Pankajneeraj
Mangala finally agrees for family gundu
I am Parineeta, 38. I am a high school teacher of social sciences. My husband Nageshwar, 41 is a PSU officer. My f-i-l Vamsikrishna, 66 is a retired state government officer and m-i-l Vasanti, 62 is a retired Head Mistress of a government high school. I have three children, daughters Sneha 16 and Prema 12 and son Badari 14. We are an orthodox middle class family living in Hyderabad. My relationship with my f-i-l and m-i-l has been excellent from the beginning. We take all available opportunities to pull each other’s leg once in a while and have a good laugh.
We never had the practice of tonsuring in my parental house nor in my in-laws’ house except for kids below five and for some gents during bereavement. And after I came to this house as d-i-l, my f-i-l shaved his head only once – for the post-funeral rites when his mother passed away at the age of 80. That was 11 years ago. His father had passed away two years before I came to this family in 2002. Of course, we went to Tirumala for the mundan (head shave) of each of my three kids at their age of 2 and again at 4 – four times in all.
Somehow I got attracted to bald heads of both male and female during such frequent Tirumala visits. A month before we set out for Prema’s mundan when she completed 2 years, and that was in 2009, I casually suggested to my m-i-l “Amma, this time can the whole family shave our heads in Tirumala – a family gundu?” She gave one of her rare angry looks at me and said “Pari, have you gone out of your head? Such things we do not do in our house. Cutting a grown up female’s hair is out of question in our house unless she is a widow. Your f-i-l would have shouted at you if he hears what you have said.” Chastened, I did not raise it again. But I had a desire to see my beautiful m-i-l and myself as happy baldies. I silently wished that a good opportunity came for that.
Around that time I came to know of the practice of ‘venidaan’ in Prayagraj (then known as Allahabad). Getting some interest in it, I read more about it. It was described that it is highly auspicious for everyone – male, female, married, unmarried, suhag, widow, etc. – to cut his or her hair on a pilgrimage to Prayag. Only thing was a full mundan with a small tuft was mandatory for males while for females mundan was also good but an option was given to cut off just as much as she desired. My senses brightened. Why not have a family gundu there in Prayag? But I sensed that the time was not ripe to bring that up and sighed. A few years passed like this. But I had started to set apart a separate fund for a Prayag ‘venidaan’ trip, whenever that would happen, from whatever savings I could achieve.
My colleague and friend Mangala’s m-i-l, Malini, is a beautiful lady like my m-i-l, housewife and may be 2 or 3 years younger. She had nice black hair upto her bum. Because of my friendship with Mangala, my m-i-l and Malini aunty also became good and close friends. In April 2011, their family had a family gundu at Tirumala. Mangala also had got her head shaved along with her f-i-l, m-i-l, husband and her two sons. Mangala and her m-i-l looked really cute as baldies. When she saw the beautiful bald head of her friend Malini, my m-i-l forgot all about her opposition to female tonsure and lauded Malini and Mangala saying they looked really good.
Mangala had told me then that the family tonsure was a pending vow since the birth of her first son taken by her m-i-l. Mangala had resisted it not willing to cut her midback hair. But her m-i-l had prevailed upon her and finally gave a directive in April ‘11. Mangala had no choice but to fall in line. But she took it well and after the head shave she felt very good and said ‘a thank you’ to her m-i-l. Suddenly she had fallen in love with a fully tonsured head. She asked her m-i-l “Amma, can we do this gundu once in a while? It is such a nice feeling to have a gundu head!” Malini aunty said “Let us see, dear. First let the hair grow back”. In two and half years the hair of both had grown to their mid-backs which they made into beautiful single plaits.
(To be continued)
