False Advertising

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A newly created gameshow put an ad out online and in the paper, looking for women in the area with the longest hair.  The gameshow was called Extreme Lengths and at first glance it seemed to be about a contest for who had the longest hair. However, the handful of girls that were to show up and get signed onto the live show were about to find out just how wrong their assumptions were.

Slicer, a company that creates haircutting / styling equipment, was sponsoring the show. They were using Extreme Lengths to showcase their newest invention : The Clipper Dome! It was an automatic styling station, that required no operator and worked quickly and precisely! It was also quite compact, meaning that they could be placed in many different places! This machine was a modified version, and was connected to a large wheel that had a cloth draped over it. The machine would read the outcome of the wheel, and once the person was seated they would be given that selected style! It also had restraints, for if the participant was less than willing to submit to a little trim.

Now, you may be thinking ; what if the girls just decide to leave? Well, there is a might fine punishment for that. In the large group of waivers the girls signed, one stated that if they refused to submit to the wheel, their head would be shaven, and permanent remove cream would be added. The girls, being mostly ditzy, skimmed right over this clause! The girls that decide to play the game however, get a check for $10,000. This part they definitely caught!

Now, to the contestants! There is Jennifer, with thigh length red hair! It has been straightened, and because of this it looks much thicker than a normal head of hair! Next is Brittani, with butt length platinum blonde tresses! Third, there is Emma. Her hair was the best of the bunch, no questions asked! Her auburn mane was floor length, but it was barely tamed into a huge bun! The bun was at least the size of a basket ball! She has blunt cut bangs, which accents her glasses and face nicely. Fourth is Sydnie, and her black mane of hair is super thick, but only reaches her mid back. Finally, there is April. Her deep brown hair reaches her knees, but shows signs of thinning at the very ends. Likely she’s overdue for a trim!

When it was time to begin the cutting segment, Brittani bolted for the door! She was quickly grabbed by two guards, and shown the waiver she signed. She still refused to play the game! Brittani was loaded into the Clipper Dome, and her blonde mane was obliterated! Hair went in all directions, in small clippings and large chunks! She cried and moaned as her prized mane was ruined, and she exited the stage with a lot less hair than when she entered!

The host pulled the curtain off of the wheel, and it showed 12 sections, numbered from one to twelve. There were twelve boxes on a screen next the the Clipper Dome numbered the same way. Once the machine landed on a number, an the name of the cut was shown, along with an example.

Jennifer was up first. She hesitantly spun the wheel, and was noticeably distressed about the whole situation. It lands on four, and the cut she was to receive is a bowl cut! She began to cry as she sat down in the chair, and screamed no as it got to work. Her thigh length mane stood no chance against the dome, and her hair formed a thick pile on the floor around her as it was cropped to a short bowl cut. Her hair rested right above her ears! A vacuum attachment hooked to the dome quickly sucked up her shorn mane, and arranged it into a ponytail. The host handed it to her, and called April up to the wheel.

April didn’t seem very nervous, and spun the wheel as hard as she could. Her hair swished back and forth as the wheel slowed to a stop, landing on seven. Her cut ended up being a half shaved head. One side of her head was to be shaven, and the other side cut into a blunt chin length bob, with blunt bangs. April strutted up the the chair, and took a seat. The Clipper Dome used the vacuum attachment to fix her hair into a ponytail, and then chopped it off. It then went down the center of her head with the clipper attachment, and continued until the entire left side of her head was stubble. The host then handed her her severed ponytail, and April took a seat next to Jennifer.

Sydnie was up next, and she seemed quite afraid of losing her thick mid back mane of black silk. She spun the wheel regardless knowing the consequences. The wheel landed on nine, which means Sydnie is receiving a buzzcut. She began to freak out in the chair, so the restraints were activated. The clippers fired up, and buzzed her head in record time! The hair was collected once again, but this time it was fired into the air, creating a hair confetti! She moped to sit with the other girls, while Emma walked up the the wheel.

Everyone wanted her to release her bun before spinning the wheel, but she decided not to. She spun it and it landed on one. This turned out to be a one inch trim! She sighed in relief, and rushed to the chair. She didn’t notice the screen flickering and seemingly shorting out, however. As soon a she sat down, the restraints locked her in place! Her massive basketball sized bun was scanned, and determined to be much too long for the Clipper Domes liking. She screamed as an arm attachment clasp her bun, and a huge clipper attachment removed it from her head. She screamed and fought against the restraints as much as she could, before giving up and bursting into tears. Another arm joined the first one, and began undoing her massive bun! It quickly fell apart, and they dropped the four meters of hair into Emma’s lap. She instantly began to cry again, as a helmet shaped dome was put on her head. A loud buzzing noise was heard, and then the restraints released her as the dome retreated.

Emma was left with a lip length blunt bob. Her nape had been shaven, and it was a huge contrast the the actual pile of hair that was left on the floor. The girls were paid for their participation, and the show was ended.


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