This is my first story. It is a story about myself.
Months ago my head was bald and shining. Every day, I shaved it with a straight razor and cream. Every day I looked the same. It started when I suffered from alopecia and trauma’s. The last three months, I didn’t shave it anymore. It looked like my bald spots had disappeared. It grew very fast. Every day, I knew it grew a fraction of an inch. I knew it because I shaved it smooth before.
My hair got longer and longer. It didn’t feel right. It hurts to grow my bald look out. I didn’t recognise myself anymore. I loved to see the colour, after 1,5 year of seeing skin. But my anxiety also grew. The anxiety someone could grab my hair and force my to do something I do not want to. Someone having control of me, by holding my hair in a iron grip. I felt it when I walked out, in the supermarket and at my work. The fair grew like my hair did.
Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore and set an appointment with a hairdresser. One I didn’t knew. I was afraid he only cared about my hair and how thick and full it was. Everybody around me is positive about me regain hair. Everybody but me. I felt the pressure, being someone others want me to be, having my curls back. Would the hairdresser be like everybody else, judging me. I went in, my heart was pounding in my chest. Saying hey was difficult. He saw the struggle. ‘Please sit down.’ Every step was hard. I made it to the chair and sat down. ‘What can I do for you?’ I would like a crew cut please, I answered. The hairdresser took it’s iPad and showed my a picture of a super short haircut. I felt my excitement. I think he saw it. ‘I call it a very short shaved up haircut. Shall I begin?’ Yes please. At first he took his scissors and hold my hair on the top between two fingers. And started cutting the top shorter and shorter. I felt a smile appearing. The hairdresser looked into the mirror and smiled back. He worked very fast and the top was reduced with 1,5 inch, with 1/2 inch remaining. Without saying a word, he took the clippers. He changed the guard and I was wondering which guard he took. He flipped the clippers on and it more a zooming sound. I missed that sound. He went to the back of my head and started shaving the back of my head.
I see how much hair felt of the clippers. Relieve was what I felt. Time after time he guided the clippers to eat my hair away. I relaxed and enjoy the feeling. After the back, he went to the right side. I sew how short it was, #2 I think. This men understands what I wanted, without hesitating he worked around my head. Leaving my with a fine stumble, except the top, it was slIghtly longer. The shave up was the next thing, make it go evenly longer. But the backside of the top was barely longer. Only the front was a little bit. I lost a burden that moment. He feels what I want. I don’t have to tell he I got crazy of my ‘long’ hair (2 inches), my anxiety. He just gave me a very short haircut. Very short with a small feminine touch.