Cheaper Than a Condo

Note to readers:  This is a novella length story.  Multiple characters get haircuts.  Pace yourself.

————————- Just Looking ————————

“But rich people own yachts.”  I insisted as Vi, my lovely new wife, who lay next to me in our temporary bed, ran her long delicate fingers through my hair like she so often did.  “We do ok, but are far from rich.”

“Rich people own brand spanking new yachts they take out occasionally when they feel like getting away from their huge mansions for the weekend.”  Vi countered my argument.  “Rich people don’t live on used yachts full time.  I’m talking about something more like a houseboat than a fancy luxury vehicle.”

“It’s got to be harder to get a loan for a boat than a mortgage on a condo.”  

“You know my parents are happy to cosign.”  Vi reminded me of the generous offer that made me nervous.

“It just seems so crazy,”  I said.  “How could it possibly be cheaper than a condo?  It’s not just the boat itself, there’s fuel and what the marina charges for parking.”

“You mean slip fees, Kate,” Vi corrected me with amusement.

“Whatever.”  I conceded the unimportant detail.  “And it is a vehicle, so it’s going to need repairs.”

“I ran the numbers a bunch of different ways,”  Vi insisted,  “and it works.  I even had dad double check my math to make sure I didn’t forget anything, while you and mom were petting yarn.  Owning a condo isn’t just a one time cost either.  When you start factoring in maintenance fees, insurance, and taxes, the slip fees, boat insurance, and maintenance are usually about the same.  And it will save us money in other ways.  If we buy a condo then we have to buy furniture for it, boats come with furniture usually.  And we’ll save on travel.  Like remember what it cost when I had that business trip a couple of weeks ago, between airfare, car rental, meals, and the hotel, what I made was barely more than breaking even.  If we lived on a yacht, we could have just sailed down.  I’ll be able to take jobs all up and down the coast with minimal travel expenses, I’ll only have to fly if I take a job inland or if the timing is bad.  And best of all being able to come home to you and Pumpkin at the end of each day, not an empty hotel room.”

“Mewp” Pumpkin expressed his approval of the plan, when Vi switched from running her fingers through my long wavy brown hair to stroking over his short orange striped fur, the ends of her own medium length straight blonde hair brushing against my bare shoulder as she did.

“You and Rob made spreadsheets to show me, didn’t you?”  

Vi’s dad had always believed in letting Vi make her own decisions from when she was little, but that she needed to know the implications of those decisions down to the penny.  Somehow, that belief seemed to extend to me.  It was kind of weird, my parents had raised me in the –my way or the highway– tradition.  Vi claimed it was why I made decisions impulsively.

“We did.”  Vi admitted.  “You can choose to look at them or just trust me.  I really want us to go look at some boats this weekend though, and seriously consider this.  We’re running out of time before our lease is up, and renewing isn’t an option.  Do you want to end up living at my parents house in my childhood bedroom?”

“We can go look,” I agreed, “BUT I am not agreeing to buy anything this weekend, we aren’t in that much of a rush.”

“I don’t want to buy anything this weekend either.”  Vi promised.  “I just want to see our options and if we see something we like, I want to research the specific model, make sure it is really what will work for us anyway.  I’ve researched yachts in general, not the specific ones we might see.  So I promise, no pressure to buy yet.”

——————————————- One week later —————————————

“Where should we put Pumpkin’s litter box?”  I asked Vi, who was standing on the sugar scoop, which seemed a really weird name for the bit of the boat with the steps down in the back, not that most of the things you called stuff on boats made much more sense, as I handed her the box labeled cat toys from the dock.  

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you insisted we had to buy this yacht without talking it over.”  Vi complained.  “Or even giving me a chance to research this model.”

“YOU were the one who insisted that a yacht was a good idea and dragged me out to look at them!” I reminded my annoyed wife.  “Are you really unhappy?”

“No.”  Vi admitted.  “I just think we should have taken things a bit more slowly.”

“You were the one who complained that we were running out of time before our lease was up.  And it’s not like we were going to see another one like this one anytime soon.”  I pointed out.  “Isn’t it nice having a few weeks of overlap where we still have the house while we move?”

“Kate,”  Vi said, sounding like she’d just mustered the last of her patience, “I love you, but sometimes you can be a bit impulsive.”

She was right, it had been impulsive when I just said to the salesman that we were ready to buy without asking Vi, especially since I had made Vi promise we were only looking, but I also felt it had been the right decision and I didn’t have an ounce of buyer’s remorse.  The furnished house we had rented for just a single year when we were still just planning our low key wedding, had always been meant to be a temporary home.  We’d known the owners of the house only planned to rent it while they were doing a one year around the world tour.  We just hadn’t realized how hard it was going to be to find an affordable condo that we could buy before our lease was up.

We had started the day of yacht shopping looking at typical diesel yacht after diesel yacht.  Looking at smelly engine room after smelly engine room.  My brain went slightly numb as I took in all the new vocabulary, water maker, day head, wet head, forward, aft, starboard.  Why not just call things by normal names?  Why did they have to call the kitchen a galley and the livingroom the saloon? The salesman had taken us out for short rides on a few of the ones that we liked the layout of. I loved the breeze and gentle rocking motion, but the constant noise of the engine made my head hurt.

I could see some of the appeal, but the noise and smell of diesel just overroad every positive for me. Vi insisted it was my imagination, and they didn’t all smell.  At the end of the last tour the salesman took us on, I had simply said to him and Vi, that unless he could show us something that didn’t need an engine, I was not up for yacht life. 

“Well actually,”  the salesman smiled,  “I’ve got a catamaran that runs on sail and solar that the owners just reduced into your price range yesterday, because they want to sell quickly.  Dividing assets is holding up their divorce.  I hadn’t included it on the list originally, since it had been over your budget till they reduced it, and you hadn’t said anything about sail on the phone.  It had a total refit just 2 years ago.  It’s got an older hull, 2003 Leopard 47, but everything’s been completely updated.  It originally had diesel engines, for when you prefer to motor, but they took them out and replaced them with electric motors and replaced the diesel tanks with lithium ion batteries and put solar panels on every possible surface.  Even the sides to catch reflected light off the water.”

“I don’t want to get stuck because the wind is blowing the wrong way and it isn’t sunny enough.”  Vi stated with apprehension.

“The batteries can be charged with shore power when she’s docked, like an electric car, so you’ve got a pretty decent range just on that, not quite the range of a boat that was built new with electric motors, but of course none of those come close to your price range.  But between using sail instead of motors most of the time and getting the boost from the solar, she’s got amazing range.  And the propeller recharges the batteries when not in use too.  Really, if you aren’t in a rush, you’ve got pretty much unlimited range on her.  If you get stuck in fog with no wind and completely still water, you can just wait that out, then you’re good to go again.”  The salesman assured her.

He started leading us down the dock and onto the medium sized boat, then continued.  “She’s a perfect live-aboard.  Originally the more common charter model with four cabins and four wet heads, but they renovated the hell out of her, so now she’s more like the owner cabin version.  They turned the forward starboard wet head into a full shower and the starboard forward cabin into a walk-in-closet-dressing-room, so the starboard side functions as the owner suite.  They also turned the forward port cabin into a study and the forward port wet head into a laundry room.  So there is just one guest cabin, but the saloon dinette can be lowered and converted into a bed if you have more guests.  They added kayak and bike racks.   Plus they did other stuff, like adding a bigger fridge and freezer.  She’s quite unique. If you’re interested, you’re going to have to act on it quickly.”

“Kate, it’s a lot harder to learn to sail than to pilot a boat with an engine.”  Vi had warned me with obvious trepidation.

“Don’t worry, it has both.”  The salesman assured her.  “You can take her out with just the electric motors till you are comfortable with the sails.”

As soon as our salesman took us out on the nearly silent boat, I was in love.

——————————— Lessons learned ——————————-

When we first moved in, we just stayed docked in our slip, treating the yacht as a floating apartment, while Vi and I took sailing lessons.  Pumpkin adjusted pretty quickly, only falling into the cool salt water once before learning to be careful out on deck.  

Sleeping had been amazing, even in the slip, there was a very subtle rocking that lulled us to sleep,  Vi would lay behind me spooning me, and Pumpkin would snuggle in my arms, and all three of us would be asleep in minutes.  

During the day. Vi would head off to whatever job she had taken for the day, and Pumpkin and I would sit out in the cockpit.  Pumpkin followed the sun, laying in it till his flame colored fur felt as warm as it looked.  I followed the shade cast by the solar panel covered hard top above me as I typed away on my laptop working a job I was lucky enough to be able to do from anywhere.

Vi and I started our sailing lessons right away.  The lessons took up most of our free time every weekend, but they were fun and a nice chance to spend time together.   It was just a week before Vi had a freelance job up the coast, by the time we felt confident enough to finally be ready to actually take our new-to-us yacht out for more than a quick look around the harbor.

I was a little nervous when we got to the beach we planned to visit and just set anchor and left Pumpkin in charge and used the kayaks as tenders to the almost empty beach that had limited access.  It all went fine though, and Pumpkin and the yacht were both fine and right where we’d left them when we paddled back.

We spent the night at anchor.  Away from the city the stars were overwhelmingly numerous.  That night we made love under the Milky Way out on the trampoline by the bow.  Vi stroked me to the rhythm of the waves beneath us.

As we steered back into our slip at the end of our weekend jaunt, I felt like we really had a just about perfect life.  Well except for a few things.  Space, wind, and humidity.

———————————  Already there ——————————

“Here you go.”  I said as I handed the mug of hot cocoa up to Vi who was sitting at the helm.  “Sure you don’t want to trust the autopilot, and come sit down here with me.”

I settled myself down at the table on the other side of the cockpit from the helm

“It makes me nervous how eager you are to trust it.”  Vi said as she held the wheel with one hand and lifted her mug in the other.  “When I do need a break and you take the helm, do you promise not to use it.”

“I promise.”  I chuckled.  “I’m curious, but I respect that this is one of those situations that require two ‘yesses.’”

“Unlike buying a boat.”  Vi teased me.

“It was your idea in the first place.”  I argued back.  “I wouldn’t have told the salesman we were ready to sign if I thought you didn’t want to buy a yacht.  And it’s not like you were screaming ‘NO! NO!’  All you said was that you promised not to pressure me to buy.”

“It’s fine.”  Vi chuckled.  “I think it’s going to work out really well.  And I get to have something to hold over your head.”

“Very funny.”  I pouted at the teasing.  

“You’re happy with your impulsive purchase still?” Vi asked me in a more serious tone.

“Yeah,”  I assured her.  “This week especially.  I love that we could just sail down for this business trip.  I love that I didn’t have to drive you to the airport, or live without the car so you could drive down by yourself.  I love that even though you were on a business trip we could share our bed each night, without me having to tag along to a hotel where I had nothing to do while Pumpkin was stuck at home alone waiting for your sister to stop by for 5 minutes to feed him and scoop his litter.”

“I like that too.” Vi smiled at me.  “And it saved us some money, since all it cost was the slip fee.  I will admit too that getting a sail boat is going to save us a ton on fuel in the long run, even though the sailing lessons cost us a bit up front.   When we’re a little more experienced with this, like next year, we could even save the slip fee cost and just anchor sometimes.”  

“I think it would be difficult to take the bike ashore by kayak though.”  I speculated.

”Maybe,” Vi shrugged.  “We can work on the tender situation some more.  We’re also going to need something bigger if we want to take guests to that beach.  Maybe we can get something that wouldn’t be crazy with the bikes.”

“Did you mind commuting from the dock by bike instead of renting a car like you would have before?”  I checked with her.

“I actually really loved that,” Vi assured me.  “Not just because it saved money, it was more fun than driving.  I love how much more time we’ve been spending outside.”

“It’s really been wonderful.”  I smiled up at Vi.

“So absolutely perfect with no downside at all?”  Vi challenged.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.”  I admitted there’d been one or two things that bugged me.  “Obviously, space is a bit tight. It’s amazing that your parents let us keep so much of our stuff in your old bedroom.  I’d have had to give up three quarters of my yarn stash if they hadn’t and you would have had to give up half of your colored pencils and watercolor supplies, there just isn’t room for all of it in the study.”  

“I’m not sure they’d have given me permission if it had just been my extra paper, pencils, and paints, nevermind my finished drawings and paintings, but you know how much my mom appreciates yarn.” Vi chuckled, then added more seriously.  “The humidity wouldn’t be good for that stuff even if we did have room for it all.  So I guess the humidity is a bit of a downside.”

“It’s kind of been hell on my hair too.” I admitted.

“Yeah,” Vi agreed.

“It’s not just the humidity making it never seem to really dry, it’s the wind and salt too.”

“Mine’s been tangling in the wind too.” Vi said, reaching back and combing her fingers through her little ponytail.

“Well considering you have about a quarter as much hair as I do,” I quipped, “you can imagine mine is even worse.”

“I’ve noticed you complaining about how hard it is to comb out each night. and it feels a bit clammy and knotty when I try to run my fingers through it when we cuddle.”  Vi observed.  ”Plus you wear it pulled back or up so often, I hardly ever get to see or touch it.  This feels like the first time I’ve seen it in days.”

”I’m kind of regretting it being down at the moment, it’s too late now though.  I’m in for a long detangling later.” I confided.  “I should have pulled it back.  You can manage when you don’t pull yours back, since you’ve got a lot less of it than me.”

I stuck my hand into my mass of tangled hair, feeling the slight lingering dampness, as I looked at Vi.  It wasn’t like Vi had short hair, when she got it cut, it generally would still reach her shoulders, then of course it would grow till was a bit below her shoulders and she’d decide it was time for a trim.  At the moment, it was pulled back in a casual ponytail, and she had a baseball cap on over it.  Mine reached the small off my back, so more than twice the length.  Even more relevant than the difference in length, there was a huge difference in volume.  Vi’s straight blonde hair, which I noticed seemed to be getting blonder as we spent more time out in the sun now, was smooth, straight, and kind of thin.  My dark brown hair on the other hand was thick and wavy, really these days with the extra humidity, mostly curly.

“Well,” Vi announced.  “I’m thinking of maybe having less than a quarter of what you’ve got.  Maybe get it cut short enough that it’s not an issue anymore.  Do you think I could pull off short hair?  Or would it look terrible?”

I looked at my wife.  I thought she was absolutely perfect just as she was, and the idea of her changing struck a certain panic button, but looking at her, the rational part of my mind knew it was just a resistance to changing the woman I loved, and not any flaw in my Violet that would make her unable to pull off short hair.  Heck, much of the time Vi’s hair was like it was now anyway, in a ponytail and under a hat, the ponytail sticking out the back having little effect on what she looked like.  Her hair itself should look nice short, the straight blond locks should just lay against her head..  It certainly wasn’t like the smooth hair was going to stick out and look like her head was a ball of frizz.  I swallowed down my apprehension.  

“I think it could look cute if you really want to cut it.”  I reassured her.  “It seems like a kind of drastic solution though.”

“It’s just a haircut, nothing permanent.”  Vi shrugged off my worry.  “If I don’t like it, it will grow back.  Nothing life altering like buying a yacht.  I’ll make an appointment with Jill for some time next week.”

“Make me an appointment too.” I requested.  “I’m due for a trim, and maybe it will be easier to deal with the tangles if I have fewer split ends.  We can go together.  It will be better than me forgetting you are planning this and being shocked by you coming home with short hair.”

“Ok, I’ll see if they can get us both in.”  Vi nodded and took a sip of her hot cocoa.  “Maybe you should get yours cut shorter too.  You’d look great with a bob or pixie.  It would totally solve the hair being so tangled and not drying problem, and we could even save a bit of room in the shower if we didn’t need your industrial sized bottle of conditioner anymore, never mind save a bunch of time when you shower.  What do you think, want to try short hair?  That whole if you don’t like it it’ll grow back counts for you too.”

Vi was wrong about me looking great without my long hair.  Unlike her I wasn’t nearly pretty enough to pull it off.  Vi was constantly telling me how beautiful I was though.  I wasn’t sure if she was deluded or just really good at saying it like she meant it even though it wasn’t true.  I knew that I needed my long hair to look just a little bit pretty, and if I got it cut, I would just immediately want it back, just like last time.

“It takes a really long time to grow back.” I told her.  

“You say that like you’ve had your hair short.”  Vi observed.

“I did actually.” I confessed.  “Mom caught me kissing a boy afterschool.  I was over compensating, you know, so no one would think I was gay.  Mom thought it would put the boys off if I had short hair.  Of course, I didn’t care if it put the boys off, but I didn’t want short hair anyway.  I loved my longhair and the things I could do with it.  I had a bunch of fancy scrunchies.   Most of all I was scared it was going to make everyone know I was gay.”

“I’m sorry I suggested it.”  Vi said softly.  “It just seemed like a good idea.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  I told her, pretending I didn’t care.  “It wasn’t that traumatic that I mind talking about it.  And really, it’s not a crazy suggestion, and I can just ignore it.  Honestly, it is a good idea, it’s just that I don’t want to anyway.  You know what I mean?”

“Hmm”  Vi nodded.

We drifted into a contented quiet, listening to the waves hitting the bow, and drinking our hot cocoas as Vi continued to keep us pointing on our planned course.    

“Hey,”  Vi turned to me after a bit. “can you take the helm so I can use the head?”

“Sure.”  I said, as I slid along the settee.  “I can take it till we get to the marina, so you can just relax for a while, if you want, you’ve been at the helm for a couple of hours, it’s only fair if I take a turn.”

“Thanks babe,” she said as she handed off to me and I got comfortable.  “That would be nice.   We’re only a couple of hours from the dock.”

“I can definitely handle things for a couple of hours,” I assured the nervous woman who was the love of my life with a smile.  “Do you want to hang out here with me in the cockpit, or should I yell down when we get to the marina?”

“I’ll come back up and hang out with you after I use the head.  Though that may involve me taking a nap on the settee behind you”  Vi told me as she gathered up our mugs to take inside to the galley.  Then she asked me,  “Are you looking forward to getting home?”

I looked around at the cockpit where I typically spent most of my day.  I glanced down through the glass door into the saloon and galley, where Pumpkin was curled up in an orange ball on the dinette table sleeping.  I looked across the bow at the trampolines where Vi and I would make love under the stars on nights we were anchored somewhere private.  I thought of the bed I shared with Vi each night that was almost directly below me.  I thought of the day we’d removed the name the old owners had called this boat, following the ceremony google had given us, and replaced it with the decal that proclaimed her “Pumpkin’s Patch.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re already home.”  I smiled at Vi.  “No matter how far we are from our slip at the marina, I still feel like we’re home.”

“You’re right,” Vi nodded as she opened the door to the saloon, “We’re already there.”

————————————- You do you ————————-

“You sure you’re ok with it if I get a short haircut?”  Vi asked me, as we drove from the marina towards our regular salon, sounding a bit nervous.

She’d worn the long blonde locks loose, and they currently rested on her shoulders.   I could understand why Vi was nervous.  It was beautiful hair that many women would be envious of, and on many women, it would have been their best feature.  On Vi though, it was really just a small not particularly defining part of her appearance.  With Vi’s sporty outdoorsy lifestyle and personality, most of the time it was pulled back in a ponytail and under some kind of cap.  And Vi had so many other lovely features that took center stage when the hair was pulled back and not distracting one from noticing them, her sparkling blue eyes, the dimples when she smiled.  The hair was great, but she didn’t need it.

“Honey, you will look great,”  I assured her, “but if you aren’t sure you want to maybe just get it just a little bit shorter, but not really short.”

“If I just go a little bit shorter, I won’t be able to pull it all back into a ponytail,” Vi insisted.  “I want to just go short, unless you mind.”

“The only reason I hesitate to tell you to go for it is because you don’t sound sure,” I claimed, “I don’t want you to regret it.”

“My only worry is that you won’t like it.”  Vi said.

“Then you don’t have any worry,”  I once again assured her,  “ because I think it will be great.”

“Not so great that you want to get yours cut though.”  Vi observed.

“That’s different.”  I said, feeling a bit miffed that she turned things around on me.  “Please tell me that you aren’t just pretending to be nervous to pressure me to cut mine.”

“Sorry babe,” Vi sounded genuinely apologetic, “I didn’t mean it to come out like that.  I just kind of feel like if you really thought short hair looked good, then you wouldn’t be so resistant, so I’m having a hard time believing you are really going to still think I look good with short hair.”

“My not wanting to cut my hair, no matter how practical it would admittedly be, isn’t because I think short hair is generally terrible.” I tried to address my wife’s concern.  “It’s about not fitting me.  My hair isn’t like yours, it poofs.  Plus I don’t really have the right features for it, but you do, you’ve got a perfect face.”

“I definitely don’t have a perfect face.”  Vi snorted.  “I think you could totally pull off short hair.  You have an incredible face that makes me feel all warm inside when I see you smile.”

“I’m glad you think so, but I’m used to seeing if framed by hair.“ I continued.  “And it would just remind me of being that very vulnerable barely teenager who was pretending I wasn’t gay and being dragged into a cheap chain salon, crying and getting all my hair cut off.  And it wasn’t a good haircut.  I don’t think short hair looks bad, I mean when it is done well, not just hacked short with zero respect for curl pattern.  I just have an emotional attachment to my long hair.  Trust me, I mean it when I say that you will look great with short hair if you want it.”

“Ok,” Vi said slowly.  “I do me, you do you.”

—————————————- 

Vi and I sat in the waiting area of the fancy spa salon she’d been going to for as far as I knew her entire life.  Jill, who had cut Vi’s hair since she was a little girl, also did Vi’s mother’s hair since before Vi was born.  Though Vi’s mom, Meridith, didn’t seem to be total besties with Jill, they did seem to be part of some of the same social circles.  Vi and I had been at the supermarket with Meridith one time and ran into Jill, and Meridith and Jill had a long chat about a mutual friend who was starting up a book club.

Vi had introduced me to Jill and the spa salon when I was new to the area and we had first started dating.  I’d needed a trim rather badly and mentioned to Vi on a date that I was nervous about trying a random salon and missed the place I used to go to back when I’d been in college.  It had been a small place just about a half mile from campus and it had Curtis, who was well known as the least scissor-happy stylist ever, to the point that many of the girls at the school avoided him because it was so hard to convince him to take off as much as they wanted.  Of course no matter how great it had been living near a stylist like Curtis, I hadn’t wanted to stay in an area I was scared to be out in.

I rested my head on Vi’s shoulder looking at the pictures of the magazine she thumbed through of short hairstyles.   She’d already bookmarked one, as a possible alternative to the one she had saved on her phone, but she kept flipping through, looking just in case she could find a better version of the simple pixie she wanted.

The wooly blanket I was crocheting for us to use in the cockpit sat mostly ignored in my lap.  I’d been so distracted by the Vi nervously asking my opinion, that I’d barely made any progress on it.  When I saw Jill approaching, I started shoving it back into its project bag.

“Hi ladies, you’ll be happy to hear, the sitting area next to my chair is open today, so you can both come back.” Jill said as she arrived in the waiting area.  “You want to go first as usual Violet?”

“Yeah sure,” Vi said with a nervousness she never had before as we both got up, put down our empty tea cups from the herbal teas the receptionist had given us, and started following Jill, Vi clutching the magazine.  

We had a pretty regular routine when we came to the salon together. I assume Vi and Jill had a similar but simpler routine when Vi went without me, since she got her hair trimmed more often than I did.  Our routine had evolved from the first time Vi had brought me here.  I had been nervous, so Vi said she’d go first, and I could just watch, then she’d promised to stay while I got my haircut.  I think it was the third or fourth time we came that the sitting area next to Jill’s station wasn’t free, so after Vi’s haircut was done, she’d decided to go to the coffee shop while I got mine cut.  I was only a little bit nervous by then, so I had just given Vi a quick peck on the cheek, and gone off with Jill to get just an inch for split ends trimmed.

Jill was dropping me off at the empty chair before she was going to take Vi to the washstation, when she asked, “What’s the magazine for?”

“I want a new style.” Vi answered just a little nervously.  “Something that won’t blow in my face and is easier to deal with.”

“Ok,” Jill simply accepted the revelation fairly unfazed.  “Kate, you don’t mind holding it while I shampoo Violet?  We can look at it after.”

As Vi and Jill went to the sinks in the back, I thumbed through the magazine while I waited for them to come back.

I was almost at the back of the magazine when I stumbled across a haircut that I thought was particularly cute.  Though it was very short on the back and sides, the top and front lay softly across the model’s forehead, and the hairline ended in a very elegant point.  The model’s hair was thick and dark brown, more like mine than Vi’s, but the model’s soft blue eyes reminded me more of Vi’s than of my hazel eyes, and the sweep of hair just brought so much attention to the eyes, and of course I thought bringing attention to Vi’s eyes would be good. I was sitting staring at it when Jill and Vi got back.

“…..so up over the ears?”  Jill asked as Vi sat down with her wet somewhat long hair wrapped in a towel.  Jill and Vi obviously had already started talking about Vi’s upcoming haircut.

“I don’t know.”  Vi said, as she pulled the towel back trying  to look at her ears in the mirror.  “I didn’t really think about my ears.  Yeah, I guess I don’t really care whether or not it’s up over the ears, as long as it isn’t going to make me look like a boy.  Here, let me show you some pictures, and you can tell me.  I have a few on my phone, and then there was one I thought might work in the magazine.”

Vi pulled out her phone and started showing pictures to Jill, while Jill started shaking out the silver gray nylon cape with the salon’s logo on it.  As Vi swiped through the pictures, saying things like, “I love the back on this, but not the front,” and “this is really cool looking, but looks like it needs a lot of styling and I want wash’n go,”  Jill fastened the cape around Vi’s neck.  Belatedly, I wished I hadn’t given Vi a hickie the night before, but if Jill noticed the telltale bruise she was fastening the collar of the cape over she was doing a damned good job pretending she didn’t.  Jill nodded and made a few comments herself about the pictures as she unwrapped the towel and squeezed excess moisture from Vi’s hair.  

“Let me see the one in the magazine,” Jill said to me, as she began combing out Vi’s soon to be gone length.  

I held up the one that Vi had bookmarked for them to look at and discuss.  Jill looked at it as she spread Vi’s smoothed out hair over her shoulders.

“We could do something more like this one in the front, but more like that first picture you showed me in the back, though you’ve got that cowlick, which might change things.”  Jill suggested to Vi as I held up the picture.  “It’s actually going to be just brushing the tops of your ears, so be sure that you don’t have a preference, because it will neither hide them nor just be off them.  Which if you cared could be the worst of both.”

“Hmmm,” Vi said, pulling it back up on her phone, then she held it up for me to look at.  “What do you think, you’re the one who is stuck staring at me most of the time.”

“I love staring at you, and I think that would be fine.  You have very pretty ears, and tuck your hair behind them most of the time anyway, so I don’t think you will mind hair touching them.” I assured my lovely wife, but then I told them, “I found another option, too.  I saw one I thought would be really pretty on Violet.   The neckline is really elegant, and I thought the shape in the front would bring out her eyes.  The model’s eye’s are a lot like Violet’s.”

“Ok, let’s see.” Jill encouraged me to turn to the page.  When they looked at it though, Jill pursed her lips, and Vi tilted her head.  “That’s really pretty Kate, and I see what you mean about the model’s eyes, but the model’s hair texture is nothing like Violet’s.  The neckline is elegant, but Violet has that cowlick so it’s not possible.  And Violet’s hair is too straight for that to work.  If I cut hair this straight like that, it would flop down covering Violet’s eyes, not bringing them out.  That is a good style for someone with thick wavy hair, more like yours actually.  Really, other than the eye’s that model is more like you than Vi, jawline, the shape of her hairline.  If you love it, that would look really cute on you.“

“Since you like it, maybe you should get it.  You would look really cute with it Kate.  And it would be a lot easier to deal with. ”  Vi suggested, even though I had thought she’d accepted that I didn’t want to cut my hair short, too.  “If you’re rethinking keeping it long.”

I looked down at the picture I had lowered to my lap.  While the model definitely had darker hair like mine, and it was admittedly thick and wavy, I didn’t believe mine could be smooth like that instead of just frizzy.  And though I had to admit the model had a few features that were somewhat like mine, they came together very differently.  She just plain and simply was much much prettier than I was.  Vi and Jill were crazy if they thought I could pull off looking anything like the model.  Vi’s motivation to pretend it would work on me was clear, she wanted me to take less time and space in the shower.  Jill’s motives were a little more obscure.  Maybe she just enjoyed the thrill of the transformation, seeing the giant piles of hair on the floor.  Or maybe it was because short hair needed to be cut more frequently, so enticing as many clients to go short as possible meant more money.

I supposed I should give them the benefit of the doubt, and just assume they either were delusional and actually believed I could pull off the haircut.  Maybe they just were trying to be nice and not tell me I wasn’t pretty enough.  Maybe they thought being supportive was more important than whether or not it would look good, which I suppose was a little bit how I was being about Vi cutting her hair, supportive even though I was a little apprehensive.

“I’m not rethinking it.”  I just said grumpily, closing the magazine in my lap.

“I just thought you might have changed your mind, since you were looking at one that makes more sense for you than me.” Vi said just a little defensively.  “I thought maybe you got inspired while looking over my shoulder.”

“I like my hair long,” I just said knowing I sounded a little sulky.

“That’s fine honey, you don’t have to get that today if you don’t want to.” Jill soothed.  “We’ll just do a one inch trim when it’s your turn.  Ok?”

I just nodded.  Then Jill and Vi got back to talking about Vi’s hair as Jill started sectioning it.  

Jill sectioned it a little differently than she usually did, parting the back at an angle instead of straight across.  Then she guided Vi’s head down instead of having her straight up.  Jill combed a sliver of Vi’s light hair straight away from Vi’s head, instead of smoothing it flat against Vi’s back.  The final difference was Jill trapped Vi’s hair between her fingers, which almost touched Vi’s scalp, instead of pressing it against Vi’s back with the comb.

Jill raised her shiny silver scissors and started snipping.

Shnip, shnip, shnip 

Jill let the long lock drop to the floor behind Vi. Left on the back of Vi’s head, was hair that just stood up, extending less than an inch.  Then Jill combed it down, and tapped at it slightly, while looking at it intently.  I think she was deciding if she was happy with the length or something. I guess she wasn’t, because she combed it back up, this time Jill’s fingers actually were pressed against Vi’s scalp as she cut a little bit more off. 

Snip, snip, click

The tiny snippets of hair stuck to Jill’s fingers.  When she had finished cutting the sections, she shook the little bits of hair down to the floor.  She then did the combing down and tapping thing again, this time she seemed satisfied, because she combed up a new section of longer hair along with some from the previous section she seemed to be using to measure against.  She began snipping again.

Shnup, snip, shnip

I watched the long strands of wet hair fall heavily to the floor.  I suddenly wondered, if maybe Vi should have had Jill cut it in a ponytail first so she could donate it.  I looked down at the floor, my brain trying to calculate the length that lay there.

“Why are you frowning so?”  Vi asked me, her eye’s looking towards me as best they could while she had her head bowed slightly forward to give Jill easy access to the hair on the back of her head.  “Is it that terrible?”

“Huh?” I took a moment to bring myself out of my own head.  “No, it looks fine so far, though it’s kind of early to tell.  I was just wondering if your hair was long enough to donate.”

“It isn’t.”  Jill informed us as she dropped more of the long, just not long enough, blonde hair to the floor.  “Maybe a little bit at the very top, but not enough to be worth it.  Now if you have changed your mind, and are ready to go short, and get that style you picked out in the magazine, you have more than enough to donate.”

I frowned.  I hated that Jill had suggested my getting a short haircut again.  I hated the way she worded it with “ready” as though it was something I just needed a little time on, as opposed to something I firmly knew I never wanted.  I hated feeling put on the spot, like if I didn’t agree to a short haircut now I was being selfish for not donating my hair.

“I didn’t pick it out for myself,” I said in a small voice, wishing I had just let Vi do this by herself.  “I just thought Vi would like it.”

“I thought it was really cute,” Vi said as her eyes followed a lock of her hair land in her lap, “but it could never look like that on me.  You’re the one with the thick wavy hair that could do what the model’s hair was doing.  So it just seemed like maybe you were thinking about it for yourself.  And if you were, we don’t want to discourage you.”

“But I wasn’t.”  I protested as Jill let a bit more of Vi’s still long hair down over the already short section that covered much of the back of Vi’s head.  “I didn’t even think about what it might look like on me.  I really can’t imagine myself with short hair and not just looking like I did in 7th and 8th grade.”

“Did you get a haircut you didn’t like in 7th grade?”  Jill asked me casually.

“Mom wanted to put off the boys.  Instead of picking a style she just told the hairstylist to make it short and less grownup looking, more little kid than teenage girl.”  I remembered the words, the stylist just nodding, ignoring me and then asking mom if boy short was what she meant as I sat there pleading no.

“Was it that bad?” Jill asked me gently as she snipped off the lock of Vi’s hair in her fingers not quite as closely to Vi’s scalp as the hair down near the hairline.

“Yes,” I simply said, remembering the frizz that had just stuck out.

“Well, we will keep it long then.”  Jill promised me, I guess realizing she was making me nervous as she cropped my wife’s hair.  “Just a one inch trim when it’s your turn.”

We changed topics then, talking about how Pumpkin was adapting to being a nautical kitty.  The new subject only helped put me at ease a little though.  My thoughts wandered, and I found myself daydreaming.  In my imagination, Jill was cutting all of my hair off instead of Violet’s.  

***************************************

I imagined sitting in the styling chair, and Vi and Jill simply agreeing with each other.  Jill ignoring me the way the stylist at the chain salon had ignored me.

“Oh just cut it all off nice and short,”  Vi said to Jill who was fastening the cape around me, “it will be so much more convenient.  Shorter than mine since it’s so thick.”

“Yes, much shorter would be better.”  Jill flicked my hair around.  “The shorter I cut it, the more we can donate.”

Somehow I just sat there, not getting up, not saying anything.  as Jill grabbed handfuls of my hair and hacked it off right next to my scalp.  Then she’d hand the long wavy locks over to Vi, who held them in a bundle.

I looked at the mirror, seeing barely teenage me staring back.  Jill and Vi just laughing and commenting that it was true that it just looked like a ball of frizz.

***************************************

The laughing was actually at Pumpkin’s expense as Vi described to Jill how Pumpkin kept shaking his paws after he’d fallen in the water and we’d dragged him back on board by the scruff of his neck after convincing him to swim to the sugar scoop.  As she told the story, she shook her hands, imitating the way Pumpkin had flicked the salty water off his paws.  The motion caused the cut off locks of hair that had collected on my wife’s lap and shoulders to slide to the floor. 

Jill was of course snipping carefully and precisely as she worked her way up the back of Vi’s head, not hacking it off in big chunks like she had in my paranoid daydream.  Still, it was a lot of hair on the floor already, and she was still working her way up the back of Vi’s head.

As Jill worked her way up, she gradually cut my wife’s hair just a bit less severely short.  Jill combed the long locks from where the hair swirled at Vi’s crown up into her fingers, and sliced off most of the length.  When the short hair fell back to Vi’s head, Jill ruffled it a bit, observing where it wanted to lay or stick out.  Then she combed it back up into her fingers again, and snipped more precisely at a particular angle.  It was really obvious that Jill was taking levels of care that were magnitudes greater than the careless quick shearing I had endured years earlier.

Finished with the back, Jill released the clip that held the hair on the side of Vi’s head out of her way, letting the long wet bundle of hair fall over Vi’s ear.  Jill combed it into her fingers again, but this time she held it out towards the side instead of back behind Vi’s head as she raised her shears and started snipping.

Shnnip, sssshnip, snnnip

Vi suddenly paused telling Jill about how we had tried but given up trying to keep Pumpkin off the saloon dinette table since we rarely ate at it anyway, her eyes focused on the mirror.  Jill had worked her way up and forward enough that Vi could finally actually see the hair she was losing.  Her eyes went a bit wide watching the long lock dropped to the floor.

“Do you think Pumpkin will recognize you?”  I decided to tease her to break the sudden tension.

Somehow Vi didn’t take it as a joke though, turning towards me with a worried expression.  The movement forced Jill to pause her snipping as the half short half long hair above Vi’s ear pulled from Jill’s fingers.  Jill steered Vi’s head back to center.

“I’m just teasing,” I assured Vi with a smile.

“Yeah, but now you’ve made me think about it,”  Vi complained, not returning my smile,  but instead watching as Jill finished snipping the long hair above her ear off so that it just covered the very top of Vi’s pale ear.

“Don’t worry.”  Jill chuckled at Vi’s expression as she kept slicing away at the hair at Vi’s temple.  “I’m pretty sure Pumpkin will still recognize your smell and voice and face.  It’s not like Pumpkin can’t recognize you when you change your clothing.”

“I know,”  Vi said, sounding somewhat embarrassed that she’d taken the teasing seriously for a second, her eye’s looking at the long blonde lock draped over her toned shoulder.  “I’m just a little on edge.”

“You’re going to love having short hair.”  Jill promised Vi as the scissors nibbled Vi’s sideburn down to soft fuzz.  “And if you don’t you can just grow it out.  See, doesn’t this look good?”

Jill looked at me, obviously hoping for confirmation, as she combed through the short hair on the side of Vi’s head taking a few little snips.

“Vi has perfect ears, and it’s so nice to see the way her jaw leads down to her very kissable neck,”  I said, while Jill raised a warning eyebrow at me to not get too graphic as she released the still long hair on the other side of Vi’s head.  “It looks like it will frame Vi’s face perfectly.”

Vi still looked nervous as Jill sliced off the hair behind her other ear, but smiled,  “Thanks babe.”

“So,”  Jill changed subjects as she began to snip the hair above Vi’s ear the same length as the previous side, just letting the long blonde locks fall to Vi’s shoulder and lap,  “how is the plan to just use your kayaks as tenders going?”

“Great when it’s just Kate and me, but we are going to need to get an inflatable dinghy for when we have guests”  Vi relaxed into the new subject.

I just sat, watching my beautiful wife being transformed, and listening to the casual chat.  Jill took out the last clip, and released the long hair from the top of Vi’s head.  It spilled down untwisting just a little from the coil it had been in.  This time Jill just lifted the whole mass, and started combing it smooth as a bundle.  She held the whole bundle up and angled very slightly back, and began slicing through, pulling the hair forward as the sharp blades just glided through.  When Jill sliced through the last few strands, the suddenly short locks flopped down onto Vi’s forehead, and down over her pretty blue eyes.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be less in my eyes?’  Vi pointed out.

“It will be soon,”  Jill promised with a chuckle as she dropped the handful of wet locks to the side with a plop.

Jill then ruffled the floppy hair that hung over my wife’s piercing eyes, and began to slide cut individual locks.  Gliding the scissors forward through the locks that flopped on my wife’s face, severing strands as they went.  I thought how the blades must have been razor sharp as I watched them simply glide along the strands of hair cutting slivers off the locks.  Some locks Jill lifted up and pinched, especially the ones at the top of Vi’s head, but others she left hanging as they had fallen, and she let the dull side of the open scissors skate across the hairs below them, or even against the skin of Vi’s scalp and forehead.   Bits of the short hair fell steadily, mostly in front of Vi’s face, and into her lap.

After Jill had sliced for several minutes,  Vi’s eyes were mostly uncovered, just a few soft points from her bangs were barely long enough to brush her pale eyelashes.  As Vi blinked, Jill combed through, knocking a bunch of hair from the top of Vi’s head to her shoulders.  After combing, Jill ruffled Vi’s hair extra vigorously, and the little points she’d cut started to simply lay towards the side, sweeping across Vi’s forehead.   Jill continued to slice, but more slowly, ruffling after each cut to see the effect each alteration made.  I could see the haircut was mostly done, and that at this point any changes to my wife’s appearance were going to be minor.

“Hey Jill,”  said a much younger woman, not just obviously younger than Jill, but I suspected younger than Vi and myself too,  as she approached us.  I could just barely remember her name, something with an el, maybe Laura or Lara?

“Hi Lauren.”  Jill said as she ruffled Vi’s hair again.

“Did you want me to shampoo your next client?”  Lauren asked.

“Think you can live without the reassurance of your wife for ten minutes?”  Jill teased Vi.

“I think I’m ok,” Vi grumbled slightly embarrassedly at the teasing.

“Ok, you can take Kate to get washed.”  Jill told Lauren.  “Thank you.”

So I got up and followed Lauren off to the back of the shop, only a little reluctantly.  Vi would be fine.  I left the magazine on the seat.

——————————— Plotting ———————————-

Laying back and just letting Lauren wash my hair with my eyes closed helped me let go of some of the stress I realized I’d been holding onto.  The water was warm and Laurens fingertips rubbing in tiny circles against my scalp made the muscles unclench.  After she’d rinsed away the suds, I simply appreciated the time and care she put into working the various conditioning concoctions thoroughly into the mass.  When Lauren was done, she wrapped me in a towel, and sent me back in the direction of Jill’s chair.

“It’s nice and fits her style, but I think the bangs would make her nervous,”  Jill commented as she looked over Vi’s shoulder briefly before returning to snipping at the back of Vi’s head that was covered in a now dry short pelt of hair.  She ran her comb up through the short pelt, and snapped the blade of the scissor right against the tines of the comb.  Dry snippets fell slowly through the air.  

“She needs the bangs because of the whole forehead thing.   We could try to talk her into it,”  Vi commented as she looked at the magazine.  “She’s so ready for a change.  You know how long she’s had her current style.  Maybe we can talk her into just closing her eyes and letting you do what you want.”

“I know she enjoys surprises, and it will be a good look.  It’s a fair amount of length to lose, though.”  Jill said as she picked up her trimmer from the counter under the mirror.  “Are you sure she’ll think it’s a good surprise?”

“When she sees how great it looks, she’ll love it.”  Vi claimed confidently.  “She just has a hard time picturing these things ahead of time.”

I stood there, my heart pounding so hard, I could feel it against my ribs as I watched Jill shaving a high clean neckline on the wife I loved and thought I could trust.  The daydream that had felt so paranoid earlier, suddenly seemed a lot less paranoid.  How could she plot against me like this?  And what did she mean by “the forehead thing?”  As Jill went to put the trimmer back on her counter, she noticed me, and a slightly concerned look came over her face.  Was she wondering how much I’d heard and trying to figure out if she could get away with playing dumb?

“Are you ok Kate?”  Jill asked as she picked up her texturizing shears.  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Vi turned and looked at me, her whole face frowning.  “You don’t like it do you?  Is it too short?  Do I look like a guy?”

I stared at her, how could they just pretend like this.  “I heard you plotting.”

“Well don’t tell mom and ruin the surprise.”  Vi just said her brow wrinkled with a bit of confused concern.  “Do I just look too different?”

“What do you mean don’t tell mom?”  I asked with incredulity, I suppose if I brought her mom into it, she would tell Vi it was a bad idea, but it wasn’t like her mom was here.

“You said you heard us plotting…?”  Vi reminded me, her concern giving way to greater confusion.  Then it was like the proverbial light bulb went off.  “Oh, you only heard half the conversation, didn’t you?  You thought we were planning to surprise you?”

I gave a very very slight nod.

“Relax, I know you would hate getting surprised with a spa day.”  Vi sighed with a combination of relief that I was upset by their plotting and not her new haircut and frustration that I had reacted so strongly and jumped to conclusions.  “The spa day and makeover is for mom.  I promise I’m not planning to have you tortured with a relaxing massage… So I look ok?”

“Hmmm?”  I tried to just accept that I had misunderstood and move on.  “The forehead thing?”

”Mom’s obsessed with the lines on her forehead, but terrified of getting botox like all her friends keep doing.”  Vi explained, sounding exasperated.  “Do I look ok?”

“Oh,”  I said, finally beginning to relax slightly, it made sense, I’d heard Meredith complaining to Vi about her forehead lines a few times.  Then I offered the reassurance my wife obviously needed.  “You’re still beautiful.”

I went over and took the empty seat, watching as Jill took just a few very deliberate snips with the toothy shears, sending a bit more of my wife’s blonde hair raining down.  I was noticing though, that it was a fair bit less blonde than it had been.  I knew though, that a bit of time in the sun would remedy that.  Jill switched between texturizing and regular shears a few times, decidedly not really taking off significant length, but just blending out little bits here and there, making any visible lines disappear, and getting the hair to just fall to the side instead of towards Vi’s beautiful eyes.  

She did come back with the trimmer, and take Vi’s hairline a bit higher, saying,  “That cowlick on your hairline just will not stay down without the weight from the longer hair.  And I know you don’t want to be trying to smooth it down with product.  I’ve always been able to either tame or hide it before, but with it this short, none of that is working.”

As I sat watching Jill shave off the little swirl, I was thinking why couldn’t we just embrace that Vi had a little swirl and accept it.  I suppose to Jill though, it didn’t seem like a cute quirk, but something that marred a perfection she’d achieved everywhere else.  After Jill finished shaving my wife’s new higher hairline, she came back with the shears and nipped at the hardline that the trimmer had carved, till it looked soft again.  And finally combed up the back of my wife’s head once again, snapping the tips of the scissors against the comb, sending the finest rain of hair dust to the caped shoulders below.

I was relieved to see that Jill finally seemed finished.  She used the comb to brush the debris of hair from Vi’s shoulders to the floor, and began to carefully remove the cape that had been protecting Vi’s khaki shorts and white blouse.

As Jill let the hair from the cape slide off to the side, instead of onto Vi’s sandaled feet, it joined the circle of blonde locks that surrounded the chair.  It was a massive amount of hair on the floor.  Hair that just an hour ago had been part of my wife.  Hair that I had run my fingers through.  Hair that last night I had held to the side while nibbling and sucking on my wife’s neck.  All that hair now waited on the floor to be swept up getting stepped on.  

Jill held up her hand mirror showing Vi the back of her head.  Vi petted it just a little nervously, turning her head and looking at it intently.  Then she started getting up.

“It’s a bit shorter in the back than I expected, but I guess that’s because of the cowlick thing.”   Vi checked with me, for the millionth time. “Do you like it?”

“It looks great honey,” I assured her as I stood.  “You’re just as pretty, just a bit different.”

We stood there, as I gently stroked my newly short haired wife.  The fresh ends feeling ever so slightly prickly under my palm.  I ran my fingers down to her neck, feeling the soft stubble.  I looked into the blue eyes that the short hair didn’t threaten to cover, and smiled.  It would take a bit of getting used to, but it really was nice.

—————————————- Your turn ———————————————

“Kate, you can play with Violet’s hair all night tonight,”  Jill chastised.  “Right now we need to get to your haircut before my next client shows up.  It’s your turn.”

I pulled away from Vi a bit reluctantly.  Though just enjoying physical contact with Vi was nice, it was the lesser reason for my reluctance.  As much as I knew my sudden fear that Jill and Vi were going to just take over and cut off all my hair was completely silly, the anxiety from thinking about it lingered.

I sat in the chair and watched Jill gently shake out the cape, little snippets of blonde hair falling from it and catching the light like glitter, my hands in my lap fidgeting.  I forced myself to try to just look relaxed and not browbeat Jill to swear on a stack of bibles that they had been talking about surprising Meridith, not me. 

“I’m going to go to the green grocer and start on our errand list.”  Vi announced as she casually petted the back of her freshly cropped hair. 

I was torn.  On the one hand, Vi had played a consistent role of spurring Jill on in my paranoid fantasy.  On the other hand, I knew it was just a paranoid daydream and Vi was the person I loved and ultimately I trusted her.   Though I also had grown to trust Jill, I was feeling vulnerable and just wanted the comfort only Vi could give me.

“Can you just wait for me?”  I asked because it sounded better than begging her to stay and protect me.  “I want to go to the green grocer with you.”

Vi looked at me a little quizzically, because the green grocer has never been one of my favorite places, but I guess she could see I was just feeling nervous, so she smiled and took the empty seat.  “Sure babe.  I’ll wait and we can pick out fruits for that fruit salad together.”

As Jill fastened the cape around my neck, then started combing out my hair, Jill and Vi continued planning out a surprise spa day for Meridith’s fifty seventh birthday.  I tried not to seem as tense as I was, and hide that I was hyper-focused on every stroke of the comb.  Jill hadn’t actually picked up the scissors yet, so being so hyper-vigilant was unnecessary, but I couldn’t let go of the anxiety.  It didn’t take long till my long hair was fully smoothed out, since Lauren had left it tangle free and thoroughly conditioned.

“Ok, stand up Kate.”  Jill encouraged me with a pat on the shoulders, just the way she usually did.

Standing up, in front of the chair as Jill picked up the scissors was reassuring.  She only needed me to stand because the point she would be snipping my hair across at fell below the backrest of the styling chair.  My hair only just reached the better to stand than to sit length, if she’d been planning to cut my hair even just a little shorter than usual, sitting would make more sense.

I stood there a little less nervously as Jill gently made sure my head and body were properly aligned.  It felt like it was taking longer than usual, which it probably was since my muscles were so tense.  Of course the irony was, that it taking longer was making me more anxious, which in turn made me tense up even more, making it take even longer.  I took a deep breath, and finally relaxed enough to manage to stand straight the way Jill was guiding me to.

Jill sat down in the styling chair, pressed the comb against my back in the usual spot, and began to snip across.  I stared at the mirror, even though I couldn’t actually see what was happening.  I mostly paid attention to what I could feel, over analyzing each stroke of the comb, scared it would stop higher than usual.  It didn’t though, and soon I felt Jill do a last comb through, then start to get up.

“Ok, sit down Kate so I can do your layers,” Jill told me.

I hesitated.  I’d made it through the first part of this haircut, not having a panic attack, but the second part was more nerve wracking.  I would be sitting the way people did when they got their hair cut shorter than mine, and since Jill would be combing the hair out and away from my head, I wouldn’t be able to feel exactly where she was cutting.

“Maybe I should grow out the layers?” I suggested, even though I didn’t really want to, it just felt safer.  “It might make it easier to keep back in a braid.  And maybe it would tangle less in the wind.”

Jill just gave me a mildly confused look, but Vi spoke up.  “What are you talking about?  You don’t have any trouble putting your hair up.  If anything, you should be asking for more layers to lighten it up a bit so it can dry faster.”

I began to regret asking Vi to stay, and I think it was showing on my face.  Jill looked at me, the confusion fading as she seemed to sense why I was nervous.

“Hush Violet,”  Jill ordered.  “You’re making your wife anxious.  I promise, I will just take an inch off the layers Kate.  They will still be more than long enough to pull back or put up out of your way.  Ok?”

I nodded and sat, a little embarrassed that Jill had noticed I was just scared.  I waited as Jill spread out the cape and combed through my long hair again.  Starting near the front, she combed the first long layer up and away from my head, and trapped the lock in her fingers and snipped a jagged inch off the end of it, the cut hair falling into my lap, where I wished I could actually measure it.

Jill kept trimming my layers, the only difference from the way it usually went was my eyes were glued to the mirror.  It felt a bit like the first time I’d had Jill cut my hair.  Vi had sat there chatting with Jill, encouraging me to get more cut, that time just because I had so many split ends and it had been so long since I’d gotten a trim.  Jill had asked me if I wanted her to add layers in a tone that suggested yes was the right answer.  Instead of saying no, I’d just said that layers didn’t work for me because without the weight from the length my hair was frizzy.  Jill had simply scoffed that it wouldn’t be a problem because she, giving the implication of unlike most stylists, was going to respect my curl pattern.  Of course that time, since she was cutting the layers in for the first time, not just trimming the already existing layers, several inches of hair had drifted down to my lap making my heart race.  Of course when she was done and had twisted and scrunched my hair using the diffuser to dry it, she’d been right, instead of frizz, I’d had lovely loose curls.

“There you go,”  Jill said as she pushed my long damp hair forward.  “Just barely any difference in length, but all nice and healthy looking.  Now do you want me to wake up the curls, or do you want a blow out?”

“Let’s do the blow out.”  I requested, the curls would be back as soon as a bit of sea spray hit anyway, and the blow out would make my hair look longer, which was a reassurance I could use in the moment.

—————————— Parental Affection ——————————

We ran a few other errands after the green grocer, before we’d headed over to Vi’s parents house for dinner and a chance to pick up some yarn and drop off a few of Vi’s finished paintings.  

“Hi mom, hi dad,”  Vi called into the house as we entered, the pair of bichon frise, Starsky and Hutch, yapping excitedly up at Vi.  She lifted one up, I think Hutch not Starsky, but I wasn’t sure, and just let the other follow as she walked towards the family room announcing,  “I have a little surprise!”

I followed shyly hanging back behind Vi, carrying the tote bag of fruit salad ingredients.  When we got to the family room Meredith was on one end of the couch doing needlepoint, and Rob, Vi’s father, was on the other end playing with his baseball card collection.  Meredith looked very much like an older version of Vi, well, now an older longer haired version of Vi.  Rod was a typical healthy businessman type, with light graying hair cut in the usual style and dressed in casual clothing that made him look like he belonged on a golf course.  They both looked up at Vi as she put the small wiggly white dog down.

“EEeee!” Meredith squeed.  “You got your hair cut!  Wow, it’s short! Oh my, it’s adorable!”

“It looks great sweetie,” Rob said more mildly, getting up.  “Hi, Kate.  Here let me give you a hand with that.”

“Thank you,”  I said softly, as I released the bag full of fruit Rob was taking from me.

Meredith had gotten up and was petting down the back of Vi’s head, Rob just headed towards the kitchen.  I followed Rob towards the kitchen, leaving Vi and Meredith to squee over her cute new haircut with the dogs excitedly circling their feet and yapping happily.  

In the much quieter kitchen, Rod simply started getting out what we would need to make the fruit salad, the colander for washing the fruit, a couple of cutting boards to chop the fruit on, and a big bowl.  I took the blackberries from the bag and began washing them as Rob started cutting open the honeydew melon.

“So, Kate,” Rob started the conversation.  “Were you shocked when Vi cut her hair?  Vi says you don’t like surprises.”

“She told me ahead of time, and I went with her.”  I explained.

“Are you happy with it?”  Rob asked in a carefully neutral tone.  

“Yeah.  She looks great and seems really pleased.”  I said, leaving out that I had been enjoying petting her head all afternoon.

“Wonderful.”  Rob smiled.  “So how’s Pumpkin doing?”

Rob and I just casually chatted as we prepared the fruit for the salad.  This kind of thing always felt weird to me, just hanging out with Vi’s parents and them being nice to me.  I always felt guilty about having contributed to the corruption of their daughter, and them being just nice made the guilt hurt more.  I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty, it wasn’t like I’d turned Vi gay, and her parents didn’t even seem to mind Vi being a lesbian anyway, I still felt bad about it though.

I felt even stranger around Meredith than Rob.  Rob was just nice in a gentle calm way, Meredith was down right affectionate.  Affection from my own mother scared me, I was used to it being a manipulation before something bad happened.  So even though I knew Meredith was just genuinely being a caring person, it was hard to just accept the affection.

I was just juliening the mint leaves when Vi and Meredith walked in happily chatting.  The clatter of little paws on the tile floor followed behind them.  Vi gave me a quick kiss, and then went over to her dad and stole a little fruit from his cutting board. 

“I’m sorry Kate,”  Meredith said, coming over and putting an arm around me to give me a half hug.  “I was so distracted by Violet’s hair I didn’t say hi.  How are you doing Kate?”

I feel guilty that I am making your daughter gay, and I’m embarrassed about how I acted at the salon, and I’m scared I will accidentally blurt out your birthday surprise, and I’m nervous she wants me to get a short haircut too, which she has good reason to want, and I feel bad that I just am not pretty enough to pull it off, but most of all you being so nice is just making me feel weird that my mom never was.

“I’m good.”  I said the polite thing instead of telling her how I actually felt.

“Did you get your hair done too Kate?” Meredith asked as she tenderly stroked down the smooth length.  “It seems extra shiny.”

“I just got a little trim and a blow out.”  I said.

“Well it looks nice and healthy,”  Meredith complimented,  “You have such lovely thick hair.”

I don’t need to argue.  I don’t need to say it’s not lovely.  I don’t need to point out the downsides of thick hair.  I can just accept a compliment.  Accepting a compliment doesn’t make me bad, vain, conceited, full of myself.  It’s ok to just let people say nice things and be gracious.  It’s normal to just accept compliments.

“Thank you.”  I said shyly and looked down.

“Hi mom. Hi dad.”  Vi’s little sister, Julie, called in from the front door.  “Are Vi and Kate here yet?”

“Want to go show her?”  Meredith asked Vi.

Vi just smiled and started walking towards the front hall.  Meredith gave my back a pat and quickly followed, accompanied by the clattering of doggy nail on tile.  Moments later the delighted squeeing and yapping started again. 

——————————- Happy Birthday Mom ———————————

We were anchored just offshore from what had become our favorite beach.  We’d just finished dinner in the cockpit with Vi’s family.  Vi and I were clearing away the dishes, and assuring her family that we really didn’t need help, since there was barely room for Vi and I to both be in the galley at the same time.  Having extra people who didn’t know where everything went was a hindrance, not a help.

“Let’s do presents before cake,”  Vi announced as she sat down back in the cockpit after the last dish was in the sink.  “Give us a little time to digest dinner.”

“You don’t think I’m getting a little old for presents.”  Meredith protested not too convincingly.

“You’re never too old for presents,” Julie proclaimed before getting up, giving her mother a soft peck on her forehead, and heading to where she’d left her overnight bag, while adding,  “Even if you are incredibly ancient now.”

“Very funny,” Meredith gently complained.

Julie returned with a wrapped package, placed it in front of Meredith and said, “Happy birthday mom.”

Meredith carefully opened the package, and pulled out the lace knit shawl.  “Oh Julie, this must have taken you months.  It is absolutely stunning.  And you picked such a lovely color of yarn.  Thank you.  What yarn is it?”

“It’s a fingering weight silk cashmere blend from an indy dyer.”  Julie told her proudly, I knew Meredith was one of those rare people who actually understood that and appreciated what it meant.  “The colorway is ‘Iris Garden.’”

Meredith cheerfully wrapped herself in the warm but lightweight garment, that did seem to be just the right thing for the slight breeze that was coming across the ocean.

Vi nudged me.  I knew she kept saying the little needle felted dogs I’d made were perfect gifts.  I kept feeling like they weren’t good enough.  Vi kept assuring me that her mother would truly appreciate them.  She also claimed I’d done an amazing job at capturing the differences between Starsky and Hutch, when in reality, I couldn’t tell the two fluffy white dogs apart.  I’d made them exactly the same, and any variation was simply because I was a person, not a machine.  Just a little reluctantly, I got up and grabbed the gift bag with them from the storage compartment in the settee behind the helm seat.  

“Happy birthday Meredith,” I intoned as I handed over my small offering.

“Oh my god,” Meredith squeed with delight after she’d eagerly opened the package.  “It’s Starsky and Hutch.  It’s just like them!  Look Rob.  Thank you so much Kate.”

After a few minutes of mini Starsky and Hutch being passed around, and everyone being amazed at how well I had captured their likenesses, Rob produced a small jewelry box from his pocket that contained a pair of tanzanite earrings that everyone agreed went perfectly with Meredith’s eyes.  Then it was finally time for Vi to bring out her gift.

“Here you go,”  Vi said as she handed over the pink envelope to her mother.  “It’s a spa day for two.  It’s fully planned out, and paid for, all you have to do is show up next Wednesday and relax with a friend.  And if you are really up for a big surprise, Jill and I picked out a new hairstyle for you together.  You can just close your eyes and let Jill give you a makeover, then show you when it’s all done.”

“Oh Violet, that sounds so exciting!”  Meredith exclaimed.  “Now I just need to find out which of my friends is free to go next Wednesday.”

“I’m free on Wednesday.”  Julie shared with a bit of hopeful casualness.

“I got it for mom not you,” Vi complained to her little sister.  “Let mom enjoy some grown-up time with one of her friends.”

“You know what,” Merdith stated.  “These days, since all our kids are grown-up, I get to spend more time with my friends than my daughters.  Why don’t we make it a whole mother-daughter spa day and we all go.  Can you get off work?”

“I guess I’m available, but I thought you’d enjoy some grown-up time.”  Vi said.

“Well, at this point, you and Julie are grown-ups, so I don’t only get that with friends.”  Meredith assured Vi.  “How about you Kate, can you get off work Wednesday?”

“Huh?” I looked around at the group.

“Are you able to take off Wednesday, Kate?”  Meredith asked again.  “The four of us can make a whole day of it.  Dinner after the spa, and let’s see if we can find a show to go to.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your mother-daughter time.”  I said feeling a combination of really warm and touched that I was being included, a deep feeling of not being worthy of such attention, and dread of what happens during a spa day.

“Daughter-in-law is a type of daughter, so you belong at a mother-daughter thing.”  Meredith simply stated.  “So you can take Wednesday off?”

I looked at Vi, who just gave me an encouraging smile.   

“Do you mind Julie?”  I asked Vi’s sister.

“Of course not, it will be great.”  Julie said, sounding genuinely happy and excited.

“I don’t have any looming deadlines right around then,” I said, “so if you’re sure I guess I can take the day off.”

“This is going to be so fun!” Meredith proclaimed excitedly.

—————————————- Under the Stars ————————————————

“How do you feel about being included in the spa day?  Do you want me to make an excuse for you?”  Vi asked me in a soft hushed voice as she lay next to me on the trampoline under the stars, the waves lapped beneath us.  “I know you hate most of the things that go on during a spa day.”

Rob and Meredith were tucked away in the guest cabin, but Julie was sleeping in the saloon, where we had lowered the dinette table and converted it to a bed.  Vi and I had felt that talking in our cabin might keep her up, so we had decided the trampoline would be more private.

“I do, but it was so nice of your mom to want to include me, that it felt wrong to refuse the invitation.  I think I like the thought of being included more than I hate spa day stuff.  If you think she really meant it, I can put up with being poked and prodded.”  I said as I pulled the wool blanket more tightly around my shoulders and cuddled against Vi.  “Do you think she really meant it?  I don’t want her to feel like she has to include me.  And if you don’t want me there, that’s fine.”

“Of course she meant it.  We all really do want you there.  And I planned out the fun relaxing things for mom, nothing too intense.”  Vi assured me, tugging her side of the blanket trying to make it overlap my side.  “You can skip the parts of the spa day you really hate, or at least get a gentler version of them.  What do you really hate about a spa day?”

I sighed, that was a long list.  Plus it was hard to explain.  Some of it was pretty reasonable, and I knew Vi understood that kind of thing, like getting legs waxed is painful, but others I knew she struggled to understand.  I knew she would just tell me not to think about it if I tried to explain that no matter how nice a massage might feel, I could never really relax and enjoy it because I worried that the stranger rubbing me would be icked out because I was sweating or my skin was oily or too dry and flaky.  And god forbid I might fart.  The anxiety just ended up totally over shadowing it feeling good.  I decided to focus on the good parts.

“There are parts I do like.”  I told Vi.  “I like getting my hair washed and deep conditioned.  I like getting my nails painted as long as they don’t try to cut my cuticles.  And even though I don’t tend to enjoy the process, I like looking all polished at the end.”

“That’s good then.”  Vi smiled at me, then reached up and brushed her hand over my pulled back hair.  “And I guess I’ll get to actually run my fingers through your hair on Wednesday for a change.  I haven’t seen your hair down in a week.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”  I nuzzled against Vi.  “You know how unmanageable it can be with the humidity though.  It’s just much easier to keep it up.”

“Well, on Wednesday when you get it trimmed, maybe reconsider going a bit shorter, or at least getting it layered more to make it easier.”  Vi suggested giving my tight bun a pat.  “Then maybe I could actually run my fingers through it again, because lately it is either too tangled or you have it up in a tight bun.”

“I wasn’t planning to get a trim.”  I informed her.  “I’m not due for one for another couple of months.  Remember I just got it trimmed a little over a month ago when you got yours cut.”

“Trust me, I didn’t forget.”  Vi chuckled.  “I know you can get away with putting off trims for longer than I can because your hair is long, but that doesn’t mean one wouldn’t be good.  I’m definitely due for one.  I just figured we’d be there anyway, it makes sense to get rid of all the split ends and maybe take a little extra off to make it easier to manage.”

“For somebody who was as nervous as you were about getting your own hair cut short,” I grumbled, “you’re awfully blasé about my hair.”

“That’s different,” Vi gently rebuffed, her volume kicking up a bit.  “You’re prettier than I am, you don’t have to worry about whether or not you can pull off short hair, you’re so pretty your hair is just a mildly distracting add on.  I was worried I’d look like a boy with short hair, but you couldn’t possibly look like a boy no matter how hard you tried.”

“Don’t be silly Vi,”  I chuckled, possibly forgetting my own volume.  “You’re the pretty one.”

“You look so much more feminine than I do.”  Vi claimed.  “You have that soft jawline, I have a square one.”

“A soft jawline isn’t a good thing, yours is beautifully well defined.”  I told her.

“A well defined jawline is a good thing on a man, not a woman,” Vi argued.  “Soft is feminine.”

“You’ve got the perky little button nose.”  I pointed out.  “I’ve got this pointy beak”

“Mine is too small for the rest of my face.”  Vi complained.  “Yours has character.”

“Maybe I don’t want a nose with character.”  I complained back, it was something I’d been told a million times, something I was sure was just made up to make people with big ugly noses feel better.

“I’d rather have a pretty triangle where the nostrils are hard to see like yours,” Vi claimed, “than this tiny bland thing that you can look right up if you aren’t taller than me.”

“And you have those lovely piercing blue eyes.”

“I don’t hate my eyes,”  Vi conceded slightly,  “but your eyes are so deep and soulful, I could get lost in them.  And you definitely have the more girly figure.”

“I love your muscles.”  I said feeling down right defensive that the perfect woman I had married would be called anything less than spectacular, even if she was the one doing it.

“YOU’RE BOTH PRETTY!” Julie called through the window she had apparently opened.  “NOW GO TO BED SO THE REST OF US CAN SLEEP!”

“HEY! THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.” Vi yelled back as she got up and started walking aft towards the cockpit.

I simply stayed put, pulling the wool blanket around myself, trying to ignore the squabbling I knew was going to have Meredith up reluctantly refereeing soon.  I stared up at the stars, wondering if Vi really could possibly be so insecure that she didn’t realize she was so much prettier than I was, or if she had just been arguing to convince me I was pretty too.

When Meredith’s tired voice was added to the mix of Vi and Julie squabbling, I thought about the way my mother had always told me to just get over myself, and not to be so full of myself every time I looked in the mirror and tried to make myself look nicer.  I couldn’t imagine Meredith ever saying anything like that to Vi or Julie, or even me for that matter.

I sighed and looked up at the stars, as Vi’s voice turned whiny.  Then I felt the careful paw on my arm, I looked down, glowing green eyes looked back at me.

“You think you’re the pretty one,” I asked the red head, well red everything, of the family, “don’t you, Pumpkin?”

“Meow!” Pumpkin confirmed as he curled up on top of my chest.

———————————— Spa Day ———————————-

Meredith hired a car and driver for us, so that we could all just relax and enjoy mimosas.  The mimosas started early, with a light brunch at one of Meredith’s favorite restaurants.   By the time we were headed to the spa, Vi, Julie, and Meredith were all giggles.

Though spa day was not something I would have signed up for, it was much more fun doing it with a cheerful group.  I endured having my leg hair pulled out by the roots, leaving me wondering what fell into the category of too intense things Vi said she left out of the planning.  Fortunately since full eyebrows are in style, the threading was quick, just cleaning up a few stray hairs around the edges.  I tried to not think the masseuse was judging me as she kneaded my tight muscles.  I just told the manicurist to not cut or push my cuticles and sat there as my short fingernails were shaped very slightly and made purple and my toenails a metallic gold.  The facial left me feeling a bit over moisturized, but Vi, Meredith and Julie all said my skin was glowing.  

It was then time for hair.  I had opted for a deep conditioning mask that was for curly hair.  Julie had decided to get her already blonde hair lightened to a brighter shade of blonde with a few highlights. Vi was getting a trim.  Of course the big thing was Meredith’s makeover.  

I relaxed into the sink next to Vi, while Julie was off getting her highlights painted on, and Meredith was getting her usual color applied, which I got the impression was just warming up the white hair to blend in with her natural blonde.  It felt amazing as the lather was massaged against my scalp, which hadn’t gotten nearly as much attention from Violet’s fingers since we’d moved onto the boat.  I had a brief moment of wondering if Vi was right about my getting my hair cut a bit more so that it would be easier for her to run her fingers through it again, which we were both missing.  Of course, I’d always thought Vi was right about it being easier, I just didn’t want to anyway, since I didn’t think it would look good. 

The assistant washing my hair before the mask, was only on the first rinse when Vi’s wash was finished and she was off to her next step.  I just laid back with my eyes closed though as the thick conditioning treatment was worked into my mass of hair.  Eventually my hair was wrapped up for the mask to have a chance to seep in and I was led to sit with Julie and Meredith, while their color processed.  The three of us watched as Vi’s short crop was shaped up and chatted about our current projects.  

Julie was knitting a cotton baby blanket for a coworker’s baby shower, and complaining about how cotton has so little give.  Meredith was embroidering a set of kitchen towels for a nephew’s wedding, which was something she seemed to do for every wedding she was invited to, Vi and I had our wedding towels hanging in the galley.  It had taken me a bit to relax and not feel like they were too nice to actually use, but Vi reminded me how much I liked it when she wore the scarf I had crocheted for her, and said her mom felt the same about the towels.     

I told Julie and Meredith about the cat bed I was crocheting for pumpkin that we planned to put on top of the dinette table so maybe pumpkin would at least not be sleeping where we eat on the rare occasions the weather isn’t good enough for us to eat in the cockpit.

Vi and Jill listened politely even though I suspect most of the conversation meant little to them, as Meredith and I talked about the similarity between needle felting and embroidery.  Julie suggested that all three of us could take a spinning class together at the local yarn shop she was a regular at.  I said I would check my schedule, even though what I really needed to check was how Vi would feel about me going off and doing stuff with her family without her.

Eventually though, Julie was taken away to be rinsed.  Leaving me and Meredith just watching as the sprinkles of Vi’s pretty blonde hair fell to the floor, as we continued to chat.  Then I was taken away to be rinsed as well.  

When I got back from being rinsed, Lauren was giving Julie a blowout, mostly working at the roots of the extra bright straight blonde hair, I assumed to add volume.  Meredith was sitting relaxed and sipping another mimosa.  Jill was just blow drying Vi’s short hair.  

I sat next to Meredith, thinking we would just skip conversation since there were two hair dryers roaring away, but once I sat, Meredith leaned in and asked “Do you know what Vi and Jill came up with?”

I thought back to the conversation I had been scared was about me.   I hadn’t seen any of the pictures, but I remembered one of them saying something about bangs making Meredith nervous.  I also remembered Jill saying it would look good, and Vi being absolutely convinced Meredith would love it.  I contemplated what to actually say, thinking Meredith truly would enjoy the surprise.  She seemed to find the idea of surprises exciting.

“I don’t know many details.”  I finally said, not saying the one detail I did know.  “Jill said she thought it would look good though, and I think Jill has pretty good taste.”

“Jill does have good taste.”  Meredith agreed with a smile, and patted my shoulder.

I nodded agreement, though as I did, I observed as Jill once again shaved the little swirl that had grown back on Vi’s hair line off again, and questioned if the little swirl was really so problematic that it justified the extra high hairline.  Vi seemed happy to see it go though.  

After a few minutes both Jill and Lauren turned off the noisy hair dryers, Jill went back to snipping at Vi’s hair, and Lauren started working on Julie’s with a curling iron.  Jill finished up the final touches of my wife’s trim, announcing that it was time for her to finish Meredith’s color as she removed the cape from Violet.

“What do you think?”  Vi asked me as she took the seat next to me, vacated by her mother.

“It’s pretty much exactly the same as the last time you got it cut.”  I chuckled, then added as I stroked down the amazing feeling pelt on the back of her head,  “It looks great again.”

Julie got up from Lauren’s chair, and it was time for me to get my very well conditioned hair blow dried.

As Julie sat next to Vi, showing off the pale waves that hung in layers to the bottom of her rib cage declared, “Look how bouncy it is.  I can never get it to do this myself, it won’t hold a curl for me.”

As Lauren began using the big round brush to smooth out my curls, I found it amusing that Julie and I would have very similar amounts of wave at the end of this, even though hers had started straighter and mine had started out curlier.  By the time Lauren had tamed my hair into glossy ripples, Meredith and Jill were back from finishing her color.

—————————————- Mom’s makeover ———————————

As I joined Vi and Julie in the sitting area, where another mimosa waited for me, Meridith settled herself into Jill’s styling chair.  Vi absentmindedly started stroking my smooth loose hair, as Jill began wrapping a nervous looking Meridith in a cape.

“Now what do you say Meredith, do you want to just let me spin you around away from the mirror and give you the style Violet picked out for you?”  Jill asked her, as she began squeezing out some of the wetness from the blonde locks that reached about 3 inches below Meredith’s shoulders.

“I do enjoy surprises,” Meredith confirmed nervously.  “And Vi does know my taste.  I should go for it shouldn’t I?”

“It’s up to you.”  Jill said.  

“Go for it mom.”  Julie encouraged.   “If Vi told Jill to give you a crewcut, you can just disinherit her, and I can be your sole heir.  And your hair will grow back eventually.”

“Very funny.”  Vi complained, abandoning the attention her hands were giving my tresses.  “If Jill gives you a crewcut it’s because Julie put her up to it.”

“Please don’t squabble, this is supposed to be a fun relaxing day for me, with adults, remember.”   Meredith chastised.  

“They never fully grow up, do they?  Especially when they’re back with their siblings.”  Jill chucked.  “I’d have vetoed a crewcut.”

“Ok Jill, spin me around, let it be a surprise.”

Jill spun Meredith to face us, and simply began to comb out the long blonde hair that had been restored to the honey shade of her youth.  With her back to the mirror, Meredith faced Vi, Julie, and I, giving us a better view of what was happening than we’d have normally gotten, since we could see both the front and what was happening the back in the mirror.  Even though Meredith was obviously nervous, since she couldn’t see what was happening, she did seem to enjoy herself, and facing us had the added benefit that it made it easier for her to participate in the conversation.

The combing out didn’t seem to take long as we all cheerfully chatted about where we’d be going to dinner, and the show we’d be seeing after.  I leaned against Vi and watched Jill divide up Meredith’s hair into a  bunch of sections.  She left the usual one at the nape of Meredith’s neck down, and combed it smooth against her skin.

Finally ready to start cutting Jill inserted the pointy blades of her shears into the wet hair about halfway between Meredith’s shoulders and hairline.

SSShhhhlick

“Oh god that felt high.”  Meredith exclaimed a little panicky sounding.

“You’ve had it shorter.”  Jill informed her, and made another slice.

Ssssshhlick

“When?”  

“When Julie was just starting elementary school and practically every mom in the PTA was getting a stacked bob, and so did you.”  Jill reminded her and continued to cut.

Shhhhhllick

“That was ages ago.”  Meredith said

“Which is why you’re overdue for a change.”  Jill chuckled and took the last snip at the hair against Meredith’s neck.

Shhhhnip, shnap.

Jill combed the suddenly much shorter hair, knocking the 5 or 6 inches off Meredith’s shoulder to the floor, and began just nipping at the very end of the short locks.

“I was younger and smoother then.”  Meredith pointed out.  “I didn’t need long hair to camouflage the wrinkles and sag.”

Jill laid her scissors flat against Meredith’s neck and sheared off any little wispy hairs that stuck out from under the line she’d cut.

“It doesn’t camouflage it though,”  Jill insisted.  “It just drags things down. Trust me, this won’t make you look older.  It’ll just be a nice fresh new look.” 

Jill combed a new layer of long hair down, smoothing it against Meredith’s neck, and began slicing through it matching the length.

Shhhhhllick, ssssshhhhnick

“If I didn’t trust you,”  Meredith said, still sounding nervous, “I wouldn’t have let you just spin me around.”

Shhhhhllick, sssshnap

More of Meredith’s long blonde locks fell to the floor.  Jill kept snipping away in a mostly straight line, the classic bob length taking shape.  For a while, Meredith just relaxed as she simply accepted the new length and we all chatted casually.   

It wasn’t till Jill had let down the triangular section at the very front, combed it over Meredith’s face and inserted the scissors much higher than she’d cut off any of the other sections that Meredith started fussing at her again.  Though by the time Meredith realized that bangs were happening, it was too late.

Ssshhhnip

”Oh god are you giving me bangs?!”  Meredith asked as the evidence that Jill was indeed cutting bangs fell to Meredith’s lap in the form of a foot long lock of golden blonde hair.

“Remember, you’re trusting me.”  Jill reminded Meredith.

Sshhhlick

”You know how I feel about bangs.”  Meredith said just a bit miserably, not actually trying to stop the haircut, I figured mostly because she knew it was too late.

Shnip, shnip.  Jill continued to snip away the soft curtain that hung over Meredith’s eyes, not letting Meredith’s obvious discomfort sway her.

”They will look fantastic on you,”   Jill assured Meredith as she kept cutting.  “Wait till you see how much they bring out your eyes.”

”But I looked terrible with bangs.”  Meredith insisted.  “Did I show you the picture?”

“A dozen times.”  Jill rolled her eyes and continued to snip away.  ”This isn’t going to look anything like that.”

”What picture?”  Julie asked.

”Mom’s got this picture from when she was a little girl in the seventies with one of those terrible pageboy cuts, and it’s got these really high bangs that arch up weirdly in the middle almost to her hairline.  And of course her hair is too fine for it to have done that curled under thing ‘70s pageboy cuts were supposed to do, it just lay flat around her head, so it was extra bad on her.” Vi told Julie.  “She would drag it out and show it to me and Jill everytime I asked for bangs, to explain to Jill why she wouldn’t let me.  I didn’t get to have bangs till I was in highschool and mom figured I was old enough to come here by myself.”

”Wait!”  Julie said.  “Is that why I wasn’t allowed to get Zooey Deschanel bangs like I wanted to in sixth grade?  Just because mom got a bad haircut decades before I was born?”

”That time your mother did not need to drag the picture out.”  Jill chuckled as she started sliding the blades of the scissors down Meredith’s hair blending in some layers to the sides of Meredith’s brand new bangs.  “I told you it wasn’t possible because your hair is way too fine to achieve a look like that.  Now if Kate wanted thick bangs like that, it would look great.  It would highlight her eyes.”

I felt myself shrink down slightly as Julie gazed at my thick hair with a touch of envy.  I smiled apologetically at Julie.  Of course I didn’t want the thick bangs nature had denied to Julie.  I did think Julie’s bright blue eyes, so similar to Vi’s and Meredith’s, seemed much more worthy of being highlighted than mine.

“If I look as terrible as I did in that picture, and I have to wear a scarf to hide it for the next four months till it grows out,” Meredith complained, “I’m blaming both of you.”

”You won’t,”  Jill just reassured her again calmly as she kept working on the layers.  “When you see it, you’ll be kicking yourself that you let one bad haircut as a kid keep you from getting bangs before.”

Meredith finally was ready to just accept that since it was way too late to do anything about the bangs, we might as well talk about other things.  So we went back to talking about the spinning class at the yarn shop.  It also was agreed that Julie and Meredith were going to teach me to knit in exchange for me teaching them crochet.  There was a brief pause in the conversation for Jill to blowdry Meredith’s hair, and when she’d finished, Vi deliberately changed topics, since she wasn’t really into fiberarts herself, while Jill made a few final adjustments to Meredith’s new style, just a slight dusting or a few strands of the golden hair being delicately snipped would fall to the floor over the more substantial pile of long wet locks.

Finally Jill took the cape off and  spun Meredith around to look at the mirror.  Meredith turned her head, her chin length hair swinging freely as she did, the ends slightly curved in proving it was possible when cut properly even if her hair was quite fine.  The soft wispy bangs brought attention to her bright eyes, and helped hide the forehead lines she’d been thinking about getting botox for but was scared it would make her eyebrows lack expression.  The bangs looked far from flat as they brushed gently over her eyebrows and certainly didn’t arch up awkwardly in the middle.

”Oh my,”  Meredith exclaimed with delight.  “It’s so perky and bouncy!  I absolutely love it!  I didn’t know It could look like this!  I would have been terrified to ask for this, but it’s so perfect!”

“It really does look great on you mom,”  Julie admitted just a tad reluctantly,  “Even if Violet made you get bangs as revenge for not letting her have them as a kid.”

”I picked that style because I thought it would look nice and mom could stop thinking about botox.”  Vi whined.

”If you two start squabbling like children again,” Meredith threatened, “I swear I will find a couple of friends to go to the restaurant and theater with Kate and I, and you can go hang out with your father!” 

———————————— Fishing Trip ————————————

“I think we should try a different area.”  Megan, who was a childhood friend of Vi’s, suggested as another half hour ticked by without a single bite from the fish she was trying to catch.  “I think there are too many sealions around this area and they’ve caught everything for themselves already.”

”Yeah sure, it’s the sealions.”  Her girlfriend Brittany teased her playfully.  “It can’t possibly be your technique.”

”I don’t see you hauling in a mountain of fish.”  Megan pointed out.

”I never claimed to be great at fishing.”  Britt simply stated.

”Vi,” Megan decided to just ignore Britt’s teasing.  “I know this great spot just a bit west of here, my dad swears he’s never not caught something big there,  I can show you on the chart.”

”Ok,” Vi agreed just a tiny bit reluctantly.  “Just give me a minute to pull in my line.”

”It’s ok Vi, I’ll go get the chart, then take the helm.”  I volunteered, as I put my project down on the table in the cockpit, and got up from the settee I was sharing with Pumpkin.  “You can keep fishing.”

”Thanks Kate.” Vi smiled at me as I went inside to the nav station to grab the relevant chart.

After showing me where to head, Megan said.  “It’s nice of you to take the helm even though you don’t like fishing.  I guess you can get back to your crochet once you put on the autopilot.”

”Well I can’t, we don’t use the autopilot.”  I said not wanting to go into detail about Vi being scared of the autopilot. “It’s knitting though.”

”Vi said you crocheted.”  Megan frowned a little with confusion, then said over her shoulder.  “Vi, you told me Kate crocheted?”

”My mother and sister brought her over to the darkside,”  Vi joked.  “Now she knits too.”

“If either one counts as the darkside,” I responded lightly as I climbed up onto the helm bench, “it’s crochet.  Knitting uses way less yarn.”

“Well, you can get back to your knitting as soon as you set the autopilot.”  Megan commented as she took a can of beer out of the cooler.

”We don’t use the autopilot.”  I reminded her.

”Is it broken?  Do you want me to take a look at it?”  Megan offered.

”It’s fine we just don’t use it.”  I said still trying to avoid embarrassing Vi by explaining.  

“Do you need me to show you how it works?”  Megan asked.

”We don’t use it because I don’t like it,” Vi finally jumped in so I didn’t have to keep dodging the question.  “Kate’s been eager to try it out, but respecting my boundaries.”

“Boundaries?”  Megan almost snorted.  “Just because you don’t like to use something, why shouldn’t Kate?”

“I don’t just dislike using it.”  Vi admitted without embarrassment.  “It scares the bejeebers out of me.  I don’t want some electronic device steering this boat.”

”You know everytime my dad has taken us out fishing, he’s put the boat on autopilot.”  Megan informed Vi.  “It doesn’t steer, it just keeps the boat going straight while you have your hands free.”

“Well, I guess I’m never going fishing on your dad’s boat again.”  Vi proclaimed.

”You’re being silly.”  Megan scoffed.  “Let Kate use the autopilot so she can knit.”

“It’s my yacht,”  Vi argued.  “I get to be silly if I want to be.  Heck it’s my home, I definitely get to be silly if I want to be.”

”What are you knitting Kate?”  Britt loudly interrupted, obviously having had enough of the conversation about the autopilot.

”A wool and alpaca hat for Violet.”  I answered equally loudly, grateful to end the bickering over the autopilot, even if it would have been nice if Megan could convince Vi that the autopilot was perfectly safe, it wasn’t likely to happen and I was worried I was about to get dragged in.  “We have to go way up north next week for one of Vi’s jobs, and I don’t want her head getting cold since she went and got all her hair chopped off.”

“I remember when Megan and I went on that ski trip right after I did that charity thing and let them shave my head,”  Britt shared with a chuckle as she ran her hand through the just above her shoulders rather mullety shag that her hair had grown out to since the fundraising event, when it had been slightly longer, and all one length, before it had been buzzed off.  “I’d thought I’d be fine with just an earwarmer like I usually use, but I wasn’t.  It was really surprising how much difference a couple of inches of hair makes.   Fortunately the ski lodge sold hats.”

“I guess that’s a reason to keep mine long even though it tangles in the wind and is damp half the time.”  I stated, not really thinking about where it might take the conversation.

”Meh,” Britt said.  “Hair is warmer when it’s dry, but once it’s wet less hair is better.  Keeping your head warm is not a good reason to keep it long if it getting tangled is bugging you.  Especially since you live on a boat with the dampness.”

”Short hair is a million times better,”  Megan agreed with Britt, and ran her hand over the short brush of hair on top of her own head then down to the velvet sides to where it faded to stubble.  “One summer when I was between my junior and senior year in college, I worked at a summer camp and it was so far from the nearest barbershop, I just had to let this stuff grow out for the whole two months, and I started with it longer than usual too, because I’d just been so busy with finals and packing up my dorm room and stuff.  It was driving me so crazy by the time I got to a barbershop in September.  It took forever to dry, Stuck to my neck, and was in my eyes.  I hated it.  This, I rub a towel over it and it’s practically dry before I get to the bathroom door.”

“Drying faster was definitely one of my motivations for getting mine chopped.”  Vi joined in, and I realized I was completely outnumbered by the three short haired women, heck even Pumpkin had short hair.  “Half the time when I try to run my fingers through Kate’s hair these days it’s damp and clammy.  I’d much prefer to run my fingers through short dry hair than long damp hair.”

”Why don’t you get yours cut Kate?”  Megan suggested, making me wish that she was still arguing with Vi about how safe the autopilot was.

“I keep telling her how cute she’d be with short hair,” Vi explained, “but she’s convinced she’s not pretty enough to pull it off?”

”Kate, you’re definitely pretty enough for short hair.”  Britt offered her opinion.

”When did people have to be at a certain prettiness level for short hair?” Megan, who was very butch and never minded that when we went out to restaurants nine times out of ten the server handed her the check and called her sir, asked.

“Kate’s just convinced her hair is what makes her pretty.”  Vi answered indirectly.  “No matter how many times I tell her all the other ways she’s pretty.”

“Kate, you should just get it cut.”  Megan decided.  “Vi’s the one who you have to be pretty for, and she thinks you’re pretty.”

“I agree with Vi.”  Britt chimed back in.  “You will look really pretty still with short hair, and it’s so much easier.”

”Especially now that we’re living on a boat,”  Vi added.  “The damp and wind go terribly with long hair.  I liked it when we lived on land, but now it’s such a pain.”

I sat there as they all decided for me that I should get a haircut.  I considered just saying I was done manning the helm, taking my knitting and going inside, but I’d been enjoying just being part of the group till the autopilot and hair thing came up.  So I gathered my courage and defended myself.

”I like my hair long.”  I simply stated, trying not to sound hurt.

“You said the only reason you were keeping it long was to keep your head warm.”  Britt claimed.  “Which is a bad reason to keep it long.  Then complained about the tangles and dampness.”

”Warmth’s not the only reason.”  I said starting to sound defensive.

“Ok, also because you’re nervous that you aren’t pretty enough,”  Britt added in the reason I wish Vi had kept to herself.  “And that’s just silly.  You are very pretty.”  

“I have other reasons,”  I complained, wondering why I felt a need to justify what was simply a personal preference.

“She had a bad haircut once in middle school,”  Vi shared casually, it obviously not occurring to her that maybe I thought of it as private.  “And she was worried everyone would know she was gay.”

”Middle school was over a decade ago.”  Megan ever so helpfully pointed out.

“That’s not the main reason I’m not planning to get my hair cut short.”  I raised my voice a bit with exasperation.  “I just like it long.”

“Sure, if you like it long, keep it long, BUT do you really like it long?  It really sounded like the long hair was annoying you, which I totally understand.”  Britt claimed.  “It sounded like you would like having it shorter and easier.”

“She actually picked out a short hairstyle that would be perfect for her when we were at the salon,”  Vi offered evidence that I actually did want short hair.  “She said it was really elegant.”

“Well if you have already picked out a style, you should definitely go for it.  Short hair is so much more comfortable.”  Britt just accepted that Vi’s interpretation that I had picked out the hairstyle because I just generally liked it, and not for Violet.  “I’m not like Megan, a few inches doesn’t drive me crazy or anything and I enjoy having something to style, but I don’t think I would ever want hair below my shoulders again. I’m only planning to grow it back to just above my shoulders.”

“I don’t think I would ever want mine down to my shoulders again either.”  Vi stated emphatically.  “Well maybe if we ever stopped living on a yacht, but this is so much more convenient.  Yeah, I probably wouldn’t even want long hair again on dry land.”  

“Not only does me having hair anywhere near my shoulders sound like torture,”  Megan shared, “It would drive me crazy if Britt grew her hair really long.”  

“Sometimes I get the feeling Megan hates my hair with how frequently she suggests I get a haircut.”  Britt complained lightheartedly.

“It sounds better if you say I prefer you to have a bit less hair, than saying I hate it.”  Megan suggested.

”So you do hate it, but just don’t want to be on record saying it.”  Britt chuckled.

”Ehhh.” Megan shrugged, unable to deny it.

“I don’t hate Kate’s hair.”  Vi stated, to my relief, but then she continued.  “I just think Kate should try short hair too.  I think she will like it just as much as we do.  Sure her hair is a little bit annoying for me.  I hate that her hair is up in a bun half the time, and it’s damp half the time, and there’s all the hair in the plumbing and all her hair stuff taking up most of the storage space in the head.  But making a big deal of it isn’t worth making her unhappy, Even if I would like her to get a bit more trimmed.”

“I try not to drive Britt crazy about her hair either.  Though I do occasionally pester her a bit when it really starts getting too long.”  Megan admitted.  “Like right now, there’s more of it than I really like.  I kind of was hoping she’d like the buzzcut enough to keep it.”  

”Sorry, but I missed being able to style it.”  Britt chuckled at her girlfriend, then waggled her eyebrows and added.  “I suppose if you can think of the right bribe, I might be talked into going a bit shorter.  Not fully buzzed again, but shorter.  Maybe a pixie cut if you really come up with something good.”

”I think I could think of something.”  Megan smiled at the challenge, then suggested.  “Maybe you should come up with a bribe for your wife, Vi.”

“What do you think Kate, what could I offer you to get a haircut?”  Vi joked.  “Something special in bed?  A year’s supply of yarn?”

I just glared at my chuckling wife and her jovial childhood friend.

”I know,”  Megan suggested.  “If Kate gets a short haircut, you will let her use the autopilot so she can relax and knit while keeping an eye on the helm.”

”NO WAY!!”  Vi objected.  “I’d prefer Kate grow her hair down to her ankles and add a dozen more bottles of conditioner to the shower.  Honey, just keep the long hair, it looks ok even if it is a nuisance.”

“You need to get over the fear of the autopilot.”  Megan rolled her eyes at Vi.  “You know it saves fuel.”

”We’ve got sail and electric.”  Vi pointed out.  “We don’t use fuel.”

”So, it saves battery power…”

I sat there listening to Vi and Megan arguing about the autopilot, as I simply kept us on course.  I was glad the subject of the conversation was no longer my hair, but it had left me a bit sour anyway.  Up till this conversation, I had always gotten along fine with Megan and didn’t get why Julie complained about her bringing out the worst in Violet, now I totally got it.

————————-— North —————————-

Pumpkin was curled up next to Violet on the helm bench, while I was above them carefully stepping around the solar panels while adjusting some of the rigging on the mainsail.  We were heading north.

This was the first trip where sailing instead of using battery power really was almost necessary.  It was the first time that fully charged batteries could only just barely get us between the city Vi’s next job was in and our home marina.  If we hit any strong currents, we’d be running low on batteries pretty quickly.  Plus since all our other trips had been south, so we could count on a decent boost from the solar panels, this time we expected to only get a slight boost.  Fortunately, the wind was with us, so we weren’t challenging our newly learned sailing skills too much.

“All good,”  I yelled down to Vi as I leaned down over the edge and the breeze picked up.  Leaning down over the edge was a mistake, I felt the wooly crocheted fabric slip from my head. “MY HAT!”

I briefly considered yelling down to Vi to prepare to set anchor, so I could take one of the kayaks and go retrieve the warm garment that had taken me many hours and a $24 skein of yarn, but as I watched the item retreat in the distance, it bobbed down under the surface, and I knew it was hopeless.  My only consolation was at least it had been pure wool, and not an acrylic blend, so it wasn’t contributing to pollution.  I accepted that it was gone forever, and that I was now hatless in the cold as the item disappeared.

”What happened?”  Vi asked when I climbed down into the cockpit.

“My hat slipped off.”  I told her as I sat down at the table and pulled my hood up over my head.  

“Oh…” Vi strained to look over her shoulder behind us.  “Can we…..?”

”It’s gone,” I told her as the breeze blew my hood down.  “I’m just going to have to live without one till I knit or crochet a new one.”

“How did it fall off?”  Vi asked, then jiggled her head slightly, seeming to test the security of her own hat.

”Mine was looser than yours.”  I told her.  “I crocheted it large enough that I could get it over all this hair even if I have it in a bun.  Don’t worry, yours won’t fall off as easily.”

”Sorry about yours.”  Vi sympathized.  “Do you have any yarn with us you could start a new one with?”

”Mostly I have lace and sock yarn.”  I informed her.  “The only worsted weight and thicker yarn that’s more appropriate for a hat is cotton, and I’d much rather have a wool hat.  Cotton’s fine most of the time, but if it gets even a little bit wet, it loses all its ability to keep you warm.  And keeping a hat dry around here is not easy.  I guess I’ll go get started on it anyway though, ‘cause I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

“When we get to the marina we’ll be staying at while I’m working, you can see if they have a yarn shop where you can get something.”  Vi suggested. 

I nodded, acknowledging the possibility, but it didn’t change the immediate situation.  “Listen, I know it’s going to be my turn to take the helm soon, but do you mind if I just go into the saloon?  I’m really chilly.”

Vi pursed her lips slightly and sighed.  “Can you take the helm for about 15 minutes first?  That way I can use the head and stretch.”

“Sure,”  I agreed.  “I can handle that, and maybe later when I’ve warmed up, I can take it again for a little bit.”

”Thanks.” Vi said as she started getting up.

”Murp” Pumpkin complained about the disruption.

———————- Weather Report ————————

“I think we should just stay a couple of extra days.”  I said as I looked at the weather report.  

“It’s just drizzle, not anything dangerous.”  Vi pointed out.  “What if we try to sail around it?”

”We’d have to swing so wide that if sailing was going badly, we wouldn’t have enough battery to make it home.”  I pointed out.  “Even going straight through it, we are only going to have enough battery as long as we are careful.  Especially since we probably won’t be getting any boost from the sun.”

”So we go through it, a little drizzle won’t kill us.”  Vi insisted.

”I’m not really comfortable with this.”  I admitted hesitantly.  “I don’t want to get stuck out in the middle of the ocean.”

”It’s not like we’re hitting deep water, we’ll be sailing down the coast.”  Vi assured me.  “If we don’t leave in the morning, we might not make it home in time for my next job.   Especially since if we do have to go the whole way on battery, we will need to go pretty slow to get as much milage as possible from the battery.  Not showing up for my next job isn’t just about the money from that job, it’s my reputation, people won’t hire me if they don’t think they can depend on my showing up.”

 “I’m nervous about how narrow our margin of error is.  And you’re not that up against it time wise, we have an extra day.”

“We have a single extra day.”  Vi emphasized.  “The weather isn’t supposed to be any better the day after tomorrow.”

”I don’t know,”  I wavered. 

”Well,” Vi huffed.  “We could have gotten a diesel boat.  Would you feel less nervous if we had?”

”Diesel tanks aren’t bottomless.”  I defended our quiet and clean floating home.  “And as much as I don’t want to get stuck out there, in bad weather, if we do, we can wait it out till the wind is blowing again or the sun starts shining again.”

”So what’s the problem?”  Vi challenged.

”Fine,” I agreed, still feeling a little reluctant.  “Let’s make sure we’re well provisioned, just in case we are stuck for a few days.”

”Hey, on the bright side,” Vi’s tone lightened up a bit.  “If we’re stuck for a few days, it’ll give you time to work on a replacement hat with that yarn we got.”

”I wish I had it done.”  I said, as I looked over at the barely started item that had knitting needles sticking out of it.  I’d picked out a rather complex pattern with cables and so far I was less than a quarter of the way to a finished garment.  “The cotton hat I crocheted on the way up here, isn’t nearly as warm as that one will be when I finish.”

”Well, you have all that hair to keep you warm.” Vi teased me.  “Didn’t you claim that was why you wanted to keep it?”

I just sighed and gave her a scathing look, since I really didn’t want to have that conversation again.

”Come on,” Vi continued when I didn’t take the bait, “Let’s get to bed, we’re going to have a long day tomorrow.”

—————————— Getting Dark ———————

“Vi, it’s time to call it a night.”  I yelled at my stubborn wife. “And set anchor.”

“Can we please just try to get a little further on sail power.”  She begged me.  “I know we’re a little inexperienced to do a night sail, but it’s not that late.”

“NO!”  A yelled, then continued through chattering teeth.  “We are barely getting anywhere, and it’s getting dark.”

”We have an hour till sunset.”  She claimed.

”Where is the sun Vi?”  I asked her, trying to control my shivering.  “It doesn’t matter that it technically hasn’t fallen below the horizon yet, the cloud cover is thick.”

”It’s not that dark,” She claimed.

”It is that dark.”  I argued.  “Besides, I am freezing.  I am soaked through my clothing to the bone Violet.  My hands don’t work, I can barely feel my fingers.  This isn’t safe, and it’s not even getting us anywhere.  There’s barely any wind, and what little there is is not going in the right direction.  It’s not like another hour is going to get us significantly closer to home considering how much we have to tack.  And if we continue we won’t be near a good place to anchor when it gets dark.”

“Fine.”  Vi conceded reluctantly.  “Let’s get the sail down, and motor to the place we can anchor.”

Trying to set the anchor had gone badly, it had been dark and cold, and Vi and I were tired.  We couldn’t see well, and were communicating badly while impatient.  But of course, we needed to make sure the anchor was not going anywhere if we were going to be able to get any sleep, so we kept at it till we were reasonably confident we would wake up still anchored to the same spot in the morning.

By the time we’d set the anchor, it was full dark.  I stumbled into the saloon, and started peeling off the layers of wet clothing that stuck to my skin, making me even colder than I would be naked.  I started laying out my soaked blue jeans on the dinette table next to the cotton hat I had taken off hours earlier, when the drizzle had made it so wet I was colder with it on than off. 

I looked over at Vi as she took off her wool cap, gently shook it, sending the droplets of water to the floor, then put it back on, her short hair was still mostly dry, and the hat was obviously still keeping her warm.  I just kept stripping.

”I’ll get you a towel.” Vi offered as she headed down towards our cabin.

”Thank you,” I said as I tried to squeeze the worst of the wetness out of my soaked curls into my damp tee-shirt.

———————————- Don’t even think about it ————————————-

“It’s still foggy and dead calm.”  Vi informed me with gravity, as she returned to our cabin, from checking to see if anything had changed at all in the last hour.  “We are going to have to go the whole way on battery power, we gained a little from the rotor overnight, but we have just barely enough to get all the way home after running the windlass over and over and going back and forth because we couldn’t get the anchor to sit right.  We can’t try to wait it out any longer, because we need to be back at the slip so I can get to my job on time tomorrow.”

Not only had a thick fog developed overnight, the temperature had dropped considerably from the day before.  Of course all of my meager cold weather gear was still soaked.  I’d made zero progress on my new hat, my hands were too stiff with the cold to work in what little time I hadn’t been up on deck with Vi.

“Ok” I sighed.  “I’ll take the first turn at the helm after I shower.”

I dreaded the idea of going out there without a dry jacket, but I figured if I warmed up enough with the shower, I could handle the cold for a little while.  As much as I would rather not take a turn at all, I figured I would mind it less fresh out of a long hot shower than I would in a few more hours when the warmth from the flowing fresh water would have worn off, replaced by the chill from the dampness.

“You can’t shower!” Vi told me firmly.  “The watermaker, pump, and water heater take power, and we only have enough to get us back to the marina.”

“But I’m all cold and clammy and covered in salt from yesterday.”  I complained.  “I can’t function without a chance for a bit of warm water.”

“You take forever in the shower.”

“How about I just rinse off, and don’t wash my hair?”

“One minute, and set a timer.”  Vi grumbled.  “I’ll start getting dressed.”

The one minute under the barely warm spray was just barely better than nothing.  When I came out, Vi handed me a bottled tea.

“Thanks but I’m going to make myself a hot cocoa.”  I told her as I toweled myself off.

“You can’t use the microwave or stove.”  Vi said as she pulled on another layer.  “They take too much power.”

“But I’m freezing.”  I told her.

“I’m chilly too, but we need to make it back to the marina by night, there’s no wind to sail, and there isn’t enough sun to recharge the batteries.”  She reminded me.  “If the fog lifts, we can relax, but for now, we have to be careful.”

“Fine,” I conceded, even though I felt like an ice cube.  “I’ll just dry my hair and head to the helm.”

“Don’t even think about using the hairdryer.”  Vi warned me.  “It draws a ton of power.”

“I can’t go out there with wet hair.”  I told her.

“You shouldn’t have gotten it wet when you showered.” Vi complained.

“It was already wet from last night.  And it didn’t have a chance to dry with the fog and salt anyway.”  I defended myself.  “It just absorbs the moisture from the air when it’s this humid.”

“Fine.”  Vi huffed.  “I’ll take the first shift at the helm.  You can wait in here till all that hair is a little drier, and then come and give me a break.”

“Ok,” I agreed, then I asked since Vi was between me and the thermostat.  “Can you turn on the heat before you go?”

“Are you kidding me?!”  Vi gave me a death glare.  “What do you think makes the heat run?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”  I said.  “I’m too fucking cold to think clearly.”

“Just wrap up in a blanket and don’t use anything that takes power,”  Vi ordered, pulled on her wooly cap, and stomped up towards the helm.

——————————— I’d take it back if I could ——————————

**KATE! I NEED YOU!** Vi’s voice came through the walkie-talkie.

I shuddered, but responded that I was on my way before shrugging off the blanket I was huddled in with Pumpkin, and headed up towards the cockpit and helm.  When I got there, I barely stuck my head through the door when the chill of the open cockpit made it obvious going out there would be torture.

“What do you need?”  I asked Vi from the doorway I was only partway out of.

“I need you to take the helm.”  Vi said like it was obvious.  “You were supposed to come up as soon as your hair was dry.”

“It’s not dry yet.”  I stated, then reminded her.  “It’s too humid for it to dry.  If I’d started with my hair bone dry on a day like this, it would have become damp from the fog.  There is no way it is drying without the hairdryer and heat.”

“Well, you’re going to have to take a turn at the helm anyway.”  Vi stated.

“I can’t with wet hair, I will freeze.”  

“Just 15 minutes.” Vi begged.  “You aren’t the only one who is cold.”

“I can’t.”  I said as apologetically as I could.  “Do you want me to make you hot cocoa?  Can we spare the battery?”

“Kate, I need a break, not cocoa.”  Vi said, sounding a bit desperate.

“I can’t, not with my hair still wet,”  I stated.  “If I could just use the hair dryer for a few minutes, dry what’s right up against my scalp but not waste time on the ends, I could come out after.  It’s different for you, all your hair fits under a wooly cap.”

“All my hair fits under a cap because I got a sensible haircut.”  Vi pointed out.  “I take half the time, and water, and energy you do when I shower because I can just use a two-in-one, because I got a sensible haircut.  You could have gotten a sensible haircut, then you wouldn’t have a ton of wet hair that can’t fit under a wool hat tight enough to not get blown off.  Now get out here and take the fucking helm for just 15 minutes!”

“I’ll go get a dry blanket.”  I said, mildly resigned to the thought that I had to go out there.  “I’ll pull it up over my head.”

“Hurry,”  Vi demanded.

I did hurry, going down to the guest cabin, and getting the wool blanket folded up on the spare bed we folded laundry on when it wasn’t being used by guests, I shook out the blanket and pulled it around my shoulders, like a cape.  I pulled it up over my head, and clutched the fabric under my chin.  With the blanket flapping around, I headed out to the cockpit.

“You need to actually take the helm,” Vi complained with frustration as I stood next to the helm already shivering with my teeth chattering.  “You’re going to have to let go of some of the blanket.”

“I can’t keep it closed and over my head with one hand,” I sputtered out between chatters. 

“So let it fall back off your head, you’ll have an easier time seeing anyway.”  Vi ordered.

“But my hair is…”

“I don’t want to hear about your wet hair freezing you again unless it’s you telling me you’ll get it cut when we get back to shore.”  Vi interrupted me.

“Vi, you know…”

“Kate, you are a grown ass adult.  If you bring up being scared of being outed in junior highschool again, I’m going to set anchor, grab the kitchen shears, and cut all that god damned wet hair off myself right now!” Vi angrily threatened.

I just stood there in shock, not saying anything as I heard the pulse pounding in my ears.  I could not believe my normally loving wife had actually just threatened me with violence.

“I’m sorry Kate.”  Vi apologized.  “I’m so sorry, that was so far over the line.  I didn’t mean it, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

I turned and started walking away.

“Kate please don’t just walk away when I can’t follow,” Vi called to me.  “I’m sorry, please come back and talk to me.”

I was just closing the door into the saloon when I heard Vi say “FUCK!”

I sat down in the dinette, and started crying.  I felt something behind me, and thought it was probably Pumpkin, since Vi was stuck at the helm unless she decided to set anchor, which would take several minutes.  Then I felt the hand stroke down my back.

“I am so sorry Kate.”  Vi said gently.  “That was really horrible of me.  I would take it back if I could, I should never have said it.  I should never have brought up you getting a short haircut at all.”

I nodded and turned, and started crying against Vi’s slightly scratchy wool sweater.  “I’m sorry too.  I should have just taken a turn at the helm.  It would have been uncomfortable, but I don’t think it would have killed me.”

“I could have found another way to take a break instead of asking you to risk hypothermia.  I should have just set anchor.”  Vi just kept holding me tightly.  “You are more important than my getting back in time for a job.”

“I should have taken the wheel for at least a few minutes though.”

Then as I said it and felt Vi’s hand stroking down the blanket I was wrapped in.  I realized nobody was at the helm.  Vi hadn’t had time to set anchor, beside it didn’t feel like we had stopped, it didn’t feel like we were just drifting either, it felt like we were still on course.  I lifted my head up and looked out the window at the gray ocean going by.  Vi’s eyes were glued to the window facing the bow.

“Who’s piloting the boat?”  I asked, feeling mildly panicky.

“I put on the autopilot.” Vi said, showing me the remote she’d brought into the saloon with her.  “Can you please take the remote and just keep an eye on it from here so I can use the head before I pee my pants?”

“Yeah of course,” I said, taking the device from her.  “I thought you were afraid of the autopilot.”

“I am,” Vi admitted, pausing on the steps down to the head, “but not as afraid as I am of losing you.  I couldn’t just let you walk away upset like that.  You are the love of my life Kate, and I am so sorry I threatened you with something so mean.   I’m also really sorry I tried to make you sit out there with wet hair instead of just letting you keep watch from in here while the boat is on autopilot.  I’ve been letting an irrational fear make your life harder for months.”

———————————— Make me an appointment too ——————————

“Get you furry ass back here and drop that yarn!”  I yelled at Pumpkin as he scampered across the saloon with his ill gotten prize.  

Shhhh Vi let out, holding a finger up to her lips as she held her phone to her ear.

“Hi,” Vi said clearly into the phone.  “I’d like to make an appointment with Jill for a haircut.”

“Psst,” I tried to get Vi’s attention as I held Pumpkin by the scruff of his neck and played tug of war over the ball of yarn, then whispered.  “Make me an appointment too.  I’m due for a trim.”

Vi nodded, to let me know she’d heard my soft request as I let go of the disappointed cat and started examining the ball of yarn to see how much damage he’d done.  As much as I didn’t like getting trims, I need one.  It had been a bit more than the usual few months I went between trims, and the layers were losing their shape, and I had more than just a few split ends.

”Yeah, I can do Thursday.”  Vi responded to the person on the other end of the phone I couldn’t hear.  “Is there enough time to get my wife in for a trim too on Thursday?…… No, we can’t do Friday, I’m working…..  Tuesday works for me, Kate?”

I nodded that it was ok.

”Yeah, we can both do Tuesday.”  Vi affirmed.  “eleven thirty and twelve fifteen is fine.  Thank you.”

Listening to Vi confirming back to back appointments, my mind went back to the last time I had gotten my hair trimmed right after her, and how she’d kept suggesting I get more layers and how she’d made me anxious, and suddenly thought that might not be what I wanted again.  

I thought of the way I had had a recurring dream of Vi holding me down on the galley  floor, almost exactly like I had just held Pumpkin down to wrestle the yarn from him.  My belly pressed into the floor, my arms pinned to my sides by Vi’s knees.  And she’d been cutting off my hair with the kitchen shears just like she’d said she would.  The heavy slightly serrated blades  crunching through the thick wavy locks, and she just kept tossing the long severed hair into a pile right in front of my face.  The pile just kept growing as the cutting went on impossibly long as she found lock after lock to chop through.  As I felt the cold metal blades on my neck she was berating me about how I needed to grow up and stop using my wet hair as an excuse to not take my fair share of work.

I’d woken up each time in a cold sweat with my heart pounding.  In the darkness, I would reach up to feel my long thick braids and make sure it had really just been a dream again.  Then I had laid there awake staring at the hatch trying to decide if I wanted to snuggle closer to Violet’s warm body next to me for the comfort I usually got from Vi, or if I wanted to move away because I was feeling anger about something that hadn’t actually happened.

In the moment, I wasn’t sure I wanted to sit in Jill’s styling chair while Violet was there trying to convince us that shorter would be better.

“Wait!”

“Hmmm?” Vi asked, as she lowered the phone, it obvious the person on the other end had hung up before I had spoken up.  “Are you not free on Tuesday?”

”I’m free,”  I informed my wife.  “We can go separately though, that way you can go on Thursday, I can just go on Friday.  I know your hair is bugging you, so if you don’t want to have to wait…”

”A few days is not a big deal,” Vi assured me.  “And I know you hate going alone.”

”I’d be ok going alone.” I tried to just sound neutral as I told Vi.

She looked at me a little perplexed for a moment before she asked, “Is it because I threatened to cut off your hair a few weeks ago?”

”I know you didn’t mean it.”  I told her softly, as I played with the end of my yarn.

”But I don’t make you feel safe the way I used to, do I?” 

“I wouldn’t have said that… I know you would never actually hurt me.” I tried to blunt the complaint.  “It wasn’t just that threat though, you’ve kind of been on me about my hair since you decided to get your haircut.  You kind of kept bringing it up the last time I got a trim.  Other times too, like when we took Megan and Britt fishing.”

“I’m so sorry I said anything.”  Vi responded sadly.  “I’m sorry I brought it up at all.  I should have just let it go when you made it clear you didn’t want to get yours cut.”

I sighed, not sure what to say next.  I kind of still wanted to get Vi to call the salon back and change our appointments, but I knew it would make Vi feel like I didn’t trust her, like I hadn’t accepted her apology.  Vi was right that I didn’t like to go by myself, and wanting to this time was a sign.  I had my long hair in a pair of braids. I grabbed one and pulled it over my shoulder. and looked at the end.  She hadn’t been pressuring me at all since the day she’d made the threat.

”Just promise you won’t pressure me or say anything.”  I requested.

“Of course babe.”  Vi agreed to the promise.  “I won’t say a single thing about your hair.  I will leave discussing your trim completely between you and Jill.  I won’t interfere at all.  So you’re ok with Tuesday?”

”Yeah,” I accepted her promise, knowing she meant it.

”It’ll be good.”  Vi said hopefully, pulling me into a hug.  “We can get a nice lunch after.  Ok?”

——————————— Magazines ———————————-

Vi and I had a quiet morning of sleeping in just slightly on Tuesday, since Vi didn’t have to leave for a job.  She usually needed to head out in the wee hours when she was working.  When we did get up, she got a couple of chores done, while I did a little work, of course Pumpkin just took his usual cat nap in the sun.  The three of us just had a relaxed morning till it was time for Vi and I to leave for the salon.

We had decided we would go to the new brewery for lunch.  It wasn’t fancy, so I didn’t need to dress up really, but I did want to look nice, so I put on a casual but cute sundress, thinking how with my long hair all smooth and bouncy from a fresh blow out draped around my bare shoulder, it would look very romantic while enjoying some al fresco dining.  

Vi didn’t say anything about my hair as we drove to the salon, instead talking about whether we should get some beanbag chairs for up front by the trampolines.  It was kind of a trend for yachts, we felt a little unsure if we wanted to deal with making sure they were secured whenever we sailed anywhere though.  

While waiting, Vi just sat close to me, as I finished my small travel project, a set of crocheted coasters for a friend of ours, Lexie, and her new girlfriend who were moving in together, as an apartment warming gift.  I was a little worried the occasion might not really be crochet worthy, since they’d kind of Uhauled, but then decided that if it didn’t last, Lexie could still use the coasters anyway.  It wasn’t like a few coasters took that much time or yarn, not like a sweater or a shawl, or even like a hat or mittens.  Coasters were quick and easy, so quick and easy, I suddenly had nothing to do.

As I put the finished project away, I looked around for something to occupy my hands as we waited, I should have brought something that wasn’t nearly done.  As I was trying to choose a magazine to read, Jill came over.

”Hi ladies?”  She cheerfully greeted us.  “Is Violet first like usual?”

”Sure I guess,” Vi said with a shrug as she got up.  

“Ok,”  Jill cheerfully agreed, then added.  “The sitting area in the back is empty if you want to keep us company Kate.”

”Thanks,” I said and got up, just grabbing the nearest magazine without really checking which one it was, and followed Jill and Vi.

As Jill was dropping me off at the sitting area, Lauren came over to Jill.  “It’s almost my lunch hour.  Did you want me to wash either of your client’s before I go?”

“Thank you.”  Jill responded.  “If you could just take care of Kate here, while I do Violet, that would be perfect.  Kate gets the curly treatment.” 

“Ok, come this way Kate,” Lauren invited me towards the sinks.

I simply put the magazine I hadn’t actually looked at yet, down next to my project bag, then followed Lauren looking forward to my hair being smooth and bouncy for a few hours before we would head back to the dock and the humidity would return it to frizz.

—————————————— The forgotten bribe ————————-

When I sat down with my very well conditioned hair wrapped up in a towel, Jill had already started snipping a half inch from the ends of my wife’s damp blonde hair.  There was already quite a sprinkling of the little snippets scattered around the floor and peppered on the cape covering Vi.  It looked like Vi’s trim was almost done.  It obviously had taken Jill a lot less time to wash Vi’s hair than it had taken Lauren to wash and condition mine, not that that was a surprise.  

I picked up the magazine, and realized it was just one of those ones with nothing but hairstyle examples.  After flipping through a couple of pages, I realized it wasn’t even a new one, it was the exact same one Vi had been looking through the day she had first gotten the first short haircut months ago.  I vaguely began to thumb through the magazine that was mostly pictures I had little interest in to keep my hands busy while I listened to Vi and Jill talk.

“Yeah, I’ve never gotten to sail up that way,”  Jill said to Vi in response to something I missed, but it sounded like they were probably talking about Vi’s last business trip.  “But John and I drove up along the coast a few years ago, and it was very damp and foggy for a lot of the drive.  And when we got where we were going, I definitely felt I had not packed the right clothing.  It was much chillier than around here.”

“Well the bad weather finally got me to bite the bullet and let Kate use the autopilot.”  Vi told Jill leaving out the fight we’d had about it.  “It was rather terrifying, but it went fine.  Kate’s used it a few times since.”

”So how does the autopilot work?”

”It’s a bit like cruise control plus lane assist in a car I guess.”  Vi shrugged, causing the small pile of hair clipping to slide down the cape.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable using it myself, but I have stopped insisting Kate can’t use it.”

”That’s good.”  Jill said a little idly as she ruffled the hair on the top of Vi’s head, then brought me into the conversation.  “I’m sure that makes you happier Kate.”

”Very much,”  I agreed with a smile as I turned the page of the magazine a little lazily, not really looking down at it.  “It’s so much more efficient to be able to have my hands free, while I just need to keep an eye out.  So often we’re just motoring in a straight line in the open ocean with nothing around clear to the horizon.  It’s nice to be able to crochet or do the dishes.  Trying to work is a bit too involved, I can’t really get any work done when I have to look up every few seconds, but I can do anything that doesn’t take my eyes off the direction we’re going in too much.  And it’s very very good to be able to be inside the saloon when the weather is really miserable out in the cockpit.”

“My brother-in-law’s boat is the opposite.”  Jill explained as she took a few little snips at the hair that rested on Vi’s forehead.  “The helm is inside, and him and his wife fight over who gets to come outside and hang out or fish with John and I when they invite us out.  It’s an older downeaster, smaller than yours, just the single v-berth, and I don’t think it has an autopilot.  Of course, since they don’t live on their boat, they only ever go out on it when the weather is nice.  Last time we went for a little day cruise with them, brother-in-law agreed to do all the dishes for 2 weeks as a bribe to get to relax out on deck while we sailed out.”

“My friend Megan tried to talk me into bribing Kate into doing something in exchange for agreeing to let her use the autopilot, since Megan thought it was so silly I was scared of it.”  Vi told Jill who was pulling out the hair drier.  “Finally though, I gave in just because I could see I was making Kate miserable.”

“It’s good that you got past the fear.”  Then Jill turned on the drier, the roar of it ending  the conversation.

I took a deep breath, remembering how Vi had tried to bribe me into getting a haircut, but flatley turned down the bargain Megan suggested of letting me use the autopilot in exchange for me getting the haircut Vi wanted.  Then she just let me use the autopilot after our big fight.  She’d entertained the idea of  offering up almost anything but permission to use the autopilot to bribe me into the haircut because she wanted me to cut my hair so much, but was completely terrified of the autopilot.  Even though the autopilot terrified her way more than my damp tangled hair annoyed her, she had let me use it when it had gotten to the point that I was miserable.

I looked down at the magazine, there was that haircut.  The haircut I had suggested for Violet when she was first getting her shoulder length hair chopped off, because I just thought it looked nice and the model had bright blue eyes, just like Vi.  Both Vi and Jill had insisted the model looked like me, and that it would look good on me.  They’d assumed I picked it because I liked it, which I guess I kind of did.  I had to agree that the dark curls on the top of the model’s head were more like my hair, than Vi’s.

I looked up at the mirror, then back down at the magazine.  Even though I knew I was missing something that made the model prettier than me, she really did have the same face shape and stuff.  It did kind of make sense that I might be able to pull off the haircut, maybe not quite as well as the model, but it wasn’t like I was as pretty as the model with long hair anyway.  I was scared though. 

Of course, what did it really matter if I actually couldn’t pull off the look.  I was fairly  sure Vi would be happy enough about saving space in the shower, and getting to run her fingers through my hair without feeling damp snarls that she wouldn’t care if I looked terrible.  And most days, Vi and Pumpkin were the only ones who saw me.  I could just live with being ugly, it wasn’t the end of the world. 

I looked at Vi, with her eyes closed as the warm air blew through her short hair.  She’d taken that leap and gotten over her fear of the autopilot.  The autopilot she was so terrified of that when Megan suggested offering it up as one of the bribes to get a haircut, Vi had given up trying to bribe me into it.

I looked back down at the picture in my lap.  Jill turned off the hairdryer, and picked up her thinning shears.  It was quiet enough that conversation was possible.  

Sh-chomp, sh-chomp, sh-chomp…

I swallowed, and gathered my courage, “Jill.”

”Hmmm?”  Jill split her attention between me and combing up the back of my wife’s head and snapping the shears against the comb.

“Do you remember that picture that I showed you guys when Vi was picking out her new hairstyle?  I thought it was really cute but you said it wasn’t right for Vi.”  I ventured.  “You said her hair was too straight.”

“Sort of vaguely,”  Jill wrinkled her brow.  “Show it to me again.”

“It’s kind of late for us to think about anything different with my hair,” Vi interjected, just a bit muffled because her chin was tucked down.  “Jill’s  just on the finishing touches.  If you have a suggestion, maybe you can show it to me before my next haircut.”

”No, Vi your hair’s perfect.”  I assured the vulnerable looking love of my life, then cautiously added.  “I was thinking about how Jill had said that it would work better with my hair.”

I held up the picture, as Jill paused snipping and instead ruffled Vi’s hair.  She looked at it for a few moments, and nodded.

”Yeah,”  Jill said to me.  “That style would look great on you.  I don’t even really have suggestions about things to change to fit you better, since you have the same face shape, hairline, and hair texture.  It’s pretty much perfect for you.”

“And you said if I got this haircut I have enough to donate?”

”Yup,”  Jill pushed Violet’s head to a particular angle, and started snipping just a little with the thinning shears.  “So you’re ready to get that haircut?”

”Honey,”  Vi spoke up.  “You don’t have to do that.”

”Last time you said I should go for it,”  I reminded her.  “Do you still think it would look good?”

”Well sure,” Vi admitted cautiously.  “I think it will look great, and all.  I’d really love it. It would be so much easier.  You should think it over though, and not make the decision impulsively.”

“She’s had months to think about it.”  Jill pointed out sounding a little confused by Vi’s statement, then picked up the little trimmer and started shaving the little swirl, and all the hair below it from Vi’s hairline.  

“Yeah, but…” Vi said, trying to be heard over the incessant whine of the trimmer.

”Vi, you promised that you would leave it between Jill and I.”  I reminded her of the promise I had extracted several days earlier.

”I promised not to pressure you to get it cut.”  Vi claimed.  “This…”

”You promised not to say anything.”  I clarified.

”I know,”  Vi admitted, “but…”

”Violet, stop discouraging Kate,”  Jill took on a motherly tone as she carefully removed the cape, revealing Vi’s khaki shorts and madras plaid blouse.  “You wanted her to get a haircut because long hair is a pain in the ass on a yacht.  Last time you were in for a trim, you kept saying how easy and comfortable the short hair was and you wished you could convince Kate to try it too.  Why are you fussing now?”

”I do think a haircut is a good idea still, less tangles, less time in the shower, and she won’t have her hair in a bun or braid all the time so I can’t ever run my fingers through it.  I’m just worried I pressured her into it.”  Vi admitted with a little embarrassment.  “I got kind of mean about it when she kept complaining about it not drying..”

”Well, you’ve told her she doesn’t have to, so if she still wants to it’s her decision.  Obviously the not drying she was complaining about has made her decide it’s time to go short.”  Jill said in a tone that made it clear she felt the conversation was ended.  “Ok, Kate.  It’s your turn.”

—————————————— 

I nervously got up, and headed over to sit in the styling chair that was surrounded by snippets of my wife’s pale hair, as she went  to sit where I had been.  I felt my body stiffen up as Jill shook out the cape, then swung it over me, then fastened it tightly behind me.  I stared at the mirror with apprehension, as Jill pulled off the towel, and squeezed more of the dampness from the long locks I had given my consent to cut off.

”I know you’re nervous,”  Jill said as she began to knead at my tight shoulder muscles just a bit, “but just trust me, you will love this.  ”

“Ok”  I said to Jill, still nervous, giving her a weak smile and another halfhearted nod.  More than trusting Jill, I felt I owed it to Vi for letting me use the autopilot.

Jill picked up a wide toothed comb, and began to untangle my loose curls,  I watched as the long damp hair was smoothed out around me.  I bit my tongue about asking what Jill was doing when She picked up the hairdryer and a big round brush.

Jill must have noticed my confusion because she quickly informed me “the ponytails for donation should be dry,” before she’d turned on the roaring hairdryer.

I sat there, as Jill began drying and straightening my long curls, just trying to trust the process.  It wasn’t like it was a process I had really thought about, I had just impulsively decided to do something that would make my wife happy, since she’d done something that terrified her just to make me happy.  I watched as the last of the damp locks from the top of my head, were smoothed down to a silky sheen.

I sat looking at the hair draped over my caped shoulders for the last time as Jill opened a drawer and took out a bag full of elastics.  Then she began dividing the hair up into little loose ponytails.  There were at least half a dozen of them when Jill started really concentrating on pulling the little elastics down to the levels that she wanted on the top and towards the front, but in the back along my nape, she moved them up, only leaving the barest space between the elastic and my scalp.  She tilted my head back and forth a last time, checking the placement of the little elastic, and stepped over to the counter where her shears were lined up.

I inhaled and swallowed down my instinct to say stop as I watched the shears open.  Jill lifted the first ponytail from the side of my head, right in front of my ear.  She positioned the blades just above the elastic and began to cut.

Sssshhhhhh-crunch

The sharp ends of the dark hair fell forward, brushing my cheeks and covering my eyes.  My heart pounded.

”There,” Jill said a little triumphantly as she held the dark silky ponytail aloft, “that’s going to make someone very happy.”

I thought about how if she would just put it back, it could make me very happy, but again, I held my tongue and said nothing.  I’d asked her about donating it, it was reasonable for her to think I would want to hear about it.  I just nodded, hoping it was true and really would make a sick little girl feel a little better, as Jill handed me the long bundle of strands to hold.

Jill swiftly raised the sharp shears to the next little ponytail, slicing through it right behind my ear.  

Sssshrunch

The slightly prickly ends of the freshly cut lock brushed my ear.  This time, Jill just casually handed it to me, not bothering to assure me it would have a worthy purpose.

I looked in the mirror, watching the rough cut progressing as Jill snipped off another of the little ponytails, to add to my collection.  So far, it didn’t look much like the picture in the magazine, the short hair hung around my head, hiding my eyes and ears, instead of sweeping across the top in waves.  I guess that was why Jill had insisted Vi’s hair was too straight to pull off the look.

After Jill had collected all the little ponytails from the top of my head, she tilted my head down, so I was staring at my hands that clasped them.  I felt her pull up on one of the ones from my nape and hold it much tighter than she’d held the ones on the top.  When she placed the metal blades between the elastic and my head, the cold steel brushed my skin.

Sssshhhnup

As the blades closed the pressure on my skin first increased then released.  Then Jill was handing it down to me, before lifting the next one.

Shnup, schnup, shnip.

“There you go,” Jill enthused as she handed me what felt like the last little ponytail, and began ruffling her fingers through my hair.  “I bet that feels much lighter, and it’s going to be so much easier.”

I just nervously nodded.  The light feeling didn’t actually seem that great.  More like I’d had a comforting weighted blanket taken away, then a heavy burden relieved. I looked down at the hair in my lap, gathered into the little bundles, and missed the feeling of them pulling against my scalp.

”Hold on,”  Jill told me.  “I’ll go get you a bag for those.”

I wanted to feel the short hair while Jill was gone, but I was clutching tightly to the bundle of hair in my lap.  Instead I looked over at Vi, who was sitting behind me.

”Don’t worry.”  Vi assured me.  “It will look good when it’s done.”

I inhaled at the wording that implied even Vi who had pushed for this didn’t think it looked good right now.  I looked back at the mirror and the short shaggy hair that hung limply around my head.  The frizz I had in middle school had been better than this, the straightness just emphasized the uneven choppiness.

It was just a few minutes before Jill was back and holding open a ziplock bag for me to drop my bundles of ponytails into.

”When you are leaving,” Jill instructed me as she started dividing my hair into just two simple sections, top of my head and everything below that, “talk to Becky at the front desk about where to donate those.

”You probably don’t want to give it to the big famous one,”  Jill continued as she opened a drawer and began pulling something out.  “She’ll let you know which one’s really don’t charge the kids and use the hair instead of selling most of it.”

I again just nodded, as I watched her plug in what she’d pulled out of the drawer.  It was a big set of electric hair clippers.  Not just the little trimmer she’d been using on Vi, but much more serious looking ones,  They were much more like the ones that had been used to shave Brittany’s head during the charity fundraising event.

I knew on an intellectual level, that they could be used to just cut hair, and didn’t have to shave one bald, but the knowledge that they were capable of shaving me bald like Britt had been for weeks after the event was nerve wracking enough.   I tensed as I relived the event in my mind.

Britt sitting on a folding chair in the middle of a stage.  The room was noisy with all the activity.  Brit only looked just the tiniest bit apprehensive as the humming clippers were placed on her forehead in front of her shoulder length hair.  Then the volunteer hairdresser slowly pulled back.  Brit’s hair just slid from her head, as a strip of scalp was revealed, on it was a barely visible shadow of stubble.  

Surprisingly, Britt had not looked terrible bald.   And she’d been perfectly cheerful about it while Meg teased her about how everyone would think she was the butch now.  She had simply taken being shaved bald in stride.  I suppose that was why she’d volunteered, because she didn’t care that much about her hair, or maybe Megan had talked her into it in private.  Maybe she’d just been pretending to be ok being bald for the sake of the cheerful atmosphere of the event.

As I watched Jill fix an attachment onto the end of the clippers she held, I tried to convince myself that if Brit could handle being bald, I could handle having short hair.  I figured that the clippers were probably faster and easier than the way she’d methodically combed Vi’s hair into her fingers.  Britt’s headshave certainly had been a lot quicker than Vi’s haircut.

Jill stood behind me, and flipped the switch on the clippers.  She tilted my head down, and pushed the humming machine against my neck.  Then they rose up along the back of my head, feeling almost like a vibrating comb except I knew they were cutting the hair, not just passing through it.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt

I felt Jill lift the clippers from my head, and then the cool air conditioning hit my scalp.  I didn’t get to think about it for very long though, almost immediately, the clippers were mowing a second path through my hair next to the first.

Bzzzzt, bzzzt, bzzzzzt

Jill stroked the clippers up to the place where she’d parted the top hair from the bottom hair over and over.  I kept telling myself, that it was just my imagination, that it felt shorter than the picture I had shown Jill.

Bzzzzzt, bzzzzt, bzzzzzt

It was when Jill had worked her way forward to buzzing off the hair around my ear, that the tufts of brown began to fall into my lap.  I didn’t have to stare at them too long though, because Jill guided my head up so I was staring at the mirror instead of she ran the clippers up through my sideburn and over my temple.

In the mirror I could see that along the side of my head was a short uniform carpet of brown hair.  To my relief, it looked about the length of the model’s hair at the top of the shorter section, fully covering my scalp,  but something about the way the cropped hair hugged my scalp made it feel shorter.

I watched Jill remove the attachment from the end of the clippers, and prepare to start cutting more.  I almost objected, but swallowed it down, reminding myself I was trusting the process.  Jill inserted the comb into the short carpet of hair right at my neck line, and ran the blades of the clippers over the comb, and not directly against my scalp.

Bzzzwoot.  bzzzwoot.

Bits of the dry hair rained down onto my bare neck.  I felt little prickles from the tiny snippets that caught in the tight neck band of the cape fastened at my neck.  I wondered if I would have to endure the feeling the whole afternoon, a constant reminder that I had agreed to this.  

I kept catching little glimpses of myself in the mirror as Jill tilted my head this way and that, while she reduced the already short pelt of hair, giving it a gradual taper.  It looked and felt so harsh.  It was sort of reminding me of Meg’s haircut, which was fine on Meg, but I didn’t feel like I was going to handle it well if people started calling me “sir.”

I let out a sigh when Jill turned off the clippers and put them down.  She picked up the pointy scissors she’d used for most of my wife’s haircut, and she usually used for my trims.  It was mildly less nerve racking when she began combing up through the short pelt and snapped the scissors against the teeth of the comb.  

Snip, snip snip, click

For a while most of the cutting was happening behind my head, so I either just started at the mirror and tried to figure out if I was going to be constantly called sir, or I was staring down at my cape covered lap.  Jill was mostly chatting with Violet about the places Jill’s brother in law liked to take his boat to, and Vi speculated about whether or not they were somewhere we would enjoy, and of course pointing out that I didn’t like to fish, though I was good about just hanging out and keeping her and her friends company when they fished.  They both would occasionally try to draw me into the conversation, but I was too nervous to contribute more than monosyllabic responses.

Eventually, Jill started working on my side burn.  I watched as she gently snipped at it.  I finally began to trust that Jill was putting in a similar amount of effort in my haircut as she had in Vi’s.  Between the blow drying seeming to have been mostly to make sure the ponytails were good for donating, and her only dividing my hair in two sections, and then swiftly buzzing most of it off, I had begun to doubt that she actually cared.  But something about the way she used just the points to very carefully shape my sideburns finally felt better.

Then Jill combed the short pelt forward on to my face, and used just the points of the scissors to shape the hair line.  Once that was done Jill picked up her little trimmer, and began to shave my neck, in a very similar way to the way she did Vi’s.

When Jill had finished with the trimmer, she took out the clips that had held the hair above the part tightly against my crown, letting down the straightened locks which flopped down covering my ears and into my eyes.

Jill combed it backwards, and up into her fingers.  Almost absentmindedly, she started snipping away at the dry straight hair.

Shnip, shnip, schnip.

The dry splinters of hair rained down on me.  I didn’t understand how she could tell how my hair was going to lay when it wasn’t straightened.  Or did she expect me to always straighten it.  Why hadn’t she just taken the couple of minutes to spray a little water on my hair?

Shnip, shnip, sssnap.

 I went back to feeling like maybe Jill was just rushing through my haircut, knowing that I wasn’t going to be happy, and figuring Vi wouldn’t really care about how it lay so long as it was short and practical.  She’d often worded discussions about my haircuts by saying “make it pretty for Violet.”  Maybe now that she knew Vi cared more about it being easy than pretty she’d stopped worrying about how I looked.

Shnip, shnip, schnip.

I watch the hair on the top of my head just gradually getting shorter and shorter.  Admittedly, it was also getting less choppy looking.  I knew though, that once it got wet, the straight hair would turn to frizz.  

Shnip….. snap…..shnip.

“Ok,” Jill said, looking at my reflection intently as she ruffled my hair back and forth, only taking a very occasional snip.  “Before I wet this so that we wake up your curl pattern so I can finish this, what do you think of the overall length?  It’s still a little longer than I had planned to leave it.”

”You’re going to wet it to wake up the curl pattern?” I asked, feeling a little emotional that maybe Jill did care how I looked and not just what Vi wanted.

“As long as you don’t mind.  I know it sounds like a nuisance, but I need to see the curl to respect your curl pattern when I finish this.”  Jill said apologetically.  “If you want I can straighten it again when we’re done.   But first, are you good with this being fairly close to the length when it’s straight?  Or did you want it much shorter?”

”It’s kind of in her eyes.” Vi observed as Jill let a bit of the front flop forward.

“It won’t be when it’s curly.”  Jill explained.  ”But it will be in your eyes if you straighten it, which is why I’m asking Kate if she’s ok with this length.  Do you mind that it will be in your eyes if you straighten it?”

I was about to say I wanted to keep as much length as possible, when Vi piped in with, “What about when the curls are wet and weighed down?”

“We’ll see once I’ve wetted it.”  Jill stated.  “I just wanted to give Kate a chance to see what it’s like and say something while it’s straight.”

I wrinkled my lips, feeling unsure.  I was doing this for Vi, so it kind of made sense to just go with what she wanted, but I also didn’t want it to be too harsh.  My first instinct was to ask Which will look like the haircut in the photo?, but I realized it didn’t matter that much.

“Do whatever you think is best.“  I said, trying to trust that Jill had good taste just as I had told Vi’s mom when she was unsure about just trusting Jill, but of course Meredith was probably more important to Jill.

”Ok, let’s see it wet” Jill said and stopped playing with the short hair, I expected her to simply get the spray bottle I had seen her occasionally use when hair began to get a little dry before a haircut was finished, but instead she seemed to be lifting the hem of the cape slightly and gathering some of the bulk of the fabric.  Then she added, “come on, let’s head to the sinks, so I can get it really saturated.”

I felt a slight lump in my throat as I realized how much trouble Jill was actually going to to make sure my haircut would be as nice as Vi’s was.  Somehow, I had always just thought of myself as the annoying tag-along who came with Violet, who Jill had watched grow up, and not as one of Jill’s real clients.

When we came back to the styling chair, and Jill squeezed out the excess moisture with a towel, my curls weren’t just back, they were multiplied.  I turned my head back and forth in the mirror, inspecting the unexpected riot of ringlets.

“The curls are tighter because the weight is off.”  Jill explained, seeming to have sensed the unasked question.  “Now, if I take off just enough to bring it up out of your eyes while wet, it will probably hit about here when you let the curls dry naturally and shrink upward.”

As I looked at the spot Jill indicated just above my eyebrow, Vi nodded her approval.  Jill ignored Vi though, and simply kept eye contact with me, waiting for my opinion.

“Ok,” I agreed in a small voice, feeling a little nervous about the idea of having hair not even touching my eyebrows, but I could see Vi liked the idea, and I was doing this for her.

Jill smiled at me reassuringly, and grabbed a smaller pair of scissors from the counter.  Jill pinched a lock, obviously being careful to not really stretch it out, and held it just away from my head, and began to snip an extra little bit from the ends at an angle with the pointy tip of the littler scissors.

Snip, snip, snip.

The small damp clippings fell to my cape covered lap as Jill tenderly lifted curl after curl to snip off the ends of them.  I watched in the mirror, surprised at how what had been loose wavy curls had turned into distinct corkscrews.   They got very slightly stretched as Jill lifted them to snip off a bit of their length, but she would give each one a gentle scrunch after and carefully place them back where they naturally wanted to sit.  

Snip, snip, snip.

Jill shook the hair from the roots, encouraging the curls to do what they would when windblown and damp.  The front fell just slightly in my eyes causing me to blink.  When I saw the sharp points approach, I instinctively closed my eyes tightly just before I felt the cold metal touch just below my eyebrows.  

Snup, snip, snip, snip.

I felt the tips of the scissors take little nips along my forehead.  It didn’t feel like they were traveling across like they had when Jill had cut Meredith’s bangs, but instead it was a little series of disconnected upward bites.  I felt little wet bits land on my nose and in my eyelashes, and just kept my eyes closed.

Then Jill finally dusted off my face with a soft brush, so I could see the damp curls that brushed my thick eyebrows.  She shook and scrunched the short curls on top of my head.  She just took a few little snips, then put the little scissors back down on the counter.  

She once again, picked up the larger shears, and tilted my head forward.  She combed up the back of my head, through the very short hair she’d shorn earlier with the clippers, then snipped against the comb.  The metal blades clicked rhythmically against the hard plastic teeth that were scraping up the back of my head.  It was the same thing she’d done each time she’d cut Vi’s hair.  

With each snip, it was becoming even more obvious that she was putting the same care and effort into my haircut as she had into Violet’s.  Even if deciding to get this haircut had been an impulsive mistake, at least I knew it was going to be a well executed impulsive mistake.  

Jill took her time, occasionally picking up the trimmer again and slightly adjusting my hairline.  Then she’d switch to snipping just a little again.

Jill put down the scissors with finality, not picking up the trimmer, and gave the hair on the top of my head a final scrunch, with some product in her hands..

”So this is what it looks like curly.” Jill announced, smiling at my reflection.  “When you just want to let it dry naturally, just use a little of this, and give it a good scrunch.  Do you want me to dry it with the diffuser so that you have the curly version, or do you want me to blow it out so that it’s more like the version in the magazine?”

I turned my head, taking in what it looked like.  The cap of curls sat there in glossy bouncy loose ringlets.  It wasn’t the voluminous frizz I had feared.  The tightly cropped sides, definitely eliminated the ball of frizz shape I had remembered from middle school.  I had worried maybe the top would look like a mushroom cap, but Jill had shaped it so the shorn sides blended up to the curls gradually, and didn’t have a too harsh disconnect.  It looked perfectly good as curls. 

“Can I see the blow out?” I requested, since I was curious what else it could do.

Jill nodded with a smile as she picked up a not quite as big as usual round brush, and hair dryer.  Jill began twirling the brush through the hair, really only working at the slightly less short hair at the top, just letting the side dry from the warm air that hit them indirectly.  She used the brush and a narrow nozzle to sculpt the hair up and back, giving it a soft wave in the front that swept across my forehead, then off to the side.  It was clear, that straightened like this, it wasn’t as fully out of my eyes as it was when curly.

I started at myself as Jill turned off the hair dryer, and gave the style a light mist of hairspray.  I was amazed at the degree to which I had been transformed.  I looked like a stranger.  My face looked longer and narrower.  My neck looked longer.  It was definitely more mature and professional looking than the long waves had been.  I felt strangely shy about it.

Jill took the cape off of me, revealing my light sundress.  The remnants of my once long hair slid from the cape to the floor, where there was even more of my hair strewn about.  Jill held up the hand mirror, just as she had for Vi, to show me the back of my head.  

I nervously raised my hand and stroked down the back of my head.  It felt velvety like Vi’s did at the very bottom, even though my hairline was a very different shape.  The velvety sensation went all the way up the back of my head, not just at the very bottom like Vi’s.

Jill had cut it quite differently from Violet’s.  Instead of a shaved in high round neckline, the hair simply got shorter and shorter, till the length matched the stubble on my actual neck, and the shape was the elegant point I had liked, which seemed to just be my natural hairline shape in the middle, the elegant shape from the magazine, with just the edges cleaned up.  Though the hair on the top of my head was slightly longer than Vi’s, the sides were shorter.  Mostly though, it was just a very different shape and texture.  Even straightened, there was significant volume on the top that gave it much more height than Vi’s hair that lay smoothly against her head, even though Jill had pulled the straight blonde locks upward as she dried them.

It was good looking, not at all like the time my mother had dragged me to the cheap chain salon to be made to look less mature, less like the teen I had been blossoming into.  This actually made me look more mature.  But it still left me feeling vulnerable and exposed.  I still didn’t quite feel like I looked the way I was meant to.  Like my outside no longer matched my inside.

I looked at Vi, she was all smiles.  

——————————— Lunch ————————-

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet up with some of our friends, or go to my parents’ for lunch?”  Vi asked me as she held open the door to the brewery I had been looking forward to for lunch.  “You look so nice, don’t you want to show it off?”

“I need to get used to it.”  I just said, as I yet again self consciously stroked my too bare neck, trying not to act like I just wanted to go home and hide.  “I’m not ready to see people I know.”

“Ok honey,”  Vi agreed a little reluctantly, before turning to the hostess to get us a table.

As we followed the hostess past the bar and out to a table on the patio, I thought I wasn’t only not ready to see people I knew, but I was feeling pretty weird being seen by strangers to, even though they had no idea about the mass of long hair I’d had just a couple of hours ago.  None of them would look at me and feel something was missing or had changed, but I felt off.

When we sat down, I could feel a million eyes staring at me, I looked around, and of course no one was actually looking at me.  They were all just enjoying their own lunches.  I opened the menu, and hid behind it trying to keep my eyes focused long enough to read, instead of checking to make sure no one was looking at me over and over.

I knew Violet hadn’t felt the same way when she’d first cut off her hair.  Maybe it was just that the short hair fit Vi’s cool sporty vibe.  It felt like a complete mismatch to my vibe though.  I definitely felt like it didn’t match my softly feminine dress.  The model in the magazine had been in a business suit; I didn’t even own a business suit.

It was about a half hour after sitting down, when I was still just poking at my food, and barely participating in the conversation, that Vi said, “Honey, you look fine, nobody is staring at us.”

”I know,” I responded as I discreetly glanced around the patio, once again confirming everyone was still focused on their own food and dining companions,  “but knowing isn’t the same as feeling it.  I just feel self conscious anyway.  I almost feel naked.”

I frowned at Vi and petted my exposed neck again.

“Do you want to just finish up your lunch and get going?”  Vi suggested.  “We could go to that beach that can only be accessed by boat.  It should be practically empty on a weekday.”

I looked down at my still mostly full plate of food I only had a slight appetite for, and gave it another poke with my fork.  “Maybe we can get them to wrap this up and I can finish it at the beach.”

Vi sighed, looking sad.  But she nodded and waved at our waiter.

————————————— on the Beach ————————————

We anchored close enough to the shoreline, that it was a quick swim, not worth getting out the kayaks.  I just stepped off the sugar scoop, plunging into the cold water.  I closed my eyes, as I felt the chill surrounding me, the sudden coldness knocking the breath out of me, before I bobbed back up to the surface, where I inhaled sharply.   I blinked the water from my eyes, just in time to watch Violet plunge feet first into the gentle surf just a foot or so to my side, splashing me with more of the cold water.

I felt a little weird in my swimsuit as Vi and I had changed.  She looked as great as ever in her sporty two piece.  Her casual short hair fit perfectly with the bikini top that was cut like a sports bra and the little shorts.  In my more traditional one piece the formal style Jill had done with my hair just felt like a mismatch, I usually wore my long hair in a pair of pigtails, a single thick braid, or a bun.  I had tried to not think about it too much.  Of course that careful styling Jill had done was wiped away when I’d plunged into the water.

I brushed my hand back through the short curls on the top of my head, as I watched Vi bob back up to the surface and inhale, just as I had.  Brushing the hair back was more habit than necessity.  The wet curls hadn’t really been in my face, the way my long hair would have been if I’d worn it loose.  Vi’s own short hair was plastered back against her head with the salt water.

”Race you to shore,” Vi challenged with a giggle, and took off swimming.  

I swam after, knowing I would trail behind no matter how much effort I put in, and not really caring.  I think Vi just always made it a challenge out of the habit of competing with her sister or Meghan.  There were feats of athleticism where I was Violet’s match, but swimming wasn’t one of them.  Growing up in a landlocked state, I had taken swimming lessons at the Y and done reasonably well, but beyond that swimming had always been a special occasion or vacation thing.  I hadn’t even seen the ocean till I was 12 on a family car trip, and then didn’t see it again till I moved out here after college.  Vi had grown up going to the beach most summer weekends and playing in backyard pools on weekdays.  Swimming was as natural to her as running.

When I caught up with Vi where the waves licked the sand, there was no gloating over her victory, she just wrapped her arms around me, and we kissed as the foam swirled around our ankles.  

I returned the kiss, shyly, nervous about making a too blatant public display of affection.  Then I looked around as we walked up towards the dry sand, and realized Vi’s prediction that the beach would be practically empty was an underestimation of the privacy we would have.  The beach was quite literally completely empty except for us.  

Once we sat on the warm sand, I was relaxed about not being seen, so I didn’t hold back as I ran my hands over Vi’s damp body while we kissed more passionately.  If I wasn’t concerned about the pain of having sand stuck in private parts, I would have shed my swimsuit and helped Vi peel hers off so we could actually fully make love in our private oasis.  After a while, the limitations of the bathing suits began to become nearly unbearable.  

“Let’s swim back now,”  Vi whispered closely in my ear.

I look at the cold water lapping against the sand.  I was hot enough from the sun beating against my skin and the warm sand beneath me that could stand the idea of a quick chill.  The idea of the cool water washing away the sand stuck to my body had great appeal.  But the idea that my hair was going to be wet and dripping for hours was too much.

”Would you mind swimming and getting the tender?”  I asked her, feeling a bit guilty, then added apologetically,  “I just don’t want to have wet hair for hours.”

”Just keep your head up while you swim,”  Vi suggested with a chuckle.

“But the water will splash up and get the back of my head wet and soak into my hair.” I pointed out.

”It’s not like you have braids that will trail in the water or a big bun back there anymore,”  Vi reminded me as she reached over and ran her hand over the velvety bristles that was all that was left of the hair I didn’t want to be sopping wet for hours.  “Now you can just rub a towel over this and it will be dry.”

”I kind of forgot.” I admitted, feeling a little embarrassed and the self consciousness returning.

My hand rose up to the back of my head, my fingers encountering Vi’s nimble digits.  I nervously smiled at her, and we both felt the short pelt we were still just getting used to.

”Come on,” Vi said as she stopped petting me, and got up.  “Let’s go home.”

I nodded, and began walking into the splashing cool water with my beautiful wife.  This time we slowly swam together, side by side,  I kept my head up as she had suggested, keeping the short curls on the top of my head mostly dry, as Vi relaxed and did a lazy backstroke once we were past where the small waves were breaking.  

———————— When it finally hits ———————-

As we pulled ourselves up out of the cold water and on to the sugar scoop, Pumpkin who’d been asleep on the helm seat, looked at us as though we were crazy, before he yawned stretched, then turned over to go back to sleep facing the other way.   Vi pulled out the sprayer head of the transom shower to rinse the cold salty water from our bodies with the hot freshwater.  As the warm spray cleaned our bodies, we both peeled off our drenched swimsuits, so we could hang them over the backrest of the settee to dry.  

 Free of concerns about getting sand in private parts, and standing next to my wife’s magnificent unconcealed body, my hands began to run over the slightly firm muscles of her shoulders and back, then down to her soft rump.  As I did, she lifted the towel from the seat of the settee, and began to dry me off.  Vi rubbed the soft towel vigorously over my nape briefly, before grabbing her own towel to drape over her perfect shoulders.

“See, all dry already.”  Vi informed me, as she reached out and stroked down the back of my head.  “Just one of the many joys of short hair.  Isn’t it just so easy and comfortable”

I raise my own hand to the back of my head confirming the dryness of the soft bristles that was all Jill had left me to cover my scalp.  I had intended to just nod confirmation, but as my fingers brushed over the short hair, and I stood there feeling doubly naked, I felt my face frown, and had to swallow down to not start crying.  I looked over at Vi, who was vigorously rubbing her towel over her own short hair, which though it had the higher neckline seemed longer than mine in several other places.  

I’d always had moments of feeling a little inadequate next to Vi, as I stood there, feeling more naked than I ever had before, it was doubly keen.   I’d felt less naked with the long hair that draped down my body, not quite as well dressed as Lady Godiva, but not so terribly exposed.  Violet’s perfect form just felt more worthy of being so completely on display.   With a curtain of long hair, I could sort of convince myself that my softer curvier, more petite figure was romantic and feminine, like a brunette version of Botticelle’s “Birth of Venus,” but now I didn’t have that.

Vi looked at me, and wrinkled her lips.

“Please don’t cry honey.” She pleaded with me.  “You look so nice.  It’s so much more mature and professional.”

At that, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.  I didn’t want to look mature and professional.  Especially I didn’t want those to be the first things that came to mind when I was standing before my wife bare naked.  I wanted to be pretty and romantic looking.  I started to cry.

Vi soon had me wrapped in the comfort of both the soft towel and her strong arms as she made soothing sounds and belatedly told me how pretty I was still.  I leaned in, accepting the comfort, though I still kept crying against her firm shoulder, my body pressed against her pert breasts and soft belly.

”Shhhhhh… Shhhhhhhh… it’s ok, you look so good, and you’ll love it once you get used to it.”  Vi continued to try to convince me as my sobs began to fade, not really because I felt better, but just because I had run out of tears.  “Let’s go cuddle.”

Violet led me forward, to the trampolines.  We each lay down our towels, slightly overlapping the way we had many times before, then Vi lowered herself to lay on top of the soft towel, her perfect naked form spread out before me to gaze upon.  The long shadows of the late afternoon sun highlighting the shape of her toned arms; the shoulders she thought were too broad, but I thought were perfect; the pert breasts with their pink nipples I loved to twiddle and tease.  The warm light  from the sun that was close to touching the horizon was hitting her short blonde hair, turning her usual pale color golden.  

I felt like my haircut didn’t go with being naked, it was a businessy haircut, it went with a businesswoman in a suit, business women aren’t meant to be naked.

“Come join me.” Vi encouraged me after I had just stood there too long staring down at her.

I nodded, and reclined next to my wife’s familiar form so we were face to face.  She immediately began to glide her hands over my body.  Self conscious as I was, when I looked in Vi’s bright blue eyes, I saw love and lust and wonder.  I tried to just believe that I could still inspire such feelings, even if I felt like I just looked awkward.

“I wish you felt as beautiful as you are.”  Vi said to me, as she stroked her hand down my cheek, before she once again pressed her lips to mine.

I accepted the kiss, hoping to just get lost in the moment.  I let my lips fall open, feeling Vi’s tongue.  Her hand drifted towards the back of my head, cradling it.  The tips of her fingers easily worked their way through the short hair there, and started kneading against my scalp, dislodging sand.  

I returned the gesture, my hands traveling up Violet’s back and petting against her freshly cut hair.  As I felt the soft velvet against my palm, I appreciated why Vi might be enjoying the feel of my haircut even if I did look as awkward as I felt like I did.

Violet’s hands started to move down my body, her fingers lightly brushing over my arms, and then to my belly.  She paused kissing me, and moved down down, her lips brushing my cheeks, then she started nibbling my neck.  she kissed along my shoulders, and then she began to tend to my nipples.  She took one into her mouth, as she twirled her fingertip around the other.  She sucked on it hard, and tongue cupping it as she did.   Then she switched.

As she did, my own hands crept down her body.  I gently nudged her thighs apart, my fingers sneaking into her familiar folds.  I found her swollen clit and began to press it rhythmically.  I stroked from the wet slit up to the protrusion, letting its little hood pull back.  

“Ohhhhhhhh” Violet let out as she released my nipple, and arched backwards,

I knew I had hit the right spot, and pressed harder..  Vi’s face glowed with pleasure in the fading pink light.  I felt her shiver, and knew I’d brought her to climax.

I let her recover briefly, then gently inserted a finger inside her warm wet slit.  My finger nuzzled into the safe and comforting opening.  I gently stroked my love from the inside, as I felt her spasm with ecstasy.  

When she’d recovered from her orgasms, Vi turned her attention back to me.  She ran her lovely hands down my thighs and guided my legs open.  She slid between my legs, her short hair tickling the insides of my thighs.   

She began by just kissing my mons, the pressure increasing the urgency I had to feel her strong tongue pressing inside me.  I let out a little moan, and she moved down, wrapping her lips around my clit and started to suck.  I felt her tongue stroking over my sensitive pearl, my wetness combining with hers.  

My insides convulsed as the first orgasm took me.  Then Vi slid down further and began to thrust her strong tongue inside me.  I organsmed again and again as she pressed harder and harder.  She kept it up till I was shaking.

We continued taking turns, bringing each other to climax over and over.  Trying to vary things switching between mouths and hands.  We kept it up till it was full dark, and we were both exhausted beneath the stars that had appeared.

———————— Lapping waves ————————

“This feels so nice,” Violet commented as she combed her fingers through the short curls on my crown.  “I love that your hair isn’t pulled back in a tight bun like last time we lay out here under the stars, listening to the waves lapping against the hull.  I’ve missed running my fingers through your hair.   And I really do think it looks great.  I wish you liked it as much as I do.”

”Maybe I just need a little time to get used to it.”  I said, even though I didn’t really feel it.  Maybe if I said it enough times I could convince myself.  “I should listen to you about not making decisions so impulsively.”

”hmmmm,”  Vi murmured thoughtfully.  “It’s the impulsive ones that seem to make me happy though.  This haircut; buying this yacht; when you just said yes to marrying me without having to think it over; when you brought home that dirty kitten you found in a dumpster… speak of the devil…”

”Meow,” Pumpkin asked to join us, carefully testing that the surface would hold his weight as he stepped onto the trampoline.

”I guess all the other impulsive decisions have worked out pretty well,” I agreed as Pumpkin lay down in my arms and started to rumble.  “It feels really nice having you run your fingers through my hair the way you used to before I always had to put it up.  I’m sure I just need a little time to get used to short hair.  ”

”Of course you do,“  Vi assured me, and reached over and stroked Pumpkin’s head between his velvety ears.

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