Melanie’s Bowl Cut

Unbelievable. The entire day leading up to this point seems like a blur to me, but nevertheless here I am, at my trusted salon. About to ask my regular hairstylist and good friend, Angela,  not to lightly trim the ends of my signature long, carefully-maintained chestnut-brown locks, but to give me a bowl cut.

In hindsight, making that bet with my brother, Pat, was a stupid idea. He’s very much stronger in math than I am, and I hadn’t prepared at all for that physics test. I just desperately wanted to stop looking at his stupid mullet, and for some reason thought a “whoever scores higher on the test chooses the loser’s haircut” bet was the quickest and easiest way to put a swift end to his annoying haircut. Lord knows I was wrong.

“Melanie! It’s been a while. I’m so happy to see you!”

Angela’s enthusiastic greeting snapped me out of my slight daze. I muster up a small smile and unsuccessfully attempt to return the sentiment.

“Hey, Angela… it’s good to see you too…”

“Seems like someone’s in a bad mood today… whatever it is, I bet our usual trim-and-chat sesh will perk you up! Go ahead and sit down, you can tell me what’s got you down while I trim your ends.”

“Yeah… about that…”

I proceed to tell Angela about my predicament. Though she sympathetically listens, I can tell she’s secretly excited to give miss-just-the-ends-please a new style.

“Oof… not much a way to wiggle your way out of this, huh? A bet’s a bet. I promise you though, I know that at first thought a bowl cut sounds bad, but it can actually be a cute feminine cut! I know you’re probably done making bets for now, but I’d be willing to bet you’ll like the style! Let’s get started.”

Before I know it, Angela’s sectioning off a significant portion of my hair, pinning it to the top of my head. Deep down I know what’s about to happen next, but I futilely hope that I’m somehow wrong about this. My suspicions are unfortunately confirmed when I see Angela reach for a large pair of clippers, inserting an attachment to the monstrous device.

“I doubt you’ve ever experienced clippers before. Trust me, you’re in for an experience you’ll love.”

Without further warning, my fate is sealed as Angela plunges the machine into my scalp. Working her way around the back and sides of my head, she methodically removes all everything underneath the pinned portion of hair, leaving nothing but a velvety patch behind. Although I’m horrified, I can’t say she was wrong about the clippers. The unique sensation of them was oddly satisfying, despite their destructive nature. When she was done, there was a clear region on my head starting about two inches above my ears, where everything underneath was completely buzzed.

“Alrighty! With that huge bulk of hair gone, everything else will be much easier to work with!”

I wanted to cry. With every second that passed, the reality was further setting in that my pride and glory was getting ruthlessly demolished, and I’d have to live with it for a long time. How long did it take for my hair to grow to where it was before Angela started? I couldn’t even remember a time before I was growing my hair out.

“Let’s let all this pinned hair down… and voila! It’s like the clippers never touched your head! Isn’t that insane, Melanie?”

As devastated as I was about the damage to my hair, I couldn’t help but agree. Just looking in the mirror, I couldn’t even tell the difference between myself now and 20 minutes ago. I reached a hand under my curtain of hair, letting my hand brush against the back of my head. I was met with an unfamiliar velvety texture, confirming that it really was buzzed underneath everything. At this point, all my welled-up emotions are beginning to leak, and I can’t help but give Angela a snarky response.

“You’re right, Angela. It looks just like it did before. I think it’s because my hair is so thick, and I’ve got a lot of it, so it really covers up the irreparable damage you did!”

Okay, maybe that sounded a little more passive-aggressive than I intended. Angela looks a little hurt by my comment, and despite my bad mood I can’t help but feel guilty for lashing out.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Angela. None of this is your fault, I know you’re just trying to help me out. I’ll drop the attitude.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to apologize, Melanie. You really didn’t want this in the first place, and I’ve been kinda shoving the whole situation in your face this entire time. As scary as it is, you’ve been taking this whole thing like a champ, but I’ll shut up if you want me to.”

“You know what? It’s okay. I could tell you were excited to give me a new style, and as a friend I really appreciate that you’re trying to make the best out of a bad situation for me. I won’t lie, I hate the idea of having a bowl cut. But I already committed to it, there’s no point in sulking about it now. Go ahead and finish me up, I’m sick of dreading the result.”

“Will do, Melanie. And I promise, you’ll look great!”

After a brief rinse, Angela began parting out my hair from the center of my head, taking care so that it lied perfectly evenly across my head. A portion was combed over my eyes, obscuring my vision. Soon after, a pair of scissors was right above my eyes, and Angela began to cut. Soon enough, I could see again, and had the feeling of bangs gently ticking my eyelids. Working her way around my head, Angela continued to cut my remaining hair. As she cut, more and more of those fine bristles on the sides of my head became visible, and before I knew it, I had even lengths of hair all around my head, forming blunt bangs at the front and resting gently on the tops of my ears at the sides. Below this was nothing but short brown bristles, and although I couldn’t see it I knew that the buzzed portion continued a couple inches further up underneath my longer hair. It was a textbook bowl cut.

Waking up the next morning I almost forgot the events of the previous day. That is, until I put my hand to my head and felt a combination of hair ending way above where I was used to and velvety fuzz. Dragging myself out of bed, I briefly recounted driving home, briefly getting laughed at by my brother, then promptly crashing to sleep. Did I really doze through the whole night? I peered into the mirror, examining my new look more closely than I did yesterday.

Looking back at me was a girl I hardly recognized. I tried to muster up a smile, but it was kinda hard knowing that the bottom half  of my head was adorned with hair shorter than that of most of the guys at my school.

Oh fuck, I thought to myself, I have to go to school looking like this!

Checking my clock, I realized it was only about 5 in the morning. I had about 2 hours till school started to figure out how I would try to salvage any sort of style out of what was left of my hair. It had maintained its bowl-ish look pretty well in my sleep, which I guess was option 1 for a style. As it was now, I had bangs and evenly parted hair at the same length. Kinda how a bowl cut is supposed to look.

Well, all things considered, I guess I don’t look TOO bad like this.

I could look worse. Even without all my super long hair, I’d say I’m a generally good-looking girl, and I’ve got nice facial features. And as much as I hate to admit it, the bowl cut does look kinda cute on me. I’d still rather not go to school like this, though.

Next I tried combing everything back. Ugh. I guess it wasn’t an awful look, but there’s no way it’d hold like this. I’d need some styling gel if I wanted to do this. I should at least weight all my options before committing to this.

My next style was putting it all on one side.

Woah. Edgy.

Doing this showed off one of the buzzed sides asymmetrically against the thick mop of the rest of my hair on the other side. It was a bold option for sure, but I don’t think I’ve got the confidence for that.

Finally, I foolishly tried tying it all up. I was hoping I’d somehow be able to do this, since it’d be the most simple, inoffensive style possible. I gathered what I could into a little tiny knot, but a good amount of my hair, including about half of my bangs, didn’t reach it. I just didn’t have enough hair to get it all into even a tiny updo.

Putting away my hair ties in defeat, I let my hair back into the bowl cut style it just so seemingly naturally falls into. Giving myself another good look in the mirror, I realize I really don’t look half bad. Sure, it looks a little dweeb-y, but it’s also kinda cute. I guess maybe if I pick the right clothes and jewelry and put on some makeup, this really is my best option…

School was… not as bad as it could’ve been. Obviously, I got some weird looks, a few shocked reactions and forced-sounding compliment from friends, and noticeably less guys trying to flirt with me than usual, but all in all I survived, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting.

Before I knew it, a week passed. Honestly, the bowl cut’s been growing on me. I’ve gotten used to having short hair, it’s made getting ready in the mornings and showering a whole lot quicker, which has been a warm welcome. I’ve tried wearing my hair in a couple different styles, but the bowl cut just works best. It stays in its shape pretty well, even as I sleep, so it takes me pretty much no effort to style at all. And there’s something about the innocent softness of the style of the longer hair on the top of my head contrasting with the roughness of the buzzed hair on the back and sides that I kinda like. It’s taken some getting adjusting, but everyone’s gotten used to me with this haircut and I feel like I fully recognize myself in the mirror again. Call me crazy, but I think I might keep my hair like this for a while.

It’s been couple of weeks, and my hair’s starting to get on my nerves. The back and sides grew in really fast and are beginning to feel a little shaggy. My bangs are at the point of starting to cover my eyes, and I’ve had to start pinning them out of my face. It’s made PE class super annoying. Despite this, I still can’t get all my hair into even a little ponytail, which would make my life so much easier. I’ve got another appointment with Angela coming up soon, I can’t wait to get my hair cut.

“Well Melanie, you wanting to keep the bowl cut was the last thing I expected. I’m glad you ended up liking it though, it’s cute and suits you well! Let’s get you sorted out.”

Angela made quick work of the extra length that had grown off the top, soon enough I was seeing clearly again and I had that already familiar feeling of hair just barely tickling the tops of my ears.

Angela plugged in her clippers, and I was anticipating that nice buzzing sensation over my head again. As she reached for the guard, I stopped her and blurted out something I never would’ve expected myself to say.

“Hey Angela, can you do it without the guard this time? My back and sides grew a lot since last time, and I’d rather they stay shorter for longer.”

“Wow, Melanie! You really came around! I never would’ve expected this from you, but I’d be more than happy to oblige!”

This time, being right where I wanted to be, I was making pleasant conversation with Angela as she shaved away the back and sides of my head to stubble.

“See, Melanie? Didn’t I tell you you’d end up liking it? Having shorter hair has its perks, doesn’t it?”

“Actually, I’ve got a problem I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me with. I want to be able to tie all my hair up, it’d be an easy second style for me and it’d also help for when it grows too much before I can see you and I need it out of the way, but I just don’t think I have enough hair to get it all into one hair band.”

Melanie finished shaving my undercut and put her clippers down. She sat in deep thought for a moment thinking about my query, while I felt around my head, exploring this new, but nice sandpapery sensation with my hand. I was almost bald at this point, yet all I felt was excitement at how this it would wonderfully contrast with my bowl cut.

“Hmm… I’ve got an idea, but you might not be too on board with it…”

“Shoot, I’m all ears.”

“Remember how when I first cut the undercut portion of your hair, how unnoticeable it was after we put your hair back down? I think you were right, it was because you have very thick hair, and you have a lot of it.”

“Okay, what’re you getting at exactly?”

“Well, I think for the same reason, we’d be able to raise your hairline while keeping your bowl cut relatively untouched. If I raised your undercut higher and shaved a part of your bangs, I think your bowl cut would look look the same when all your hair is down, but with less overall hair on your head.”

“I dunno… it sounds like it makes sense, but would that really work?”

“Actually, we can test it!”

Angela reached for a hair tie and began gathering as much of my hair as she could into it. I had a tiny little ponytail coming off the top of my head, while the front half of my bangs section, as well as a small section of hair above my ears lining my head, lied down.

“Well, there’s your answer. Everything that’s not tied up right now would be —”

“Go for it” I said, without a second thought.

Wasting no time, Angela rearranged some of the sections of hair she made, no doubt evening it out. When my hair that was to remain was all pinned up again, Angela proceeded to shave the rest of my hair, raising the undercut on the back and sides even higher and annihilating about half of my bangs. When she was done, I had a much noticeably higher hairline, and my forehead appeared to end about an inch higher. All that survived was a tiny little ponytail poking out of the rest of my hair, which I frankly thought looked adorable. The rest of the hair on my head had been reduced to stubble. Angela disappeared for a few seconds, returning with a razor and a can of shaving cream.

“When you tie your hair up, it’ll probably look more natural if there’s nothing where those bangs used to be.”

While I wasn’t so sure about going this far, I decided I should trust Angela’s judgement. It’s worked out well so far, after all. She made quick work of the stubble where some bangs used to be, blending the area into my forehead.

“Now, for the moment of truth!”

Angela removed the hair tie, and just as I had hoped, my bowl cut came tumbling down, the remainder of my bangs and the rest of my hair naturally falling into its familiar position. As expected, there was almost no discernible difference between my bowl cut now and how it was before the drastic changes to my hairline, though upon very close inspection, my bangs appeared slightly thinner than before, a hint of my now significantly larger forehead just barely peeking through. While I didn’t exactly love the forehead enhancement, it was well worth being able to tie all my hair up.

“Just like I thought, the rest of your hair covers everything up really well! I don’t think anyone would be able to tell just how high the undercut is just by looking!”

“Wow Angela! I don’t even know what to say. You really worked your magic here, thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it, Melanie. You really pull off the bowl cut well, it’s always my pleasure to cut your hair. I’ll see you soon!”

————————————————————————

Well, it’s pretty much official at this point. It’s been about a year, and I’ve kept my hair this way the entire time, I guess it’s my new signature look. I’m the bowl cut girl. It’s crazy to think that just a year ago everyone knew me for my luscious long, brown hair. As a matter of fact, it’s not even brown anymore. I’ve been dying it blonde lately, I’m kinda obsessed with how the blonde hair on top contrasts with my natural color on the back and sides. Once they grow in, that is. Angela’s started just shaving my undercut completely bare with a razor when I visit, it works out perfectly so that I visit once a month, and by then the undercut is ready to be shaved and the top is ready to be trimmed, plus I love the feeling of my bare scalp. Then every other visit Angela re-dyes my hair. My parents aren’t too cool with the bald undercut or the blonde, I’m just lucky they haven’t found out I got electrolysis to permanently remove that pesky front bang section. Angela was definitely right, it looks more normal just when it’s bare. I got sick of seeing it after it regularly started to grow after my visits to Angela, so I started shaving it myself. Then I got sick of shaving it myself, so I took care of it for good. Sure, permanent hair removal was pretty daunting, but my bangs still cover it really well, and its worth being able to put my hair up. I’ve gotten pretty good at tying a few cute little mini-updos. Angela and I found that I could take my back and sides a little bit higher still, it’s honestly insane that I’ve still got so much hair that my bowl cut still looks so thick when my hair’s down, despite how high my hairline is now. I’ve got enough leeway now to make a little ponytail, bun, or braid, and they’re all so adorable! I’m still just a little bit self conscious about my forehead, so I don’t do the updos too often, but I’m getting more and more used to seeing myself with a bigger forehead, and I’m pretty sure everyone else is used to it by now. A year ago, I’d have thought myself crazy to be saying this, but I unconditionally love my bowl cut, and I’m proud to have it as my signature look.