I was new to town and I wanted to explore the new city. I spent the afternoon walking around In the Bohemian section of town looking through record stores bookstores and having a cuppa coffee at this really cool coffeeshop. It was a trendy college town sort of place and I was really enjoying the vibe when I considered ordering another cup of coffee. As I approached the line this woman came through the door and got the spot before me. She wore her black hair in a high ponytail and had very short bangs cut to the middle of her fore head. She was upbeat and positive as she placed her order for a cappuccino and I could easily discern she was a regular at this place. Through the casual conversation she had with the barrister I could tell that she was a barberette who worked at a shop nearby. After she left I waited a few moments then proceeded to follow her outside. Scanning around I thought I had lost her when suddenly kitty corner across the street there she was in front of the barber shop smoking a cigarette. Trying to be nonchalant I walked past her and the shop trying to take it all in with my eyes. It was terribly exciting an old-fashioned barber shop with a very attractive barberette as the sole employee working there. The smell of her cigarette stuck with me as I walked another block away. Intoxicated by her look I decided to turn around and take another pass by the shop. This time she was finishing her cigarette and snapped the butt into the street and proceeded to go into the shop. I walked to another block in the opposing direction and stopped to turn around. what was the allure of this place perhaps one more Pass-by? Turning on my best eyes for memorization I thought I’d do one more walk by. It was an elegant yet classic barbershop with three chairs but only one barberette. She was sitting in a chair looking to a magazine when at last glance she seemed to look up as I past from the view. I was about two blocks away when I stopped in my tracks and thought “was today the day I should get a haircut?” there was something about that quick look in her eyes. It had been about 18 months since I had my last haircut so clearly it was quite disheveled. I had this notion of growing it out but every once in a while when confronted by the allure of a barberette my resolve to grow it out weakened. Perhaps I could go in and get a trim, what harm could come from it? it might be quite nice to spend some time with this very attractive woman. I walk to the shop and open the door and bravely walked in. She stood up from the chair and beckoned me over saying “can I help you today”? I responded “I’m new to town and just noticed your shop and was thinking about getting a trim. I’ve been growing my hair for little while and would like to keep it long”.
She then said “Sounds great have a seat. I’ll get you cleaned up in no time”. I then sat in the big red chair and she caped me spending a little extra time fastening the neck tissue paper in-place. We made eye contact in the mirror and her eyes seemed to flash a slightly angry flare. As she began to roughly brush out my hair she then put the brush down and said to me “You know I watched you stalking me and my shop for this last couple of hours and I’m really pissed off about it. If you don’t do what I say I’m going to call the police and have you arrested. I have you videotaped by the way.”
My heart sank as I had been caught. How long had I been staring at her from across the street. I thought it’d only been a few moments but upon remembering and realized it was longer.
“I’m sorry I don’t know what happened I am new to town and was just trying to find my way and and …”
“I don’t give a s**t. You’re a creep and a liar and I’m going to call the police.”
In the chair, caped and defenseless with a hard on to boot I felt trapped and shouted out “Please don’t I’ll do whatever you say.”
She then stopped in her tracks and turned around but still no less angry than before. Standing in front of me and in front of the mirror she took out one of her Virginia Slim 120s and lit one up blowing smoke in my face. “Okay this is how it’s going to be. I’m going to shave you bald. Not only am I going to shave you bald you’re going to come in every week for one year for me to shave you bald. Not only will I be shaving you bald every week you’re going to pay me $150 every week for this service. On top of that you’re going to come in when it’s my cigarette break and I’m going to use you as an ashtray. Got it?”
She then flicked ashes on my chest and began to walk to the phone.
“What’s it going to be Mr. creep?”. Taking a long drag on the cigarette she picked up the phone and began to dial.
“No please stop. I’ll do it. I’m terribly sorry about all of this.”
She then hung up the phone and walked back over to the chair. Taking another drag from the cigarette exhaling onto my face she said “I’m Nicole welcome to my barbershop”.
Nicole then plugged in her Oster clippers with the 000 guard. Keeping the cigarette in her mouth she then proceeded to buzz my hair off. Starting at the fore head she mowed the hair off systematically. Sometimes the smoke filled her eyes and she would keep one half closed as she pushed my ear down and continue to mow the hair off. With the cigarette in the corner of her mouth she stripped all the hair off my strangely shaped head. She then said “Open up Baldy let’s see your tongue” She then tapped this very long ash onto my tongue and then walked away for a few moments. In that time I looked at myself in the mirror, Humiliated and wretched I probably should not have had my head shaved. I probably was not the type for this look. Nicole returned with a freshly lit Virginia slims 120. She was also armed with shaving cream and razor. Aggressively yet professionally she shaved me bald.
“Open up Baldy there’s one more thing to do”.
Humiliated I stretched out my tongue one more time. Nicole then proceeded to snuff out the cigarette on my tongue, an agonizing final moment.
She took the Cape off and led me to the counter. She took my credit card and charged me $150 for the head shave.
“I only take cash tips, Baldy”
In my wallet I gave her two $20 bills and thanked her for the service.
“See you next week, Baldy, And don’t be late. I have your digits and I am friends with the police”
“No ma’am I’ll be here”
“That’s right. You’re now a client at Nicole’s barbershop”