Comfy femboy has a crush

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Occurs canonically after “Plain as a bowl of oatmeal” and simultaneously as “The Femboy Gang”


1st attempt

Brianna and Kai sit in the coffee shop, a typical after work occurrence for them.  The two are great friends, but are as close to opposites as two people could get.  Brianna’s style would be considered business professional if one had to describe it, the only part of her look that is out of place is her smooth shaved head she’s been wearing for a couple months now.  Kai on the other hand has a comfy femboy aesthetic, typically in sweatshirts or hoodies, short shorts, long thigh high socks, big circle glasses, and long blonde hair that reaches to his shoulder blades.  


Even though they are great friends, Brianna has one problem with Kai, she has been jealous of his long hair for the length of their friendship.  Even before Brianna started shaving her head, her hair was thinning, and Kai’s full, voluminous long blonde hair was something she couldn’t achieve.  Brianna would never do anything malicious to Kai’s hair, however, she is always on the lookout for opportunities to make comments to try to convince him to cut it.  Kai is a self-admitted airhead a lot of the time, so he is aloof to the intention of Brianna, he frequently just laughs off her comments and doesn’t think anything of it.  


While sitting at the coffee shop drinking their coffee, Kai brings up the crush he has on the guy across the shop.  For these two, this is a frequent topic of conversation, and Brianna is beginning to tire of it.  


Kai puts his elbow on the table and rests his chin on his hand, “Gooood he’s so hot.” 

“Him again huh, why don’t you just go talk to him?” asks Brianna.

“I’m terrified… obviously.  I can’t even bring myself to go ask what his name is.” Kai responds.

“First off, his name is Danni, but yeah I understand it’s hard for you, you’re not the most forward person.”  Brianna says.  

“How long have you known his name?!”  asks Kai.

“Uh, for a long time, everyone knows Danni, he’s the most unique person in this coffee shop.” Brianna responds.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?!” Kai questions.

“You never asked!” Brianna exclaims.

“Fiiiiine, I guess I never did.”  accepts Kai.

“I love you, but I think you’ve gotta move this situation along.  If you want to talk to him and get to know him, you’re going to have to go over there.”  says Brianna. 

Kai hides his hands in his long sleeve sweatshirt, “But it’s so nervewracking!”  says Kai.  

“I know, but lots of things in life are terrifying.  You’ve gotta do terrifying things sometimes.”   Brianna advises.  

“What do I even saaaaay?” asks Kai.

“Just go introduce yourself and see where it goes from there.”  Brianna says. 

Kai takes a deep breath and says, “You’re right, let’s see what happens.” 


He arises from his chair, and slowly walks over to the table that Danni is seated at.  Danni has his back to him, so he can’t see him coming.  This gives Kai a little more confidence for the situation, as it gives him an escape plan if he panics on his way over.  


Kai reaches the table, swallows deeply and softly ways, “Hey there, my name-”  


His introduction is interrupted by a spat that breaks out between Danni and another table of femboys.  Kai’s eyes go wide as the two tables argue back and forth.  He quickly turns around and scurries back to his table with Brianna.  


“What happened?  Did you get to talk to him?” asks Brianna.

“No!  Another table started insulting him as I was introducing myself and he never heard me!”  Kai answers. 

“Oh is that table of femboys back again?  Yeah they’ve been going at it for a couple weeks now.”  says Brianna.

“You know about this?!” Kai questions.

“Uh yeah, how have you not seen it the past few times we’ve been here?”  Brianna questions as she laughs. 

“Goood you know I’m an airhead, you have to warn me about these kinds of things…” says Kai.

“I didn’t realize it was possible to not know!  They’ve been so loud!”  says Brianna as she laughs.  

“Ok well, I’m a nervous wreck now, I’m heading home for today.  I’ll text you later.”  says Kai.


2nd attempt

A couple weeks later, back at the coffee shop, Brianna is again helping Kai muster up the courage to talk to Danni.


Brianna encourages Kai, “I know the other attempt wasn’t ideal, but this time I know that table of femboys isn’t here.  I think you should try again, I know you won’t be interrupted this time.”  

“You’re right, I was able to do it once already, right?  I think I can do it again.”  Kai responds. 

Kai stands up, takes a deep breath, and starts his walk to Danni’s table.  He walks over slowly, gets to Danni’s table and softly says, “Hey, my name’s Kai.”  


Danni doesn’t respond to Kai’s introduction, he’s got his headphones in and he is deep into his book, he’s completely oblivious to what is happening.  


Kai stands there for a couple seconds, the uncomfortableness grows inside of him.  Eventually Kai gives up and wanders back to his table.  


He plops back down in his chair, sticks his elbows on the table, and rests his chin on his hands.  “He didn’t even respond to me.”  says Kai sorrowfully. 

“What?!  He said nothing?”  says Brianna confused.

“Literally nothing.”  Kai responds.


Brianna stands up from her seat and looks over at Danni.


“Do you know he has headphones in?”  asks Brianna.

“…. no.”  Kai responds shyly.  

“I’m sure he just didn’t notice you were there.”  says Brianna.

“How do I get him to notice me?!”  asks Kai.

“I think that if you were to fit what he likes, he’d for sure notice you if you walked up to him.”  says Brianna.

“How do I know what he likes?”  asks Kai.

“I’ve got a hunch as to what he likes… I think he likes short haired guys.”  says Brianna.

“Huh?  Why do you say that?” Kai asks, confused.

“I’m just going by the evidence here.  We know he’s been arguing with a whole table full of femboys who have long hair.  Those guys are cute as hell, why wouldn’t he try to get along with them?  Also look at his own hair, it’s suuuuuuper short”  Brianna responds.

“I guess that’s a good point…”  Kai says.


Brianna isn’t being completely genuine here, she knows there are plenty of reasons why they could be arguing.  She’s longed for a reason to get Kai to cut his hair, this is just another potential line for that to happen.


Kai sits for a couple seconds before asking, “How short do you think he likes it?”  

“Well judging by his own hairstyles, like… really really short.  Shorter than a pixie for sure.”  Brianna answers.

“There is no chance in hell that I’m doing something like that right now.  I need evidence before I make that kind of decision…”  says Kai.

“That’s totally understandable, let’s just monitor the situation, maybe I’m wrong ya know?”  says Brianna. 

“For sure, now I’m like totally flustered just thinking about this happening.  I’m gonna head home for today.”  says Kai as he stands up from the table.


Evidence mounts

A couple weeks later, another day at the coffee shop, Kai arrives and Brianna has already been sitting there for some time.  


“I’ve got some interesting news Kai.”  says Brianna immediately upon Kai getting to the table.  

“What’s that?”  asks Kai.  

“Look over at Danni’s table.”  says Brianna as she points at the table.

“Oh he’s got some friends, good for him.”  says Kai.

“Those aren’t just any friends, look who they are.”  Brianna responds.

“Is… that the group of femboys he was arguing with?”  asks Kai.

“It sure is.” confirms Brianna.

“Does one of them have a FUCKING BUZZCUT?!” asks Kai incredulously. 

“He sure does.”  Brianna confirms as she laughs.  

“Oh god, you’re actually right about what he likes aren’t you?”  asks Kai.

“We were waiting for evidence… this is pretty good evidence.  Danni couldn’t stand them, and now all of a sudden one of them has a buzzcut and he’s cool with them.” says Brianna.

“I’m losing my shit right now.  What the hell am I supposed to do?!”  Kai questions annoyedly.  

“Technically you don’t have to do anything.”  says Brianna.

“But I want him to like me!”  Kai exclaims.

“Then maybe you’ve gotta cut your hair short.”  says Brianna.

“Jesus, how short do you think I have to go?”  asks Kai.

“Well from available information, at least a short buzzcut.  But I’d suggest something shorter to get his attention.”  answers Brianna. 


Kai sits there for a moment, while he grabs his long hair to play with it.  


Kai resigns himself to the situation, “If that’s what I have to do, then that’s what I have to do.  When should I do it?”  

Brianna, giddy that her plan worked, responds, “How about next time we are gonna come to the coffee shop, you come to my apartment first.  I’ll cut your hair so it’s as fresh as possible for him.”

Kai takes a deep breath, “Fine, I’ll text you about it.  I’m not really in the mood for coffee now to be honest.  I’m just gonna head home and sulk.”




Haircut time

The next day, Kai arrives at Brianna’s apartment.  Brianna guides Kai to the bathroom where she already has a chair setup with some towels underneath it.  


“Have a seat right here!”  Brianna says excitedly as she pats the chair. 


Kai slowly makes his way to the seat and sits down, then Brianna drapes a towel around his shoulders.  She reaches for his glasses and takes them off him, then sets them on the bathroom counter.  


“How are you feeling about this?”  asks Brianna.

“I am fucking losing it inside.”  says Kai nervously.  

“I’ll wait until you tell me to, I’m not going to force you to do anything.” says Brianna.

Kai hyperventilating, “I just need to calm down, give me a minute.”

Brianna hugs her friend from behind, “I know it’s tough, believe me I know.” she says as she points to her own head. 

“I’m confident that this’ll do wonders for you, and you’re still gonna be adorable.”  Brianna says, trying to encourage her friend.  

Kai, calming down, “Alright get to it, lets get it over with.”


Brianna unwraps her arms from around Kai, and grabs the clippers from the counter.  


“Here we go!”  Brianna says excitedly.

“You know, I didn’t ask how short we were gonna go.  I know you said really short.”  says Kai.

“Oh you’re gonna be bald.”  says Brianna.

“What do you mean bald?”  asks Kai.

“We’re gonna be twinsies”  Brianna responds happily.

“Huh?  We’re gonna be-”, is all Kai can get out before he’s interrupted by the clippers clicking on and being pushed over the middle of his head.  


Kai’s mouth becomes wide open in shock, unable to be closed.  Brianna joyfully shears Kai’s head with her no guard clippers.  The clippers rip through Kai’s hair quickly, in a matter of no time the top of Kai’s head is nothing but stubble.  


Finally getting his mouth to move again he says, “Jesus you’re not messing around are you?”  

“I may or may not enjoy this a lot.” says Brianna with a laugh.


Brianna continues to buzz Kai’s head, removing all hair on the right side of his head before moving to the left side and removing the hair there.  A large mound of hair is piling up in Kai’s lap, but with his state of shock he’s currently unaware of how much is there.  With Brianna’s next move though, Kai is unable to avoid it.  Brianna pushes Kai’s head forward, his chin hitting his chest. 


Kai is now staring directly at the giant pile of blonde hair in his lap.  His nose starts to sniffle as he realizes the gravity of what is occurring.  Brianna parts Kai’s hair in the back so that the long strands hang over his shoulders and past the side of his head.  When the clippers push up the back of the head, the long strands fall past Kai’s face, increasing the giant pile in his lap.  This is Kai’s breaking point, the tears begin to emerge from his eyes as Brianna finishes up buzzing his entire head.  


Brianna notices Kai tearing up and shuts the clippers off after finishing, “It’ll be ok, it’s just hair, you’ll survive.”

Kai annoyed at her cold hearted statement, “Not fucking helping right now.”  

“You’re right, I’m sorry.  We’re almost done though, stay strong, it’ll be over quickly.”  says Brianna.

“What do you mean almost done?  Isn’t this it?”  asks Kai.

Brianna turns on the hot water and puts a towel under it while responding, “Oh no, we still have to shave it.  We’re not twins yet.” 


She turns the water off, and places the hot towel on Kai’s head.   Even with Kai’s annoyance and sadness, this is still a very pleasurable feeling.  He closes his eyes to enjoy the moment, but it goes too quickly as Brianna removes the towel a few minutes later, and a wave of coldness hits his head.  Brianna sprays a bunch of shaving cream on Kai’s head, then spreads it around with her hands leaving no area untouched.  She washes her hands off in the sink, then grabs her razor and gets to work.  


Brianna slowly scrapes away at Kai’s head, removing that last little bit of stubble left over from the clippers.  After every couple of scrapes she washes the razor out in the sink to ensure there isn’t a lot of buildup on the razor.  The tears continue to trickle out of Kai’s eyes as he realizes he’s getting more than he bargained for, he didn’t expect Brianna wanted to shave him completely smooth bald, and he’s too paralyzed to stop her.  


After about 10 minutes of shaving away at Kai’s head, re-applying some shaving cream and going over some areas multiple times, Brianna finishes the job.  She grabs a towel and wipes Kai’s head clean, then uses the same towel to wipe away the tears on his face.  


“Oh my god you look soooooo good.  Do you want to see it?!”  she questions excitedly. 

“I guess I have to see it sometime…”  Kai quietly responds.


Brianna removes the towel from Kai’s shoulders.  Kai stands up and the giant pile of blond hair that was in his lap falls to the floor.  He brushes the long strands remaining on his shirt to the floor and walks to the mirror with his head down.  Kai stands next to Brianna who is also standing in front of the mirror, puts on his glasses, and then looks up to see his reflection.  The reaction of the two could not be more different.  The expression on Kai’s face is one of worry, as his hands instinctively come up to his cheeks and rest on the side of his face, meanwhile Brianna has a smile from ear to ear, so happy with the outcome.  


“You are so adorable, and now we’re twins!” says Brianna giddy with excitement.

“I look like a fucking egg.”  says Kai.

“God my scalp is so white compared to the rest of my scalp.”  He further critiques.  

“Yeah I had the same problem when I shaved mine, just wear sunscreen when you’re out for a little bit and it’ll be fine.  Try rubbing it though!  It feels amazing.”  Brianna answers.

“I don’t wanna touch it…” Kai responds.

“Fine, I’m giving you a head massage then.”  says Brianna.


Brianna walks behind Kai, and rubs his head.  Her hands explore every area of Kai’s newly shaved smooth head.  Kai’s eyes close in ecstasy, and his head tips back as she massages his head.


“Alright alright, even if I don’t like how it looks at the moment, this feels amazing.”  says Kai.  

“I toooold you, rub it yourself.”  says Brianna. 


Brianna stops rubbing his head, and lets Kai explore his own head.  Kai spends some time rubbing his own head, he involuntarily bites his lip in enjoyment from the feeling.  The rubbing helps Kai calm down, he stops for a moment to inspect himself seriously in the mirror.  He moves his head from side to side, looking at himself from all angles.  


“Give me a few minutes to redo my makeup from my crying, and then let’s go to the coffee shop so I can see if this was worth it.”  says Kai.

“No problem, I’ll be in the living room waiting for you.”  says Brianna.

As Kai is redoing his makeup, he repeats to himself in the mirror, “This is worth it, this is worth it.”  


Was it worth it

The two arrive at the coffee shop and can see Danni sitting in his usual spot.  


“I’m just going right over there, I’m not waiting for my nerves to take over.” says Kai

“Good luck!  I’m going to grab a table over here in case you need me.”  Brianna responds.


Kai takes a deep breath and walks over to Danni’s table.  He stands in Danni’s field of vision and waits for him to remove his airpods.  


“What do you want?” asks Danni.

Kai softly says, “Hi, my name is Kai.”

“Oh, you’re not who I expected, I didn’t mean to be so cold.  I’ve been dealing with this group of femboys for a while.”  says Danni.

Kai laughs, “Yeah, my friend and I have seen what they’ve been putting you through.”

“Ah, have I seen you before?  Didn’t you used to have amazing long blonde hair?” asks Danni.

Kai has a sense of dread that you can see on his face as he responds, “Yeah… I did, I heard a rumor that you liked guys with super short hair…”

“So you shaved your head for me?” Danni asks, confused. 

“Yeah I did, is that too psycho?  Do you like it?” Kai asks meekly.

“I will tell you what, you’ve got guts for sure.  You did this on a rumor, and I’m sure you’re not aware of my sexuality either.  What if I’m not gay or bi?”  asks Danni.

“It’s pretty crazy yeah, and I admittedly didn’t think of that second part…”  Kai responds quietly, still unsure of the situation.


For Danni, he doesn’t actually care whether a guy has long or short hair, but he can read Kai’s emotions on his face, and he doesn’t need to relay that fact to him.  He can sense if he told him that, it might break him completely.  


“Well to ease your worries, I think you look absolutely adorable with the bald head.  I think it fits you really well.  Do you want to sit with me and talk?”  says Danni.  

Kai’s face lights up, it feels like he’s going to cry with happiness, but he holds it in and responds, “Yesss absolutely, let me go get some coffee though!”

“Alright, I’ll be here.”  says Danni.


Kai walks away, but then his walk turns to a joyful skip as he gets out of Danni’s field of vision.  He skips to the table where Brianna is sitting, a look of complete happiness on his face. 


“Went well I take it?” asks Brianna.

Kai responds, “I hate what you made me go through, but I fucking LOVE you right now Brianna”  

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