It’s All About the Money

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Linda and Joyce were discussing their kids, between sips of coffee and forkfuls of cake while across the table in the outdoor restaurant of the mall, Lucy sat surreptitiously wriggling in her chair.

“Ants in your pants?” whispered Joan next to her.

“More like bristles,” wailed Lucy, “I forgot to shave last night and now I am paying the price.”

“Fortunately that is something I do not have to worry about anymore. Shaving is such a bind, I started getting it waxed and after a while it just stopped growing.” said Joan, leaning in closer to Lucy.

“When did you start shaving?” asked Lucy.

“Just after my head was shaved.” Said Joan to an open mouthed Lucy, who was just about to say something when Linda and Joyce got up, saying they had to leave but they would meet again as usual. Lucy looked at Joan with a ‘please do not go yet’ look on her face.

After the normal farewells, Lucy turned to Joan, “Your head was shaved, bald?”

“Yes, totally smooth, why?”

Lucy ignored the question and just asked for an explanation. Joan raised a thin arched eyebrow.

“John is fascinated by women with very short hair and keeps talking about them, I guess it has worn off on me a bit. How did you come to have your head shaved?” she asked, rubbing her short blonde pixie and her dark, buzzed undercut.

“It is a long story, do you have the time?” questioned a puzzled Joan.

“Yes, yes.” Stammered Lucy eagerly.

“Ok then. When John and I were married we were both pretty young and life was one long party, lots of booze, weed and occasionally some serious stuff. One night we were all pretty drunk, and high. John had passed out and I was busy blowing his cousin Ned. Just as Ned was about to come, I looked over and saw that John had come around and was watching us. He did not say anything and let me continue, but the look on his face was not one of approval. We left soon afterwards, John not saying a word but when we got home he asked if I wanted a nightcap. Still not sober, I agreed and we sat a while before going to bed.”

Joan continued, “I woke up in the morning with the mother of all hangovers. John was looking at me as I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom and splashed some water in my face. I looked up into the mirror and got the shock of my life. I saw a bald woman staring back at me.  It took me a few moments to realise that that woman was me. I rushed back to the bedroom and attacked John, slapping whatever exposed part of him I could reach. He grabbed my wrists and held me down.”

In a sinister voice he spat out, “After last night I felt you were in line for a little punishment. You have become a real slut, you embarrass me whenever you get drunk, falling over men and acting like a real whore. Perhaps this small alteration to your appearance will cool you down and men may find your new look less attractive.”

“You drug me and then shave my head bald and that is your idea of punishment, and what do you mean ‘my new look’?” I screamed.

“Get used to it my dear, you will never have hair again, at least not while I am around, and you know what that means, don’t you?” he smirked.

“The truth and full impact of his words struck me and I nearly passed out right there.” I lay on the bed for a while, thinking and when I looked around John was not there. I thought to myself that, well if he wants me bald I will be bald, no cover-up, no hats, scarves or wigs and let him explain why his wife has a shaved head because with my dark auburn hair there is no way one could prevent a very noticeable five o’clock shadow, even after a very close shave. I decided right there and then that I would not let a bald head detract from my femininity. I would wear heavy makeup and shape my eyebrows to the high, thin arch I still wear.  I would also wear heavy hoop earrings in my triple piercings and show a lot of cleavage whenever possible……….”

“But surely John could not force you to remain bald, why did you not just leave him?” interrupted Lucy.

“Now that is another long story, but to cut it short, I got in with a bad crowd in my late teens and got into some trouble that would have landed me in prison for a long time if I had been caught.  John was around and managed to prevent me getting into trouble. He has used it as blackmail ever since, and that includes getting me to marry him.” Was Joan’s aggressive reply.

“You are not going to tell me what that was all about?” queried Lucy.

“No.” was Joan’s curt reply. “Do you want to hear the rest of the story?”

“Yes, please carry on.”

“Now where was I………oh yes, a few weeks later Ned came to borrow something, when he saw me he was speechless and while John went to fetch whatever it was, Ned just reached over and rubbed my smooth scalp. He asked what it would be like to get a blow job from a bald woman. I don’t know want came over me but I said that if he made it worth my while, he might just find out.  The next day he phoned me and made me a substantial offer for my services – which I accepted. Well, one thing led to another and soon I had several clients, some becoming regulars. There were variations which all included additional fees, I leave those to your imagination.”

“So you were actually making quite a bit of money from this?” asked Lucy, shaking her head.

Joan nodded, “Yes, and the more imaginative I got, the more money I made. So much so that I eventually had to take a safety deposit box at the bank because I could not just bank this unexplained income.”

“So how long were you bald, and what happened to make you grow your hair out again?”

“About eight years later John had a disagreement with a taxi over a piece of road in the city center. The taxi won. As what I thought would be a final gesture for John, I attended his funeral with a freshly shaven head under my hat and veil. A few days later I went to the bank to count my savings and I was amazed that I had amassed somewhere near two hundred and fifty thousand. On a whim I thought I might as well make it a nice round quarter of a million, so I went back to shaving my head, something I had become quite adept at by now, and I got back into my little enterprise with renewed vigour. About two years later I reached my goal and retired, and that is about the whole story.” Finished Joan.

“Wow, that is amazing, I love it, do you mind if I tell my husband this story? Asked Lucy.

“I suppose there is no harm in that, but perhaps leave out the bit about the money, you never know what worms come crawling out of the woodwork when money raises its head.” Said Joan. Lucy drew her fingers across her lips in a zipping motion.

On the first Wednesday of the following month the girls met again for their regular meeting. Lucy was late as usual, and nobody recognised her when she eventually arrived. Her normal pixie hair style had morphed into a short cut that was just all an over extension of her undercut, which lay flat on her head and barely covered her scalp. She wore large hoop earrings but sported two new piercing studs in each ear. Her eyebrows had been plucked into thin arches, as high as her eyebrows would allow, emphasised by a good helping of black pencil. Her eyes were darkened a smoky grey and her lips wore a heavy layer of very red matte lipstick. Her nails had been shaped into the stiletto style and finished in reflective chrome. Had it not been for her usual “Hiya girlfriends!” they would have thought she was a hooker who had got lost.

“How do you like my new look?” asked a pirouetting Lucy.

“In heaven’s name, what the hell is going on?” Came from the three amazed women. “You look like a ……..”

“We decided we wanted a new look and this is it, sexy, hey?” beamed Lucy.

A whole lot of responses were muttered, and the meet went on as normal. Linda and Joyce eventually got locked into a discussion about soccer moms and Lucy turned to Joan, “That was not the real reason for my new look, this is just the last step before I go all the way.”

“All the way?” asked Joan, knowing full well where Lucy was heading.

“Yes, you know, shaving my head smooth and bald, like you were.” Lucy rubbed her bristles, her silver nails contrasting sharply with the dark hairs, she smiled, “this feels so great, I can hardly wait to feel my hairless scalp. I am a little scared and want to wear a wig until I get used to it, and others get used to my look as well.”

Linda and Joyce took their leave and Lucy and Joan stood to say their good byes. Lucy said that she was in a hurry. She put her arms around Joan and whispered in her ear, “Thank you, you have given me so much encouragement, we will be forever grateful.”

Joan manoeuvred out of the way to avoid a kiss that would have deposited a liberal spread of lipstick wherever it landed, “Good luck, “ she whispered back. “You are in for a new phase in your life, you will be amazed at the self-confidence you will gain as a bald woman. You will see the world, and for that matter, people as well, in a different light. You can give the establishment the finger with a smile, and ditch the wig as soon as you can, you won’t regret it.”

Smiling slightly Joan thought to herself, “How gullible can people be, at least the part about the taxi and the insurance pay-out was the truth.”

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