Tacky and Upsetting
The stall was set up near the Starbuck’s, alongside the indoor pond all the kids loved to chuck 2p coins in. Ellie thought it was some kind of joke at first.
“GIRLS!!! BEAT THE COST OF LIVING!!!” the sign screamed in pink block capitals on a blue background. “SHAVE YOUR HEADS FOR £££!”
Alongside the sign was a crappy plastic garden chair, and then a table with all the equipment you’d need to shave a head – clippers, scissors, razors and a big can of shave gel. It was staffed by a tall thin guy in his 40s who looked like an overgrown boy band member with the awful frosted tips hair and fake tan and a black short with flames on it. A, small skinny woman with dyed black hair and sharp features which gave her an almost permanent smirk was chatting with him.
Ellie slowed as she past the stall.
The frosted tips guy, who had been acting like he hadn’t noticed her until now held his out to silence the black haired woman. ‘Come on, Blondie, you know you want to.’
‘No, no, I’m good…I spend too much on hair to shave it all off. Is this for real?’
‘Yup.’ He said.
‘Really?’ Ellie slowed to a stop. ‘And people actually do this?’
‘All the time. We were in Manchester last week, it was mad wasn’t it, Jade?’ He said to the woman.
‘Oh my days,’ she spoke in a grating, chavvy yap. ‘It was insane. How many bags of hair did we have by the end of the week, Dom?’
‘Oh, like big bin bags? Four?’
‘No, it was more than four.’
‘Woah.’ Ellie’s eyes widened.
‘Want to be our first shave?’ Dom gestured to the chair.
Ellie felt sick just thinking about it. ‘Nah, you’re good.’
‘You work here?’ Dom asked.
‘Yeah, one of the clothes shop in the next mall along.’
He raised a wry eyebrow. ‘I see, I see…Well if you change your mind.’ Dom made a grotesque wink. ‘You know where we are. We’re here all week.’
‘Yeah…No…’ Ellie said, feeling a bit weirded out by it.
She quickened her pace. The shop opened in ten minutes and she was meant to be in twenty minutes before it opened. Even if they offered a million pounds, Ellie didn’t think she’d do it. With her wide head, receding chin and puffy lips she thought she gave off goldfish energy. She knew she wasn’t skinny and had a big arse, which her black work trousers were only partly successful at hiding – bald she’d just look fat.
Ahead, at the end of the mall she saw the shop and the shutters were already going up.
‘Shit.’ She said to herself.
Her manager, and sour faced old woman named Angie was standing by the door, looking at Ellie over the top of her glasses.
‘Late again Ellie…’ Her tone was both warning and disappointed.
‘Sorry, I was looking at that thing set up near Costa, they’re offering people money to -’
‘I offer you money to work.’ Angie didn’t let her finish. ‘Go on, get clocked in.’
Ellie slipped past her, and into the fluorescent tube lit world of the shop. It smelt of new fabric, and cheap shoe rubber.
Her heels squeaked on the shiny hard floor as she went to the door with a “Staff Only” sign on it at the back of the store to clock in.
As she was going in, Rachel, her favorite co-worker was coming out.
Older than Ellie at 32, she had the same build as Ellie but her big bust made her look curvy instead of fat.
Pretty, black and with her natural afro hair in three buns – one in the centre of her head the 2 on the sides, she looked more like she’d be modelling clothes than selling them.
‘You’re late.’ Rachel said it more as a statement than a complaint. ‘Everything good?’
‘Yeah, fine.’ Ellie squeezed past her as Rachel held the door for her.
‘You gotta be careful or they’ll write you up…’
‘Yeah, I know.’ Ellie was annoyed now. ‘Angies just been moaning at me about it.’
‘Well don’t be late then.’ Rachel playfully cocked her head to one side, still propping the door open.
‘I don’t mean to keep being late.’ Ellie tapped her card against the machine which beeped, confirming her (late) clock in then followed Rachel onto the shop floor.
‘Girl, I’ve got two kids to take to school, if I can be on time, so can you.’ Rachel reached behind and prodded Ellie on her shoulder. ‘OK, you missed the morning’s meeting, so I’ll fill you in. Me and you are in seasonal wear, getting everything back in order and tidying. When that’s done we’re stock filling.’
‘I’ll take that. Better than being on tills.’
‘Amen to that.’ Rachel started by sorting out the swim wear section, Ellie took the novelty graphic tees which was behind where Rachel was.
‘By the way, Rach. Did you see that weird thing near Starbucks?’
‘What weird thing near Starbucks?’
‘They’ve got this stall set up.’ Ellie folded a t-shirt along the creases someone else had already ruined. ‘Offering girls money to shave their heads.’
Rachel looked up from a rail of bikinis. ‘Sorry…what?’
‘Exactly that. Proper barber chair, clippers, razors, the lot.’
Rachel laughed. ‘No they haven’t.’
‘I swear. Some bloke with frosted tips about Dad’s age. Looked like he’d been trapped in 2004.’
Rachel snorted. ‘How much?’
‘I didn’t ask.’
‘You didn’t ask?’ Rachel looked genuinely disappointed. ‘Ellie, if somebody’s offering money, the first question is always “how much?”’
‘I was more concerned with why.’
Rachel shrugged. ‘Everything’s expensive. People’ll do anything for cash now.’
‘Not shave their heads.’
Rachel gave her a look. ‘You’d be surprised.’
Ellie shoved another novelty t-shirt onto the shelf. ‘I wouldn’t. Not if you’ve got nice hair.’
Rachel instinctively touched one of the buns on top of her head. ‘Mm.’
There was just enough hesitation for Ellie to notice. ‘You wouldn’t…would you?’
Rachel smiled without answering.
‘Rachel?’
‘Depends.’
‘On what?’
‘How much they’re paying.’
Ellie stared at her. ‘You’re joking.’
‘Am I?’ She carried on hanging swimsuits as though they’d been discussing the weather. ‘Look, if somebody offered me…I dunno…five grand?’
‘You’d actually do it?’
Rachel paused. ‘I mean…hair grows back.’
‘Eventually.’
Ellie couldn’t believe the conversation they were having. ‘You’d look ridiculous.’
Rachel laughed. ‘Probably.’
‘And your kids?’
‘They’d roast me for about three weeks, then they’d get bored.’
Ellie shook her head. ‘No chance I’d do it. I’d rather struggle.’
Rachel glanced over her shoulder. ‘Easy to say until your electric bill lands.’
That knocked a little of the certainty out of Ellie.
She thought about the envelope still sitting unopened on the kitchen table. Gas. She already knew it’d be bad. Her rent had gone up again in April. Her car insurance renewal was due next month. The overdraft she’d promised herself she’d stop using had quietly become something she relied on.
She hated checking her banking app before buying lunch and pretending she wasn’t hungry because she’d “already eaten.”
Still…
She reached up and gathered her blonde hair over one shoulder.
It had taken years to get it this long.
No amount of money…Well…Almost no amount.
Rachel caught her doing it. ‘See?’
‘I was not considering it.’
‘Course you weren’t.’
‘I wasn’t.’
‘Mm-hmm.’
Ellie let her hair fall back down. ‘How much do you reckon they’re offering?’
Rachel grinned. ‘There it is.’
‘I’m just curious.’
‘Course you are.’
Before Ellie could defend herself, Angie appeared from nowhere. ‘Less chatting, more working, please girls.’
Both women jumped.
‘Sorry,’ they muttered together.
Angie eyed them suspiciously before marching away towards the tills.
Rachel waited until she was out of earshot. ‘Tell you what.’
‘What?’
‘Lunch break.’
‘What about it?’ Ellie asked, but she already knew what was coming.
‘Let’s go see.’
Ellie’s stomach fluttered. ‘I don’t want to sit in the chair.’
‘I didn’t say you had to.’
‘I’m definitely not shaving my head.’
Rachel smirked. ‘Nobody said you were. Chill, Ells’.’
At 9am, the doors opened and by 9:30 people were gently trickling in. Between them, they had done seasonal by 9:45 and were ready to slip out the back where at least half of their time in the warehouse would be spent talking and not doing any actual work.
The only other person in there was a maintenance guy working on the goods lift, so nobody there to tell on them.
Rachel pulled out a few clothes rails and left them in the centre of the room so it looked like they were doing work should anybody walk in.
The maintenance guy looked over his shoulder, and smiled before shaking his head. He knew their game.
‘Hey, Rach.’ Ellie sat on a cardboard box.
‘Hey, Ellie.’
‘No, come on I’m being serious.’
‘Ok…’
‘How do you actually think I would look bald?’
Rachel leaned against one of the clothes rails, folding her arms. ‘Honestly?’
‘Yeah.’ Ellie immediately regretted asking.
Rachel looked at her for a few seconds, properly looked. Not the quick glance people normally gave each other. Her eyes travelled over Ellie’s face, taking in her features. ‘You want the nice answer or the honest one?’
‘The honest one.’
‘You sure?’
‘Tell me!’
Rachel sighed. ‘I don’t think it’d suit you.’
Ellie nodded slowly. ‘Yeah…I thought that.’
‘You’ve got a soft face.’
‘That’s your polite way of saying fat.’
Rachel laughed. ‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You were thinking it.’
‘I wasn’t.’
Ellie raised an eyebrow.
Rachel smiled. ‘…Maybe a little.’
‘Thanks.’ Ellie rolled her eyes.
‘You asked.’ Rachel uncrossed her arms. ‘Look, your hair does a lot of work.’
‘Wow.’
‘No, listen.’
She stepped closer, using her hands as she talked. ‘You’ve got quite a round face. Your hair sort of frames it. Makes it look longer. Bald…’ She tilted her head. ‘It’d make everything more…there.’
‘There?’
‘Yeah, like, not soften your features as much, like everything would be more obvious.’
‘Great, so you’re saying my hair detracts from how ugly I really am.’
‘No, you’re putting words on my mouth.’ Rachel shrugged. ‘Look: most women wouldn’t suit being bald. So don’t worry about it.’
‘You would.’
Rachel barked a laugh. ‘Girl, no.’
‘Seriously.’
‘Nah.’
‘You’ve got one of those faces where you can pull anything off.’ Ellie said earnestly.
Rachel sucked her teeth. ‘You’re only saying that because I’m Black.’
Ellie frowned. ‘What?’
‘Every white girl thinks Black women magically suit having no hair.’
Ellie opened her mouth. Closed it again.
Rachel grinned. ‘See?’
‘I…that’s not…’
‘I’m messing with you.’
Ellie threw a balled-up price tag at her. ‘Idiot.’
Rachel laughed again, batting it away. ‘Truth is, I don’t know. Never seen my head.’
‘Most girls have never seen their head.’
The maintenance man started an electric drill on the lift. The whine echoed around the warehouse before stopping just as suddenly.
Ellie looked down at the concrete floor. ‘I think I’d cry.’ She pictured the plastic chair. The waiting clippers. Dom with his awful frosted tips smirking like a twat.
Then she imagined handfuls of blonde hair sliding down the cape into her lap.
She felt a strange knot in her stomach. ‘I suppose…if I ever got to the point where I needed the money that badly…I’d probably spend the whole time thinking, “What am I doing?”‘
Rachel nodded. ‘That’s probably why they’re here.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Shopping centre.’ Rachel gestured vaguely towards the wall, as though she could point through it. ‘People come in to spend money they haven’t really got. Then they walk past a bloke offering them cash for something that grows back.’ She shrugged. ‘He’s betting somebody’s desperate enough.’
Ellie hated how much sense that made.
Lunch came with them avoiding work for most of the early part of their shift. They clocked off together, and Rachel raised an eyebrow almost suggestively. ‘Shall we…?’
‘Rachel, I’m not shaving my head.’
‘The Lady doth protest too much.’
‘What?’
‘I can tell you didn’t study literature at college.’ Rachel. ‘Lets find out how much they’re offering, you can always so no.’
‘Rachel, it would have to be a lot of money. I mean, A LOT.’
‘Well that’s fine. Just tell them to sod off if they offer fifty quid,’ she said as they walked back onto the shop floor. ‘We need to go that way anyway to get lunch.’
They slipped out, crossed the mall and almost immediately saw evidence that people were taking Dom and Jade up on their offer.
A woman, maybe in her 50s was walking towards them.
Her head had been shaved clean, to the skin. There was a contrast between her scalp and face. She was looking into her front facing camera as she walked, and didn’t look convinced.
Ellie and Rachel exchanged wide eyed looks as they walked into the main square.
A small crowd had gathered in a lose semi-circle, some shoppers slowing as they passed before either wondering on or stopping to watch.
Taking the chair was a brunette with hair past her bra strap. She was fairly pretty, and didn’t look like the type of girl who would willingly shave her head, and had “Christian Girl Autumn” vibes.
Ellie and Rachel became the latest to join the crowd.
I was Dom who picked the clippers up, as Jade spoke into a PA system.
‘What’s your name, love?’ She pushed a mic into the brunette’s face.
‘Holly.’
‘How old are you Holly?’
Dom meanwhile was playing up to the audience, making evil faces as he messed with Holly’s hair.
‘29.’ Holly was trying to ignore him.
‘Did you think you’d be shaving your head when you woke up this morning, Holly?’ Jade asked.
‘No. Never. I never thought I would shave my head at all to be honest.’
‘What you gonna spend the money on?’
Holly sighed into the mic. ‘Driving lessons.’
‘Hey, that’s a great use of the head shave money!’ Jade chirped. ‘OK, Dom, take it away.’
He made an obviously put on, hammy evil laugh before sending the clippers straight down the middle of Holly’s head.
‘Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.’ She was bobbing her knee up and down and had her eyes shut as the clippers cleared a white path in her hair.
Even though it wasn’t her hair, Ellie felt her guts twist. That was years worth of growth being sent to the floor.
By the time it was all on the floor, Holly’s eyes were wet and she was swallowing hard. The pile of hair on the floor was huge.
‘I love this bit!’ Dom shook up the can of shaving cream before smearing it all over Holly’s head.
Rachel was biting her nails, but wasn’t able to look away.
‘I’m not even the one having my head shaved and I feel like I’m going to pass out.’ Ellie said.
‘Uh huh.’ Rachel was transfixed at the sight in front of them.
Dom worked quickly as he shaved her head with a bic taken from a big bag of them on the table.
He went once with the grain, binned the razor, then over her again for a second against the grain with a fresh one.
Holly had a facial expression which was disgusted, worried and shocked all at once. Her wet scalp was gleaming under the mall lights, going slightly pink with irritation.
Ellie guessed skin that had never been shaved, hidden under mountains of soft hair forever would get angry fast at being shaved like that.
‘All done!’ Dom said proudly.
Holly got up, and the audience started to clap. Rachel joined in too, but Ellie was too stunned. How could a woman just…Do that?
Holly’s cheeks were going red as she paused to pose for the audience. Unprompted she did a 360c twirl, and her face was bright red by the time she faced the crowd again.
Ellie didn’t think it was Holly’s best look. It made her nose look bigger and now her protruding ears stuck out like jug handles.
There was a brief conversation between Holly and Jade. An envelope was handed to her and she left, head ducked down, rubbing it as she walked away to another applause.
‘Ok, ok,’ Dom said into the mic. ‘Who’s next?’
‘Me!’ A voice came back instantly. A girl, a kid, wearing a Harry Potter top ran towards the chair. She had mousy brown hair in a bob with bangs.
‘Woah, OK.’ Dom took a step back.
She jumped up into the chair.
‘Does your Mum know you’re doing this?’
‘She does.’ Said a woman in her 40s in the crowd, who was videoing the event with her phone. ‘And yes, I think she’s insane.’
Rachel gawped. ‘There’s no way I’d let my girls do that, or even my boy.’
Dom crouched down so he was eye level with her. ‘You sure? You’re not gonna regret this later?’
‘No.’ She stook her chin up, defiant.
‘Well, OK. Mum? You sure?’
The woman nodded. ‘It’s up to her. If she regrets it…It’s a lesson.’
Dom laughed. ‘Oh, it’s a lesson, alright. Ok, let’s crack on. Jade.’ He passed the mic to her.
Jade took the microphone from Dom.
‘Right then, superstar.’ She smiled warmly at the girl. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Millie.’
‘And how old are you, Millie?’
‘Ten.’
There was an audible murmur from the crowd.
‘Ten years old.’ Jade repeated into the microphone. ‘Give her a big round of applause for being the bravest person we’ve had up here today!’
The crowd obliged.
Millie grinned from ear to ear.
‘Now then.’ Jade crouched beside the chair. ‘You’re absolutely sure about this?’
‘Yep.’
‘Nobody’s making you?’
‘No.’
‘You can change your mind right now if you want.’
Millie looked almost offended. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘Fair enough.’ Jade stood up. ‘Dom, do your thing.’
‘Right.’ He rubbed his hands together dramatically. ‘Let’s get rid of this lot.’ He gently gathered the little girl’s bob into one hand.
Ellie heard Rachel suck in a breath beside her. ‘She’s actually doing it…’
The clippers buzzed into life. Millie flinched slightly at the sound.
‘Sure?’ Dom asked.
‘Sure that you’re sure?’
‘Yes.’
‘Sure that you’re sure that you’re sure?’
‘Yes!’ Millie sounded annoyed.
He rested the clippers against the middle of her forehead. Without any countdown he pushed them straight back. Her hair peeled away in one thick strip.
Millie blinked. ‘That feels weird.’
The crowd laughed.
Dom carried on methodically, guiding her head this way and that with a gentle hand.
Unlike Holly, there were no tears. No trembling or panicked breathing. Millie simply sat there chatting away while years of hair collected around her trainers.
‘I thought she’d cry,’ Rachel admitted quietly.
‘Me too,’ Ellie whispered. ‘I guess when you’re that young you’ve got all your years ahead of you to grow it back.’
Within minutes there was almost nothing left.
Dom switched the clippers off and brushed the loose stubble from Millie’s shoulders.
‘Last chance.’
She frowned. ‘For what?’
‘To stop before the razor.’
Millie shrugged. ‘You said bald.’
‘Fair enough.’ He covered her scalp in shaving foam, taking her from a full head of hair to a full head of shaving cream.
Millie giggled. ‘It actually feels nice.’
The audience laughed again.
Dom picked up a fresh disposable razor and, taking obvious care, slowly shaved away the remaining stubble. He worked in short strokes, wiping the blade clean after each pass before reaching for another razor to finish the job. When he was done he wiped the last traces of foam away with a towel.
‘There we are.’
Millie reached both hands onto the top of her head. Her eyes went wide. ‘It’s so smooth!’
The crowd burst into applause.
She hopped off the chair and ran straight over to her mum. ‘Feel it!’ Her mum laughed despite herself, rubbing a hand over the freshly shaved scalp. ‘Blimey…that is smooth.’ Millie wandered off still grinning, letting various members of her family feel her head.
Rachel folded her arms. ‘I genuinely can’t believe she sat through all that.’
‘She was braver than I would’ve been at ten,’ Ellie admitted. ‘Or twenty-two.’
Dom looked around theatrically, making pretend binoculars with his hands. ‘Right!’ he called into the microphone. ‘Who’s feeling inspired?’
Nobody moved. He scanned the faces in front of him before his eyes settled on Rachel and Ellie. Recognition spread across his face.
‘Ah…my blondie from this morning.’
Jade smiled as she saw her too.
‘You came back…And you brought a friend.’
Rachel laughed awkwardly. ‘Just watching.’
‘Course you are,’ Dom said. He rested one elbow on the barber’s chair.
‘Interesting though, isn’t it?’
Neither of them answered. He pointed towards Millie, who was still excitedly showing off her bald head a few yards away. ‘That little girl was ten years old.’
Rachel glanced across.
‘She was.’
‘Didn’t cry.’ Dom shot back.
‘No.’
‘Didn’t bottle it.’
Rachel smiled, now shifting her weight awkwardly between her feet. ‘No.’
Dom spread his hands. ‘So if a ten-year-old can be brave enough…’
He looked first at Rachel. Then at Ellie. ‘…what’s stopping two grown women?’
Ellie folded her arms tightly. ‘Common sense.’
The crowd chuckled.
Dom laughed. ‘Fair answer.’
He stepped closer, lowering his voice just enough that it felt more like a conversation than a sales pitch. ‘Go on then.’ He nodded towards the chair. ‘Let’s at least have a chat about what it’s worth.’
‘Oh man…I don’t know.’ Rachel enunciated her words, making them sound heavier.
‘Dom, I think she’s scared.’ Jade mockingly wrung her heads, and the audience backed her up by laughing.
I had the exact intended effect on Rachel. ‘Me? I’m not scared to sit in a chair! Come on, let’s talk.’
Ellie grabbed Rachel’s hand when she went to walk away. ‘Rach! Don’t be bullied.’
‘Nobody’s bullying me. Nobody’s allowed to bully me.’ She shook her hand free. ‘Let’s just have a chat about it, I’m curious.’
The audience applauded as Rachel took to the chair.
‘Woah, woah! A bit premature for that, I dunno if I’m doing it yet.’
There was a chat between her and Dom, but it wasn’t captured on the mic. He said something and she actually laughed.
He said something else she shook her head, and Ellie could make out her saying “No”. To Ellie, it was clear it was a series of offers.
A 3rd offer and she shook her head.
Then Dom was talking for longer, and Rachel’s face started to change.
Had she just been offered that five grand?
She was nodding, suddenly seeming serious.
Rachel put her head in her hands, and said something into them, which Rachel was pretty sure was “I can’t believe I’m doing this”.
She felt her own heartbeat quicken.
When she showed her face again, Dom offered her the Mic:
‘Alright, I’ll do it.’
There was another ripple of applause.
Ellie had a feeling she’d regret it immediately after. ‘Rachel…’
Rachel looked over at her and gave an uncertain smile. ‘It’s alright.’
She didn’t look alright. She looked like somebody trying very hard to convince themselves.
Jade clapped her hands together. ‘Fantastic! Give Rachel another round of applause!’
The crowd happily obliged.
Rachel laughed awkwardly. ‘Stop clapping, you’ll make me change my mind.’
‘Too late now,’ Dom joked. Or was it a joke? ‘I’ll leave this one to Jade.’
‘Cheers! Head back for me.’ Jade went straight in for the kill as Rachel sat a little stiffer than before. Jade grasped one of Rachel’s side buns then removed the first hair tie. The tightly gathered bun loosened immediately, springing outward as the dense coils relaxed. She repeated the process with the second, then the third at the crown. Freed from the ties, Rachel’s natural hair expanded into a rounded, lumpy, dense and springy.
There was another appreciative murmur from the crowd. Rachel instinctively reached up and touched it one last time.
‘Last chance,’ Jade said quietly.
Rachel closed her eyes for a second. ‘Just…get on with it.’
Jade picked up the clippers. Their buzz filled the little performance space.
She started at the front, easing the blades into the tightly coiled hair. The first pass left a narrow strip of close-cropped hair, the clipped curls tumbling onto Rachel’s lap, springy tufts. Unlike Holly’s long strands, Rachel’s hair dropped in fluffy clusters, bouncing as they landed.
Rachel’s shoulders tensed.
‘Ooh…Jesus Christ!’ She said when it was too late to back out.
‘You ok?’ Jade asked.
‘Yeah, yeah, I’d good…Just feels…wrong.’
Jade continued with calm, even strokes, working across the crown first making her look like a black Crusty The Clown before moving to the sides. More curls fell away, gathering in dark little piles around the chair.
Ellie couldn’t stop staring as everyy human emotion possible seemed to pass over Rachel’s face. Every so often she’d squeeze her eyes shut for a couple of seconds before opening them again.
‘You’re doing brilliantly,’ Jade said.
‘I don’t feel like I am.’
Within a few more minutes there was only a dark shadow of very short hair left in very tight coils, making patchy buzzcut. Jade switched the clippers off, brushing the last clumps of Rachel’s shoulders.
It was time to go smooth. Jade worked shaving cream over the close stubble until Rachel’s head was covered in a white layer.
‘That’s cold. Man, it feels weird.’
Using a fresh disposable razor, Jade shaved shaved Rachel’s head with smooth, deliberate strokes, wiping the blade frequently before changing to a new razor to finish against the grain, as she did with Millie. By the end, the remaining traces of stubble were gone, leaving behind a bald head with a slight shine to it as it dried under the mall lights.
She wiped away the last of the foam with a towel.
Rachel instinctively rubbed the top of her head. Her eyes widened.
‘…That is weird.’
Jade smiled. ‘Ready?’ She held up a hand mirror.
Rachel took it. For a second she simply stared. Her mouth fell open. She turned her head left. Then right. Then she burst into an incredulous laugh.
‘No way…’ She held the mirror closer. ‘That actually…that’s me?’ She kept looking. Then, despite herself, another laugh escaped. ‘I look like my Dad.’
The crowd laughed with her (or at her, Ellie wondered), the tension breaking. Rachel slowly rubbed her scalp again, feeling every contour.
Then she tilted the mirror, catching the overhead lights. ‘My scalp’s about three shades lighter than the rest of me.’
Jade smiled. ‘It hasn’t exactly seen much sunshine.’
Rachel shook her head in amazement, still unable to stop touching it. ‘I suppose not.’ She stood up, the last of the hair falling from her, looking once more into the mirror before lowering it. ‘I honestly can’t believe I’ve got no hair.’
Ellie realised she’d been holding her breath almost the entire time. Nobody in the crowd was leaving. They were still expecting another shave.
She hugged Rachel when she walked over to join her. She smelled faintly of mint from the shaving cream.
‘I’m mad, I’ve got to be mad.’ She said into Ellie’s shoulder.
‘I didn’t think you were actually going to do it!’
Ellie realised she’d been holding her breath almost the entire time. Nobody in the crowd was leaving. If anything, more people had stopped.
‘I didn’t think you were actually going to do it.’ Ellie said as they broke off the hug. ‘Neither did I.’
Rachel stepped back, still absently rubbing the smooth top of her head every few seconds, as though she couldn’t quite believe what her hand was telling her. ‘It’s…’ She searched for the word. ‘It’s not as horrible as I thought it’d feel.’
Ellie looked at her friend. She looked completely different. Not ugly. Not pretty either. Just…different. Like somebody had pressed the wrong button on a character creator.
Rachel caught Ellie staring. ‘Go on.’
‘What?’
‘Say it.’
‘I wasn’t going to.’
‘I know what face you’re pulling.’
Ellie smiled awkwardly. ‘It’s just weird.’
‘I know.’ Rachel laughed. ‘Trust me, I know I look weird right now.’
Dom wandered back over, microphone now hanging at his side. ‘Well done. Worth it?’
She thought for a second. ‘Ask me tomorrow.’
That got another laugh from the crowd.
Dom’s attention drifted to Ellie. ‘So.’
Ellie’s stomach tightened.
‘No.’
‘I haven’t even asked the question.’
‘I know what the question is.’
‘Alright,’ He grinned. ‘But you must have a number in mind you’d do it for?’
‘I don’t.’ She replied, a little too quickly.
‘Everybody’s got a number. C’mon, get yourself in the chair. At least get a feel for it.’ Ellie wasn’t considering it at this stage…Well, OK…Maybe a bit. But she followed him there anyway.
On the floor she could see the candy-floss esque chunks from Rachel scattered over Millie and Holly’s hair.
‘So what would you say to five hundred pounds?’
Ellie thought Dom had to be joking. ‘No way!’
‘A grand?’
‘No.’
‘Fifteen hundred?’
‘I’m shaving off my hair for fifteen hundred pounds. That’s nothing.’
‘We got a tough negotiator, Jade.’ Dom looked pained. ‘Let’s say we up it to massive…Three thousand pounds.’
Ellie’s first thought was to reject it. Then she thought of the the bills. The overdraft. The insurance renewal. The rent.
Dom noticed the hesitation. ‘Have we found our price?’
‘I’m sorry…But I love my hair too much.’
‘I don’t blame you.’ Jade added. ‘It is gorgeous hair.’
‘Thanks.’ Ellie said, even the compliment seemed a bit empty given what they wanted to do to her.
She imagined returning from her lunch break and dealing with Angie, the customers and all the looks and questions that would go with it.
That was before she even went to see her Mum for tea that night.
What the hell was her little sister going to say?
And she just knew there would be photos online, everyone seeing her bald and knowing how desperate she was.
She imagined catching sight of herself in every mirror for the next six months. Ellie wrapped both arms around herself.
‘I’d look awful.’
Dom didn’t contradict her. ‘Hair does grow back.’
‘Yeah, in years.’ She swallowed. ‘People are going to laugh at me and ask if I’m going to a Pitball concert.’
‘I can see that.’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Now, now.’ Said Dom. ‘Ellie, this is our final offer. Three and a half thousand.’ She looked at Rachel, appealing for support.
She walked over and joined her, kneeling next to the chair.
‘Rach’, do you regret it?’ She asked her. ‘Be honest.’
Rachel didn’t answer immediately.
Instead she reached up and rubbed her newly-shaved scalp again before smiling. ‘A little bit, yeah. But then I remember the money. And my hair is 4c curls, I loose like 85% of the length because of that. You don’t have that problem.’ Rachel moved in closer. ‘If you do it…’ She smiled, a little sadly. ‘…at least I won’t be the only bald one at work.’
Ellie looked at her friend’s smooth head which was starting to dry from the wet shave.
The thought landed differently now. It would be a little bit getting in trouble together with your mate at school.
‘We’ll look silly together.’ Rachel added.
Ellie laughed a nervous, breathless laugh then closed her eyes. Ellie closed her eyes. She saw the unopened bills on the kitchen table and her bank balance which started with a minus sign. Then she opened them again.
‘I hate this.’
‘I know,’ Rachel said quietly.
‘I absolutely hate this.’ She took one slow breath and then another. Finally, barely above a whisper, she said, ‘…Alright.’ Even as the word left her mouth, she wondered if she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.
The crowd treated them to an applause, and a few camera phones started to record the imminent shearing.
‘Ok! Alright!’ Dom sounded pumped, and Ellie half expected him to start beating his chest. ‘Ladies and gentleman, we’re about to make another lovely young lady bald!’
As she put her head in her hands, Rachel was slapping her back and she heard Dom’s voice again: ‘Jade, do you want to do the honours?’
‘Oh why not! Not gonna lie hun, this looks like a fun head to shave.’ There was a click and Ellie heard the clippers alarmingly close to her ear. With her head still in her hands, she felt the clippers graze against the bare skin of her forehead because Jade pushed them back, right down the middle where her part was.
The bare bit of skin tingled as she felt the air on it for the first time in her life.
Now the line had been crossed, she took her hands from her face and she saw Jade standing back with the clippers in her hand, like an artist taking a step back to admire their work as they held the paintbrush.
‘You alright?’
‘I…’ Her voice caught in her throat. ‘I think so.’ She wasn’t sure she believed herself, as she reached up and touched the buzzed bit of her head. ‘Oh fffuck.’
Behind her she heard Rachel. ‘Now going back now.’ She said with a cackle.
‘That is certainly true.’ Dom said. The next few minutes passed in a blur. Ellie found herself focusing on everything except what was happening.
The echo of voices from the coffee shop opposite. A toddler crying somewhere behind the crowd. The smell of pretzels drifting through the shopping centre.
But occasionally it became impossible to disassociate. She saw the sheets of blonde hair landing on her legs, or on the floor. She caught wafts of her own shampoo as it fell.
The brand was Aussie and it smelled of peaches. If she’d known she was going to get the lot shaved off she wouldn’t have bothered with it.
Ellie thought of the bottle in the bathroom waiting for her.
At least Jade had nice, pleasant smelling hair to shave off she thought, bitterly.
Another jolt back to reality was Jade sent the clippers up her cheek to shave around her ears, making her suddenly aware of having ears.
Jade pushed her head down, and Ellie felt herself make an unflattering double chin as Jade sent the clippers up the back of her head, sending hair, which was until that point, untouched by the clippers on the floor with the rest.
With her head down she was forced to see the pile on the floor. Long sections kept being adding to it as Jade kept on shaving it.
Her chest tightened. Ellie remembered being fifteen and deciding she wanted to grow her hair long. She hadn’t had it shorter than her elbows since then. And now it was going in just a few minutes.
She swallowed hard.
‘I really hope this is gonna be worth it.’ Ellie said as Jade tilted her head back up to make the finishing strokes.
The last bit of hair, a thing little strand by her left ear was the last to go. It floated down sadly.
She was treated to another applause but wasn’t in a celebratory mood.
Nothing could compare her for the weirdness of what came next.
The feeling of shaving cream on her head was one of the weirdest feelings she’d ever felt, and she found herself cringing and tensing up and Jade’s hand slipped around her head.
Then came the Bic razor. That was something which up until that moment had been reserved for legs, pits and fanny.
She wondered how stupid she looked as Jade dragged it across her head.
Like all the others she got it with the grain then against.
By the time her head was being towelled off, the fibres scratchy and irritating on her freshly shaved pate, most of the audience had walked off – she was no longer interesting to them.
Only a few diehards with their camera phones remained.
It felt raw, each follicle slightly painful as she felt the skin start to tighten. Of course the skin on her scalp didn’t like it.
A women’s head wasn’t meant to be shaved, she thought.
‘How do I look Rach’?’
‘Well, you don’t look like an Oreo, so you’re doing better than me.’
That made Ellie snort a laugh.
‘Ready?’ Jade was standing in front of her with the mirror.
Ellie swallowed. ‘Oh God. Ok. Let me see.’
Jade turned it around, and Ellie gasped, shielding her eyes with her forearm and looking away.
She collapsed into tears.
The girl she’d been since about 15 was erased.
Rachel rubbed her shoulders. ‘Ells’, you look great.’
‘No I don’t.’ She grizzled. ‘I look like Thomas the fucking Tank Engine. This big, round, pale..thing.’
‘Do, do, do, do -’ Dom hummed the Thomas The Tank engine theme and time the dropping of the envelope on her her lap with the ‘Dum!’
She wiped away a tear with the heel of her hand. That made her feel a tiny bit better.
‘Give her a round of applause everybody!’ Dom shouted. ‘This was tough on her, but she did it.’
Ellie made herself look at the crowd, wet-eyed and feeling stupid as they clapped for her. She stood up, brushing the the last bits of hair from her trousers. The blonde stood out on the black fabric.
‘Seriously, well done.’ Dom said as the crowd began to disperse. He shook both of their hands as Jade got to work sweeping the massive pile of hair up. ‘Thanks ladies, it’s been a pleasure. Take care.’
Ellie felt like she was in a dream as she walked away. She reached up and touched her bald head. The skin was soft and moist still and felt strangely waxy. That felt too real to be in a dream.
Before they rounded the corner, Ellie turned to look at the pile of hair, catching one last look at her blonde locks before they went into a bin bag which Holly, Millie and Rachel’s.
‘Bye hair.’ Rachel said, waving. ‘I’m gonna miss ya.’ She seemed to be taking it a lot better than Ellie who was still wiping away her tears.
‘How are you not crying?’ Ellie searched in her pockets for a tissue.
‘Ahh, you toughen up as you get older.’ She lightly slapped Ellie’s bald head, just hard enough for it to make a sound.
‘Oww!’
‘Come on baldie, let’s get back to work.’ Rachel teased as they neared the shop.
‘Don’t call me baldie.’
Then, with a glint in her eyes Rachel said: ‘Only a baldie can call another baldie a baldie.’
