Me and Todd have been together for 5 years and I feel like he ignores me.
”Do I look good?”
”Yeah, babe”
”Do you like my new dress”
”Yeah, babe”
Keep in mind, I’m in our bedroom and he’s chilling on the couch in the living room.
He dismisses my news of the day and blows me off when we argue, he usually takes the L and goes back to his couch and plays on his phone.
I want to punish him.
One date night, we dressed up and dined at a fancy restaurant called the Napoleon Grand Suite.
I talked as he munched on a breadstick and played away on his device.
A woman came up to our table, a barber’s cape draped on one arm
”Um…”,he said as she gathered my dirty blonde hair and used a clamp to set it to the back of my head.
” Oh, don’t mind her”, I dismissed him,”Anyway, my mother thought pineapples grew on trees”
He looked uncomfortable as the woman wrapped a cloth strip around my neck and draped the cape over me, people started recording the madness.
I continued to recount my silly tale as my hair was unclipped and Todd became increasingly worried as the woman produced clippers from her pocket.
I talked over its hum and Todd’s eyes widened as the barberette reached over to my hairline and proceeded to make a path down my scalp.
The look on his face along with patron’s were a mixture of surprise and powerful shock.
”So when we went to Hawaii, mother asked to see the pineapple trees”, I laughed as three quarters of my head were buzzed down,”Isn’t that hilarious”
”Yeah, mhm”,Todd squeaked, patting his hand on the table as to say check please.
I explained what a fool my mother was as my hairdresser was lathering cream on my head.
Patting turned to banging as Todd realized I was going bald but he didn’t have the guts to just get up and leave.
Then she kicked it up a notch, tiling my head back and spreading cream on my eyebrows.
I related another story of my mother to the ceiling as the woman finished my cut.
When my head was placed back towards Todd, he nearly took a spit take; choosing to choke on his water.
The woman took hold of my cheeks and moved my head to wipe off the excess cream and I did not stop my story.
The cape came off and she dusted me and my head off as Todd was silent and looked half-dead.
I concluded my silly mother tales and looked at him.
”Don’t ignore me again”
