Pankajneeraj
Desire for military husband
Things and men military always attracted me even when I was a high school girl, like most kids. And one of the attractions was the neat military haircut of soldiers. By the time I passed B.Sc. my liking for military only had grown further and I was fantasising marrying a handsome military officer. By the time I completed my B.Ed. and entered a nearby high school as a maths teacher, my desire to marry a military officer had become very strong.
A year passed and mom brought up the marriage issue on a rainy day in May, a day before the classes in my school began for the year. I told her that I would like to marry a military officer. She guffawed.
Mom: Being from a traditional Brahmin family, why ever should you want to marry a military man?
I: Why not? Are there no Brahmin military officers?
Mom: May be. But I doubt they will any more remain traditional.
I: What do you mean?
Mom: Look, military life is tough. There will be movement from place to place every two or three years. And military means lots of regulations, rules, etc. I hear that most military wives shed their traditional ways and adopt modern ways – dress, hairstyle, language, even food, etc. Will you like to do all that?
Ours is a traditional Brahmin family – father, mother, elder sister Pratima, elder brother Ramesh and myself, Padmini. We all were brought up with traditional skills – music, Sanskrit, bhajan, etc. apart from our studies. Of course we had modern English education also and my dad and brother looked like any normal Indian city male – pant, shirt, a neat crop cut with scissors. My sister liked to marry a traditional Brahmin who had good vedic knowledge and who sported a tonsured head with a shikha (tuft). Mom who initially guffawed at her request later acquiesced and she was married off to a Pandit in a Pathashala. She is very happy there and she adores the handsome face of her husband with his shorn head and a shikha.
I had beautiful waist long hair, like my mother and sister. Forget cutting it short, we never even trimmed the ends. Even as kids, we were not tonsured.
I: What do you mean by hairstyle?
Mom: They will make you cut it short – may be a bob or some such thing.
I: I will not allow it.
Mom: Do not be so sure. Permanency of marriage is the most important thing. The surroundings will make you change your mind. Once you get married, I would not support any marital discord just because of hair. Are you ok with it?
I got dejected. I could not move away from my dream of becoming a military wife. Nor could I contemplate cutting off my long hair any time. I told her that I would think over and tell her in a day or two.
Bald Kavitha
The next day the school reopened. I was surprised to find my friend and colleague, Kavitha (she teaches English), a Tamil speaking Iyer girl from Coimbatore, having shaved off her head in Palani and come to school happily without covering her head. She also had joined the school a year ago along with me after marriage to a Bangalore boy and had become a close friend. When asked she said that her in-laws had a vow of family tonsure after the marriage of their son. She had persuaded her in-laws to postpone it to a day sometime after completion of one year of marriage. They had accepted. And so now she had gone bald a day before. And I was surprised to find that she looked exquisitely beautiful even in bald head!
I: Don’t you feel shy going around bald?
K: What? Shy? No way. I have done this before and I enjoy a mottai head.
I (surprised futher): Oh, when was that previous occasion?
K: Immediately after 10th class and again after 2nd year BA – both in Tirupati. My marriage happened just two years after that tonsure and I had hair just long enough for a pony.
I: Will not others giggle at you?
K: Let them enjoy the sight of my bald head and giggle, who cares. I also giggle with them (she caressed her smooth pate with a giggle).
I (curious): Will you do it again sometime after it grows?
K: Yeah, sure. My husband desires that I keep my hair a short boy cut. And I also would like it. My m-i-l is also happy with it if I agree to shave off my head every year. I also like to do mottai often. So this will be an annual affair – going to some religious place and shaving off my hair (she giggled again). But why are you asking all these things so curiously?
I told her about my marriage preference and what my mom said about many things including hair style of military wives.
A bald Kavitha also guffawed like my mom. “You are a mad girl, Paddi (I am called Paddi – short for Padmini – by my folks and close friends). You want a military husband and you want to keep your braid intact! Just does not jell. Your mom is right. You will have to cut short your hair as per your future husband’s desires. If you want one thing badly, you may have to give up something else. And if you have to attend parties, do it happily. If you have to wear trendy dresses do it happily. If you have to drink wine or eat chicken, do it happily. When you marry someone, please do so completely; just merge into the groom’s family. Only take care not to do anti-national or criminal things. That way everyone would be happy.”
Somehow, I felt that Kavitha was speaking sane things – “just merge into the groom’s family”. I made up my mind then and there.
Back home, I spoke in a jubilant mood to mom.
I: Mom, I have decided to marry a military man.
M: In spite of what I told you may happen.
I: Yeah, in spite of any such risks. Rest assured that I will not complain. I will do whatever is required to keep the groom and his family happy as long as it is lawful.
Mom with a wide grin embraced me. Later that evening my dad was also happy about my decision. But how to find a military groom?
We went about uploading my resume in all marriage portals. We also started approaching some friends discretely. Four months passed. No proposals came. I had told mom that we have to give a two year time for a good search. Only if I do not get one within that time, I would agree to marry someone else.
In four months, Kavitha, who by now was in family way, had grown enough hair for a decent boy cut which she got done in a parlour. She looked really cute with her clippered back and sides and short crop on top which she could comb neatly. Her boyish hair style surprisingly jelled nicely with her other pucca female attire – nice jhumkas in the ear, a bindi on the forehead, a nose stud on the right nostril, bangles and saree.
I: Kavitha, you look gorgeous like this. Keep it up.
K: (with proud smile) My husband and in-laws also said the same thing. By the way have you been successful in finding a suitable match?
I: No but the effort will continue.
K: My m-i-l has a distant relation who has retired as a Commodore in Indian Navy and is employed in Chennai in a private engineering firm. His son is a Captain in Army and is of marriageable age. They are Tamil speaking Iyers and you are a Kannada speaking Madhva. Would you still be interested?
I: Language should not be a problem. We are vaishnavites, but if I am ready to do many non-brahminical things like cutting hair etc. the fact that the other family is shaivite should be of least concern. I would be interested, but it would be better if your m-i-l herself spoke to my mom.
Three evenings later, Kavitha and her m-i-l came to my house. Her m-i-l was a beautiful lady with a fair complexion, spoke fluent Kannada though their family tongue was Tamil. Her short hair (about 3 inches long) grown from the family tonsure four months before did in no way reduce her beauty. She told a few things about her distant Commodore cousin and his son in the army. Horoscopes and photos were exchanged.
My parents were ecstatic about the beauty of the mother and daughter in short hair. All inhibitions they had about a possible short haired Padmini almost evaporated. Mom gushingly told me that she never imagined that a boy cut lady could still look so feminine and beautiful.
I refrained from looking at the photo till the horoscope matching results came. And three days later, dad brought the good news that the horoscopes matched very well, 31 out of 36 points. And then I saw the photos of the groom, in uniform and in civilian dress. Oh, that attractive military cut with a thin moustache! So handsome! I should not lose this man, I thought.
Marriage Interview
On the Saturday evening a week later, the groom (he flew to Bangalore from distant Assam for the purpose), his mom, his Commodore dad and their married daughter came to our house to ‘see’ me. Lo and behold! The groom and his father are in immaculate military cut, nothing surprising about it, but his mother and sister are in boy cuts! The mother had her sides and back clippered closely and the top a combable mop. The daughter also had clippered sides and back but much higher up and the top was very short – unable to even comb – a veritable crew cut like men. And they looked so beautiful with that hair style!
I found the groom’s mother an amiable but no non-sense lady. Her words were very courteous but carried an authority no one could say no to. As usual, I and the groom Capt Thyagarajan had a personal talk. He was smiling, courteous but firm in his talk.
T: Good evening, I will be direct without beating around the bush. I aspire to go up in the military by good and hard work. So my wife should understand that and live accordingly – support my work, look after the household, look after the kids (I want at least three kids) and look after my parents after dad retires. My wife should stay home with my parents and me wherever I go. She should mingle with the military fraternity well and socialise enough to keep my stock up. Will you do it?
I: Socialise means what?
T: Dress in a modern military way, that is, saree with sleeveless blouse, short hair and I prefer a clippered boy cut like my mom and sis, speak mostly English and Hindi outside though Tamil is okay at home, attend parties, take drinks once in a while.
I (aghast, but not showing it): Will it also mean eating chicken and all that?
T: At home we are strict vegetarians. But in parties, we all take non-veg. Even mom does and sis used to before marriage. But after marriage she has completely stopped it. She is retaining only the short haircut and drinks when not pregnant.
I: Do you smoke?
T: Never.
I: At home what all you do?
T: We are highly religious and so at home, we do the regular Pooja, bhajans, festivals, gita pathan, hanuman chalisa, tulasi pooja, etc. But outside the house we are modern.
I: If I marry you, do you expect me also to eat non-veg in parties?
T: Of course. And while you cannot take drinks when pregnant, there is no such bar for taking non-veg food.
I: Do all army wives become non-veg and take drinks? Do all of them cut their hair short?
T: Not all. But their traditional ways outside the home quite often become a drag on the husbands and slowly pull them down in their career. I do not want to risk that.
I: Does your mom agree to all these conditions of yours?
T: She is also a military wife. She has done all these things when dad was in Navy. And she is happy about her balanced way of life – traditional at home, mod outside. And she fully supports my desire that my wife should also be like her.
I: Could I continue working wherever I go?
T: No. Only socialisation and some community work without affecting our family life.
And that ended our conversation. We came back to the elders’ gathering. (As I came to know later) His mom had told similar things to my parents – traditional ways at home – vegetarian food, Pooja, saree, Tamil, look after house, traditional values; mod outside – drinks, non-veg food, boy cut, parties, etc. She had added two things – if I accept the alliance I should learn Tamil fluently (to speak, read and write) and there would be a family tonsure at Tirupati once in two years which I cannot refuse. And of course, there would be no demand, now or ever, for dowry.
Family agrees for my transformation
The groom and his party left giving us a week’s time. We huddled together. Mom, dad and Ramesh who were enthusiastic initially were shell shocked. The plain language of the groom’s mother that I should take non-veg and drinks had suddenly unsettled them. Pratima on the other hand was keeping her cool.
Pratima spoke first.
P: Taking all things into consideration, I suggest we accept this alliance.
Dad: Are you mad or what? Paddi will have to eat chicken and drink whisky. Is it okay for you?
Mom: Pratima, are you out of your mind or what? How can we push our daughter into such an alliance where she has to throw away many of our traditional things?
R: You are right mom. Akka is thinking in a way which I cannot support. Let Paddi choose another military man where she need not do all this or let her forget about military and settle for a city man like most girls.
Now Pratima spoke at length and others listened uninterrupted. She could convince them that if one wants to live a Kshatriya type of life all these things are not only okay but desirable. And if Paddi wants to live a Kshatriya type of life why not? The entire episode made me respect Pratima more than ever, for her incisive analysis of the situation. Then she spoke to me herself.
P: Paddi, what is your thought?
I: Mom and Dad, I do not understand why you people are reversing your stand now. You were upbeat when I decided on this route. I feel the boy and his parents are okay. If I desire a military wife’s life, I will have to forego some other things I have been doing till now. I cannot have everything. I think we should agree for this alliance.
D: Paddi, are you sure? Will you be able to cope with non-veg food, drinks and all?
I: (remembering what Kavitha had told about merging into the groom’s family) Yes dad. I will cope with it, if it brings happiness in my life and in the groom’s family, which will be my family once I marry into it. More than anything, the boy’s handsome figure, his cute military haircut and a military wife’s eventful life is drawing me towards the alliance. His mother seemed a straightforward lady which is easy to deal with than with crooked ones (say something and do differently at the back). After seeing the cute haircut and bald head of Kavitha I no longer despise those things, rather long for it. As for taking drinks, many city ladies are doing it on the sly. What if I do it openly? As for non-veg food, most Bengali Brahmin families are non-veg by tradition. I would be able to handle it.
Pratima let out a benign smile. Other three kept their silence for a while. After several minutes, mom smiled and said she supported Pratima. Then one by one, dad and Ramesh also caved in and with smiles they agreed for the alliance. I was ecstatic.
In the next few minutes, the reluctance changed to positive acceptance. Mom hugged me and happily said “Go ahead and enjoy”. Mom made sweets for the dinner. Dad conveyed to the Commodore by phone that we had happily accepted the alliance and Padmini would merge into their family well. Ramesh started ragging me straightaway on many counts ably assisted by Pratima. Mom and dad also started teasing me – on bald head, boy cut, chicken, whisky and what not. Since only elders were there, Pratima made some below the belt jokes also and all had a good laugh.
Half an hour later, the boy’s mother (her name is Gayathri) spoke to my mom and expressed happiness that we had accepted. She said they also had accepted the alliance happily. Thyagu has to go back to work. They have decided to cancel the Chennai tickets, stay back and talk things further tomorrow. Mom said yes.
My first ever mottai
Next day morning the party came to our house again sans Thyagu and had breakfast with us. Next Sunday we should visit their house in Chennai. We agreed. Two weeks from now, a low key Engagement function may be held in our house. Thyagu would not come for that and strictly speaking it was not necessary. It was essentially a function for the parents. We agreed. Marriage could be held around 8 to 9 months hence since Thyagu would not be able to get three week’s leave till then. It was okay for us. Gayathri said that since I had never cut my hair till now, it would be sacrilege to cut such virgin hair in beauty parlour or barbershop, so she suggested a mottai in a religious place for me immediately after the Engagement. For a brief while, we were all dumbstruck.
The silence was broken by Thyagu’s crew cut sister Triveni who said that in seven months I would have enough hair for a nice bob cut for the marriage which will be reduced to a boy cut for the party at the military base. Having agreed for the marriage, we would agree for almost anything. I happily agreed to get a gundu at Tirupati immediately after Engagement. Gayathri further said that I should start talking in Tamil only with them, however bad or wrong. I said yes. Kavitha would help me in this.
At the military base party, I should be a pro and should not chicken out looking at non-veg food and drinks. So I should start training on them immediately after Engagement. If there is nobody to train me here, I could stay in Chennai for three months in their house and they would train me. Anjali was a close colleague of mine and she was from a very rich non-veg business family. I would take her help in getting that training. I told them that I would manage that.
Our visit to their house in Chennai and the Engagement happened in the next two weeks. The following Saturday, we all – dad, mom, Ramesh, myself, Pratima, her two kids – went to Tirupati. We went to Kalyanakatta with three tickets. Dad, Ramesh and I were shorn bald. It was good bye to long hair forever. Oh! What a sensation it was getting scraped bald! No wonder Kavitha is eager to do it frequently. Anyway I also would be doing this frequently. Nice! All said that I really looked good with my bald head. We sent the photo of my bald head to Thyagu and his parents who appreciated my bald look. Like Kavitha, I also went to take classes with bare bald head and enjoyed it.
My Tamil lessons had earnestly started with Kavitha the day after the groom’s party had come to see us. By the time I went to Tirupati, I could speak a few sentences in Tamil. Within two months I was fully fluent in Tamil. I lost no opportunity in speaking it. Within another two months I was fluent in reading a Tamil newspaper.
Initiation to non-veg and drinks
Two days after I came back from Tirupati a baldy, Anjali took me to her house for initiation into chicken. That day she served me home cooked chicken and taught me to eat it. Initially it was very difficult to adjust to the smell. But I had made up my mind so I could manage it. She took me to her house once a week for this purpose and in three months I could relish eating chicken, fish and mutton. She advised me that at least once a fortnight and preferably once a week I should eat something non-veg, else I may lose the touch. Till a week before my marriage, I was a weekly visitor to her house for a good non-veg fair. She never took it in a negative way, rather she was happy that she converted a brahmin girl to non-veg.
At home, my folks never ill-treated me for having become a non-veg girl. I was equally allowed to enter the Pooja room and touch the idols but only after a taking a bath. Hats off to their large heartedness.
A month after I had begun non-veg food, Anjali introduced me to drinks in my weekly visits. Her husband, herself, f-i-l, m-i-l took a dose of it almost every day at home and an extra dose on weekends. In two months, I was comfortable in taking beer, whisky, wine, rum and vodka.
In seven months, my hair had grown to about four inches – too short for neck level bob cut but long enough for a mid-ear level bob cut. And I got it cut that way in a beauty parlour, with the nape being clippered bald as an undercut to top of the ear. A viewer from the rear could see the bald nape till the middle of the ear. Seeing the photo, both Gayathri and Thyagu complimented me.
Marriage and boy cut
A month later, the marriage happened. Ten days before the marriage I stopped taking non-veg and drinks. Two days before, I got my cute bob cut renewed at the parlour. The groom’s party was really happy on seeing my bob cut with nape undercut. The first night was held on the same night in my parental home in Bangalore. Two days later, a small reception was held in Chennai. The day after that we went off to Munnar for a three day honeymoon where I started again on non-veg and drinks.
Back in Chennai, Thyagu took me to a barbershop! I asked why. In army, I would be getting haircut in military barbershops only, he said. He got his brand crew cut renewed. He asked the barber to give me a boy cut with clippered sides and back. Oh! For the first time my sides also experienced clippers – first no. 2 and then no. 1 and then 0! I had a nice boyish cut, very short on top, clippered bald on back and sides to about an inch above the top of the ear!
I spent the next two weeks in my in-laws’ home. They were very happy with my preparation – Tamil, non-veg food, drinks, boy cut. The additional things they taught me was to enjoy open below the belt talk. The interpersonal behaviour of my in-laws was very good and I understood that I had entered a cultured family. The in-laws take a drink every night in the house and go out once a week for a non-veg dish. I also happily merged into this fair.
I entered the base in Assam to a rousing reception from other military wives. In two weeks the growth on the sides and back of my head was about quarter inch. My m-i-l took me to the barbershop for trimming her and my hair. M-i-l wanted a crew cut for herself. The barber did the job dutifully. He ran the clippers first on m-i-l’s head to give her a nice crew cut, half inch on top and bald on sides and back to about two inches above the ear. I was given a nice boy cut with the sides and back reduced to bald to about an inch above the ear and the top one to one and half inch long.
Tipsy Paddi
The same night, there was the reception party. I wore nice jewels, a sleeveless blouse which revealed almost all my back and a nice saree. I shook hands with everyone and some hugged me. Then dinner. I chose whisky for the drink and I ate mutton and fish which were very tasty. The entire gathering was appreciative of my boldness in taking whisky, mutton and fish. I now understood the logic behind Thyagu’s desire for what I was doing now.
The atmosphere was such that the other army ladies and my m-i-l manipulated me to take sufficient whisky to make my tipsy. And I came out of my inebriated stupor only when a fully naked Thyagu was pressing my bare breasts in our house. I had passed out due to more than necessary drink and the ladies had gleefully carried me to my bedroom. After I came out of my stupor, a happy Thyagu prepared me further for a great sex and then thrust his 8 inch pecker in my cunt. He fucked my brains out that day in several positions over the next three hours. M-i-l advised me to get this high only once a year. I do it happily once a year by downing four to five drinks of whisky, though my daily dose of whisky is just one drink.
It is eight years since my marriage now. After Assam, I have been in Karu, Jodhpur and now in Pune. Thyagu is very happy to have got the wife he desired – religious at home and mod to core outside. He is now sure that he will make a mark and climb high. As per m-i-l’s wish we do biennial Tirupati gundu and I enjoy that also. A clippered boy cut is my brand haircut. In eight years, I have given birth to four kids – two boys and two girls.
I am really happy being a military wife. Every moment of the tough and varied life – be it to help a distraught lady, helping jawans’ wives with various things, teaching children lessons, Sanskrit, yoga, music, etc., tending to my in-laws who have joined us, tending to my four kids, eating chicken or mutton in parties or taking a daily dose of beer or whisky or wine at home or getting a gundu or making below the belt jokes in army wives’ parties – is so enjoyable.
I also enjoy giving my f-i-l and m-i-l crew cuts at home. M-i-l happily shifted from boy cut to crew cut after my marriage if I was ready to do the honours. I was ever happy to do so. Really the life is great and I thank my parents, Pratima, Kavitha, Anjali on one side and my in-laws on the other side, the great beings that they are. And of course, Thyagu my dream husband who is a reality. Once a year I spend about two weeks with my parents. They are very proud of what I have become. At that time I make it a point to go to Anjali’s home for a non-veg fair and drinks and get a nice clipper cut in the barbershop where my brother and dad go.
Ramesh’s wife also has boy cut
Ramesh married Priya four years ago. At the time of marriage I was freshly bald from Tirupati – our biennial gundu programme. Priya became very much attracted to my bald head. She has appreciated the circumstances under which I became a non-veg and drinks lady and respects me for that. While she has no plans to tread that path, she has persuaded my mom, dad and brother to allow her to get biennial gundu like me and keep a clippered boy cut like me. And she has got the permission. So a month after her marriage, she got her first Tpt gundu and recently she had her third gundu. In between she gets a nice clippered boy cut like me.
And the monthly clipper cut I get in the military barber shop gives me one of the greatest kicks. The clipper running up the nape and sides and mowing the month long growth to skin is a sensation nothing can replace. While most other military wives have bobs, pixies, scissored boy cuts, etc. I am the only military wife who has a closely clippered boy cut wherever I go and after initial giggles I am appreciated very much for it.
