posts in the world were ever going to shut it down.

But still, Girl’s Embarrassment always bubbled up to the surface of public debate, even becoming a topic of conversation in Parliament. 

One Conversative MP was forced to resign after weighing into the discussion, calling it “one of Britain’s most successful ever imports” and causing an uproar from Labour, and even his own party for stating: “if it’s so demeaning to women, then they should stop lining up in their hundreds, year after year, to go on it”.

The show’s host, Sammy Packham, had received death threats for his treatment of contestants, while on the other hand was loved, and even something of a poster boy for the show’s fans. Sammy Packer stickers appeared on, cars, vans and pencil cases, getting people dismissed from their jobs and expelled from schools.

Girl’s Embarrassment was a cultural juggernaut which ended careers, provided ammunition to culture wars and showed no signs of slowing down.

**

 

   Amanda sat cross legged on the living room floor, trying to ignore the pizza boxes and empty glasses as she studied. 

She had to wonder what plan her housemates, Flo and Iona had for their studies. So far, revision seemed to mean curling up on the sofa under blankets and watching re-runs of The Big Bang Theory for those two.

Iona was painting her nails a lurid aquamarine, while Flo scrolled on her phone. 

       ‘Ugh.’ She let go of the phone. ‘Herpasurus wants to go out out tonight.’

    Amanda blinked. ‘Herpasurus?’

    ‘Alice.’ Explained Iona. ‘It’s our new nickname for her.’

    Flo threw the blanket off her. ‘We’re really not letting her live those results down.’ 

    ‘Awwh.’ Amanda closed her notebook. ‘Don’t be horrible. She can’t help it.’ 

    ‘Uhh, yes she can.’ Said Flo. ‘By not sleeping with anything with a pulse and taking better care of herself.’

Amanda looked down. Flo was right. She did have a point. Alice could try harder to keep herself healthy.

   ‘Can I say something horrible?’ Flo said. ‘She’s so desperate she would probably sleep with anything. Maybe she got it off a homeless guy or something. God, she’s a weirdo.’ Flo shuddered. ‘Why the hell did we let her move in here?’

   ‘No, she’s not weird,’ Iona pointed a freshly painted nail at Flo, ‘Just her fashion sense is quirky.’

   Flo raised her eyebrows.

  Amanda looked down and smiled to herself. Alice did have a unique dress sense. She dressed like she lived in the 1950s, trolling vintage sales for her wardrobe. 

   ‘Only because she doesn’t have an interesting enough personality.’

    ‘Flo, that’s mean.’ Said Amanda. 

   ‘Well it’s true!’ Flo was the kind of girl who never had to compete for male attention, looking like she had walked right out of every male masturbatory fantasy. Long, light natural blonde hair reached halfway down her back. She even had that gap-toothed Georgia Jagger grin.

   Iona put the lid back on the nail polish. ‘So are we going out to tonight or what?’

   ‘If I get everything, done, why not?’ Amanda said. 

   ‘I don’t want to baby sit Herpasurus Rex somewhere and I can’t afford it, not tonight.’ Flo stood up and started to pick up pizza boxes. ‘It smells of regret in here, it’s disgusting.’ 

  ‘I thought you were loaded?’ Iona started to skip through channels on the TV. 

‘My parents are.’ Flo corrected her. ‘And they’re not sending me anymore money until my next student loan.’

 

The three of them had all grown up in very different circumstances, and had very different attitudes to money.

Iona was careful with her money, Flo immediately burned through it all the moment it landed in her account, Amanda tracked her expenses with a spreadsheet. But none of them ever seemed to have enough cash for anything. 

 It amused Amanda how different Flo and Iona were. They looked similar, both had natural blonde hair and perfect skin. Iona was perhaps more delicate looking. Her eyes were rounded and doe-like, apposed to Flo’s, which always had a dirty quality them, like she was mulling over a pervy thought.

A door slammed, making the walls the shake. 

   ‘That’s her back.’ Flo had a good excuse to leave the room – she was tidying up, and got out a few seconds before Alice came into the lounge.

Her brown hair was big, thick, but dry looking. Her averagely attractive features enhanced by clownish make up and bright red lipstick, and her eyes, which always seemed to have a crazed look in them were behind round tortoise shell glasses. 

She sat down next to Iona, close enough for their legs to touch. Iona shuffled away as much as she could without falling out of the chair. One trait Alice had was a tendency to invade other’s personal space.

She reached for a slice of cold pizza, her bracelets jangling on her arm.

Alice took a bite, and looked at Amanda and Iona, chewing and smiling.

   ‘So,’ she spoke with her mouth open. ‘We going out tonight?’

   ‘I don’t think anybody’s got any money.’ Amanda gathered her things up and sat on an armchair, with her legs tucked under her. 

    ‘I thought Flo was a rich bitch.’ Alice did some half-arsed rendition of a gang sign with her hand, which nobody laughed or even smiled at. 

  ‘Nah,’ Iona studied her nails. ‘Spent it all on vodka.’

  ‘What are we watching?’ Said Alice. 

‘There’s nothing on.’ Iona put the remote down but Alice picked it up again.

  ‘Look on Netfilms then. There’s normally some shit worth watching.’

She loaded up the streaming service, which instantly tried pushing its most popular shows on them. Alice scrolled through them.

One advert caught Amanda’s attention: it showed a close up of the chrome teeth of some hair clippers, with a woman’s shocked face reflected in them.

  ‘Oh,’ Alice paused her scrolling. ‘It’s that Girl’s Embarrassment thing.’ 

  ‘Uuh.’ Iona creased her cute puppy dog nose. ‘That’s so wrong. Just no.’

  ‘I don’t know how it’s allowed.’ Amanda added. 

Flo returned from the kitchen, a bottle of wine in her hands.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. ‘It’s only four.’

   ‘Square.’ Replied Flo. Then she saw what was on the TV and had an almost identical reaction to Iona. ‘That programme makes me feel dirty. The guy who presents is a creep, too.’

Sammy Packham was an arrogant sleaze ball who liked to talk down to the contestants. He made Amanda nauseous.

   ‘You know you can get really good money on that show don’t you?’ Alice said, clicking on the advert.

   Amanda looked up and saw screenshots from it on the screen.

They showed a photo of two women, one bald, one with long blonde hair, and both with their hands over their breasts, just knickers on their bottom halves. Another picture showed a woman in her 40s crying, halfway through having her head shaved with clippers.

  Iona made a retching noise. ‘That show is sick.’

Alice shrugged. She took another bite of pizza.

Flo sat down next to Iona, making Alice budge up to end of the sofa. Flo and Iona were close enough so that their legs were touching, while Flo left a gap between her and Alice. ‘You know that pizza is two days old, right?’

  ‘It still tastes good to me. So if we’re all so broke, why don’t we apply to go on it?’ Alice asked.

They all exchanged glances. Amanda had a horrible sinking feeling. Was she suggesting they…?

    ‘We could all really use the money.’ Flo sipped her wine. ‘But also, no.’

‘C’mon, take a risk. Don’t all be so vanilla.’ 

‘Alice.’ Iona spoke firmly. ‘We are not going on that disgusting show.’

Alice pouted and turned to Flo.

  She shook her head. ‘No. I’m not getting my tits out and going bald, Alice. What fucking planet are you on?’

  Alice frowned and folded her arms. She was like an overgrown child at times, Amanda thought.

    ‘So if I go on it, you don’t want any of my winnings, any of you?’

  ‘Alice, please don’t tell me you are seriously thinking of going on that show?’ Flo said slowly.

   She shrugged, then reached for the wine, and took a gulp straight out of the bottle. 

   Flo turned her nose up. ‘Thanks. Didn’t want another glass anyway.’

  ‘It will be fine.’ Alice rested it on the carpet. 

  ‘I don’t want your diseases.’ Flo picked the bottle up using the tips of her fingers and moved it further away. Amanda looked at her. Her stomach flipped. This was a horrible idea. Why would she want to put herself thorough that for a few quid. ‘Is the money really worth it? Sometimes they make the girls do really disgusting things on that show.’

Alice shrugged.

Flo shuddered.

Now the two women on screen were in their underwear, both completely bald, one with her hands on her head, the other covering her breasts, looking down at the floor.

     ‘You do you.’ Amanda said, ‘But it’s not a thing I’d want to rush into.’

 

TWO WEEKS LATER

 

    It was a Tuesday, but none of them had any lectures to be at. Flo was the first up.

Padding down the filthy stairs carpet bare foot in her pyjamas, she noticed a small pile of letters on the doormat.

That was never a good sign. Who’d forgotten to pay which bill? She scooped them up and carried them into the kitchen where she dumped them on the table, first clearing a spot in the stacks of dirty plates.

Kettle on. She picked out her own mug, the one her Mum bought her years ago. It was pink with Blondes Have More Fun written on the side in swirly letters. She threw in one of her Waitrose teabags.

While it brewed, she sorted through the post.

They were all the same size, all white and identical apart from the names on them. One each for her, Amanda, Iona and Alice.

   ‘Eviction notice, court summons, maybe…’ she said aloud, tearing it open. “Thank you for your recent application to appear on Girl’s Embarrassment.’ She read it aloud. ‘We have carefully considered your application…’ she read on. ‘…we would like to invite you to take part in one of our upcoming airings…’ She had never applied to go on that disgusting show. And never would.

But someone had for her, and it could only be Alice. Flo stormed out of the kitchen and upstairs, letter scrunched up in her hand. Alice’s door was shut, and she didn’t bother knocking. The room smelled of cheap perfume and unwashed clothes. Alice lay sprawled out on her bed, on top of the covers. Her laptop was open on her stomach. 

She looked up. ‘Oh hey.’

Flo waved the paper in the air. ‘What’s this?’

‘A letter?’ Alice went back to what she was doing on her computer.

‘From Girl’s Embarrassment. Did you apply for me?’

‘I did.’ Alice sat up. ‘So?’

Flo couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Are you for real? You can’t just apply for someone else! What the fuck Alice? Why did you do that?’

Alice shrugged. ‘Thought you’d need the money?’

Flo had to wonder how much Alice knew about her personal life. ‘You shouldn’t be doing that to people.’

‘But it’s a good opportunity.’

‘Oh yeah, fucking cracking opportunity,’ Flo’s voice sagged with sarcasm. ‘To get my tits out on TV and go bald.’

‘But you don’t have to do any of that! You can just walk out at any point, all it means is you don’t win anything.’ 

Flo folded her arms. ‘I don’t care. I don’t want to take part. Have you told Iona and Amanda? I bet you haven’t.’

Alice shook her head. ‘No, but…’

Flo turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind her. She went downstairs, knocking on Amanda and Iona’s doors on the way

down, telling them to get up and come down stairs.

Amanda appeared first, dressed in a thick fleecy dressing gown, her hair wild. She yawned as she came down the stairs. ‘What’s the emergency?’

‘Herpasurus.’ 

‘What about Herpasurus?’ 

Flo passed her the letter. ‘Read it.’

She watched Amanda’s eyes scan down the page, watching her face fall. ‘Shit.’

‘Exactly.’

Iona was next to appear. ‘What’s up?’

‘Alice has applied for us all to go on Girl’s Embarrassment.’

She gasped. ‘Why? That’s so fucked up.’

‘I know!’ Flo said. ‘Apparently she thought we could do with the money.’

‘I’m writing back and telling them thanks but no thanks.’ Amanda put the letter down. 

It took Alice another hour to be brave enough to come downstairs.

When she did, she came into the living room, her laptop under her arm. She sat down on the sofa, ignoring the three pairs of eyes boring into her.

‘I think you need to apologise.’ Iona said. 

‘What for?’ Alice looked genuinely surprised. 

Flo rolled her eyes, fighting to urge to slap her in the face. ‘What do you think?’

‘Look, I don’t see why you’re all so upset. I tried doing you all a favour.’

‘A favour?’ Flo said incredulously. ‘Alice, this isn’t a favour. For starters it’s an invasion of fucking privacy because these creeps have my

details now.’

Alice took off her glasses to wipe them on her jumper. ‘So you won’t even consider it?’

‘No way.’ Said Iona.

‘Never going on it.’ Said Flo. 

‘Nope. No, no, no.’ Said Amanda. 

‘Guys, have you seen the prize money? Last time it was over £200,000.’

‘That’s ridiculous.’ Iona snapped. ‘There’s no way they have that kind of budget.’ 

‘Yes way. I’ve looked into it.’ Alice put her glasses back on. ‘They roll the prize money over if somebody backs out. Its kept happening for

weeks, so if we get on in time – we can be Millenial homeowners!’

Flo was slightly suspicious of how much Alice knew about the fucked up TV show. She had some disgusting thoughts she tried shaking out

of mind. ‘Alice listen to me. I don’t care how much money is on offer. I’m not doing it.’

ONE MONTH LATER

It was hard to describe how it felt, waiting to go on a gameshow. Numb. That was the only way Amanda could describe it.

The room they’d been herded into backstage was dimly lit and draughty. A hodge-podge of chairs had been arranged in a square and filing cabinets that didn’t like they had been touched for years cluttered the walls.

Iona was bobbing her leg up and down, a nervous tick normally reserved before exams.  She was holding a polystyrene cup of coffee, but not drinking it.

They’d all been offered tea and coffee from a trolly in one of the dingy corridors in the television centre before their final holding cell.

Flo had poured her’s into a pot plant when she took one sniff, and found out that it was instant and not “proper coffee”.

Because they were going to be on a show broadcast to millions, they’d all made an effort to look their best.

Flo had gone with her little black dress, heels, and full make up, and Amanda had made an effort as well.

She put one of her “nice” jumpers on, and some skinny black jeans, accessorising with an owl necklace she’d bought from a craft fair. She’d even put make up on.

Full make up transformed her into a curvy femme fatale.

      ‘How you feeling?’ Flo asked her.

      ‘A little bit sick, actually.’

      Flo whispered: ‘But I thought you said you weren’t going to do anything really embarrassing?’

  ‘It’s over £200,000. Will we ever get the chance again?’

   ‘Yeah…I mean no..oh…oh shit, I don’t know.’ Flo ran her hands through hair.

   Alice, meanwhile was scrolling on her phone, looking unnaturally relaxed. She’d put a tweed blazer over a white blouse, and paired it with some jeans and heels.

Her face was dolled up with red lipstick and inches deep foundation, while Iona had gone with smoky eyes and false lashes.

‘That’s means we all have to do it to get the cash, remember.’ Alice spoke, still staring at the phone. ‘That means four bald bitches.’

There was movement outside the door. Footsteps and voices.

Amanda tensed. She recognised one of the voices. It was him. Sammy Packham. The over confident, cocky lilt. There was no way it could be anybody else.

The door opened, and instead a nerdy looking guy with a lanyard round his neck came in. He was one of the production crew who had been dealing with them since they arrived.

    ‘How we all doing?’ he asked, in a nasal, annoying voice. When nobody answered, he carried on. ‘We’re almost ready to go live. Do you guys want to meet Sammy before you go out?’

    ‘Not really, no.’ Said Flo.

    ‘Well, most people find it better if they…’

    Flo folded her arms over the plunging neckline of her dress. ‘Just bring him in.’

    ‘OK. Sure, give me on sec.’

    He had the air of the geeky kid who did favours for the school bully, so he didn’t get bullied, Amanda thought.

     ‘He’s going to be awful.’ Iona waited until the door was shut. ‘The man is such a shit.’

     ‘Give him a chance!’ Alice looked up from her phone.

     ‘He’s had nearly 15 years of being given a chance on TV.’ Amanda stroked her necklace mindlessly.

They were interrupted when the door was thrown open.

     Amanda had seen Sammy Packham on the TV a lot in the past, mostly when he hosted more safe for work shows when she was a kid. She was used to him with mad hair and a moustache, but now he was almost unrecognisable.

The moustache had blossomed into a full beard, his hair long, and he was now overweight and puffy.

      ‘Good afternoon ladies, thank you all for coming.’ He spoke with the insincere friendliness she would expect from a second hand car salesman. And was it her imagination, or did he exaggerate “coming”?

Sammy sat on top of a large crate used to store god knows what and slapped his legs enthusiastically, the unbuttoned a truly awful peacock blue crushed velvet jacket.

    ‘So, how are we all feeling?’

    The only sound in the room was the distant drone of the air conditioning.

    ‘Wow, you lot are going to be hard work. Who’s dog died?’ He laughed at his own joke, then pointed to Flo. ‘Iona?’

    ‘No. Flo.’ If she was any frostier snow would have sprinkled out of her mouth.

     ‘Never forget a face, but names are a different thing. Trust me, there’s been a lot of them over the years. Now, I gotta say, Flo I’m impressed with the effort. You look ravishing.’ He smiled, exposing perfect, white teeth which gave him an almost canine look, while he rubbed his hands together. ‘Most girls who come on here, they have this y’know, “why bother?” mentality, because its all coming off anyway, but not…’ he pointed at her his index finger extended like a pistol. ‘You. Respect for the audience, I like it.’ He placed his hands on his hips, and made no attempt to hide that he was running his eyes up and down Flo’s body, from her hair to her toes. ‘And you’re a natural blonde, right? That’s what it said on your form?’

       ‘Yes.’ She shot a glare in Alice’s direction.

       ‘Ahh, everyone loves a natural blonde.’

       Flo smiled modestly. ‘Oh, it’s not as cool as everyone thinks. It means my eyebrows disappear if I don’t draw them on.’

       ‘Hmm,’ Sammy squinted as if looking at small print as he took a step closer to her. ‘I see a lot of girls who claim to be natural, but once we get the clippers on,’ he took a step back, holding both his palms out. ‘The truth is exposed. As I always say, stubble never lies.’ He laughed, but laughed alone. ‘You know I like you Flo, you look great, you’re confident, I think you’ll be a real hit.’ Next he moved in on Iona. ‘So you must be Iona?’

     ‘Yes.’ Like Flo, she was spitting out snowflakes too. ‘Gone for a bit more of a casual look, but that’s fine as well. I dunno why, but I get the impression that you’re less trouble than Flo, am I right?’

      ‘Why would you get the impression that either of us were trouble?’

      ‘Well, most of the girls I see here come to us because they’re in trouble in the first place.’ Amanda could practically feel him undressing Iona with her eyes. ‘Ever been on TV before?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘Ever been naked in public before?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘Well, today could be a day of firsts for you!’ He patted her head, his handing lingering for half a second too long.

Alice was next in his sights.

      ‘You’ve got to be Alice?’

      ‘Yeah! Hi!’ She greeted him with a wide, gummy smile.

       ‘A bit of enthusiasm! That’s more like it!’ He playfully punched her arm.

       ‘I understand this was your idea, to come on here?’

       Keeping her smile pasted to her face she nodded.

       ‘Well in years to come.’ Said Sammy. ‘All of you may look back and thank your dear friend Alice for this life changing opportunity.’

       Iona was looking daggers at him. ‘Yeah…This show changes lives alright.’

       He ignored her moved straight onto Amanda. She was used to be being the last female in a group to get any attention. ‘Amanda! I can’t get that one wrong, you’re the last one for me to annoy.’ Reaching over, he took hold of the owl necklace. He dangled the owl on the end of his finger.

She smiled, trying to hide her discomfort. It was a cheap necklace but she didn’t like him touching it.

‘I like owls. Maybe I’ll let you keep it on.’ 

‘I’m not stripping.’ She snatched it away from him. 

‘Ahh, that’s what they all say. But hey – your choice. Anything can happen out there.’ Hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his Cuban

heels, looking like he was getting bored. ‘Nice meeting you. You’re all lovely young ladies.’ moving closer to the door, he curtseyed, then

closed the door behind him. 

Flo looked like somebody had asked her to eat a spider, or wash her face in a toilet. ‘I think I’ve just been sick in my mouth.’ 

Iona stuck her tongue out, as if gagging. ‘Could he be any slimier?’

‘I dunno, he was alright wasn’t he?’ Alice was still smiling. ‘I thought he was kind of nice.’

‘You would.’ Flo said.

Alice looked genuinely hurt. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

Flo didn’t get a chance to reply. Muffled music coming from the stage she was still yet to see.

It was the cheesy ‘90s chat show style theme for Girls Embarrassment, which was a mess of saxophones and trumpets.

Amanda was shaking. The thought of people seeing her naked body made her want to cry. Nobody in her life had ever seen her naked.

 

Her hair and clothes were her shell.

It was OK for the others. They had bodies people would actually want to see naked.

Amanda was thinking how this was going to be the end of her life. That once she had done this, her life would be over. She would never

 

recover from this, if she went through with it.

 

   ‘You’re quiet.’ Flo had finally noticed something was wrong. ‘How you feeling?’

  

  Amanda said nothing. She wanted to be sick.
 

Then Iona spoke up, laughing. ‘We’ll be talking about this for years after. One day it will seem funny, and we can be like: yeah, we were

 

crazy enough to do it.’

  ‘Are we…actually doing it?’ Amanda looked to Flo, then Iona. ‘The nakedness? The head shaving thing?’

   ‘Fuck it, I’ll do it!’ Alice was still grinning. She had a screw loose, that girl.

Amanda’s heart sunk when the door opened again. The nerdy stage runner came back in. ‘OK girls, lets go. Put your game faces on.’

     Flo was the first to stand up.

     Amanda was the last to get up. She fussed around with her necklace, before she joined the others at the door.

     ‘OK? Ready?’ he said.

 

    Flo and Amanda followed him up a dingy corridor with bare drylined walls, Iona and Alice following.

     Ahead of them, was another door with a red “LIVE” sign over it.

     As they approached it, they passed rubbish bags on the floor. They were full of torn up clothes.

By the time the runner stopped at the doors, Amanda’s throat had gone dry.

     ‘This is it.’ Flo whispered.

     ‘You promise you won’t hate me if I back out?’

     ‘Will you promise the same to me?’

     The runner interrupted them. ‘Girls, you’re on. Good luck.’ He’d stopped by It a fire exit style door with a bar he pushed to open. 

     Flo reached out for Amanda’s hand. They held it and walked up the passage together, up a sloping, unlit corridor which only a had a green running man fire exit sign for illumination.

     She looked at it and wondered how many people were tempting to take his lead and run away.

     As they stepped onto the stage, the first thing she noticed was the heat from the relentless, bright stage lights high above them – the kind of light that no imperfection could hide from.

A few feet away, near the edge of the stage Packham stood with his back to them.

In front of him, a sea of heads stretched back on seats forty rows deep.

Nearly all guys, nearly all in their twenties. The few women who were there stood out like sore thumbs.

Amanda could practically smell the horniness.

     ‘Please, a round of applause for our lovely ladies!’ Sammy’s voice boomed out over loudspeakers, as a deafening applause threatened to pop her ear drums.

    Looking like a preacher at the pulpit, Sammy spread his arms. ‘Let’s play…giiiiiirrrrrrlllllsssss eeeemmmmmmbbbbaaaaaarrrasssnnnnneeent!’

      As he yelled, the crowd roared. It was less of a cheer, more of a war cry. She felt more like she was going to get eaten by a lion at the coliseum, rather than a game show contestant.

Amanda wanted to stand up straight and look confident. But all she felt like doing was curling up in a ball and crying. 

The cheers sounded loud on TV, but in person they sounded raw, raucous.

      ‘Hello, hello, and a very warm welcome to those of you who could make it, and to those at home – and remember –’  he let the crowd finish the rest of his sentence.

      “Don’t let your Mum know you watch it!” came back the rowdy chorus.

      She noticed the euphoric looks on the faces of the guys in the audience. Amanda wondered if they went on the show as much to see Sammy as they did for the nudity and lewd stuff.

He was perhaps more of a poster boy for misogynists and incels – at that moment he seemed more like a god.

     ‘Such an eager crowd, here. I’m impressed.’ Sammy said, hands on hips.

     Eager to see our looks fucked up, the sick bastards, thought Amanda. 

     Sammy continued: ‘Now, let’s meet our lucky ladies who will be entertaining us tonight.’

      He turned to face the four of them, while a camera rig followed him around.

      In one slick motion, he seemed to glid over to Amanda. ‘And who have we here?’

      ‘I’m Amanda.’ She said clearly, and confidently, into the microphone he’d pushed into her face.

        ‘And at 19 you’re living the uni life, but what more can you tell us about yourself?’

        ‘I’m into sewing as well as reading fantasy novels.’

        ‘And I have here that your favourite super hero is Batman, but you still enjoy Marvel films, as well as the Great British Bake Off. Such a hell-rasier. Flo – please try to be fucking interesting.’

         ‘I try to be.’ Amanda was getting a feeling that Sammy liked Flo, which probably wasn’t a good thing for her. ‘I’m 20, and I like clubbing, dancing, things like that. I’m also a pretty good cook.’

       ‘More than a pretty face, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like pretty faces. And I can see two more pretty faces to get through.’

       He paused by Alice next. ‘Would you like to introduce yourself?’

       ‘I’m Alice, 21,’ she was smiling broadly, and almost looked like she was enjoying herself. Then again, any attention was a good thing for Alice. She was just wired that way. ‘I’m studying English Literature and language. And I love vintage fashion.’

      ‘Is that why you’ve come in your Granddad’s jacket?’

       She snorted an ugly laugh. ‘I like it! I think it’s classy.’

       ‘Really?’ Sammy spoke quietly into the microphone. ‘And people say my taste in jackets is bad.’ He reached out and tugged her sleeve. ‘When that thing comes off, we’ll be doing you a favour.’

        He sauntered over to Iona. ‘Last but not least. My lovely, why don’t you introduce yourself?’

        She smiled polity, but Amanda saw the look of revulsion in her eyes. ‘I’m Iona, I’m 20. I’m studying psychology and biology.’

       ‘And what do you do for fun, Iona?’

       ‘I love fitness, so running, swimming, anything like that.’

       ‘No boozing?’

       ‘Not much.’

       Sammy pulled a face. ‘Well, you may need a stiff drink after this.’

       A few more laughs bubbled up. 

       ‘Now, those at home who watch this all the time – I love you all by the way – will know how this works, but for those who don’t, let me explain. All of you, one by one will asked to strip naked, then sit in that chair. Our lovely hair stylist, Bea,’ The fans must like her, Amanda thought, as a few cheers were sung out ‘Will then shave your heads, and wipe off your make up…We call it Girl’s Embarrassment for a reason, right? Any of you can pull out at anytime…But if you do, all of you will loose out on the prize money, weather you’ve been shaved or not. Understood?’

       They all nodded, like well-trained circus animals.

       He pointed to an old-fashioned barber’s chair, centre stage. A trolly was on one side, full of hair cutting tools. On the other, a bowl of water on a stand.

Amanda had seen enough of this show to know that the water was for rinsing the razor. She always wondered if they warmed it up, or just used cold water.

Tonight she would find out, one way or another.

She realised she had tears in her eyes when Iona, Flo and Alice went blurry.

      ‘And of course this means, ladies and gentlemen, we have to put our hands together for our lovely, incredible, sexy and wonderful, Bea The Beast!’ Sammy gushed.

      Amanda, along with the other three all clapped, but she wasn’t sure why they were applauding this woman who was about to humiliate them.

The crowd was going wild as a curvy woman with big, bouncy black hair in an updo and Amy Winehouse style makeup strutted out from backstage. Tattoos spiralled up her arm, and she was dressed in all black.

She blew a kiss to the camera and briefly struck a pose by the barber’s chair.

              ‘Yes, it’s our pioneering beauty salon – the only one in the world which makes you uglier than when you went in.’ Sammy paused to let the audience laugh.

Sammy let the preamble drag on a little bit longer. He reached inside the pocket of his jacket and got out a card.

Amanda glanced at the stage exit. It wasn’t too late to run.

   ‘As is now tradition, we will first ask our lovely beautician a question, sent in by you, the audience.’ He spoke directly to the camera, with eyebrow slightly cocked, Roger Moore style. He spun on his heels to face Bea. ‘Bea, hello again.’

    ‘Hello…’ Amanda didn’t know it was possible to say “hello” in a suggestive way, but Bea managed it.

    ‘This first question from James, all the way in Seattle. He wants to know, after training as a hairdresser, as well as a make-up artist and beautician – somebody’s been reading your Wikipedia page – how does it feel to shave heads and fuck up girls looks?’

     Bea smirked. ‘Well, I love it, don’t I?’ she had a strong accent, which Amanda placed as being from London or Essex. ‘It’s just so much fun. Just y’know, diving in and going all out with the clippers.’

     Sammy nodded. ‘This question, this is my own: ever been tempted to shave your own head?’

    ‘Awwh no! I like my little updo far too much, mate.’

    ‘Basically, you don’t want to look as bad as these four are going to look in a few minutes.’

    Bea laughed. ‘You’re so horrible, you are.’

    He said, deadpan. ‘I’ve never claimed to be nice. Our next question is from Ratan, in Deli – he just wants to ask – are you single?’

     She flipped her hair out of her face. ‘Well, I’m actually in like an open relationship. But I am gay – I thought all you guys knew that? So then even if I was single, I’m no good to you Ratan mate.’ She laughed, bearing artificially white teeth.

     Sammy put his hand to his ear, as if he was listening for something. ‘What’s that? The sound of Ratan’s heart breaking – I can hear it from here. Now, as much as our friends here would like us to, we cannot delay this any longer.’

Amanda’s tummy was doing backflips. Why the hell did she agree to go through with this?

     Sammy was speaking again. ‘Bea, your prerogative. Who will go first?’

     ‘Hmmm…’ she narrowed her eyes until they were two cold slits. ‘I think…’ Bea raised an arm.

     Amanda felt like she had just swallowed concrete. Bea’s finger was pointing at her. ‘Her.’

The lights dimmed, and a spot light shone in the area of the chair.

     ‘Come on lovely.’ Bea beckoned her with her fingers. ‘Let’s get to work.’

     She looked at the exit, and the other three who were huddled together, looking at her expectantly.

It was a lot of money she would make. House deposit money.

She’d regret not doing this in years to come, she knew it.

Feeling like she was walking through treacle she walked towards the chair, and Bea.
     Sammy spoke over the mic, getting steadily more manic. ‘Go on Amanda, get this show swinging, and get those clothes off you.’
  The audience started clapping.
    ‘Off! Off! Off!’ Came the chant. Some people were holding up their phones, recording it.
She glanced over to the others, one last time. Flo just shrugged.

Fair enough, she thought. What could Flo do at this point?
Oh god, her housemates were about to see her naked. Them, and thousands of horny guys around the world.
‘You dawdle, it just gets worse love.’ Bea was leaning on the chair, cupping her chin in her hands. Amanda could hear the hairdresser’s voice over the speakers. She had a lapel mic wired in. ‘And I got a date tonight. Chop chop…chop chop…I’m hilarious.’ She took out some scissors from her pocket and smiled lascivious at the camera.

Amanda started to tug at the bottom of her jumper. She was already crying. The whole world was seeing her crying.

Feeling like an animal that was being prized out of her shell, she took off the sweater, and then the thin t-shirt underneath.
  “Off! Off! Off!”

 Next, trying to hide her stomach with her arms she undid her belt buckle.
   ‘Go on Mandy!’ Alice shouted. ‘Show us some skin.’
Slowly, she peeled off her jeans. Under those, she was wearing Wonder Woman knickers.

A speech bubble across the back read: “we run this town”.
The crowd cheered.
Sammy laughed into the microphone.

Why did the sick bastard have to laugh?
She stood there, in her underwear, wanting to throw up.
Sammy walked over to her, and tried to pull off her bra.
    ‘No! Hands off!’ she squeaked.
    ‘Hear that everyone?’ The DJ said into his microphone. ‘I don’t think Amanda knows what naked means.’
    She pulled herself away. ‘I’ll do it.’ Her voice wasn’t audible over shouting from the crowd.
Amanda at least wanted the dignity of undressing herself. Keeping her tummy hidden, she unclipped her bra. Normally, the feeling of her two 34DD breasts being freed from the confines of her bra was something she looked forwards to at the end of the day, but right now, it made her feel queasy. 

Her ribcage shook as gravity took her boobs and let them slap against her chest.

Feeling uncomfortable as they wobbled, the crowd roared. She heard wolf whistles and felt her cheeks redden.

She dropped her bra on the floor with the rest of her clothes. Knickers next. She slid them down her creamy white thighs and milk bottle calves, and stepped out of them.

Wonder Woman looked back at her.
She wanted to shuffle away, to have her back to the audience. So everyone could see her arse? Instead she faced them, arms over her boobs, hands cupped over her fanny.

She’d shaved it the night before, and her labia felt soft and warm on her palms.
The room erupted.
She stood up straight. Her chubby arms were shaking. This was the moment, this was the end of her life.

Trying to hold back another wave of tears, she sucked in her lips.

    ‘Well done, hun.’ Said Bea. ‘I reckon that’s the hardest part.’
Amanda looked around, saw the Sammy smirking. She closed her eyes. She knew he was going to touch her, then felt his hands on her shoulders.
She opened her eyes. She could see the crowd of horny men, cheering and taking pictures. That was even worse than it being broadcast, somehow. Knowing that hundreds of guys were walking around with naked pictures of her in their pockets.
Some were laughing.
Chants were starting again: ‘Bald! Bald! Bald!’
It was so loud. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she could hear her own pulse roaring in her ears.
This was happening.
    ‘Amanda,’ shouted Sammy. ‘How much do you love your hair?’
    She said nothing. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak, because her vocal chords had turned into jelly.
    Sammy spoke into his mic: ‘Do we all think she needs to be bald?’
    The answer was roared back: ‘YES’
    ‘Amanda, take a seat.’
    As she shuffled to the uncomfortable looking chair and the waiting Bea, he slapped her on her arse to hurry her on her way.
Amanda jumped, and had to fight back tears. She could feel her buttocks tingling, as they contacted the cold leatherette of the chair.

Flo, Iona and Alice had all gathered round to watch.
Amanda could see them looking at her, their eyes drawn to her big fat udders, with their huge pale pink areolas. Curiosity got the best everyone, she guessed.
She looked up at them, trying to plead with them to stop this.
    Bea took over the commentary: ‘Now, let’s have a look at what we’ve got…Your hair is pretty thin my dear, but it’s quite soft…I’m guessing you still look after it?’

     Amanda could only nod. Her chin was wobbling. The tears were getting harder and harder to keep at bay.
Feeling her hair being pulled back, it exposed her big forehead. She’d grown her swept bangs to try and hide it. There would be no hiding it for some time. Amanda felt the coldness of metal on her scalp as Bea put the clippers on her forehead, holding them there. A snap, and she turned them on. They buzzed like an angry wasp. It vibrated her skull and made her feel sick. This was happening, it was really happening. This wasn’t a nightmare she was going to wake from. It was the beginning of the end, of her as she knew herself.
She closed her eyes, tried to imagine herself somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Amanda heard Bea sigh.

      ‘Awwh, this is such a shame. Really nice natural highlights in this.’ 

That was it – it was too much. Amanda broke.

The wobbling in her chin became unstoppable. The tears started flowing, and she began sobbing. Her whole face felt hot. A lot of the audience laughed, or jeered. Some shouted out: ‘We got a cry baby!’

She wanted to shout something back at them, but had lost control of her voice. The audience was a watery blur to her now.

The clippers made their first pass.

Amanda gasped when she felt the now hot teeth of the clippers on her scalp. The feeling of them was electric, sending a shiver down her spine. She felt herself go weak, and her stomach started to feel queasy.

The audience was clapping, cheering. There were wolf whistles, and some cheers for Bea. She could hear Sammy in the background, narrating the whole thing. He sounded like a sports commentator, or a ringmaster.

Amanda wondered how many times he’d done this show, and how many girls he’d seen get humiliated.

She kept crying as Bea went through the same procedure over and over, the clippers raking across her scalp.

    ‘I’m sorry.’ She cried to Bea. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She didn’t know why she was apologizing, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

      Bea looked at her and smiled. ‘Don’t be sorry hun, you’re doing great.’

Amanda nodded and felt the clippers start going around the right side of her head, exposing one of her big ears.

Bea pushed her head forwards, and Amanda was conscious of the double chin she was making. She dreaded to think how hideous she must have looked in that moment. The clippers moved behind her ear and started on the back of her neck. The clumps of hair were falling down her back, onto the chair, and onto the floor.

The pile building up on her fat, pale thighs was getting bigger and bigger. Some of it landed on her tits. Despite being naked, she was sweating. Her boobs were shining, and some of the hair was getting stuck to them. She couldn’t bear to look anymore, so shut her eyes. She thought about all the hours she spent on her hair, washing it, combing it, drying it. Amanda knew it was thin and flat and always did she best she could with it. It was all going now. She wouldn’t be able to hide behind it anymore.

She started crying again, her tears running down her cheeks and dripping off her chin. Bea was taking a bit more time on the back of her head. ‘Your head shape is kinda square.’ Amanda kept her eyes closed. The clippers buzzed around her head.

    ‘Last few bits now.’ She heard Bea say.

    Her other ear was exposed, and the remains of Amanda’s hair slid down her arm a few seconds later. Once all of her hair was gone, Bea unpacked a razor. It wasn’t the kind she used on legs, but the sort of safety razor men shaved their faces with.

    ‘No expense spared.’ Said Sammy. ‘Those are posh ones, top-of-the range Wilkinson Sword.’

    ‘Like that’s going to make her feel better!’ Bea laughed, shaking up a can of shaving foam. It was cold as fuck on her head, but Bea made it feel almost nice as she massaged it in.

Never, not ever, did she think she feel shaving cream on her head.

Next, she whimpered as the cool blades rasped across her scalp. 

    Sammy kept talking about how thin her hair had been, and how she was now looking more like a guy.

She looked down, not wanting to face the audience anymore, but then noticed how horrible and podgy her stomach looked as she was sat down. Rolls of sat squashed into each other. Amanda didn’t even feel female.
It was the most embarrassed she had ever felt, even worse when that time her swimming costume fell apart when she was a kid.

Bea’s hand was soft and hot on the back of her neck and bald head, as she shaved the last few bits of stubble and cream off. 

And the water wasn’t warm.

    Sammy announced: ‘Now, if Amanda thought that was bad, just wait until you see what happens next. Amanda, if you’d like to stand up, please.’
On shaking legs, she did as he asked.
There were no clothes to hide behind now, or hair. She was trying to hide her fanny with her hands.
Flo was smiling. Amanda couldn’t wait to see that blonde bitch take her place. She was really starting to resent her.
As Amanda stood there, she was starting to think about how horrible she felt, how disgusting she was. And how this was all for fun. This was entertainment for some people. God, she was so ashamed of herself. She could have said no.
For a few moments, nothing was happening and Sammy was quiet. The crowd were laughing at her. Laughing at her horrible body, her horrible face.
She heard one guy shout out ‘There be the whale!’ and another make a comment about her boobs. Another said something about her “dumbo ears.”

    Finally, Sammy spoke. ‘Ready to see the make up go?’
    The audience shouted “yes”. Bea patted the chair.

    ‘Sit your bum down again for me.’
    Bea worked methodically. First the eye liner, mascara and eye shadow, and then the foundation and blush.
She was sitting there, in a room full of people, completely bald and make up free.
Amanda turned around to see Iona, who was starting to look worried.
  ‘How bad do I look?’ she sniffed.
  ‘To be honest, you look ok. You look good.’ Iona chirped, but Amanda knew she was lying.
Now, Bea stood in front of her. She was holding a mirror away from her.
    ‘Now, the moment of truth.’ Sammy put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Amanda, are you ready to see your reflection?’
    Amanda closed her eyes, and nodded. When opened them again, she was looking at her reflection.
Her eyes were puffy and red from crying but that was the least of her worries now. The biggest problem was her head.

It was a big, square, with an equally big, square forehead. Her jawline was very prominent and square too, and loosing her hair, without her bangs to soften it, made it look even worse.

But her ears. Oh god. They were huge. Her nose were big too. Everything about her looked masculine. She couldn’t go through life looking like this. How could she ever be seen in public until her hair grew back?

    ‘OK, well done, love.’ said Bea. ‘You’re done.’

     Sammy thrust the microphone into her face. ‘How do you think you look?’
    ‘Like a potato.’ She mumbled.
    The audience laughed.

     Amanda felt ready to curl up into a ball and cry.

Sammy put the microphone in front of Flo. ‘Do you think it’s a good look for Amanda?’

     ‘I’ll be honest, she looks a bit weird…like, really weird. Mandy, I’m so sorry. But don’t worry, we can be bald together. We’ll own it.’

A cheer from the audience rang in her ears.

Next, Sammy took the microphone over to Iona. ‘Now you know what you’re letting yourself in for, are you looking forwards to your turn?’

Amanda was aware that Iona was looking at her, and she felt her cheeks reddening again.   

   ‘Uhh…’ Iona hesitated, then spoke in a way which was probably a lot more cheerful sounding than she really felt. ‘I’m not in love with the idea.’ 

Amanda looked at her clothes. Maybe they would let her get dressed. A hand was on her shoulder. She jumped.

    Bea was standing behind her. ‘You OK? You look a bit cold.’

     Amanda shivered, as the sweat dried on her. Goosbumps covered her skin, and she felt like a plucked bird. 

    Amanda turned around. She had to swallow before she could speak. ‘It’s horrible. I hate it. I look like shit.’

‘I’m sorry hun. But hey – I reckon it suits you. Like I said before, it really shows off your big forehead.’ A few laughs from the audience. 

    ‘And your big ears.’ Sammy chipped in. ‘If it gets too much, at least you can fuck off and fly away with those things.’ 

The laughter got louder as as Bea took hold of her ears and flapped them back and forth.

‘I’m joking, I’m joking.’ Sammy was saying. ‘She looks very, very pretty. I’d still go for you, Amanda.’ He paused for a moment. ‘If you were the only girl left on Planet Earth. With the lights off.’

‘Stop being horrible!’ Bea chided him, as she rubbed Amanda’s bare shoulders. 

‘You’re right, you’re right.’ He muttered into the mic. ‘I really should stop, especially as there’s still three other girls to be horrible to!’

This whipped the loudest cheer in a long time. 

‘Bea,’ he said, ‘who’s up next?’ 

She narrowed her eyes again, keeping her hands on Amanda’s shoulders. ‘I’m feeling Iona next.’

A round of applause.

‘Iona, come on over here.’

Iona stepped forwards and Amanda felt a wave of sympathy for her friend. She had never seen her look more scared.

    ‘Now, Amanda, would you like to tell us about Iona.’

    ‘Uhh…I’ve known her two years.’ Her voice sounded hollow to herself. ‘She’s a lot of fun.’

     ‘You know what they say,’ Sammy took hold of Iona’s arm. ‘Blondes have more fun.’

     Iona said nothing. She just stared at the floor.

     ‘Iona, you know what we want from you?’

     ‘Yes.’ Her voice was barely audible, the normal cheekiness Amanda was used to had been knocked out of her. She felt bad for her friend, but also felt some relief about not being the only naked person in the room soon.

‘Off! Off! Off!’

‘You don’t have to do this.’ Sammy said. ‘If you’re really not up to it, you can quit now and lose the money.’

She said nothing, and looked like she was ready to cry.

‘I’ll do it.’ Iona’s voice was flat. ‘I want to do it.’

‘Alright!’ Sammy shouted. He took hold of Iona’s hand, and held her arm up. ‘Get naked, and get rich, that’s what we’re all about!’

Sammy let go of her, and Iona reached down to her waist, and pulled her t-shirt over her head.

Amanda started to feel like she was in a weird dream. When she moved in with the girls, she never, ever, thought she was see any of them stripped in a weird porno/gameshow thing. 

Under her shirt, Iona was wearing a black bra, which pushed her boobs together. They were not as big as Flo’s, but still a reasonable size. Her boobs looked perky in it. Her tummy looked tight, her body looked so fit. She took a deep breath, and slowly undid her belt buckle, then unbuttoned her jeans. She pulled them down over thin legs, showing off a pair of knickers with brightly coloured pieces of fruit on them. Seeing Iona strip made Amanda feel even more like a potato. She unclipped her bra, with confidence that Amanda found breathtaking. Her tits bounced out. Amanda couldn’t help but look at them, and felt a little jealous. It made her feel a lot worse about the sagging sacks of fat on her chest. She was 19 and already starting to sag. It wasn’t fair. Iona slowly peeled off her knickers. She stood there, arms by her side, only in her knickers and socks and the audience went wild.

Amanda noticed that her socks had cherries on them.

‘This isn’t quite as embarrassing as I thought it would be actually.’ she said when Sammy offered her the mic. 

‘Well, we can’t have that!’ Sammy said in a tone of mock indignation. ‘This is Girl’s Embarrassment, after all! And I can’t help but notice,’ he reached down. 

Iona tried to dodge him but she wasn’t fast enough. Sammy reached for her knicker elastic. 

‘You’re still wearing these.’ He let the elastic snap against her skin.

Iona’s face flushed. ‘Can you let me keep them?’ 

‘Why so modest all of a sudden?’

‘Boobs I’m ok with. Showing strangers my vagina: not so OK.’

Sammy scratched his beard. ‘Well, I don’t know…’

‘Pleeeease.’ Iona gave him puppy dog eyes. 

‘I’m a fan of democracy.’ He took hold of one of his lapels, grandstanding on stage. ‘So it’s only right I ask the audience.’ he cupped his ear again, and leant towards the edge of the stage. 

‘TAKE THE KNICKERS OFF!’ was roared back. 

‘The people have spoken, Iona, I’m sorry.’

Her face was the colour of one of the cherries on her socks. ‘I don’t know if I can do it.’ she glanced over to Amanda. 

At first, Iona moved slowly, taking hold of the elastic. Then, she quickly slid them down her pale legs. Her shaven pubic area was briefly visible. She stepped out of them, then threw the knickers to one side, keeping one hand over her privates.

     ‘Now we can finally get to work.’ Sammy tapped his watch. ‘Jeez, you wanna make us overrun. We get fined for that, you know. But Iona…you know what’s coming.’

    ‘I do.’ her voice was shaky, and she looked like she was going to cry. ‘Please don’t be horrible.’

Sammy grinned. ‘You know I have to be.’

Glancing over at Alice, Amanda noticed how she was slightly flushed and biting her bottom lip…was Alice turned on?

    ‘Amanda, up you get,’ Sammy came striding towards her holding a very wide-eyed Iona’s hand.

She became very conscious of her wobbly bits, and her cellulite as she stood up. Keeping her back arched, she had one arm across her boobs, which were spilling out from under it, the other hiding her tummy, and wrist bent to cover her fanny with her hand.

A fresh chill spread across her back and arse.

As Iona took her place, she saw a flash of her bum. God, that girl was lucky to have such a pert little bubble butt. Not that it would make it much easier showing it to the world though, she thought.

Bea began working on her hair, pulling it into a tight, high pony tail.

‘You a natural blonde?’ she asked. 

Sammy was crouched down in front of Iona, holding the mic up for her.

‘Yes.’ 

‘Ooh, one word answers. Don’t get stroppy, sweet. Just doing my job. Which I love, by the way.’ He glanced down at her crouch. ‘Do you like the fact I’ve been able to get a closer look at your pussy?’

‘No, and you’re disgusting.’

He made a downturned smiled as if to say “fair enough.”. ‘Now, Iona, are you going to enjoy having your head shaved?’

‘No. That’s a stupid question and you know it is.’

‘You know what?’ Bea interjected. ‘I don’t blame her being pissed off at loosing this hair.’ She ran the pony tail through her fingers. 

Iona’s face was starting to harden. She was shutting off, thought, Amanda. Amanda’s urge to be somewhere, anywhere else was now stronger than ever. Standing there stark naked and bald, watching her friend go through the same thing. Weird wasn’t a strong enough word. From the drawer of haircutting tools, Bea pulled out some silver scissors. As she began to cut, Sammy hurried round with the mic, bringing it close to the scissors. A “scchhurnch” sound filled the room, and the sickoes watching were quiet, probably to savour the moment more.

Iona was looking more flushed. Eyes shut, she started to breath heavily. 

‘How does it feel, knowing you’re losing this hair?’ Sammy was saying, moving the microphone back to her lips. ‘Are you excited about your impending baldness?’

Iona looked ready to burst into tears. When she opened her eyes they were red and watery. Amanda knew exactly how she felt: like the world was ending.

    ‘Now I think I’d rather die than loose my hair…Fuck…’ her voice went hoarse. ‘Its happening.’

    Sammy’s jaw dropped. He put his hand on his chest. ‘You wound me, young lady, but I’ll be the one dying if you keep the swearing up, you’ll get us taken off air. Have some decency!’ 

With a loud “snap”, Bea closed the scissors for the last time as she cut the pony tail off. She dropped it across Iona’s lap.

She wanted to be able to do something, anything, to comfort Iona, but there was nothing she could do. All she could do was watch.

Iona’s legs started to shake as Bea took out the clippers. Sammy offered her the microphone, but she refused it.

‘OK, Bea, do your thing.’ 

When Amanda got shaved, she couldn’t see Bea’s facial expression as she worked with the clippers. It was one of cruel relish. She looked like a kid pulling the wings off a butterfly. She started by running them up the back of her head, into the ruined mess where the ponytail had been taken. The crowd was getting excited, cheering Bea on. Flo was even more pale than normal, and was biting her nails. Amanda noticed the excitement in Alice’s eyes though, as she stared at Iona’s naked body. The hairdresser seemed to be taking more time on Iona than she did on her. As if she was relishing shaving off gold blonde hair. With the back gone, she began shearing the sides off.  Iona was lucky, if lucky was a word that could be used for somebody in her situation, that her ears were small.

‘You’re starting to look like an egg.’ Sammy said, moving around to take a good look at her head, which was being revealed with each clipper stroke. 

‘Thanks.’ she spluttered. ‘Just what I needed to hear.’

He had a point. Her head was a lot rounder than Amanda’s.

Bea was talking as she worked: ‘Your hair is really nice love, you really should take better care of it.’

‘Which is why you’re shaving it off.’ Said Sammy. 

‘I mean when it grows back, you twat.’

Now, just the top was left. Some strands were still long and untouched, trailing down her back and sides. Bea started on them, starting on the left, moving around to the right. There was something…wrong about seeing her friend like that, which made Amanda feel dirty.

The crowd were cheering again.

Iona’s arms were now by her side, and she’d given up hiding her boobs. She looked numb, lost to the world.  Iona had no hair left, only stubble, as the dreaded shaving cream was smeared around her head. As Bea lathered her up, somebody came from back stage and brought her a fresh bowl of water.

    Bea stood in front of her, holding the razor.  ‘Alright, hun.’ she said. ‘This is the big one, ready for me to use the razor?’

Iona nodded. ‘Do it.’

Sammy came over with the mic.

‘We’re getting a little bit of attitude here, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know if you want to put up with this kind of nonsense. Do it what?’ 

Iona looked at him with hate behind the tears in her eyes. ‘Do it please.’ 

‘That’s better.’ He put the microphone in front of her. ‘Now, how are you feeling?’

‘Bad.’ she sniffed, wiping away some tears which were trickling down her chin, shiny as little crystals under the lights. ‘I thought I’d be OK with it, but it’s so hard.’ 

‘So hard? That’s what the guys at home are saying as well.’ 

A distasteful look was on her face as Bea kept dragging the razor over her pale, round head.

There was fear in Flo’s eyes. Yes, bitch, thought Amanda. This includes you as well.
    ‘How does that feel?’ Sammy asked.

     ‘Really weird.’ Iona said. ‘It feels like…like she’s massaging my brain…It’s so horrible.’

     Sammy turned to the audience. ‘That is not something I would want to try at home, ladies and gentlemen.’

She looked at the floor, her face getting redder as Bea scraped more and more shaving cream off. The blushing was blooming through her thick foundation.

When it was almost done, Sammy put his hand on her head with a loud “splat”. Bea was working on her nape but was forced to pause as Iona ducked her head out of the way.

‘Fuck me, that stings!’ 

Bea held the razor back. Iona started rubbing her head when Sammy took his hand away.

     ‘What do you say, to get started on Flo, while Bea finishes up with Baldilocks, here?’ Asked Sammy.
The audience came alive again, and erupted.
Amanda noticed Flo swallowing. She was always the most feminine of the four of them. Seeing her stripped of it was going to be a hard thing to watch.

As Bea carefully shaved around Iona’s ears, Flo, walked with very little confidence up to Sammy, Iona and Bea in the spotlight.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, give a round of applause for Flo,’ Sammy said, patting Flo on the shoulder. ‘You know, I just love a little black dress Flo, I really do.’

    ‘Thanks.’ She said it with no appreciation or enthusiasm.

      ‘But call me an old perv – many people do – I can’t wait to see you out of it. Flo: are you going to go through with this?’
Flo gave him a contemptuous stare.

    ‘Oh my god…’ she breathed. ‘This is going to be really bad. ’

    Sammy laughed. ‘If that’s how you feel now, wait until you’re in that chair, being stripped of your womanhood.’

Looking at the chair, she visibly blanched. Amanda wasn’t going to get a kick out of seeing her friend humiliated, but if she pulled out, standing on stage butt naked with no hair would be for nothing. 

‘Yeah, you’re not really selling this to me right now.’ Flo ran her hands through her hair. Amanda noticed that Flo’s hand was shaking. ‘But…OK.’ she nodded. ‘I’ll do it.’

Sammy raised the mic again. ‘Flo: our second to last girl. Ladies and gentlemen, can you show her some love?’

The noise from the crowd was deafening. Amanda’s ears were ringing. Cat calls, wolf whistles and calls to shave her rang out. 

She didn’t wait to be prompted to get undressed. The slinky black slip didn’t drop elegantly to the floor. Flo had to peel it off. She stood there

in her underwear. Matching black, and lacy. Her heels were still on. There was an almost business like air to her as she tucked a strand of hair

behind one of her ears. If she was feeling any shame, Flo wasn’t showing it. She didn’t have to be told to remove her bra. Her tits dropped,

flopping out with a slight quiver, but still looked firm. Veins tracked across them – something which Amanda didn’t have which made her feel

a little better about her’s. However, she still felt like nature had dealt her a bad hand. Flo looked so much better undressed than she did.

She pulled down her knickers, her hands covering her fanny. Amanda caught a glimpse of blonde fluff. She stepped out of her heels, and then

stood up straight, hands cupped in front of her, treating everyone to the view of her big, natural boobs. Red marks tracked around them from

the bra.

Even from where she was standing, Amanda saw Flo’s cheeks reddening as she displayed herself.

Flashes from cameras went off. She was by the most popular so far.

Again, Amanda envied her body. Flo had a slight paunch and was by no means athletic. But what Flo had was soft, feminine curves.

And confidence. Amanda would settle for either. 

As Flo’s body grew goose pimples, the last few little bits of shaving cream were flicked off Iona’s head with the razor. 

‘There we go!’ Sammy cried. ‘The final result.’

Flo reached out to touch Iona’s head. ‘Oh Christ! That’s proper, proper bald.’

Iona was a complete wreck, rubbing tears away. Her head was now a completely shaved, smooth and shiny dome. It looked unnatural on a

woman, and Amanda remembered she looked even worse.

Alice was still staring at Iona, her eyes had a weird, animal quality to them. If Amanda didn’t know better, she’d say it was lust.

Alice’s eyes darted briefly to Flo’s body, who shuffled over to Iona, her hands cupped around her fanny still.

Iona was also hiding her privates by pinching her legs together in the chair, and her left hand was over her breasts.

Sammy knelt back down in front of Iona, pushing the microphone into her face. ‘How do you feel, Iona?’ He asked, as the hairdresser started

to get her tools set up for her next victim.

She had her eyes closed, but forced them open and tried to smile.
Her voice was small and shaky as she replied: ‘Shocked. I don’t think this has actually sunk in yet.’
The crowd cheered.
‘But I think, ladies and gentleman- mostly gentlemen -, it’s time to get the make-up off. Agreed?’
‘Wipe it off! Wipe it off! Wipe it off!’ The crowd chanted.
      ‘Flo, how do you feel about doing the honours?’
   Flo shook her head.  ‘I’m good.’
      Alice spoke up: ‘I’ll do it!’
  The crowd cheered.
  Bea handed Alice a wet wipe, and she leant over her friend.
      ‘Alice, be gentle.’ Iona snapped.
   ‘A lot of attitude for somebody who’s bald and naked.’ Added Sammy.
      ‘Yeah!’ Squealed Alice.
   She scrubbed at Iona’s face, starting on her forehead, then moving down to her cheeks.
   ‘I so – ugh,’ Iona paused to spit something out of her mouth, ‘Can’t wait to see you in this chair.’
   She dropped the wet wipe, now smudged with foundation, eye shadow and mascara onto the floor. It plopped into a pile of Iona’s hair.
Lastly, she peeled off Iona’s long fake eyelashes. Without them, her eyes looked heavily lidded and tired.
‘I don’t know what to do with them.’ She sat, palms up, with the lashes sticking to her fingers.’ Alice hesitated, then laughter bubbled up from the crowd when she stuck them onto Iona’s head.
Bea held out the mirror for Iona to see, that cruel smile on her face again.
Iona burst out laughing, and Alice joined in. But Amanda thought it was forced laughter. The kind you use to mask something.
Iona stood up, briefly waving at a camera which panned over to her.

She flashed her bum to it as she scampered over the stage to stand next to Amanda. One of the false eyelashes fell off her head, looking like a dead insect when it hit the floor. She was still wearing the cherry socks. The only part of her old identity that had survived intact.
  Alice turned her attention to Flo, grinning ecstatically with her ugly, gummy smile. ‘Your turn now, girl!’
Flo poked her arm, ‘Yeah, then you’re going after me.’
The audience seemed to have grown bored, and were getting restless.
As Flo was ushered into the chair, Alice was talking to Iona. Her hand was resting on her crouch. Was Alice…rubbing herself?
Amanda pressed her hand over her privates a little more tightly.
Looking at Flo instead, Amanda thought that her housemate’s once un-burstable self-confidence was starting to leave her.
Like Iona, she was trying to hide her vagina with her legs. Amanda felt that lump in her stomach again.
She had known her friend to have blonde hair since she started uni. Seeing her without it was going to be jarring.
Flo didn’t even get a pony tail. The clippers snapped on, and were jabbed right into the middle of her head. They ploughed a white path down the centre of her head.
She gripped the chair arms tight enough to make her knuckles white.
Flo sat with her teeth clenched, looking more like she was on a rollercoaster.
Bea worked in silence, only stopping when there was a knot or when she needed to reposition Flo’s head which had less and less hair. With the top shaved, what was left hung untouched and obscenely perfect.
Amanda  had loved her hair, but Flo’s hair – it was every girl’s dream. Thick, shiny, naturally blonde and fell in perfect waves. It was the kind of hair you saw in shampoo commercials.
It was so long, falling halfway down her back.
And now it was going. It was almost hypnotic to watch it fall.
It was building up a pile on the pale skin of her lap, as well as her shoulders.
For whatever reason, Flo wasn’t brushing it off. Maybe she didn’t want to say goodbye to it?
Alice was standing in front of Flo, staring down at her friend, smirking.
The brunette picked up a stand of hair, and placed it over her top lip, puckering it to hold it in place like a moustache.
Laughs rippled through the audience.
    ‘That’s my hair!’ Flo shouted. ‘Alice, that’s gross.’
Sammy spoke into the microphone: ‘Now, Alice, as the next to be stripped, how do you think our friend Flo is going to look when we’re done here?’
Alice giggled, and spoke into the mic. ‘Honestly? She’s going to look like a really ugly boy.’
The crowd cheered.
Flo glared at her.
‘She is! Look at her! Flo, I’m so sorry that your hair was basically your whole personality, too.’
The crowd cheered louder this time. They liked that.
She turned to the crowd, like it was her own show: ‘You all know what I’m talking about!’
‘No more blonde jokes, though.’ Sammy added.
Flo’s lips curled. ‘Funny.’
Alice kept on going. ‘And then Flo will be just like the rest of us. She’ll be bald and ugly, and maybe then she’ll stop flirting with every guy we know!’
The audience made an “OoOOooh” sound.
Flo’s mouth fell open.
Something in the atmosphere was changing. The room felt different and Amanda suddenly felt sorry for Flo in a way she hadn’t done before.
Flo began to cry. In fairness to her, thought Amanda, she’d lasted longer than she did.
But she had never seen Flo cry before. And it was awful.
Flo was an ugly crier, and as the clippers shaved off the last strands, her tears were doing a good job of taking the mascara off for her.
    ‘Flo,’ The microphone was pushed back into her face. ‘How you feeling?’
She opened her mouth the speak, but no words came out: instead, just a single, dry sob.
‘Alright everybody, I think we need to give Flo a moment.’
Bea handed Alice a razor. ‘You seem to enjoy this. Have fun.’
Flo looked mortified. She was crying harder now.

‘Ever shaved a girl’s head before?’ Sammy said, then gave the microphone to Alice. 

 ‘No.’ She said. ‘Never. And I can’t bloody wait!’

‘Hear that?’ Sammy cried. ‘She should be doing my job, how would you all like that, huh? Iona, let’s get you involved. Why don’t you lather your friend’s head up?’

Still covering herself up the best she could, Iona left Amanda’s side and accept the shaving foam from Bea.
She stood to the side, denying the audience a view of her arse as she spread the cream over Flo’s scalp. Flo was sniffing, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as the white cream covered her head.

‘Oh shit, that’s cold! Holy Jesus!’

Amanda noticed how Alice was very obviously looking at Iona’s arse, now she was distracted. The brunette was wearing a look almost as cruel as Bea’s, and she looked almost predatory as she stepped in with the razor as Iona moved out of the way. She came back to join Amanda, who noticed the cream on her hands. ‘This is so weird.’ She whispered, wiping her hands on her thighs. ‘This is some fucked up shit, Mandy. We’re gonna need therapy.’ Iona pulled the remaining eyelash off her head.

   Meanwhile, Alice was practically salivating. ‘Sure you can trust me with this?’ She paused and giggled, baring her gummy smile again.
‘You’re fine. Just shave me.’ Sulked Flo.
Alice placed the razor against Flo’s crown.

She dragged it over her head, flicking the excess shaving cream and little pin pricks of hair down in Flo’s direction. It splattered into her body.

Flo winced ‘That’s cold.’

Alice was concentrating hard, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth.

   ‘I don’t think I’ve seen somebody shave another person’s head so slowly before.’ Sammy said. ‘Alice, it’s just like shaving your legs, but it’s better because you’re shaving a head. Specifically your hot blonde housemate’s head…sorry, your former hot blonde housemate’s head.’ He smiled. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m such a prick sometimes. Forget I said that.’

Alice continued to move the razor slowly over Flo’s scalp, showing the greyish shiny, wet scalp under the foam. Amanda could hear the noise of the razor going over her scalp, the same sickening dry scraping sound she heard when she got shaved. Flo had her eyes closed tight again. It was taking forever. Alice was relishing the experience, clearly. When the left side was done, she stood back, looking at her work. ‘This is actually kinda fun!’ she said, grinning. ‘I’d recommend it to anyone.’

   ‘Alice, I’m going to kill you. Just shave my fucking head.’

   ‘Mandy, I’m worried.’ Iona whispered in Amanda’s ear. ‘I don’t think she’s going to do it herself…I think she’s playing us.’

  ‘Yeah but…I don’t get why.’ Amanda whispered back.

Alice would go over the same bit, twice. Once to get the cream off, and again after rinsing the razor. Soon, with a final flick, she was done, leaving Flo’s head a wet shining dome.
Amanda looked at Flo and wanted to cry on her behalf. She didn’t look like her anymore.

Sammy pushed the microphone into Alice’s face.    ‘So, what do you think of her new look?’
    She shrugged. ‘Better with hair for sure.’
  ‘Fuck off!’ Flo yelled. ‘This was your idea!’
  Sammy bounded over the Amanda. ‘Don’t just be a spectator, Amanda. We have a job for you.’
  ‘I don’t want to -‘
  Too late. He grabbed her arm and she staggered after him, somehow keeping her hands over everything.
  He gave her a wet wipe. ‘You know what to do.’
  Amanda turned around to face her friend, treating the audience to a view of her backside.
Amanda noticed Flo looked like she was trying very hard to not look at her privates.
  ‘Flo, I’m sorry.’ She whispered, before getting to work. Flo was so fair that her eyebrows and eyelashes didn’t show without out makeup. Flo always joked that she looked like an alien without it on.

Gently, Amanda cleaned it off. Flo winced as she took the make up off from around her eyes, and Amanda used the wipe to get rid of some of Flo’s drying tears.

Flo looked at herself in the mirror when Bea offered it to her. Flo screamed – and it was a real scream, one of genuine horror. ‘Look at me!’ she gasped. ‘Oh my god. I look like a freak.’ 

Amanda hated to admit it to herself, but she looked dreadful. Any jealousy Amanda had for Flo was gone. She went from being the hottest, to maybe weirdest looking in the group. The gap in her teeth which was cute and fashionable before now just looked plain goofy. Flo looked like the after picture of a meth addict. What was worse, Amanda couldn’t help but think of a cancer sufferer. 

Flo’s bottom lip was quivering. ‘What the fuck have I done. Oh shit.’ she tilted the mirror to get a closer look at her head, and rubbed her scalp, studying it. ‘What am I gonna do now? This is fucking horrible.’

‘Ladies and gentlemen, Flo is not happy with the result, clearly.’ Sammy said, bringing the mic to Flo’s face again. ‘A word for the boys and girls at home?’

‘I want my hair back.’

Sammy laughed. ‘That’s a tall order….Or wait, is it?’ He held his index finger up in the air for a moment, then bent down and picked up some lengths of shorn off blonde hair. ‘I can’t tell if this is your hair or Iona’s, but here, have your hair back.’ He dropped it over her head. Most of it slid off, onto her body. Some of it stuck to her still wet head. 

Another wave of photo taking as she brushed it off her head. 

Iona folded her arms. ‘This dude guy is mentally ill…’ running her hand over her bald head she whispered. ‘Mandy, why did we do this?’

‘For the money.’

‘It’s so not been worth it. This is probably the worse experience of my life. How about you?’

‘Yup.’ Amanda nodded. ‘Mine too.’

Flo had to stick her tongue out to pick off some hairs which had gotten into her mouth.

Sammy brushed – or more slapped – some of the last bits from her head. ‘Everyone, she deserves it. Give Flo a round of applause.’

The crowd clapped, cheered and whistled.

Sammy turned his attention to Alice. ‘OK, Missy. It’s time. If you do this, you’ll be going home as rich bitches.’

Alice walked into the spotlight as Flo stood up, brushing hair off her body.

She didn’t cover herself, and Amanda noticed that she was looking at the crowd, or more glaring at it. The applause was too slow to be genuine. 

‘Iona, Amanda, come and join your friend, here.’

They walked over to join Flo together, and stood in a line. All three had their hands covering their crouches. Only Amanda was still bothering to hide her tits.

‘What do you think, ladies and gentlemen of the results so far? Have we embarrassed these three?’ 

A few yeses rang out.

‘And who’s the ugliest so far?’

Mostly Amanda was called, but some shouted for Flo, and somebody even called for Alice, which made her frown.

‘Flo, would you say you’re the ugliest so far?’

She sniffed. ‘Probably. But…’ Flo glanced over at Amanda. She knew what she was thinking, but dare not say. Amanda was the ugliest and she knew. She was the ugliest before they got their heads shaved, and now she was even uglier.

Sammy turned to Bea and Alice. ‘Bea, what do you think?’

She looked over at the trio. ‘I’m not really supposed to pick favourites…’ she said, grinning. ‘I’m going with Amanda…Sorry love. You should have kept it all on.’

Amanda felt a surge shame. She wished she could just disappear.

‘And now, what about you, Alice?’ Sammy asked. ‘Who’s the ugliest?’

Alice grinned at them. ‘Oh, that’s easy. I mean, she’s really fat and really ugly, so…I’m going for Amanda.’

Amanda wanted to cry, and had to fight back tears. Alice was showing her real collars now. She’d always been blunt, but not this horrible. ‘Flo looks pretty gross, too.’ She added, smirking.

‘Wait to you get the same treatment!’ Flo snapped. ‘Maybe we can all judge you, hmm?’ she raised a non-existent eyebrow. 

‘Oooh,’ Sammy made a gesture with a limp wrist. ‘Claws are out tonight. So that just leaves one question: Alice – ready to put your money where your mouth is?’

‘I’ve thought about it,’ she came in close to the microphone. ‘And, do you know what…No.’ 

A chorus of groans filled the room. 

‘What!’ Screamed Iona. ‘You’re not serious! No way!’

Sammy stepped in. ‘So, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have a quitter on our hands. Is there any reason why, Alice?’

‘Well, I don’t want to look those three, so I’m not going to.’

‘Look at us!’ Flo stepped closer to her. ‘Look at what you did to us! You’re a real shit Alice, you’re evil.’ 

Amanda found it in her to speak up to. ‘You have to do it.’

‘No I don’t. Fuck that.’

Excited conversation started up from the audience. 

Sammy appeared to be lapping it up. ‘Could our three baldies be going home empty handed? Alice, last chance – are you going to do it?’ 

Bea stood posed with her clippers. 

Amanda, Iona and Flo’s hair was scattered over the stage floor. But not Alice’s dry, fried brown hair. 

‘No.’ Alice smiled. ‘I’m keeping my clothes on, and obviously, my hair.’

‘But you’ll be forfeiting a lot of money.’ Said Sammy. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I’m fucking certain.’

Flo lost her tempter. ‘YOU BITCH!’ she shrieked. ‘You did this to us! YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT!’

‘You’re a coward, Alice.’ Iona shouted. ‘A fucking snake.’

Alice stood there, grinning. Completely unfazed.

‘Did you hear that folks!’ Sammy boomed. ‘Alice, is going to forfeit her cash prize, and leave her friends looking like…well, looking like this.’

‘We’re doing this together.’ Amanda’s voice was soft. ‘Don’t be that dick, Alice. ‘You’re making us look stupid.’
       ‘You made yourselves look stupid. I’m not the one standing on the stage bald with my boobs out.’

    ‘Why.’ Flo had forgotten to cover up and was now waving her hands around. It wasn’t dignified. ‘You forced yourself into our friendship group. We were nice to you. Why do this? I…I can’t fucking believe this. Look at me. LOOK AT ME! I’ve done this for nothing.’

    ‘I’ll be honest.’ Alice said. ‘I wanted you to know how it felt to not be the hottest girl in a room for once in your life. So maybe don’t flirt with my guy friends now? Good luck pulling looking like that.’ Shaved waved her hand at the hairless form of Flo.

   ‘What about us?’ Iona was starting to get animated, the pitch of her voice rising. ‘What about me and Amanda.’

Alice shrugged. ‘Amanda didn’t really deserve this. Maybe Iona did, just a bit. But I’m not going through with it.’
Amanda tried to hold Iona’s hand, but she brushed her off.

‘You’re the most evil little cunt I have ever met in my entire life!’ Iona screamed.

Sammy stepped in between Iona and Alice. ‘Well folks,’ his voice was serious for once. ‘I think we need to wind this up now. I hope you enjoyed watching it, and be sure to tune in next time when a man’s cheating wife is entered. We’re going to have some serious fun with her.’

Amanda noticed Flo and Iona exchange a look.

   ‘Alice, any last words to say to your friends?’
Alice laughed. ‘Flo, I’ll admit, you were pretty hot. But not now. Now you’re just a freak. A bald, ugly, freak. But actually, all of you, I bet the only guys that want you now are the ones into girls who look like guys.’

   Sammy had his arm around Alice. ‘And with that disappointment, I’ll see you next time. Take it easy folks and remember, don’t let your Mum know you watch this – bye for now!’

The theme started blaring again, and Sammy walked to the edge of the stage to talk to his fans.

   Bea took off her microphone, and then waggled the clippers at Alice. ‘It’s not too late.’ She winked.

    ‘No way. I’m not shaving it.’

     ‘Alice, why would you do this?’ Amanda asked. ‘We’re your friends.’
        Alice shrugged. ‘Yeah, but I guess you won’t want to be my friend anymore. I guess I’ll get over it.’
With the cameras off, Amanda finally dropped her hands by her side. The audience were interested in Sammy, and the lights were dimming.

    ‘We never were friends.’ Said Flo. ‘You were just a weirdo who latched onto us. And do you know what, Alice?’
  ‘What?’
  ‘If we’re not friends, I won’t feel so bad about doing this.’
  ‘Doing what?’ Frowned Alice.
  ‘This.’ Flo, who had been standing a few feet away, rushed towards Alice and tackled her, wrapping her arms around her.
The two women crashed onto the ground. Straddling Alice, who was lying prone on the floor, Flo’s breasts dangled down and smothered Alice’s face.

   Sammy turned on his heels. ‘Girls! Stop it! The game’s over! Break it up!’
      Alice was squirming. ‘Get the fuck off me!’ But Flo had pinned her to the ground, and was busy unbuttoning her blouse.
     ‘You’re not screwing me over like this.’ Flo gave up undoing the buttons and ripped the blouse open, sending the buttons all over the stage.
Iona, still completely naked as well, leapt towards the two. Amanda watched as she grabbed Alice by her hair and pulled her upwards, causing her to scream in pain.
Her blouse was torn open as Flo started to tug at the tweed jacket.

   ‘This is genuine tweed! Flo! No!’ Come on, girls! It was just banter!’ Alice shouted, trying desperately to wriggle free.
The hagners-on in the audience noticed. One guy pointed and shouted something.
They were loving every second of it.
        ‘Let go of me! Get the fuck off me, Flo, you slut!’

The jacket was turned inside out, half on half off.

‘We had to get naked. You will too.’ Flo tore the lining as she got the jacket off.
Alice kicked out, and her feet caught Flo’s stomach.
Shouting in pain, Flo collapsed onto the floor, hitting her bald head on the stage floor.
       ‘Girls! Let resolve this in the way which doesn’t mean I get sued!’ Sammy was hovering, but not doing much to stop it.
  Alice sprung to her feet. ‘Fuck you!’ She shouted, pulling her ripped blouse around her.
Flo was still on the floor, but Iona came from behind, threw her to the ground, and sat on her chest.
Alice looked terrified.
Flo crawled across the floor and pulled Alice’s trousers off.
‘Please! No! I don’t want to go bald!’
‘Oh, shut the fuck up.’ Flo rolled the jeans past her knees. Her knickers were black and plain. You made us go bald, and you’re going bald too.’

 Amanda froze, and watched it unfold.
Alice tried to push Flo away, but Flo slapped her across the face.
Iona started to tug on her hair, pulling small clumps of it out.
‘No, please! You’re hurting me! Please!’
‘Stop fighting. You’re not getting away with this.’ Flo snarled.
‘Please, I’m sorry. I’ll moved out. Just don’t hurt me.’
‘Sorry’s not going to cut it.’ Flo sneered. ‘In the chair.’
‘What?’
‘Get in the chair.’
‘I don’t-‘
Flo slapped her again. ‘In the chair. Or I’ll tell your Mum.’
Alice scrambled into the chair, in her knickers and bra, hopping on one leg, getting the jeans over her ankle as she went.
Bea handed Iona the clippers. ‘I ain’t stopping you. Have fun.’
‘Your turn.’ Iona said cheerfully.
  ‘Do I-‘
Flo was still rubbing her stomach. ‘Yes, you have to.’
‘Oh, hell.’ Sammy covered his eyes. ‘The paperwork is going to be awful.’   

‘And we had to do it naked, so should you.’ Iona said. ‘You know, if you think being naked is so great.’
‘OK, OK.’ Alice reached behind her and unhooked her bra. Her chest was almost completely flat.

Bea stepped in and took Alice’s knickers off, sliding them down her legs. She bunched them up and threw them into the corner. ‘Thought you girls needed back up.’
Iona flicked the clippers on, and Flo held her into the chair. ‘Amanda!’ she shouted. ‘Help!’

    She didn’t know how she felt, aiding and abetting, but she ran over anyway.

    Alice was blabbering. ‘You don’t have to pin me down, honestly, why don’t we talk first?’
 Amanda could hear the dull hum of the clippers, as the blades which stripped the three of them of their hair spun into life.

The spotlight over the chair was still on, and in the bright, glaring light Amanda could see Alice in detail. The spots under her make up, her crooked, dirty teeth, clumpy mascara and little beads of dandruff in her dry, flat brown hair.

‘Take her legs.’ Said Flo.

Feeling grossed out being that close to Alice’s body, Amanda grabbed hold of her, feeling the stubble on her legs graze her palms.

Bea joined Flo, helping to pin her down.

Iona ran the clippers down the middle of Alice’s head. At first, she made a high pitched squeal, which turned into a wavering, childlike whine as Iona made the first pass. The clippers cracked and hissed, and the first locks slid on the floor.

    Bea laughed. ‘Been ages since we’ve ‘ad a real struggler.’
    Alice’s face was anguished, and more and more hair piled up on the floor, until her crown was reduced to dark stubble.

Flo let go of her. Afterall, what would the point in escaping be now? ‘Iona, sister, let me use them. You’re having too much fun.’
Amanda let go as well, and stood back. The ordeal was over, for her at least. As Flo shaved Alice, who was whining, moaning and making all kind of pathetic sounds, Amanda set about finding her clothes.

She pulled her jeans back on, as well as her t-shirt.

Iona had done the same.
Flo was still at work though. She paused, and held up a strand of hair. ‘Eww, Alice. You should have used Head and Shoulders, something to control your dandruff.’
  ‘Fuck off!.’
Flo let the strand fall, and it landed in her lap.
   ‘No need to worry about that now, though.’ Tittered Iona.
      ‘Yeah, think of all the money you’ll save…’ Flo was now running the clippers up the back of Alice’s head. ‘Mind you, you just used my shampoo anyway. Too skint to buy your own.’
Alice glared at her. ‘Bitch.’
Flo’s mouth fell open, and the clippers stopped. ‘Excuse me? Repeat that. I dare you.’
  ‘I called you a bitch’
Flo turned the clippers off. She repositioned herself so she was facing Alice square on, her tits in her face again. The clippers came back on. She held Alice’s head.
      ‘Do you like your eyebrows?’
     ‘No! Flo, please! Flo! Flooooo!’
     In a few seconds, they were gone.
     ‘You always made fun of me having no eyebrows. Now you can know how it fucking feels.’
  ‘Fuck you, Flo!’
  ‘Fuck me? Fuck you! God, and I thought you were my friend.’
She stood behind Alice again, and got back to work on clipping off what was left of her hair.
And in a matter of minutes, she was done. Rough stubble replaced Alice’s head of brown hair.
Flo picked up the tube of shaving cream.
‘You’re going to shave me with a razor?’ she said through tears.
  ‘Oh yeah. Now you can know what it’s like.’
   ‘I don’t think I can handle the shine.’ Whined Alice. ‘You’ve taken my hair, I probably already look gross.’
   Iona smiled. ‘Then you can look more gross.’
   ‘You wanna take over.’ Flo grinned.
    ‘Please.’ Iona said, shaking the can of cream, then spreading it around Alice’s head. 

Flo meanwhile, put her dress back on. It looked weird paired with a bald head, but a lot of things had been weird about that day.
Wincing, Alice gripped hold of the chair arms.
When Iona finished applying the cream she wiped her hands, using the tweed jacket that had gotten thrown on the floor.
  ‘Ready?’
  ‘No.’
  ‘Tough.’
Iona began working with the razor.
She seemed to be taking her time, lips pursed, looking like she was deep in thought.       

   ‘So,’ Bea finally let go of Alice. ‘Make up wipes?’ 

   ‘I think we’re going to need a lot of them.’ Sammy nodded, who seemed to be relaxing. ‘Ready to see what she looks like without all this shit on her face?’ 

‘Oh we already know.’ Flo said. ‘Why do you think she wears so much?’ 

Alice started to cry when Sammy took her glasses off. She took them, holding them tightly. ‘Give them back, please.’

‘You’re blind as a bat are you?’ he laughed. ‘Remind me to put them back on you when you look in the mirror.’

Iona used the razor to clear up around her ears. The scalp was pale grey, flecked with dark moles and a few spots. One was bleeding. 

Sammy scrubbed the make-up off. Without it, she was suddenly riddled with acne. ‘Jeez, Alice, you’re even uglier than I thought!’ he cried. ‘Talk about kids in glass houses don’t throw stones.’

   ‘Stop it.’ Alice whimpered. ‘Can I put my glasses on?’ she said meekly. 

  ‘Yeah. We’re done.’ Iona said. 

  ‘This is the best bit, when I get to use me mirror!’ Bea said. ‘Come on, I wanna see your reaction.’ She grabbed hold of the chair and spun Alice, still naked and covered in left over shaving cream, mirror in hand. 

The three women joined her, staring at Alice in the reflection, who was now the only naked one in the room. Flo gave Alice a pat on the head, rubbing the freshly shaved skin. ‘Not so pretty now, huh? Well, you never were.’ She added, a snarky tone in her voice.

Alice stared at her reflection. She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. Her eyes were wet with tears.

    ‘Oh, she can’t think of anything to say!’ Flo said. ‘That’s a first!’ she leaned down and kissed her cheek. ‘Oh, don’t cry. It doesn’t suit you.’

For a moment, the only sound was her sobs. ‘I’m so sorry. Please don’t throw me out of the house, please don’t tell my Mum about this.’ her face creased up, and she broke down completely. 

‘Well, looks like there’s some justice in the world.’ Sammy paused and looked around, as some of the production crew walked onto stage to start packing up. ‘Sorry you didn’t get your money, but I’ll see about getting a cheque sent in the post to each of you. Put it towards some wigs.’ 

Alice sniffed, composing herself for a second. ‘Can…Can you send me some too?’ she rubbed her eyes and looked over at Sammy, pleadingly. 

He thought about it for a second. ‘Hmm, let me think…How about no, fuck off, you’ve messed with our ratings. I’ll send you a ASOS voucher though.’ he nudged the wrecked jacket with one of his cuban heels. ‘Your dress sense, jeez, it’s worse than mine. Anyway,’ he started walking towards the stage exit. ‘Adios, chicas. I’m going back to my hotel, time for a succulent steak.’

Bea chased after him. ‘Mate, that sounds great.’ 

He started to hum the chorus of David Bowie’s Fashion and a door slammed shut. They were gone. 

Alice sniffled, and rubbed her head as people cleared up around her. Amanda was feeling her’s too. It would be a shock when she looked in the mirror in the morning. 

Out of nowhere, Iona started to laugh.

‘What’s funny?’ Flo said. 

Iona looked down at Alice. ‘Gives new meaning to shaving your cunt.’