Family Haircuts for Family Vacations

“Mom, why??” Caleb yelled as his mother dragged him out of the car in the salon’s parking lot. “I told you,” Cathie said, “we’re going to be camping for two weeks and it’ll be easier if you and your sister get haircuts. We don’t need greasy hair as one more thing to worry about in the mountains.” Caleb stopped yelling but continued silently seething. He begged his mom to let him grow his hair out years ago. Now his chestnut locks swung past his shoulders and he wasn’t sure if he or his girlfriend loved it more. Worst of all, he knew this wasn’t his mom’s idea. This was all Jake’s fault, his mother’s new boyfriend. As a career military man he was always pestering Caleb about his hair. Now he’d finally won.

“You don’t see your sister complaining, do you?” Cathie asked her eldest.

Looking at his sister, Caleb could see she was smiling. At seven-years-old, Lucy couldn’t wait for their camping trip. The idea of losing much of her waist-length hair didn’t bother her in the least. All she could think about was the number of animals they might see in their travels.

But Caleb was sixteen. He had a life, a girlfriend, an identity of his own. His hair mattered to him and he hated the idea that it was to be cut without his consent.

Cathie entered the salon, Lucy bouncing behind her and Caleb scowling behind his sister. He tossed himself down in the waiting area with a “Hmmph,” as Cathie and Lucy walked up to the reception desk.

“Hi Caitlyn,” Cathie said as she greeted the woman who’d been cutting her family’s hair for years, “are you ready for us?”

“I sure am,” Caitlyn said as she brushed her red bob back behind her ears. “Who’s going first today?”

“Me!” Lucy said as she jumped up into the chair. “We’re getting haircuts before we go camping and I hope we see a turtle and squirrels. Maybe even a bear!”

“Well that sounds fun!” Caitlyn said as she put the white camp around Lucy, pulled her dirty blonde hair out from under it, and pumped the salon chair up to a workable height. “So what’s the plan? Our usual two inch trim?” she asked, turning to Cathie.

“No,” Cathie said, “we’re going shorter. Much shorter. We’ll be hiking and camping, living out of a tent and bathing in streams for weeks. Jake made the case that shorter hair would make everything easier. Plus it will be a lot cooler for the kids, too.”

“So how short are we talking?” Caitlyn asked gesturing to Lucy’s hair. “Mid-back? Shoulder-length? A bob?”

With certainty Cathie said, “A buzz cut, please. A #2 on the top. Down to the skin on the sides and back.”

“What?! Really??” Caitlyn gasped.

“Yes,” Cathie said. “We’ve talked about it a lot and that’s what we’re doing.”

“That’s short,” Caitlyn said.

“Remember the first time I came to you?” Cathie asked. “My hair hung in one length to my waist. Despite my asking for a trim, you chopped off eight inches so it was up to my shoulder blades and then you sliced in layers. When I started yelling at you after that first cut, you asked me to trust you. So I did. And I’ve been wearing my hair in these long layers ever since. Short hair can be fun, too.”

“Of course,” Caitlyn agreed, “but this is short-short. Are you sure?”

“Do you think it will suit her?” Cathie asked.

“Yes, it’ll look cute on Lucy. But very few girls – let alone girls her age – have buzz cuts,” Caitlyn countered.

“By the time school rolls around it’ll have grown out to a short little pixie. Just buzz it,” Cathie said.

“Alright,” Caitlyn said, picking up her clippers and placing the #2 guard on them, “you ready for this, Lucy?”

Lucy’s “Yes!” was as loud as it was enthusiastic and she giggled the entire time Caitlyn ran the clippers over hear head. Mounds of fairy tale princess hair fell to the floor and, once the clippers were back on the counter, Lucy jumped up, eager to play with her hair…or lack thereof. She couldn’t stop smiling as she rubbed her hands over the soft bristles now covering her head. “This is soooooo cool,” she beamed.

“You’re next,” Cathie said to her son. His anger was evident as Caleb stomped over his sister’s Rapunzel-tresses covering the floor around Caitlyn’s chair.

“So what are we doing for you?” she asked as he settled into the chair with a grunt.

“The same as his sister,” Cathie said without waiting for Caleb to respond.

“Really? You love your hair, Caleb. Plus, you don’t look half as excited as your sister was,” Caitlyn noted.

“Well it doesn’t fucking matter what I want, does it?” he snorted.

“Caleb! Language!” his mother snapped. “We’re taking a family vacation so we’re getting family haircuts. It’s one haircut in your life. Hair grows. It’s not too much to ask.”

“It wasn’t much of a family decision was it, Mom?” Caleb shot back.

“Trust me,” Caitlyn said as she wrapped the cape around Caleb. “I know you love your long hair but you’ve got a perfect face for a cut like this. And I promise your girlfriend is gonna love petting your head once she feels it. Girls love guys with buzz cuts. I know. This is what I do.”

Caleb took little solace in Caitlyn’s promise as she began to run her merciless clippers through his long hair. He was the only guy with long hair in his class. He loved it. Everyone loved it…and now this.

The buzzing was relentless as his long locks slide down the sides of his head, off his shoulders, and into his lap or down the back of his head to land on the floor. His chestnut waves mingled with his sister’s dirty blonde hair until he, too, was buzzed clean – a #2 on top, faded down to skin on the sides.

“See?” Caitlyn asked brushing little hairs from his head, neck, and face. “It’s a different sort of cool but your girlfriend will still love it.”

“Whatever…” Caleb muttered as she stomped back to his seat in the waiting area, dropping down next to Lucy who still hadn’t taken her hands off her head nor stopped giggling while rubbing her hair.

“Alright mom,” Caitlyn said turning to Cathie, “one more buzz cut before you hit the road?”

“Yeah, Mom!” Lucy said. “You’ll look so cool!”

“Oh no,” Cathie said waving away the suggestion as she sat in Caitlyn’s chair. “It’s good for the kids and it’ll make travelling so much easier, as Jake said. But I love my hair – and he does, too. I’ll just pull mine back or wear it up.”

Caleb just snorted from his chair, where he sat doing his best not to look in any of the salon’s mirrors to avoid seeing the cruel buzzed remains of his former long hair.

“Well,” Caitlyn said as she fastened the cape around Cathie’s neck and pulled her chocolate waves free to spill down her shoulders, “that hardly seems right.”

Before Cathie could ask what she meant, Caitlyn had inserted a wide comb into the hair on top of Cathie’s head, lifted the comb little more than an inch, and ran the bare-bladed clippers over it. Fourteen inch lengths of Cathie’s hair fell down either side of her face as she let out a shout.

“What the fuck are you doing?!!” Cathie screamed.

“Language,” Caleb said under his breath, his eyes now glued to his mom’s unexpected transformation.

“I’m cutting your hair,” Caitlyn explained matter of factly, as though she were telling Cathie the weather or the time. “Like your kids, you have the right face to wear super short hair. Like your kids, you’ll look really cute with this haircut. And like your kids, it’s time for you to chop all this off. If it’ll be a problem for them on vacation, it will be for you, too. Plus, there’s little use debating it now.” As she said this, Caitlyn ruffled the wildly short strands of hair now standing up in shock on the front of Cathie’s head. “I was right when I cut your waist-length hair to your shoulder blades before and I’m right now.”

With that, Caitlyn inserted her wide, flat comb into the hair on top of Cathie’s head, lifted, and turned her clippers on once more.

POP. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Cathie couldn’t believe what was happening. She noted the clippers made an odd bzzzzzzttttt sound as they ran across the plastic teeth of the comb, though she noted this like it was happening to someone else and it wasn’t her own hair – her gorgeous, precious hair! – being shaved from her head.

Having her hair cut to her shoulder blades by Caitlyn years ago was the shortest Cathie had ever worn it. She wanted to scream as she saw each long lock buzzed off. She wanted to berate Caitlyn. As it was, she was struggling not to cry. She never wanted short hair. She hated short hair.

But Cathie noted her kids’ reactions. There was a smug smile on Caleb’s face, watching his mom as he absentmindedly rubbed his own hair. But Lucy was nervous. One hand was still on her freshly buzzed head but her enthusiasm was gone. How could Cathie be furious with Caitlyn for destroying her hair when she’d just asked for her daughter to be buzzed? She bit her lip and vowed not to cry until she was alone.

“I…alright, I guess this will be fun,” Cathie said weakly as Caitlyn kept running her clippers over her comb. Cathie winced with each lock that fell away. Caleb chuckled to himself. But Lucy relaxed again, smiling as she went back to rubbing her own dirty blonde buzz cut.

Soon all the hair on top of Cathie’s head was standing up, shorn little more than an inch from her head.

“Now this is the really fun part,” Caitlyn said. “You’re going to love how this feels, trust me. I’ve been buzzing most of my sister’s head ever since she had her first baby and it’s great.”

It took all of Cathie’s self-control not to vomit as the clippers’ bare blades made contact with her right temple and slid up into her beautiful hair leaving stark white skin in their wake. She couldn’t believe how effortless it seemed. She loved her hair. It was her favorite feature. It was the reason she found herself beautiful. And after each casual buzzing sweep up the side of her head, Caitlyn would pull the clippers away and a lifetime’s worth of Cathie’s love, growth, and identity would fall away like nothing.

Cathie wasn’t sure which was worse, feeling her hair land on her shoulder and slide into her lap or hearing the thump as it feel to the floor.

The humming of those dreadful clippers was relentless. It felt like Caitlyn had been cutting forever but Cathie could see – her horror kept her gaze locked on the mirror – only the right side of her head had been stripped bare.

“Head down now,” Caitlyn directed. As Cathie bent her chin to her chest she could feel Caitlyn lift the long hair at the nape of her neck and slide the clippers up into it, severing the longest hair on her head before dropping it to the floor like nothing.

But it’s not nothing, Cathie cried internally, it’s everything. My hair is everything to me.

Cathie’s control wavered for a moment as Caitlyn buzzed away the last long length of hair at her left temple and a few tears finally fell from her eyes.

“Mom! You look so cool!” Lucy cheered, jumping up from her seat and clapping her hands! “Can I feel it?!!”

Without waiting for a reply Lucy darted across the salon and began vigorously rubbing her mother’s buzzed head. Cathie winced with each brush of her daughter’s hand though she did her best to keep the anger and heartbreak from her face.

“We’re not even done yet,” Caitlyn said, smiling at Lucy.

“Really??” Lucy asked. “What else can you do?!!”

“We’re going shorter!” Caitlyn said before once more lifting her guardless clippers and her wide, flat comb. “Now don’t move,” she told Cathie. “This is precise work and if you’re not still you’ll end up bald.”

What would you call this? Cathie mourned inwardly as another tear fell from her eye.

With mechanical precision Caitlyn placed her comb into the short hair left on top of Cathie’s head and buzzed it all straight across shortening each hair and coaxing it straight up until she had created the most horrifically square flat top Cathie had ever seen in her life and it was on her head.

From there, Caitlyn did a bit of blending so the square of hair perfectly faded into the bald sides.

If nothing else, Cathie was relieved her haircut was over. That was until another bzzzzzzzz… and she felt Caitlyn sliding her godforsaken clippers into the middle of the hair left on top of her head.

“What are you…” Cathie tried to ask before her breath caught and her words faltered.

“Well,” Caitlyn said, “Jake’s a military guy, right? The only people who really wear horseshoe flat tops are in the military so I figured I’d give him an extra surprise. I can’t tell you the last time I cut one of these!”

Cathie was certain this was all vindictive. Just because I wanted my kids to get the haircuts I chose doesn’t mean you get to pick my haircut, she stewed. Yet here she was all the same.

Once Caitlyn had finished carving out what she told Cathie was called a “landing strip” in the middle of her head, she used her comb and clippers to shorten the top even more.

“Almost there,” Caitlyn said before she began applying shaving cream all over the sides and back of Cathie’s head.

Cathie jumped when the first dollop touched her skin and before she knew it, Caitlyn was slowly dragging her straight razor down her temple.

While the clippers hummed with a buzzing massage, albeit one she didn’t want, the razor tugged, catching and pulling her skin slightly with every short stroke as it moved over most of her head. Each tug seemed to symbolize Cathie’s reluctance to let go of her beautiful hair…and as it slid on, her powerlessness to save it.

“I never get to use my straight razor working in the salon,” Caitlyn said with her frustrating casualness. “But clippers won’t get your hair short enough for this look. For a flat top, I don’t like it shaved. I like it bald.”

Not even the “landing strip” down the center of her head was spared. Before Caitlyn put the razor down for good even the stubble left there had been shaved smooth.

Under different circumstances Cathie would’ve been able to admit how soothing the hot towel Caitlyn applied to her head was. But all she could feel was the weight of sadness in her heart alongside a swelling anger at being shaved bald without her consent.

“All done!” Caitlyn said with a flourish as she applied a bit of product to keep the flat top standing straight and square.

The cape wasn’t even off before Lucy was rubbing her mom’s head. “This feels so neat, Mom! Can I get my head shaved like this, too??”

“Uh, maybe next time,” Cathie managed.

She flinched when Lucy rubbed her head and her lunch threatened to vacate her stomach when she finally put her own hand to her smooth head and the short-short-short bristles of hair left standing straight up on. On the rest of her head, there was no soft, fuzzy stubble. There was no prickly stubble. Rather, her fingers stuck a bit, skipping across the smooth skin like the haircut was forcing her hand to linger a moment before letting go.

“You look pretty cool, Mom,” Caleb said with a smile. His mom’s instance on listening to Jake had cost him the long hair he loved so much this afternoon but now Caitlyn – his new favorite person – had stripped his mom of her hair, too, cutting it even shorter than she did his and Lucy’s hair. I hate this fucking haircut but justice is sweet, Caleb thought.

“You kids wait in the car,” Cathie said, her voice still shaking. “I’ll pay and be out in a minute.”

“Ok! Thank you, Caitlyn!” Lucy said as she waved goodbye.

“Yeah, thank you,” Caleb said with a smile of vindication on his face.

“Enjoy your trip!” Caitlyn called after the kids as they left.

“What the fuck is wrong with you??” Cathie said as soon as the salon door closed, tears finally falling freely from her eyes. “Why the fuck would you do this to me!?!! You shaved my head you fucking bitch! I fucking hate this! I didn’t ask for this!”

“Well,” Caitlyn said with her infuriating matter-of-factness, “you are taking a family vacation and you wanted family haircuts. Caleb certainly didn’t want to go short either but, like you told him, it’s one haircut. It will make camping easier and you can grow it out later if you want. Your kids do look good with buzz cuts. I wouldn’t have cut their hair off otherwise. And so do you. Your long hair was holding you back. I left it at your shoulder blades because you were really attached to it and you did look sexy with it long. But once you decided your kids’ hair had to go I knew yours did, too. You look much sexier now.”

Cathie didn’t feel sexy. She felt hideous. “I look like a fucking man!” she said through her tears.

“Does Lucy?” Caitlyn asked. “Of course not. You’re just being dramatic because you weren’t ready to cut it. But this is who you are now. You’re a flat top girlie! You’re gonna want to schedule an appointment as soon as you’re back from camping. The buzz cuts will need cleaned up but your flat top especially needs regular shaves to keep from looking scruffy. You and my clippers are gonna become best friends!”

Too furious to say anything else, Cathie paid on autopilot and stormed out crying. She was angrier with Caitlyn than she had ever been with anyone in her life. Yet she had to manage her anger so as to not make Lucy feel uncomfortable about her new buzz cut.

Cathie walked to the car slowly, taking deep breaths along the way. She got her tears under control but inside her fury raged.

Lucy spent the whole night rubbing her head and saying how this was “the best haircut ever” and she “wants a buzz cut forever!” After FaceTiming with his girlfriend, Caleb warmed to his haircut, too. Turns out Caitlyn was right, he thought, girls do find buzz cuts sexy. He still loved his long hair, but she liked it buzzed and he had to admit his buzz cut did feel pretty good. Plus, unlike his sister, he could see how devastated his mom was by her haircut…so he enjoyed talking about how much he loved feeling his super short hair all night to make sure his mom was thinking of her super short hair, too.

How could Cathie forget? Not long after getting home, she locked herself in her bathroom where she sobbed until she shook and finally threw up. I fucking hate this haircut, she thought. I’d rather be fucking bald than whatever THIS horseshoe shit is. This will takes years to grow out! YEARS.

There was no escaping it. Instinctively moving to tuck hair behind her ear, Cathie would find her smooth scalp instead. Catching her reflection in mirrors or her glass kitchen cupboards revealed the horrid bristles standing square and erect on her head instead of beautiful waves cascading down her back.

Even the air itself betrayed her. The air conditioned air blowing through their home caressed her bare head and made her shiver – as much from cold as revulsion. Every movement of every second of every minute of every hour reminded her of her cruel flat top. No hair swayed or bounced or swished around her shoulders. Instead there was a cold, bare weightlessness. It made her sick.

Each time Lucy or Caleb would talk about getting their hair cut again when they got home from camping Cathie had to fight to keep from sobbing. Lucy rubbed Cathie’s head almost as much as her own and asked her mom if they could both get flat tops next time. All Cathie could think was how much she hated Caitlyn. She used every ounce of self-control not to cry as Lucy ran her fingers over what was left of her hair.

Jake was ecstatic when he came home, rubbing Lucy and Caleb’s heads and telling them how “clean” and “cool” they looked…until he saw Cathie. His mood changed swiftly. As it turns out, wanting the kids buzzed was one thing but he liked Cathie’s horseshoe flat top even less than she did.

So Caitlyn was wrong, Cathie thought. Or this was her plan all along. Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her.

Cathie wasn’t ready for the crisp coldness which enveloped her head as she laid down on her pillow that night. A chill shot through her body as the pillow case touched her smooth skin for the first time. Soon the coolness was replaced with wetness as she silently cried herself to sleep, cursing the whole damn idea of “family haircuts” in the first place. She desperately missed her hair, more than she had ever missed anything in her life. Being honest with herself, she missed Lucy’s waist-length princess hair and Caleb’s shoulder-length long hair, too. She loved her children’s long hair just as she loved her own. This was a terrible idea, one which would take years to correct…or much longer if Caitlyn and Cathie’s now-buzz-cut-loving kids had their way.