How I met My Wife

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JD feared that most of the barbershop in the area had already closed for the evening. There was one shop that JD knew would be still open. He didn’t want to go there, but he knew he needed a haircut.

The old fashion barbershop was located less than a mile from where JD was currently at. Everyone left their chairs with super short haircuts. Even their woman customers left their stop almost completely shorn.

As JD pulled onto the main road, he remembered an experience his mother had there. Her regular barberette was on maternity leave, and she needed a haircut for an up coming family event. Despite her giving the barber clear instructions, she left with a much shorter haircut than she wanted.

He was almost to where the barbershop was, when he saw a woman smoking a cigarette. She was standing in front of where the barbershop was. As JD parked the truck, he wondered if she was a barberette or just some kid’s mom. When he had his truck legally parked, he made his way to the woman

When he got closer to her, he noticed she was wearing an apron. She had it tied tightly around her perfect waist. From where JD was standing, she looked like prettiest barberette that he ever saw. JD felt like he was a safe distance away from her, when he said ” by any chance do you cut men’s hair”.

With out hast, the woman said “yes”. She took a brief pause, and then said “men, women, girls, boys. I draw the line at pets”. JD wanted to stay a safe distance away from the woman, because the sun was already close to the horizon and covered the town’s buildings in an intense orange glow of an approaching sunset.

This was probably going to be JD’s only chance at a haircut that night, so he didn’t want to scare her off. As she took another hit of cigarette, JD said” I know his probably isn’t the right time of day to be asking this, but do you have any opening tonight for a cut and shave”.

Much to JD’s surprise, she said “that should not be a problem”. She took a brief pause, and then said “their is a young lady that will be a head of you”. She blew smoke in JD direction, and then said “go ahead on in”. JD did what he was told. When he walked in, he saw three woman and one young man in the barbershop.

The first thing JD saw when he walked into the barbershop was the other Barberette kicking the foot lever up her barber chair. It was sending her client up in a jolty motion. When the young woman was where the barberette wanted her, she raised her clippers up. Clearly, this young lady was getting a short haircut.

One of the other woman to appeared to the mother of a little boy that was waiting to have his haircut. The young boy had a scared look on his face. The other woman in barbershop clearly had jittery nerves.

Clearly, this woman had something on her mind. Before JD could ask her if everything was alright, She lit up a cigarette. Then she nervously ran her fingers through her long hair. As JD sat there, he wondered if this woman was getting a short haircut, as well. That would explain why she seemed so jittery.

The barberette working on her client also noticed the woman was acting kind of jittery. In an effort to address the issue, she said “sir, could you please come a different day. Clearly, your presence is scaring these woman”. JD knew this face was tore up from a recent fight, so he decide it better just leave.

The last thing he wanted to do was scare young children or woman. As JD began to get up, the woman said “he is not scare me”. Before the barberette could comment on that, the barberette JD met outside said “when did you start smoking, Taylor”.

When Taylor didn’t immediately respond to her, the barberette that JD met outside, said “my name is Kate. This has been my shop for a whole 3 weeks, now”. As the woman stubbed out her cigarette in ash of waiting room chair, kate made her way to her chair.

At this point, the woman seemed more scared than anything. Despite her fears, she made it to Kate’s chair. It seemed to take her forever to get over there. It looked like her was legs where going to give out. Kate stood behind the chair, as if this was normal.As the lady placed her left foot on the big iron footrest, JD assumed that the lady had some kind of disability. Maybe, that is why she took an evening appointment. She was able to get her foot on foot rest with out issue.

When the woman was sitting in Kate’s barber chair, she said “just a trim, Taylor”. Taylor had been a client of Kate’s for many of years. Taylor laughted, and then said “I’m here for more than a trim”. Taylor took a brief pause, and then said ” I want you to cut it off.”

With out hast, Kate said “how short where you thinking, Taylor”. When Taylor didn’t immediately respond, Kate said “would you like me to give you a bob like Tiffany is getting”.Taylor laughted, and then said “I want you to shave it all off”. At this point, JD wondered if the woman had a disability or it was just nervous.

Kate caped her efficiently, as the other barber ette looked smiled at Taylor. “use your Wahls to take her right do to the wood” said Jessica, as Kate fastened the cape tightly around Taylor’s neck. Kate looked at Taylor thought the mirror, and then said “I hope you won’t regret this.”

The other barberette, Jessica, was done clipping the other girl’s undercut. She was now using a scissors to create the angled line. When the girl came into the barbershop, she had a boring bob haircut. She was going to be leaving with something alot more mordern.

As she used to scissors to create a non boring cut on the girl. Kate began sectioning off Taylor’s hair. Kate could understand why Taylor wanted to part ways with her locks, so she didn’t try to convince her to keep them. Kate was quickly sectioned off Taylor’s hair, when Jessica said “I’ll just charge you $35 for the cut”.

With out even thinking about it, JD said “you don’t work here all the time”. When Jessica heard that, she became scared. In an effort to find her fears, she said “yes, I’m just helping out Kate on Wednesday and Saturdays here”. She took a brief pause, and then said “this was my late husband shop. I’m helping Kate until she can find someone half as good as my husand was”.

The boys mother laughed, and then said “that will never happen”. She took a brief pause, and then said “fred was the best”. JD wanted to laugh, when he heard that. Growning up, he heard nothing but horrible things about this place. JD didn’t want to over stay his welcome, so he didn’t laugh.

JD watched Kate struggled as she quickly tried to section off Taylor’s hair, as he remembered what this shop was known for. Fred and Jessica were known for giving the shortest haircuts in town. He was also known for his odd smoking habit, and his ability to only really do one cut.

Based on the expression on the girl’s face, as she got out of Jessica’s chair, JD thought that the girl thought that she was being charged too much. In an effort to be done with Jessica, the girl pulled 2 twenty dollar bills out of her purse, and handed them to her. When Jessica began to move away from the girl, the girl said “you said $35. I gave you $40. I would like my $5 back”.

As Jessica walked to where the coffee maker was, she said “you need to leave right, now”. When she reached for the coffee pot, she said “I cut you a break, kid”. She took a brief pause, and then said “that would be a $65 haircut across the bridge”.

The girl made eye to eye contact with JD, and then said “when i walked up to low end barbershop, i saw a sign in the window that “great haircuts for $15”. As Jessica poured herself a cup of coffee, she said “you didn’t get a great cut, you got an awesome haircut”. Jessica laughted, and then said “awesome cuts are more here”.

The girl decided it was not worth it to argue with Jessica, so she decided she would leave. Before she left, she decided to made eye to eye with Kate. When they had eye to eye contact, she said “this woman is going to destroy your business”.

Jessica picked her pack of cigarettes that she accidentally left by the coffee maker, as she said “bye, now. Have a good night”. With out hast, the girl turned around and walked out of the dated barbershop. Kate knew the girl was right. As kate turned to say something to jessica, she saw her plighting up a cigarette.

Kate was alright with the customers smoking, but she felt like it was very unprofessional for the barberette to smoke in the shop, if customers where present. Kate turned Taylor’s head, so that she was facing Jessica. When they had eye to eye contact, Jessica said “how old are you”. With out even thinking up about it, said “17”.

Jessica laughted, and then said “then you should have not been up in here smoking”. Taylor gave her a confused look, and then said “what”. Rather than respond to what Taylor said, Jessica said “have your son get up in the barber chair”. Before the mother can began to help her son get into the barber chair, Kate said “’ll take care of him, Jessica”.

Before Jessica could respond, Kate said “you can head on home. I take him when I’m done with Taylor. He’ll be the last customer of the night.” At this point, Kate could not get what the girl said about Jessica destroying her business out of her mind.

When the Little boy’s mother heard that, she said “where done waiting. This ridiculous”. As the little boy felt like he beat the bullet on getting his haircut, Jessica said “I’m willing to stay, and give him an induction cut for $25”. With out hast, the little boy’s mother said “I’m not willing to pay Brandenburgh prices for a haircut in this shit hole”. After she said that, they quickly left the building.

When Kate heard that, she said “Jessica, leave and don’t come back”. Jessica was more than fine with that. His wasn’t her kind of shop. As she walked over towards the door, her heels clicked on the wood floor. Once she had the door open, she said “best of luck to you”.

As Jessica walked out the door, Kate said “Last chance to change your mind.” With out hast Taylor said “Go ahead.” Kate started oiling her clippers, as Taylor said “who did that to you”. Right before the clippers began to make a noise, JD said “a man trespassed on my land”.

Kate turned on the clippers, and then said “JD is building that cabin next to the tracks”. As Kate prepared to start shaving Taylor’s head, JD said “how do you know my name”. When kate had the clippers ready to shave the right side of Taylor’s head, she said “it’s a small town, honey”. As the clippers made contact with Taylor’s hair, kate said “everyone knows what is going on down there with you and rail road security”.

As Kate slowly worked on the right side of Taylor’s head, Kate said “your community backs you a 100 percent”. The first locks where already liberated, when Kate said “there are also a lot of people interested in seeing how your pallet cabin holds up over time”. Once Kate said that, she continued to peel Taylor’s hair off with a guard less clippers.

Kate gently pushed Taylor’s ear foward, as JD said “it will stand the test of time”. Taylor ear was released, as Kate said “if holds up, it could change the way we build a around here”. Their area had no restriction on how you had to build or maintain your house or outbuildings, so Kate was probably right .

At this point, kate had the right section of hair Taylor head down to stubble. It was now time to clip the back. When the clippers were about to run up Taylor’s nape, Taylor said “what does the lady in your life think of all this”. Kate made her first pass up Taylor’s nape, when JD said “there is no woman in my life”.

The clipper plowed through Taylor’s nape hair, as she said “that is such a shame”. Kate was making short strokes just cleaning up the bottom of Taylor’s nape. As Kate started clipping higher on back of Taylor’s head, JD said “are you interested in the position “. Kate continued to work on the back of Taylor’s head, when Taylor said “would you date a bald girl”. Most to the back of her head was done, when JD said “I’m interested in getting to know you”.

He watched a long piece of hair fall to the floor, as he said “I don’t care about looks or weight. I care about who you are as a person”. When Kate heard that, she hoped it was true. Taylor had alot of scarring on her face. The scars alone would probably keep her from finding a husand. Now, she was also adding a bald head to it.

The back of Taylor’s head was now reduced to same length as the right side of Taylor’s head, as Kate changed the position of where she was standing. Taylor said “that is very nice of you to say that”. Kate was ready to start the left side of Taylor’s head, as Taylor said “however, the three of know, you would never keep me around as a girlfriend”. When JD heard that, he felt like she didn’t know what she was talking about.

The clippers touched the back part of the left side of Taylor’s head, when JD said “I hope you didn’t have plans to do anything after your shearing”. As Kate began to make passes to reduce the left side of Taylor’s head to stubble, Taylor said “why”. With out hast, JD said “we are going out on proper date once our haircuts are done”.

Kate pushed Taylor’s left ear forward, as Taylor said “what are we going to do, Mr. Edwards”. When JD heard that, he wondered why Taylor said that. In reality, he was 6 months or less older than her. In an effort to get some answers, he said “my father is Mr. Edwards. I’m Jonathan”. As the clipper made a load buzzing noise around, Talyor said “could I call you, JD”.

With out hast, JD said “my grandmother calls me that”. As Kate removed the remaining hairs on the left side of Taylor head, Kate said “there must be a story behind that”. At this point, Taylor couldn’t believe what just happened to her. At this point, she was faced away from the mirror.

Taylor was enjoying her conservation with JD, but she wondered how her hair was looking. Just as she was about to say something to Kate about her haircut, Kate hung her clippers up. At this point, Taylor had an undercut going all the way around her head. As Kate picked up a small mirror, she said “I think with the sides and back clipped down to almost, it will reduce the amount of time you spend on your hair”.

As Kate handed Taylor the red mirror, she said “we can cut the top hairs into an angle bob”. Taylor could believe how much different she looked with an undercut. Taylor was taking in her new look, as Kate began to take the rubber band out Taylor’s hair. The only remaining hairs where on the top of her head. Once Kate had the rubber band out of Taylor’s hair, she picked up a brush.

She began brushing Taylor’s hair in a rear pony tail. Once she had the hair where she wanted, it put the rubber band in Taylor’s hair. Once she did this, she said ” you look like a total bad ass”. Once Kate said that, she decide she was ready to smoke a cigarette. It had already been a long day for her, and it was still far from over.

Normally, Kate would not smoke in front of clients in the shop, but she didn’t care at this point. As she took one out her pack, she said “normally,I would go outside. However, I think your going to need my help on making your decision. Before Kate could light the cigarette, Taylor said “I want it all saved off’.

Despite Taylor making it clear there was no need to talk about it, Kate lit the cigarette. As she exhaled the first hit, she said “are you sure”. With out hast, Taylor said “yes”. Once Taylor said yes, she hand Kate the mirror back. When mirror was in Kate’s hand, Taylor said “there will be no need for this. Once you finish shaving my head, I’ll look at it in the big mirror”.

Something about the way Taylor said that enraged Kate. Rather than put her cigarette out, Kate picked up her clippers. With cigarette in one hand, and the clippers in the other, Kate began clipping the hairs on the top of Taylor’s head. Kate quickly pushing the clippers down the center of Taylor’s head. In an instant Kate went from friendly barberette to mean army style barberette.

As she began making pass with the clippers, Taylor said “Where are we going on our date, JD”. Kate took a hit of her cigarette, just before JD said “we can head into town. We can go see a movie and then head over to the 24 hour dinner”. Taylor thought that sounded like a wonderful first date, so she said “I think I would enjoy that”. For a few moments the sound of the clippers was the only sound in the shop.

When Taylor looked over at JD, he didn’t say anything to her. He just smiled at her. At this point, Taylor was ready to feel her hair. She took her hand out from underneath the cape, and felt her nape. She didn’t like the way it felt, so she“It’s alright, but I wanted it shorter”. As Kate continued to work, she said “this is 000. shaving it with razor and cream is the only way your going to get it shorter or smoother feeling”. With out hast, Taylor said “I want to do that”.

Kate made the final pass up the back, and then said “you done, for today”. After she said that, she stubbed out her cigarette in an ashtray on her vanity. As the chair spun around, she said “I don’t have time to shave, today”. With out hast, Taylor began running both hands over my head”. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she saw beautiful bald woman.

Kate unfastened the cape, before Taylor could comment. Their was alot of hair on the floor. Normally, Kate would sweep it up and then go outside for a cigarette. Kate wanted to get home sooner than later, so she decide it she would just clean the hair up in the morning. Once Taylor stood up from the chair, Kate said “next”. JD’s legs where like gel as he made his way to Kate’s barber chair. Once JD was in the chair, she placed her fingers on his shoulders.

Suddenly, she began to spin the chair. The chair was now facing the mirror of her station. JD could now see what months of him not caring about his hair made him look like. The very gorgeous barberette was now standing behind him.

With out hast, she billowed a large cape over JD’s body. This was not the same Cape that Kate used on Taylor. It fell over his body slowly. Before JD knew what was going on, Kate snapped the cape shut around his neck. At this point, JD wondered why she didn’t put tissue paper around his neck. He was kind of disappointed that she didn’t use tissue paper.”

“How are we cutting it, Jonathan” asked Kate. She was running her fingers thought his somewhat long hair, when she asked that. Before JD could respond, kate said “how about something short for the summer”. After she suggested that, she put hand on his shoulder. At this point, JD didn’t care if he ended up with the same haircut Taylor got.

He was just happy that he was getting his hair cut by such a gorgeous barberette. When JD began to feel the chair jolting up, he said “normally, I do 000 on the sides and back. Then a rounded edge flat top on top”. With out even thinking about it, Kate said “when was the last time you got a haircut”. JD knew he had to say something, so he said “it’s probably been a few months”.

Kate ran her fingers up the back of JD’s neck, and then said “I don’t think that cut will be a problem”. Her heels clacked against the floor, as she walked to her vanity. As she picked up the clippers, she said “do you still have alot of inside work to do on your cabin”. Kate oiled the clippers, as JD said “technically, I finished the cabin last week”.

When JD finished staying that, Kate turned the chair. JD was now looking at Taylor’s beautiful bald head. When Taylor and JD had eye to eye contact, she said “I would love to see the inside of it”. At this point, Taylor was sitting in one of the waiting area chairs. She was smoking a long white cigarette. Taylor blew smoke in JD’s direction, and then he said “I would be happy to show you”.

When Kate was ready to get the haircut started, she said “look down, Jonathan”. He did what he was told. JD was looking at the checker board pattern on the floor, when he heard the clippers come to life. Soon after they came to life, JD could feel the steel against his nape. As Kate started making passes with the clippers, she said “is the inside of the cabin like a travel trailer”. JD laughted, and then said “the cabin is based on Keystone 1708 hideout”.

Kate continued to peel JD’s hairs, as she said “are you saying you build a shed, and then put a camper trailer interior in it”. JD didn’t like the way Kate said that. He was about to say something to her, when Taylor said “that is a smart idea”. Once Taylor said that, JD said “thank you”. He took a brief pause, and then said “it worked out well for me”. With out hast, Taylor said “I think it is an awesome idea. You get all the benefits of a travel trailer with the beauty of a traditional cabin.

When kate had reduced JD’s neck to just stubble, she said “the ability to move the unit is best benefit of a travel trailer”. Kate took a brief pause, and then said “clearly, you can’t move that cabin very easily”. As she began to work on the right side of JD head, she said “correct me if I’m wrong, Jonathan”. With out hast, JD said “the cabin can’t be easily moved”.

He took a brief pause, and then said “it sits on 4×6 posts”. Hair fell on the cape, as kate said “what inspired you to build it, if you don’t mind me asking”. JD laughted, and then said “country logic, I guess”. JD took a brief pause, and then said “my uncle had a 1970’s era trailer on his land that he wanted to get rid of. It had water damage. He gave it to me for free”

He took a brief pause, and then said “After people found out I had it, everyone one started telling me where I could get free pallets, plywood, and metal barrels”. I ended up going to the camping show with my dad. I saw a 1708. Right then and there, it came to me”. Just as kate was putting the final touches on the right side of JD’s head, Taylor said “I love the story behind that amazing place”.

As Kate began clipping the left side of JD’s head, she knew she needed to change the subject of the conversation. She could not stand to hear anymore about this ridiculous cabin. In an effort to change the subject, she said “do you have a job, Jonathan”.

With out hast, JD said “I work at the chicken factory in Corydon”. As Taylor took another hit of her cigarette, she wondered if today could get any better. She no longer had that awful hair on her head, and a guy that worked at the chicken factory was interested in her. In their area, the chicken factory was a good job.

Before Taylor could something, Kate said “how long have you been there”. As more of JD’s hair fell on the cape, he said “about 6 months”. He took a brief pause, and then said “I started 3 days after my 18th birthday”. After Taylor exhaled the hit of her cigarette, she said “I’m interviewing there on Thursday”. As Kate continued to peel the left side of JD’s head, he said “I would try for MRB pack out or marination”. With out hast, Taylor said “where do you work”. JD made eye to eye contact with Taylor, and then said “first shift marination”.

After JD said that, Taylor stubbed out her cigarette. At this point, Kate was done with the sides and back of JD’s head. As she hung up her clippers, Taylor said “do you like it there”. Kate was putting gel in hands, as JD said “it’s alright for now”. Kate began rubbing gel into JD’s hair, as Taylor said “what do you really want to do”.

When Kate started brushing JD’s hair, he said “I’m in the process of starting an online business”. When every remaining hair was standing straight up, Kate grapped her clippers. As they come to life, Taylor said “what type of business is it that your starting”. The rode over the comb, as JD said “I want to sell used tail lights in online market places”.

Taylor knew very little about selling stuff online, so she said you tell me about it on the drive into town”. As Kate was finishing up JD’s haircut, Kate said “based on all your bruises, I would feel comfortable shaving your face”. She took a brief pause, and then said “if you come back in a week, we can take your facial hair”.

Kate’s heels clacked against the floor, as she walked to hang her clippers up. When she had them hanging up, JD said “I completely understand your concerns”. As Kate reached for her pack of cigarettes, she said “do you think he look better, than he did when it come in”.

As Kate pulled one out the pack, Taylor said “yes”. Taylor got up the waiting room chair, as Kate lit her cigarette. After she exhaled her first hit, she said “I’m going to need to see ever two weeks to keep this look up”. With out hast, JD said “I don’t think that will be an issue”.

Taylor looked at JD’s facial hair, and then said “I think it’s looks kind cool all wild, against the fresh haircut. As Kate removed the cape, she said “well, that good. Seeing as your his date for the night”. As JD got out of the chair, he said “I hope your still interested in going out with me, tonite”. Taylor laughted, and then said “pay the lady, so we can get out of here”.

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