Snagg
Buzz-Cut Guys Never Come Singly
Einar showed Julius around the house that was to be renovated. “The owner wants to completely replace the furniture. I’ve already told him that, because of the floor plan and the sloping ceilings, a lot of it will have to be custom-made.”
“Send me the measurements,” Julius said as he took photos. “Then I’ll draw up some designs and a cost estimate.”
Both men were in their early 40s, had ultra-short buzz cuts, and wore dirty work clothes that showed off their muscular physiques.
They left the house and got into Einar’s pickup. “Should I drop you off at home, or do you want to come play basketball with the guys?”
“I want to go home,” Julius replied. “Marten’s coming later.”
“Your trucker?” Einar started the engine. “Is this turning into something serious?”
“I don’t think so. He’s got men all over Scandinavia.”
They drove down a bumpy path toward the road.
“If it were serious, I would’ve told you to cut his hair. That curly mop looks awful.”
“You’re right. But at least he smells deliciously masculine, and I love his hairy ass.”
Einar pulled up in front of his house, where Julius was subletting a room.
“When are you coming back?”
“I’m going to grab a beer after basketball and definitely won’t be home before 10. But it’s no problem if you guys aren’t done by then. A little moaning doesn’t bother me.”
The next morning, Julius woke up to find curls in his mouth. Before he could fall back asleep, the alarm on Marten’s phone went off. Marten sat up on the edge of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.
Julius looked at the broad, tattooed back and the dark, unruly, unwashed curls. If you straightened them, they’d probably be at least 20 centimeters long.
Marten reached for his clothes, which were scattered next to the bed, and got dressed.
“Want anything for breakfast?” Julius asked.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll get something on the way.”
Shortly afterward, Julius heard Marten start the truck and drive off the property. He’d be back in a few days on his way south again.
“His curls are really starting to piss me off,” Julius said as he sat at the breakfast table with Einar.
“Just tell him! Maybe he simply doesn’t get how annoying his hair is.” Einar looked out the window. “Speaking of annoying hair… There’s a guy who just got out of an expensive car. He has the same slimy, slicked-back hairstyle you used to have.”
Julius spotted the guy. “What’s HE doing here?”
“Do you know him?”
“Yeah, that’s Carl.”
“Your ex-husband?”
Julius stood up and walked out. Einar followed him and stayed at the front door.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Julius asked.
“I’m on my way to a wedding, and I thought I’d stop by.”
“You could have let me know you were coming.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I mean, you didn’t show up in person for our divorce, nor for the sale of our apartment. And when it came time to pick up your stuff from the apartment, you sent that trucker.”
They strolled toward the lake.
“Is that guy at the door your boyfriend?”
“No, my roommate.”
Carl stopped. “Damn, Julius, I almost didn’t recognize you. What happened to your polished urban identity?”
“My polished urban identity was so polished that you broke up with me.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to buzz your head and run around looking like a tradesman.”
“I don’t just run around looking like a tradesman, I am one. I’m working as a carpenter.”
They started walking again.
“Buzzing your hair off is kind of liberating,” Julius said. “You should try it sometime.”
“My boyfriend wouldn’t like it. He likes men with full heads of hair.”
“Still the same guy you left me for?”
Carl shook his head. “No, he was too young. Fifteen years younger.”
“And how old is the new one?”
“Only twelve years younger.”
Half an hour later, Julius and Einar were sitting in the motorboat, heading out to a vacation home on a remote island.
“I haven’t agreed to renovate the house yet,” Einar said. “I wanted to hear your opinion first.”
Julius pulled the hood of his outdoor jacket over his head. Then he said, “It was weird to see him again.”
“Do you still like him?”
“At least I’m not totally neutral about him.”
Three days later, on the first truly spring-like day, Julius and Marten were sitting on the terrace after sex. They watched the sunset and drank beer.
“We need to talk,” Julius said.
“I hear that a lot. You want to talk about our arrangement, right?”
“No.”
“No?”
“I want to talk about your hair.”
“My hair?”
“I don’t like it. Would it be okay if I gave you a buzz cut?”
“Sure. I don’t care what my hair looks like.”
Julius brought the clippers out of the bathroom. “Do you want to strip down to your waist so your clothes don’t get covered in hair?”
Marten took off his sweater and T-shirt.
“Have you ever felt clippers on your scalp?”
“Not that I can remember. I usually trim my hair with kitchen scissors.”
Julius picked a guard. “I’ll buzz you down to 3 millimeters, alright?”
“Whatever, I don’t give a damn how many millimeters exactly.”
Julius brought the clippers to life and positioned them at the nape of Marten’s neck. Then he slowly worked his way upward, and the hair began to fall to the floor.
“I feel like a sheep on my uncle’s farm,” Marten said.
“Your uncle has a farm?”
“I spent my summers there when I was a kid. That’s probably why I’ve become so much of an animal.”
Julius placed the clippers against the neck again and shaved another strip, this time more quickly. The more stubble appeared on the back of Marten’s head, the quicker and hornier he became.
When there was no long hair left on the back of the head, Julius turned to the sides. As he brought the clippers up to Marten’s left ear, Marten remarked, “You’ve got quite a bulge in your pants, dude!”
In the past, Julius would have been embarrassed, but now he just grinned and kept shaving.
As he shaved the right side, Marten said, “If I’d known you had a thing for short hair, you could have buzzed me sooner.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever buzzed another man’s head, but if I’d known it would turn me on this much, I definitely would have done it sooner.”
Then all that was left was the hair on top of Marten’s head.
“If I stopped now, you’d have an undercut.”
“Just keep going! I’m kind of enjoying this.”
Julius pressed the clippers against the forehead and continued. He noticed how white Marten’s scalp was, in contrast to his otherwise sun-tanned body.
“You should let your head get some sun soon.”
Julius chopped off the last few curls. Then he went over the entire head one more time to make sure all the hair had been evenly cut to 3 millimeters.
Finally, he switched off the clippers and said, “All done. The sheep has been sheared.”
Marten stood up from his chair and rubbed his head. “It feels pretty cool. Nice to have all that wool gone.”
Then he took off the rest of his clothes. “I’m going to take a quick dip in the lake to wash off the hair the hair stuck to my body.”
“The water’s still pretty cold this time of year.”
“I’m used to it. I swim in lakes almost all year round,” Marten replied, and his naked body disappeared into the darkness.
Julius heard Marten jump into the lake from the landing stage, and then he heard Einar’s pickup coming through the woods.
Julius left the terrace and walked to the front of the house. Einar parked the vehicle and got out, just as Marten came running up from the lake.
“I’m going to get in bed,” he called out. “My body needs to warm up.”
Once Marten had disappeared inside the house, Einar said, “Congratulations, you managed to shear him!”
“He looks way better now.”
“Well, he’s not the only one who looks way better with a buzz cut.”
The passenger door opened and Carl got out.
“I can’t believe it!” Julius said. “You actually buzzed your hair!”
Carl shyly ran his hand over his hair, reduced to just a few millimeters.
“I found him at the bar,” Einar said. “He was drinking to work up the courage to face you.”
Einar went inside, and Julius and Carl were left alone.
“So how did you end up buzzing your hair?”
“It was kind of a knee-jerk reaction. For one thing, I was at my conventional cousin’s wedding, and then my boyfriend broke up with me via WhatsApp.”
Julius sat down on the steps in front of the house and motioned for Carl to sit next to him.
“When I was here the other day, I didn’t tell you what I actually wanted to say…” Carl began.
“Tell me now!”
“I blamed our breakup entirely on you and your obsession with your career. But I’m just as much to blame. I’ve been dating younger men for years. At some point, I stopped counting how many times I cheated on you.”
Julius placed his hand on Carl’s. “We’ve both lost our compass. I’ve found mine again. I hope you do, too.”
After a few minutes of silence, Carl asked, “That naked guy who just went into the house, is that the trucker who came to pick up your stuff from our apartment?”
Julius nodded. “We hook up every now and then.”
“You’ve changed your type.”
“At least I date men my age.”
Carl laughed. “It feels good to talk to you. I’ve really missed your comments.”
“I’m glad you came,” Julius said, standing up. “I’ll get the guest room ready for you. After all, tomorrow is another day.”
