By early January Ali started to tell people that she was expecting. We were getting very excited and fortunately she stayed in good condition and felt fine. She barely had any morning sickness or loss of energy. She did however feel the effects of the weigh gain. By the end of February she had already put on close to 20 lbs. She still barely looked pregnant, just bigger all around. I could tell her stomach was sticking out when she was not wearing clothes, but when she was dressed it was hard to tell that she was carrying. I loved the look and found it very sexy. She was worried that she would gain too much weight, but I encouraged her to eat what she wanted. She was constantly hungry.
Ali for some reason wanted longer hair at this point and only trimmed it. Her hair was growing out and it was getting messy looking. The curls were getting looser and looked limp. As her hair was naturally very straight and fine, perms seemed to grow out after a certain time and look less than flattering. It was like you could see the straight hair at the root and then the curls. She started to complain about her hair and was spending more time trying to make it look good every morning. I noticed, but tried not to say very much as it was a sensitive time for her. After a while Ali started talking about getting another perm. She did not say much about what she was planning and I avoided bringing it up.
She wanted me to come with her as it was a long appointment because of the perm. I had mixed feelings, as I wanted to see it happen, but was afraid that I would seem weird in this situation. I agreed to come with her, as she was making some serious sacrifices for me during this time carrying another human in her body. I promised myself that I would act like a typical guy and show no interest. I decided that I would refrain from giving any opinion either. This was my typical and long-standing attempt to hide my feelings.
When we got to the salon (which was just a room at the back of her stylist’s house), her stylist was happy to see her and commented on how long her hair had grown. Ali had a perm booked, so her stylist gave her ideas for a new style. Her stylist, like usual, suggested that she goes shorter and tries tighter curls to keep it super easy during her pregnancy. Her stylist explained that she could keep a couple inches of curls on top and then clean up the back and sides. Ali thought about, but said that she wanted to keep more length during this time. I was not a huge fan of how it looked grown out like this, but wanted to support whatever she wanted. During the discussion of what to do, her stylist asked what I thought the idea of the shorter style. I was not sure what to say, but said that it might be something to try later when the baby comes and she needs it to be very easy.
Watching Ali get her perm was exciting for me, but I tried not to show it. Seeing her under the drier was cute and I hoped her hair would be less in her face after the perm. I also tried not to look too interested when her stylist trimmed her hair after the perm. I was hoping to see her cut more, but she respected what Ali wanted and only trimmed her hair. After her hair was permed, it looked a bit neater and was out of her face and not covering her ears. It was still rather long for her and had a bit of a “big hair” look because of the perm. On our drive home she talked about her hair and asked if I liked it. I told her I liked it no matter what and wanted what is best for her. She said that she was very tempted to let her go shorter, but was unsure. She said that she was probably going to go shorter before her due date.
I loved the way Ali looked when she was pregnant. She had a natural glow and could not have looked more feminine. She gained weight at a health pace and it really suited her. It was one of the few times that she just accepted it and did not really mind the gain. By about five months into her pregnancy, she started to really look pregnant. It seemed like her weight was starting to go to her belly that was popping out.
Since we met Ali boobs had always been larger than average. That was one of the first things I noticed about her and it was a feature I always loved. For me, there was not such thing as too big. Ali did not agree and would get a breast reduction in a second if we had a health plan that would pay for it. As she gained weight over the years, her boobs grew with her. Starting about mid-way through her pregnancy, they started to get much bigger. By the end of April, they hung in a way that if she was not standing up straight they came close to touching her belly.
Ali continued to grow her hair out gradually and got a trim in April that was barely noticeable. A few weeks after, I was helping Ali groom herself. As she had gotten bigger, it was hard for her to reach certain areas. I did not complain. As we already had the little clippers out, I offered to clean up her neck. I used to do this often when her hair was very short in the back and her neck was exposed. Ali’s hair grew on her neck below her hairline and was rather dark in contrast to her pale Irish skin, so she had to trim it every couple weeks or it would look pretty untidy. As her hair was grown out and now covering part of her neck, I did not have to do for her. This time she agreed that I should clean up her neck, even if it was not showing like it used to.
When I was clipping her neck, Ali told me that when she was last at her stylist she told her that some women have their hair cut in a very short and very simple style before they have their baby so they can have their hair maintained at home for the first few months. She explained that her stylist did would do a cut with clippers and a long guard on top so it is neat and cropped but long enough to still brush down so it does not look like a buzz cut. Her stylist told her that when she does cuts like this, new moms can just have their hair maintained at home during the time when it is hard to get out of the house. I did not say anything, but thought how great it would be if she did that. I hoped she would.
As time passed, Ali gained more weight in a way that was natural for a pregnant woman. She no longer fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes and ended up borrowing clothes from her sister to save money. She bought a few nice maturity outfits for work, but could not afford many. We were trying to save up for the baby so she hated having to buy a new wardrobe. The clothes from her sister were a much more mature and conservative look, which took some getting used to. They also did not fit perfectly, as her sister was several inches taller than her.
I was excited to see her without her clothes on during this time. By now, after a few years of marriage, her shyness was completely gone. She still had her routine of getting ready every morning in the bathroom without yet getting dressed, so that is when I would get to see her. She still tried to look good for work, so she had to spend time blowing her hair dry and putting on makeup. She did not mind having the company, so she was okay me being in there with her. I tried not to stare, but seeing her style her hair only in her underwear was a thrill I never got tired of. I wished it was shorter hair, but was not complaining.
By Ali’s seventh month, her face started to swell up a bit and it gave her a different look. She was self conscious, but accepted it as part of being pregnant. She still spent a lot of time making herself look good for work. Her hair was now back to limp curls with a grown out perm. She had gotten it trimmed, but it was now almost covering her ears and in her face. Because of her hair, it now took her much more time in the morning to get ready. I was not a huge fan of it and missed having her neck exposed so I could kiss it when I held her from behind. I preferred her having short hair that was easy and out of the way. She had mixed feeling about her hair. Some days she wanted to keep her grow-out and others days she hated it.
In late June, Ali asked my opinion on her hair and like usual I avoided a straight answer and suggested she does what she thinks is best. This annoyed her. She then looked at me seriously and asked what I liked. I told her that I think short hair is better for her and would make her life easy once the baby comes. I also said that I liked her with curls, but it was totally up to her. She said that she was thinking the same thing and was going to make an appointment with her hairdresser a bit before her due date.
Ali’s due date was around July 21, but we started getting things prepared early. On July 2, Ali went into labor. This was before she even finished work so it was stressful. Fortunately, her labor went very well and we had our daughter within 5 hours of her first contraction. My mother-in-law says that many women in their family have an easy time with child birth. Our daughter was born healthy and just under 8 lbs.
It was a stressful time and after the first week, our daughter was not sleeping well. She was a crier. Not much we could do about it. I was not getting much sleep, but my wife was getting way less. She was intent on breast feeding, so she had to get up for every feed. By the third week she was a mess. It was showing too. She barely had time to shower each day and did not usually blow dry her hair. She did not end up getting her hair cut before she gave birth, so it was a nightmare for her. I was not used to her hair being messy and it really did not look its best.
By the end of the month, we were seriously talking about me just cutting it for her at home just to get it out of the way. We discussed it and had a pair of clippers, but I did not push it. As her hair was already pretty long for her, it would have been a scary process. If it was already short and neat I would have been more comfortable with the idea. I was also afraid that I would make things much worse, so I was really reluctant to do it.
Things did not get much easier in August. Our daughter just refused to sleep. Ali was supposed to return to work after 8 weeks, so that was stressing her out as well. She had barely lost any weight since she left the hospital. Her feeding was going well and her body looked as good as ever to me. Her chest may have even gotten a bit bigger.
She finally got to her hairdresser in mid-August. She booked her in for another perm, so I came with her to take care of our daughter. As she was still feeding, she could not leave her with me at home for that long. My wife was apologetic to her stylist for not getting to her before she had our daughter and said that she has definitely been paying the price. Her stylist ran her figures through her hair and said I guess we are getting rid of this mess. My wife just said she needed it easy at this stage. Plain and simple. At that point, I was hoping her stylist would suggest a clipped cut that I could maintain for her at home. Her stylist said that she knows she is booked for a perm and had the perfect cut for her. She said it would be short, but still feminine with the curls. Her stylist asked if she was ready to go short again and Ali, without any hesitation said she was.
Before I knew it, Ali’s hairdresser way removing most of the length. She was cutting it quickly on the sides and back and then leaving a bit more on top. Even I was surprised at how much hair was coming off. After most of Ali’s hair was on the floor, her stylist took out very small rods and seemed to be winding her hair very tightly around them. I saw that she only put curlers on the hair on her crown, so I assumed sides and back were going to be too short for curls. I was hoping her stylist would go very short, but tried to not look excited.
I can still remember seeing my wife with her curlers in under the drier feeding our daughter. Although most guys would not agree, I found it super attractive. When she was done under the drier, her hair was sticking up and looked super messy. Her stylist rinsed her hair out, brushed it and then started cutting even more. I was surprised about how much hair she was taking off and tried hard not to stare.
In the end, her hairdresser used a combination of a #2 and #3 guard on the back and sides. She took her hairline pretty high on her neck, which I absolutely loved. Her hair on top was cut even shorter and thinned out after the curlers came out. What was left when her stylist had finished cutting were very tight super short curls. As she was drying my wife’s hair I could tell she hated it. To be fair, it was very short and did not have much style to it. My wife said she felt like she looked like a fat Q-tip and it was like having pubic hair on her head. I was sorry that she was unhappy with it. Personally, I liked the curls and kind of thought it looked cute on her. I was also happy to have her neck exposed again.
Our daughter continued to be irritable and cranky. It was really taking a toll on my wife. She started back at work and that made things worse. She felt guilty about leaving our baby, but we needed her to be working and she felt a great deal of responsibility at work. It was a stressful time and it showed.
Unlike before, my wife spent very little time getting ready before work and she just did not seem to care the same way as she always had. In fairness, she was getting very little sleep and had other priorities. She was not bothering with much make up and only had a few outfits that fit her. Most of what she wore was still her maternity clothes. Although she was not too keen on her hair at first, it was virtually no maintenance, so it was perfect for this stage. She also really did not seem too concerned about what others thought. She did not care much about her weight either way. I do not think she lost any weight, but her body shape sort of changed. It seemed like her face and neck were fuller. After she cut her hair, it exposed her neck and the back of to head and showed that her neck and chin had filled out quite a bit.
I still loved how she looked, but was worried about her as she was having trouble finding a balance. I could understand and tried to help when I could.
Ali had to take leave from work in October as she was not coping well. She did not want to do it, but really had no choice. Pretty much all of her efforts were focused on our daughter. I had to help out more as well.
She did not do much with her appearance, which I could understand. I knew things were bad when she was not shaving under her arms and her legs anymore. There were days when she did not even shower, which would have been unheard of for Ali before she was a mom. I offered to help, but she was not interested. She also pretty much just let her hair air-dry. Having the tight curls was perfect for this. She could also go a few days without washing her hair and it barely looked any different.
Over time, Ali’s hair grew out from the cut and she did not seem to care much about that either. I was tempted to offer to trim her hair, but was afraid to ask. By early November, her mom convinced her to go to her stylist as it would probably make her feel better about herself. Her hairdresser took her hair very short again. The cut was the same on the sides and back, but she did not perm it again, so her stylist ended up cutting off a good portion of the curls. She left a bit of curl to give it some body, but it was pretty short on top. She also lost a bit of weight, as her eating was off and she was still breastfeeding our daughter.
It was pretty clear that she was suffering from depression, but she did not want to go on medication while she was breastfeeding. I really did not know what to do, so I just tried to help where I could.
Things did not get much better over the holidays. She managed to fake it when she was with her family when we saw everyone for Christmas, but it was not easy. I felt bad for her and encouraged her to get some help. I was worried, but felt like there was not much that I could do. I tried to start some romance with her, but she was really not into it at that time.