I Am an Addict

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“My name is Susan and I am an addict” I said proudly.

“So you may be”, the woman in front of me answered “what’s that got to do with me? Is that why you buzzed your head? Have a coke test coming?”

“Oh, no, not at all” I replied. “I’ve got a headshaving habit you see”


“I’ve been here a three years ago to get my body hair permanently removed, you probably don’t recognize me, I had long blonde hair then”

“I see,  I hope you haven’t come to complain or have a touch-up. I’m booked solid full today. In fact I have a client in 15 minutes”

“That’s me Susan MacIntory, I booked three sessions. And if I needed retouches I wouldn’t be here”, I winked.

“Oh, so what can I do for you? You don’t seem to be in need for that amount of sessions if  you don’t need retouches”.

“I’m a bit nervous, I do need a smoke can I light one”

“You can smoke on the patio, if you don’t mind I’ll join, I could do with one myself” she said, “Follow me”

At the back of the beauty parlour there was a large french window, she slid it open.

We both sat at a table under a big beach umbrella, I took a cigarette and offered her one. She took it and all too soon we were puffing and blowing circlets.

“You see, when I married Dann two years ago I knew he loved bald women”

“And that’s why you shaved yours ?”

“No, No, Dann never asked or suggested any such thing. He loved reading haircutting stories before bed. It got him exited. This left me intrigued and one day I asked him what he was reading. He handed me over two sheets and said this was one of his favourite stories. It was about an couple taking a trip and he had a fantasy of her smoking and having her head shaved. Something to that extend”

“And that’s when you shaved yours”

“Kinda, we talked about it, I have a job as a corporate saleswoman, wholesale you know. I had just reached my target and was free for a couple of months, so I thought it would be fun to do something similar for summer. Dann has had a vasectomy when he was married previously, his ex- wife thought two daughters was quite enough, no need to keep producing for that son that wouldn’t come, so we have no kids, I had figured that in two months my hair would have a decent length to be presentable. ”

I offered her another cigarette. “Dann suggested we’d rent a cottage by the sea for the period and that he would do the shaving, he always wanted to shave a woman and afterwards make passionate love to her. I was glad to agree as I didn’t want to do that in a barbershop. He’d suggested I’d smoke those long thin cigarettes for women and I was shocked. I never liked smokers, Dann doesn’t smoke at all, so I wondered what that was all about”

“Yes, you gotta join them to get used to it” She looked at her watch, put out her cigarette and said, “Let’s get started, if you think it’s going to take three session we’d better move on”

I took a last deep inhale, extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray and stood up.

When we’d entered I proceeded to the black door on the left.

“I thought you didn’t need any hair removal”

“Oh I do,” I said while pointing to my head. “You see, I can’t stop having it shaved, so if it’s removed I won’t be able to, I really am addicted”

“Goodness gracious” she said as she opened the door, “Are you sure?”

“Quite sure, in fact I need to.”

“You need to?”

“Yes, it’s a bit complicated”

“If you’re sure, let’s go to work. So what do you need removed”

“All of it” I said confidently.

“All of it? Including eyebrows”

“Yes, and eyelashes if you please”

“I’m sorry Susan, I won’t do your eyelashes, I won’t take the risk to blind you. I’m afraid you need to epilate them”

“Alright then” . I sat on the massage table and waited for instructions.

She handed me some kind of pitch black swimming goggles. “Put on these and tell me if you see any light”

I placed the goggles over my eyes and everything is dark, “I can’t see anything with these on”

“That’s great, if you start to see light, tell me immediately. Now if you lay on your side I’ll start there”

“Left of right?” I asked

“Any will do, we got to do both”

I lay on my left side. I feel a cold gel being spread all over and near my right ear, almost up to the goggle band. A few seconds later the familiar clicking of the laser sounded. I took a breath, the first step to permanent baldness. “You see, I intended to let my hair grow after Dann shaved it off, but it felt so great, especially when he touches around my ears, I let him shave it every evening to start with, after a few weeks we added a morning session and before I knew it, it was time to get back to work”.

“Oh,  there’s were you got addicted”.  She pulled up the goggle band, “can you see anything, I had to move these a bit so you don’t end up with hairy stripes”

I tried to look, but couldn’t “Nope, still can’t see a thing”.

Another spread of gel and we were off again.

“And when I came back to work, everybody was nice about it, I intended to stop smoking too but I was hooked on that too. I found out a lot was decided in the smoking room which helped me get better leads and have more influence on the board. After a while I found out I got a lot more referrals as people asked for the ‘bald lady’, my sales just soared. So a week ago I got a promotion which implies I have to ”

She put the band back in the original place, “Other side please”.

I turn myself on the table. I have to readjust the goggles.

After I had positioned myself I continued, ” which implies I have to be away from home for long periods and if Dann doesn’t shave me, I’d end up with an ugly stubble and look like a skinhead. I can’t have that !”

“I can see that”, she spoke, “that’s a bit nasty”. She’d already finished with the top and was readjusting the bands again. “Is that alright”

“Yep, still can’t see a thing”

She repeated the work she did on the other side of my head, I relax and enjoyed it.

It didn’t take long before she’s finished. “You can get up now, I need to attach the face cushion”

“Oh, I do need a smoke can I pop out for a while”

“Sure, though cover your head and try to stay out of the sun”

I was happy to remove the goggles, she was just putting down some dark shades. I was handed a scarf “put this on, we don’t want you to burn”.

I had a smoke or two (okay maybe three) before I came back. There was a toilet seat kind of attachment to the table. I was instructed to lay down with my head in it. “Is that comfy?” She asked. “Here’s your blinds, put them on again” and she took the shades and put them on her nose.

I got up, took the goggles and put them on and put my face back in position. That wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Soon I’d relax and she started to rub the cool gel on the back of neck, that felt so erotic I almost purred from excitement. She moved the goggle band a little higher and continued applying the gel. Soon the happy crackling of the laser returned. After a while she moved the bands again and started rubbing the top of my head. The soothing sound of the laser and the cool feel of the gel made me drowsy, I almost fell asleep. All too soon, she instructed me to lay on my back so she could work on my forehead. I got op, moved the goggles over my mouth and turned. After I was blinded again, she finished my skull. “Are you sure about the eyebrows”, she reminded me.

“Yes very, very sure” I replied.

I heard a click and a buzz and before I knew something was chewing away my eyebrows. “I’ll do the rest of your face as well, can’t leave you with any hairs there ”

A few minutes later I was done and she took of the goggles.

“Pffw, I’m in need of some nicotine”, I remarked.

“Oh, you can’t go out now your face is done. We’ve got plenty of time left, let’s go upstairs to the flat, I’ll close shop and finish you there”.

She went to the front of the store, turned the close sign and locked the door. “We can’t smoke in the salon, but I’ve got a flat upstairs and that’s private”.

She took two bottles and lead the way upstairs. The flat was a very small affair, a living room with kitchenette, a table with a few chairs, two doors, I guessed one for the bathroom and the other to a bedroom.  On the table stood a half filled ashtray. My head was glowing and starting to itch and I started to scratch. “Oh no, don’t do that, I’ll fix that.” She sat me at the table and squirted gooey stuff from one of the bottles on my head. She immediately, started to massage my head all over. “Moisturizer”, she said, “brings back water the laser removed, that’s what making it itch”

I lit a cigarette and offered it to her, she gladly took it, put it in her mouth and kept on massaging my skull. I got a cigarette of my own.

“So”, she started, “You’ve never got to the story of your first head shave”

“Oh, ”  as I blew smoke, “when we had decided we would do it we went to the store to buy decent clippers. We also got some shaving cream. To my surprise Dann also took three cartons of Virginia Slims, just because they’re so elegant. I remember hoping he would skip that part, we never smoked, we didn’t like smoke”

“You told me that before”

“Well, we were hardly at home and Dann got me to the veranda, opened a pack, gave me a cigarette and lit a match. That was my first cigarette, one inhale and I was coughing like mad, I posed and I saw the glee in his eyes. He gave me the packet and told me to continue, he’d have something to do. When he came back he told me to pack, we’d be leaving early next morning, he had booked a cottage by the sea.”

“Wow that was fast”

“Exactly. I didn’t sleep that well that night. I was tossing and turning, thinking I’d just had my hair done, wouldn’t that  be a waste, but than if I postponed my hair wouldn’t have grown long enough, so the quicker it be over, the better. I found myself going to the veranda and smoke another cigarette.  We left very early next morning, Dann stopped regularly and made me smoke. By the time we neared our destination I was looking forward to these stops.”

“They are addictive”

“Don’t you know it. So by the time we arrived, I’d already gone through two packets. When we arrived at the cottage it turned out to be a shabby little thing, just one room and a bathroom. Dann immediately put a chair in the little bathroom, told me to undress and sit so we could start. I felt so nervous, when I heard the kick of the clippers starting up, I got so nervous I got up and almost went smoking a cigarette in the nude. Dann stopped me and we agreed I was not in a state to have it done without something to soothe me like nicotine. As I couldn’t smoke in the cottage, Dann decided we should do it on the porch. Unfortunately the cord of the  clippers we bought wasn’t long enough so we needed to go shopping. I didn’t have much time to dress, so I just put on an easy knee length white dress, no time to put on underwear, put some flip-flops on my feet and off we went. There weren’t that much shops in the little village, so we had to search hard, we bought a one piece swimming suit. And just as we were browsing through the extension cords, Dann’s eyes fell upon a Panasonic AC/Rechargeable Professional Hair Clippers, so we bought that instead.”

“Wow, that’s a top brand, very good” she intervened as she lit me another cigarette;

“Well, we didn’t know. When we got back we found out that we needed to charge it, so we did. It said it would take an hour to load, but to be safe we waited two hours. I got into the swimming suit, it was a bit tight, Dann put out the chair on the porch. There was a beautiful sunset and people where strolling along the promenade. There was a cool breeze that played with my long hair. I didn’t hear the click this time, but felt the cold blades in my neck as Dann pushed the clippers up my neck. It sent a shiver through my spine. I tried to concentrate on my cigarette as Dann changed tactic, he placed the clippers on my forehead and pushed them through my crowning glory. The soft breeze blew away the strands of hair he had cut and in no time he reached the back of my head.  He went back to my forehead and starting from the newly created line shaved off the left side of my head, gently but firm he denuded the left side of my skull up to the top of my left ear. Next he came and stood in front of me, this was a bit annoying as I had to be careful not to burn him with my cigarettes. There he repeated his action on the right side this time. I was glad he moved to the back and cleaned up the neck. He went over my head with his hands softly touch my bare scalp to find any remaining hair that wasn’t reduced to a stubble. When he was satisfied he went back into the cottage to gathering the shaving gear. I had time to pause and look up and saw a small group had gathered on the promenade watching the spectacle we were providing, I saw some women with their hands covering their mouth in amazement, men who’s eye seemed to glitter in pure admiration. I felt like I had done something gutsy and ultimately courageous”

“So you did dear, I would say you did, in public and all”

“When Dann came back and lathered me, I found myself sitting up a lot straighter and more defiant! I was sucking in the awe from the spectators and blowing out the smoke in circles. I think Dann shaved me about four times. He cleaned up my scalp with a towel and massaged me with some oily stuff. He had hardly done and I stood up and bowed to my amazed fans. Back inside I told Dann how thrilling I found the voyeurs. This gave him an idea, he told me to put my dress back on, just the way I had done earlier,  I put some long earrings in and put my white high heels on and then he paraded me over the promenade as a prize possession, not bothering if the soft evening wind tried to blow my skirt up. The next evening Dann shaved me on the porch again. It became a show with a faithful crowd of admirers. By the time we returned home, we’d seen quite a few bald headed ladies, often people came to borrow our clippers, there even was a hot babe that came and asked Dann to shave her head, I had to intervene and proposed I’d be glad to do it for her – which made her less interested”.

“You sure were adventurous !”, she said, “are you still?”

“I think even more” I replied.

“You see, I wanted to put loads of sunscreen on your head and face, your skin is very pale and you really need to be very careful the first few days.  I’ve got a better idea, I’ll give you another rub of moisturizing cream and then dress you in niqab. Not so long ago a lady left that behind after her haircut. I think she ran away from her husband”

Not much later I was walking home in a black niqab, I could see people stare at me. I like people staring at me !




That was five years ago. Today I’m back in my hometown for the first time since the last session.  I’m wearing a sleeveless lilac dress that covers my 8 month baby belly and runs to just above my knees.  My matching cape is covering my shoulders. I haven’t put on my high heels for months and today I’m just wearing pink sandals. I walk with my man to the shop and I see her standing in her doorway, cigarette in hand. She sees me.

“Now, look who we have here, that’s been a long time”, she offers me a cigarette.

I open my cape and she sees my belly, “No thank you, I’ve stopped years ago”

“Because of..”

“No, no, I haven’t smoked for nearly three years now”

“Wow, and see you, a mum to be”, she turns to my husband and says “Well, Dann, looks like you’re gonna be a dad once more”

“Oh silly, that’s not Dann, that’s my new husband, Greg, and well, it has been a real journey !”



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