When I ascended the throne I refused to pick just one consort, because I didn’t want to get dragged into any political alliances against neighboring kingdoms. My realm is small and does not have a strong military. My best option was to maintain neutrality. Choosing a prince from another kingdom would upset the balance. On the other hand, I needed at least one daughter to succeed me. Thus it was that I had a large harem added to my palace.
I chose four young men to start my harem: Edward, Satoshi, Jeremy, and Kieran. I thought they were the cutest of the single male courtiers. Of course, all of them were between five and ten years younger than me, putting them in their twenties. Unfortunately, the fashion among young, unmarried noblemen at the time of my coronation was to have long hair.
I was born in 1987. Right when I was a teenager first discovering boys, around the turn of the century, short faded ivy league cuts with the fringe gelled straight up and spiky fauxhawks became popular. I believe that the hair fashions among men when a girl is first discovering boys are imprinted on her, so that she finds those styles attractive ever after on some level.
As queen I was in a position to change the fashions. The quickest, surest way to do that would be to make this a part of the initiation or investiture ceremony for joining my harem.
On the big day, the four boys showed up at court in figure-hugging brocade and velvet doublets and tight leggings that would have left nothing to the imagination if their mid-thigh-length, loose hair weren’t obstructing the view.
“On this day the four of you who are of good family and have been chosen for your comely appearance and sweetness of disposition, are to become co-equal joint consorts in my royal harem. As such, there will be a ceremony to mark this occasion, a group wedding with four grooms. More ceremonies will follow in private afterward, once all parties have retired to the harem. Are you ready?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
I thought it only right to be transparent about what I was going to do. As far as I knew none of them had ever seen anything like this before, and of course I was making things up as I went along.
After the group wedding with four grooms and one bride—me—I led the boys into the new harem wing of the palace. They were nervous; so was I. I had never had a husband before, let alone four of them all at once. Even though I knew what I wanted to do with them, I was not really comfortable with the group nature of this new situation. Each harem boy would have his own room, for sure.
Once we had allocated rooms and installed the boys in each room, I realized that it was now up to me to initiate the proceedings. Perhaps I would start with Edward. It didn’t matter which of the boys fathered my heirs, as long as I could get pregnant.
I entered Edward’s room already in dishabille, my kit under my arm. “Hello, Edward. I thought I would start with you. Are you ready? I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I’ve never done this before. But I want to complete the initiation rite first.”
I led him out onto the private patio, which had gates on either side so that he could visit with the other boys if he wanted. The patio opened out onto an enclosed garden for privacy. I motioned to Edward to sit on one of the deck chairs. He sat on his hair and let out a little cry before trying again to sit down. This was exactly the trouble. I spread the large cape that I had brought around his shoulders, pulled his blond hair out from underneath, and inserted a tissue at his nape. There was no way I could possibly get frisky with him until all that hair was out of the way for good.
I gathered all of his long hair at his nape with my hand, tied it in a ponytail, then sliced it off with a pair of long shears from my kit. Edward had no idea what hit him, and I wasn’t going to make it easy for him, either. Now that I had reduced his hair to chin length, it would be easier to manipulate. I combed the side hair forward, hooking it up and over his ears, and parted the top hair on the right side before inserting the comb at his nape and snipping off everything that stuck out. In no time at all I had worked my way up to the crown of his head, so I put down the comb and positioned the scissor blades directly against his scalp to taper the bottom.
Once satisfied, I grabbed the hair on the right side of his head, twirled it in my fingers, and sliced it off at the root of the twirl. The bottom half of his ear was now exposed. I then inserted the comb halfway down and worked my way up, then inserted the comb lower and lower until there was almost no hair left covering his ear. Now for the fun part—pulling his ear down and out and snipping all the way around it.
After I switched the part in his top hair and repeated the process on the other side, it was time to tackle the top. I grabbed all of it in one hand and sliced through the base with my shears, then used the comb to guide me in fashioning the crown part of the skull-hugging crop. The fringe would be one finger-width long when I was finished with it.
When I was all done with the haircut I ordered Edward into the shower while I cleaned up. I would save the severed ponytail. The thought of wet, naked Edward with short blond hair was truly pleasing to me as I settled onto his bed, my robe opened up to reveal that I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. When he came out I stroked his still-damp short hair, which now felt like an animal pelt. I had often fantasized about making love to a fox-man, and now I had one—at least, if I closed my eyes as I stroked his short hair, I could imagine him as a fox. The sight of me with my robe open seemed to do the trick for Edward, too.
Once I was finished with Edward but still a bit flushed with the afterglow, I re-belted my robe, grabbed my haircutting kit, and went next door to Satoshi’s room. He was waiting for me without any clue of what to expect. Satoshi’s black hair hung limply around him as he sat nervously, covering his lap. I debated caping him right then and there, but considering cleanup I decided to lead him out onto the patio.
He had no idea what I was planning when I sat him down, caped him, and began twisting up sections of hair out of the way. I tied off each section with a rubber band and snipped it off at the base. To my surprise, the now much shorter hair sprang up into spiral curls. His hair had simply been weighted down semi-straight before. This was getting interesting.
I inserted the comb at his nape and mowed my way up the back of his head before moving to the sides, carefully snipping around his ears. The top could be left an inch or two long so that it could still curl. I would cut each curl individually.
When I finished I began unbuttoning his top. He quickly caught my drift and helped by pulling down his trousers. I let him untie my robe, then backed him into the corner of the room. See, I was getting the hang of this.
I stopped by the kitchen on the way to Jeremy’s room to pick up some Jell-O. There was something I wanted to try. I still hadn’t decided exactly what I wanted to do with his hair, other than the obvious: cutting it short.
Jeremy was waiting for me on the bed, his long, slightly wavy hair fanned out around him like Lady Godiva. I smiled. If my experience with Satoshi was any indication, cutting the length would increase the waviness, perhaps even produce curls.
“Yes, you know what’s coming, but we don’t just jump into the main course. I have two types of fun planned for before that.” I grinned at him. Jeremy was clearly less innocent than the others, which was probably because he was the oldest of the group, in his late twenties. Still younger than me, though, thank goodness.
I moved him out to the wicker chair on his patio, just like I had done for the others. He didn’t seem to understand what I was doing as I caped him and pulled his long hair out from under the cape. I divided his hair into eight sections—one on each side, four at the back, and two on top—and braided them.
As soon as I had secured the tops of the braids with elastic, I fished out my scissors and snipped off each of the braids. I leaned down from behind to see Jeremy’s face. Good, suitably surprised. His dark brown hair was thick, as was his beard, which always looked like a five-o-clock shadow, even when freshly shaved. He had huge brown eyes that took up at least a third of his face.
His face was now in much clearer view, with most of the length of his hair gone. I decided to bust out the clippers. We would start with a number eight on his back and sides, and taper down. I gently pushed his head down onto his chest to begin cropping the back. Jeremy seemed to enjoy the hypnotic mechanical hum as I moved the clippers methodically over the back of his head. He giggled as I pulled his ears down and out to edge around them. There was no protest as I changed clipper guards and tapered his back and sides down, or as I shaved his nape with no guard.
Now for the top. I switched off the clippers and picked up the shears. I used the comb to help me blend the crown of his head into the back and sides, increasing the length as I came to the front. Jeremy would have a whole inch at the very front. A right Rapunzel. As I suspected, cutting off heavy length had produced more of a wave to his hair, so that I snipped each wave clump individually.
Wow, how beautiful he is with his hair out of his face and his lovely ears on full display! I sent him into his apartments to clean himself up while I cleaned up the mess I had made on the patio. The short hair would showcase his long, muscular neck.
When he came out of the shower wet and still naked, I smiled. I had chosen well. By this point I was on the bed, naked, waiting. As he watched I rubbed the Jell-O all over my body and invited him to lick it clean. The feeling of his tongue caressing my belly and licking around my erect nipples was like nothing I had ever experienced before. By the time he was finished with that, I was already moaning with pleasure, and more than ready for him to do his deed. This was a very satisfying encounter.
I wanted to spend the rest of the night with Jeremy, but I still needed to visit Kieran. We had the rest of our lives to explore what could be done in a harem setting, anyway. Maybe eventually we could all get together in my royal bedchamber. I realized that I was actually a high-libido woman, especially now in my thirties.
Kieran was brushing out his glorious red mane when I entered. As queen I don’t need to knock. I grabbed his long hair, which he had gathered in his hands, and used it like a leash to lead him outside to the patio. In my kit I already had saved the severed hair of the other three. It was time to complete the collection. I could have the hair from the four men braided into jewelry in nineteenth-century style.
I had never told any of the others what I was going to do to them, or how short I was going to cut their hair. They never knew that I needed their hair to be short before I could even consider doing my bedchamber duties for producing heirs. I wasn’t going to change that for Kieran.
He did not resist being caped and having his long hair sectioned and braided. Kieran didn’t know what was happening next, after all. It occurred to me that it wasn’t entirely fair that he had no say in his haircut, but I couldn’t change my policy now. I sliced off the braids before Kieran could understand what was happening.
Having made four braids this time, there was still some length around his face. The better to tease him with as I cut his hair shorter and shorter. I started by trimming haphazardly, point-cutting and thinning by turns, just so he wouldn’t have a clear idea of what I was doing. Kieran might enjoy the surprise. It was fun to see how deliciously bad the funny mullet-shag mod cut looked as I hacked at the top and fringe and left the sides and back long—for now.
Aha, I did indeed have a razor comb. Not just the kind that has a razor on one end and a comb on the other, but one that had tiny bits of blade between the teeth of the comb. I began “combing” Kieran’s hair from the crown towards the neck; when I reached his nape and pulled the comb away great tufts of hair came tumbling down. Kieran had no idea I wasn’t using a regular comb. I reduced the whole back of his hair to about a centimeter in length in this way.
I applied the razor comb to the sides as well, thinning the hair to the point where I could see the outline of his ears through the wispy canopy of hair still remaining. Regular shears would finish the job.
In no time at all I had given him a crude short-sides-and-back crop. Now for the clipper surprise. I decided on the six guard to mow down what was left of the top, giving his entire head a good going over. Kieran shivered when he heard the clippers burst into life, and again when they first made contact with his nape. I plowed up the back of his head, went up and down his sides, and then plunged into the front of his fringe. He would have gasped had there been a mirror, I’m sure.
When I was satisfied with the six, I began moving down the guard numbers to fade the back and sides. The top was now short enough to stand straight up, although it could perhaps be forced into a side part with enough product. I noticed Kieran giggling as I edged around his ears and cleaned up his nape with the trimmers. It must have been ticklish.
“There, all done. Now I have a clear view of your handsome face. Stand up and help me clean up.” When Kieran looked down at the patio floor, now covered in red hair, he gasped and began feeling his head. The initial shock soon gave way to a smile as I joined him in rubbing his head. I would enjoy rubbing his newly-shorn head with something other than my hand that night.
The expressions on the faces of my courtiers the next morning as I presented my four shorn consorts at court were priceless. Just as I had hoped, the men in my realm began adopting a new fashion for short hair. I produced not just one heir, but several children and ruled for many years, eventually adding a few more boys to my harem. Every single one of them kept his hair very short.