Red Bob
For the first few weeks after Nick’s birthday, the perm held beautifully.
Most mornings I dampened the curls, worked in a little curl cream and left them alone while I dressed. The clipped sides needed no attention, which made me like them even more.
At night I wore a satin bonnet to protect the curls.
The first evening I put it on, Nick looked up from his book and simply stared at me.
I smiled back.
“What?”
“Come here,” he said, with a certain look in his eyes.
I crossed the room and stood between his knees. He put the book aside, one hand settling at my waist while the other moved behind my ear.
His thumb brushed slowly upward against the short hair beneath the edge of the bonnet.
I felt it straight away.
“So the bonnet works for you too.”
Nick smiled.
“Apparently.”
I leaned into him.
“You’re supposed to be protecting the curls.”
“I’m not touching the curls.”
“Very disciplined.”
“For now.”
I kissed him before he could say anything else.
When I pulled back, he was still looking at the bonnet.
I laughed.
“I’m keeping it.”
“Good.”
Within a week neither of us mentioned it anymore.
I took it off in the mornings, dampened the flattened curls and watched them tighten back into themselves.
What had felt extraordinary on Nick’s birthday became ordinary surprisingly quickly.
I liked that.
I liked that I could make such a dramatic change and then simply get on with my life.
——
At work, everybody else did the same.
For the first few days I caught people looking at my hair when they thought I wouldn’t notice. After that, meetings became normal again.
One morning, after everyone else had left a conference room, Zoe, my assistant, stayed behind with her laptop held against her chest.
Her long black hair was smooth and straight, the upper section pulled loosely back from her face. In her white blouse, black trousers and dark-framed glasses, she looked as polished as she always did.
She hesitated.
“Can I say something slightly non-work-related?”
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
A small smile.
“I just wanted to say I really like your hair.”
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone.”
“I appreciate that.”
Her eyes moved briefly to the clipped side above my ear.
“It suits you. Especially that part.”
“The sides?”
“Yes.”
I laughed.
“Apparently I’ve lost perspective.”
“I think it looks very modern. Not many people could pull off a hairstyle like that.”
Then the conversation returned to the meeting.
“I’ll send you the revised deck before three.”
“Check slide fourteen first.”
“I already have.”
“Excellent.”
She left.
I liked that she had waited until everybody else was gone.
Zoe was much younger than me, clever and careful about the fact that I was her boss. She was very career-focused.
——
About six weeks after Nick’s birthday, Liz came to tidy my hair for the first time since she had clipped the sides beneath the perm. They were long overdue.
When I opened the door, she had her case in one hand. She was wearing a fitted denim jacket over a bright knit top, a short dark skirt and ankle boots.
Her blonde hair had been pulled completely away from her face, every loose strand drawn back tightly and twisted into a small, neat knot high at the back of her head.
She stepped inside and looked straight at my hair.
“Turn around.”
I laughed.
“You’ve only just got here.”
“I know. Let me see.”
I turned.
Liz separated the curls at the back with her fingers before checking the nape.
“These are still holding really well.”
“They feel softer.”
“They are softer. They’re supposed to.”
Her attention moved to the sides.
“This, however, has definitely grown.”
“I can feel it.”
She combed the hair forward around one ear.
“Do you want me to put the sides back where they were?”
“Yes.”
Liz looked at them for another moment.
“Or we could go one grade shorter.”
I turned slightly towards her.
“How short?”
“Grade three.” She said as she brought out the clippers from her bag
“What was it before?”
“Mostly a four.”
“Would I notice much difference?”
“You’d feel it more than you’d see it from the front. It would sit closer around the ears and nape, and give you a stronger contrast with the curls.”
That appealed to me immediately.
“Would it look more obviously buzzed?”
“A little.”
“Let’s do the three.”
Liz smiled.
“I thought you might.”
She carried her case through to the kitchen.
Nick had gone into town, and the chair was already beside the island. By the time I sat down, I was looking forward to hearing the clippers start.
Liz fastened the cape around me and combed the curls clear of my ears.
She switched the clippers on and started at the right side, taking the grown-out hair down in slow passes around the temple and above the ear.
I felt the difference immediately.
“That is closer.”
“Only one grade.”
“It feels more than one.”
“It usually does at this length.”
She worked carefully around my ear, then moved behind it and across the nape. Tiny copper hairs collected on the cape.
When she finished the first side, I slipped a hand out from underneath and felt it.
Much better.
Liz glanced at me.
“Happy?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Hand away while I do the other one.”
I laughed and put it back beneath the cape.
She repeated the same on the left, then softened the upper edge into the curls without taking anything significant from the permed top.
When the clippers stopped, the difference was subtle to look at but unmistakable to me.
Shorter. Cleaner. Velvety.
“Better?” Liz asked.
“Definitely.”
She smiled.
“I thought so.”
Then she turned her attention back to the curls. She lifted one and checked the straight regrowth underneath.
“The perm is still in very good shape.”
“I’m still wearing the bonnet.”
“That helps.”
“Nick still calls it a hat.”
“Nick is wrong.”
“I’ve told him.”
Liz laughed and started putting the clippers away.
While she worked, I watched her for a moment.
There was something lighter about her that morning. I couldn’t quite decide whether it was simply the way she looked or something else.
“Everything all right with you?”
Liz paused.
“Yes.”
Then she gave me a small smile.
“Actually, Craig and I split up.”
I turned towards her.
“Oh, Liz.”
“It’s all right.”
“When?”
“A while ago now. Just before I did your perm.”
I stared at her.
“You already knew that day?”
“Yes.”
“And you never said.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Liz shrugged gently.
“It was Nick’s birthday. You were excited about the perm and about surprising him. I didn’t want to spend the afternoon talking about Hans.”
I thought back to how much time we had spent together that day.
“You could have told me.”
“I know.”
“But you didn’t want to.”
“No.”
She said it softly.
“I wanted to enjoy doing your hair. It was actually quite nice having something else to think about.”
That made more sense.
“What happened?”
“Nothing dramatic. We’d been unhappy for a while and kept pretending we weren’t. Eventually we stopped pretending.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.”
She closed one section of her case.
“But I’m relieved as well.”
I nodded.
“I can understand that.”
“It took me a little while to.”
She glanced towards the tightly gathered blonde hair at the back of her head.
“I’ve been thinking about a lot of things since.”
“Such as?”
“Myself, mostly.”
“That sounds healthy.”
“I’m trying.”
She smiled.
“I realised how many things I’d kept exactly the same simply because they were easy.”
“Your hair?”
“That too.”
I looked at the severe little knot of blonde hair.
“You’ve got plans.”
“Maybe.”
“What sort of plans?”
Liz smiled again.
“I’m not telling you yet.”
“That sounds unfair.”
“You’ll survive.”
She sat against the edge of the island for a moment.
“Watching you has probably had something to do with it.”
“Me?”
“You keep changing your hair while you still like it.”
I smiled.
“I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
“I have. You don’t wait until something is wrong anymore. You just decide you fancy something different.”
“That sounds slightly irresponsible when you say it.”
“I don’t think it is.”
Liz shook her head.
“I think it’s quite freeing.”
I looked at her.
She had spent years being the person who suggested possibilities to me. It was strange hearing that some of my choices had made her reconsider her own.
“So what happens now?”
“With me?”
“Yes.”
Liz smiled.
“I do what I fancy for a change.”
“With your hair?”
“Especially with my hair.”
I looked again at the tightly controlled blonde knot.
For the first time, I wondered how long it would stay that way.
Liz picked up her case.
“You’ll see.”
And that was all she would give me.
——
After she left, I went upstairs for a quick shower. Afterwards I looked at the cut properly.
The curls appeared fuller because the sides were closer. My ears were completely clear again and the copper around them had been reduced to a short, even velvet.
Then I heard the front door.
A few minutes later Nick appeared in the bedroom carrying a paper bag.
He stopped.
“You went shorter around the sides.”
I tried not to smile.
“It’s nice you noticed.”
He put the bag down and came closer. His hand settled against the side above my ear.
His expression changed.
“Oh.”
“What?”
“That is shorter.”
“I know.”
He let his thumb travel once over the close hair.
“You like it,” I said.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You made a noise.”
“That was involuntary.”
Then he looked at me.
“Three?”
I stared at him.
“How do you know that?”
A smile.
“I asked.”
“Who?”
“That isn’t important.”
“You’ve been finding out about clipper grades?”
“I was curious.”
“Why?”
He looked at me for a second, then pulled me closer.
I understood before he kissed me.
——
A few weeks later, Esther messaged me to say she had a work meeting near my office and suggested we meet for lunch afterwards.
I walked into the bar where we agreed to meet. I took a look around the room to see where she was sat, but couldn’t see her.
She must have been running late I thought, but then I head my name being called out.
I turned around and spotted her sitting near the window. Well at least I thought it’ll was her.
“Bloody hell, Esther! Your hair!”
She looked back and laughed.
“Well, what do you think?”
Her long, dark brunette hair was gone. She’d had it cut into a short, choppy shag-mullet, tousled around the crown with a tiny, uneven fringe. Her ears were exposed, while longer, wispy layers fell against her neck.
I gave her a hug and sat down.
“I thought you were having a bob!”
“So did I.”
“I love it.”
“I know, I can’t stop playing with it.”
I smiled.
“What changed your mind?”
“I saw a photograph at the salon, which wasn’t too dissimilar to the lady’s hair at the bar from the meal, and I kept going back to it. In the end, I thought I’d be annoyed with myself if I didn’t try.”
“And?”
“Best thing I’ve done.”
She put her fingers through the short layers, leaving them slightly tousled.
“I still can’t quite believe I did it.”
“You look fantastic.”
“Thank you. I’ve been getting some lovely reactions.”
“I can imagine. What did Rob say?”
Esther smiled into her glass.
“He didn’t say much at first.”
“Didn’t he like it?”
“Oh, he liked it.”
She glanced at me.
“He’d started cooking when I got home. I think he forgot all about dinner for a while.”
“Esther!”
She laughed.
“I haven’t seen him that interested in my hair for years. He keeps finding reasons to put his hands on me.”
“And you’re complaining?”
“Not remotely. I spent half of Saturday encouraging him.”
I shook my head, smiling.
“I’m pleased you’re enjoying it.”
“Oh, I am. And I think he rather enjoys the fact that I am.”
She picked up her menu.
“Anyway, I’m starving. We really must stop talking about my husband.”
——
Once we’d ordered, Esther looked across the table.
“Your sides are looking shorter.”
“Liz came last weekend. Grade three now.”
She leaned forward slightly.
“Those curls have softened too.”
“I’m pleased with them.”
“I bet Nick still is.”
I smiled.
“He certainly appreciates Liz’s work.”
“Does he now?”
“Esther.”
“What? I’m interested.”
I laughed.
“Let’s just say he’s become very affectionate when I’ve had the back done.”
She smiled.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? Rob’s always liked running his fingers through my hair, but now he seems fascinated by the bits that aren’t there anymore.”
“I know what you mean.”
We exchanged a smile, and that was enough.
After that, we moved on to work. Esther described a colleague who’d spent forty minutes explaining something everyone already understood. I told her about a presentation that had somehow acquired five versions of the same graph.
Then we discussed summer plans and Grace’s new French boyfriend.
“French?” Esther asked.
“Yes. Antoine.”
“Has she brought him back with her yet?”
“Not yet. Nick’s been asking her lots of questions.
Esther laughed.
“Poor Grace.”
“I’ve told him to behave.”
“Good luck.”
Esther had also endured a disastrous dinner party and a disagreement at work with a woman who apparently didn’t appreciate being contradicted.
“I told her I disagreed. She looked furious.”
“What did you do?”
“Carried on eating my lunch.”
I smiled.
“I’ve decided I’m finished worrying quite so much about what everyone thinks.”
“That’ll make your meetings interesting.”
“They’re already more interesting.”
She reached for her glass.
“I’ve booked a shopping trip for Saturday too. I fancy some new clothes.”
“Anything special?”
“Haven’t decided. A few things I’ve always been tempted by.”
“Such as?”
“You’ll see.”
She gave me a little smile.
I was enjoying this side of Esther. She’d always had a sense of humour, but lately there seemed to be more of it, and she was less inclined to keep her opinions to herself.
As we finished lunch, she caught me studying her.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m still getting used to seeing you with short hair.”
“So am I, actually. I keep expecting it to fall over my shoulders.”
“Do you miss it?”
“No. The thought of cutting it made me think I would.”
She glanced towards the window.
“I’ve had more fun this weekend than I’ve had in ages. I suppose I’d forgotten how nice it is to do something just because I want to.”
I understood that better than she knew.
“Will you keep it this way?”
“For a while. Although I’m already thinking about the colour.”
“Really?”
“I nearly had some lighter pieces put through it. But I wanted to see it in my own brunette first.”
“It would suit you.”
“Thanks. I might try something completely different next time.”
I raised an eyebrow.
She smiled.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not making another appointment this afternoon.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Although Rob did ask whether I was planning anything else.”
“Did he?”
“I told him he’d have to wait and see.”
She looked rather pleased with that arrangement.
Then her eyes moved to my copper curls.
“And what about you? Any more plans?”
“Possibly.”
Esther put down her glass.
“Go on.”
“There’s nothing to tell yet.”
“Shorter?”
“Maybe.”
“Another perm?”
“No.”
She studied me for a moment.
“Colour?”
I smiled.
“I’ve got an idea.”
“More copper?”
“No.”
That caught her attention.
“Oh, Natalie.”
“What?”
“Now I really want to know.”
“You’ll find out.”
“Does Nick know?”
“No.”
She smiled slowly.
“Good for you.”
I laughed.
“Don’t encourage me.”
“Why not? You’ve been encouraging me for months.”
“That was different.”
“Was it?”
I thought about that.
“Perhaps not.”
Esther sat back, satisfied.
“Well, whatever you do, make sure I get to see it before everyone else.”
“I’ll try.”
“And don’t tell me you’re going to be sensible.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
The waiter arrived with the bill before she could ask anything else.
——
Outside, Esther was heading towards the station while I had to return to the office.
She hugged me goodbye.
“By the way, Natalie, this is partly your fault.”
She touched her short fringe.
“You made the appointment.”
“You put the idea in my head.”
“I didn’t suggest anything quite so adventurous.”
“No. That bit was all me.”
She smiled, clearly pleased about that.
“I’ll see you soon.”
I started walking away.
“Natalie.”
I turned.
“Not copper?”
I smiled.
“Not forever.”
She laughed and headed towards the station.
I walked back to the office thinking about our lunch.
My curls still looked good, and I still liked the colour.
But that no longer felt like a reason to keep it unchanged.
