From the old neighborhood.
When I was growing up we had that one kid that was always tattling. Starting crap and then acting like it we started it.
Ours was a girl who lived across the street. Her name is Kelli. She always had long curly hair. Being in the late 70’s of coarse it was unheard of to cut a girls hair short.
The neighborhood kids. 2 boys 2 girls and I was playing a simple game of tag football in the cult-de-sac that we all lived in, when miss drama queen Kelli tripped and skinned her elbow. She ran in her house and told her mother that one of the kids had pushed her down in the street.
Well the last thing you wanted in the 70’s is getting in trouble in the summer time.
The main form of punishment was the dreaded haircut.
Long hair was a thing then and no kid boy or girl wanted to hear barber shop or summer cut.
The mother a bitch her self automatically starts the calling and demanding that we all be punished for hurting the precious Kelli.
We gathered for a kid meeting in the middle of the field/street to get a plan together.
Little did we know but the parents were doing the same and it wasn’t going to be good. All the parents came out of the houses to the perspective front porches and called us over. When we arrived all but one had clippers and combs ready. We pleaded our case that she tripped and fell and it was no ones fault but it was the same as before. Sit in the lawn chair in the front yard (Facebook of the times) and get the summertime haircut no one wanted. The burr is what my mom called it. The neighbor mom
Called it the slicker. Results were almost the same. My brother and I was lucky. Mom had nicked us using the clippers with no guard so we got the #1. The kid next door was just shaved bald.
The summer before we all managed to make it though with only trims. Not this summer
With each pass of the clippers the shoulder length hair was shorn off to the scalp while Kelli watched in enjoyment. The other neighbor girl escaped the punishment. We all thought it was because she was a girl.
At least she wasn’t cheering on the hair massacre. In my head I can still hear Kelli as she said cut it shorter And look I still have my hair. Called us baldy and taunted us all summer knowing if we touched her or didn’t let her play we would just get a fresh new haircut.
Sometime had passed we all was in high school but living in the same houses no one move back then it seemed. The guys still hung out being only a year apart in age but the girls went separate ways. The oldest Kim mostly hung out with us. Matter of fact I ended up marrying Kim.
About six months into our marriage we ran across some pics of that day and Kim confessed to me that she was the one who pushed Kelli down so we all would get our summer cuts. Seems it was kind of arranged between them. They just got a bonus it was in the front yard where three crying kids had their heads shaved of the precious locks that took two years to acquire. She also told the moms that the boys had planned it out cause we hated Kelli. That’s when the light came on. Kim didn’t get any kind of punishment cause she lied on us for Kelli.
Kim laughed as she was confessing not knowing I had not forgotten about that day and how my mom in haste just ran those clippers over and over my head telling me if I didn’t straitened up it would be a monthly haircut. Then turning to my brother and running the clippers right down the middle while he was waiting his turn. I assume just so he knew he was next.
After two years Kim and I was divorced mainly because I had developed a haircut fetish and kept cutting her hair while she slept.
I thought it was justified considering her confession.
The high school reunion was upon us Kim and I were both single again. So we had been talking. The more she thought about it. She herself enjoyed watching haircuts or why would she have enjoyed that day so much.
We started plotting as soon as we spotted Kelly’s name on the list of going. We chatted her up on FB made her believe we were still friends but at the reunion we planned on spiking her drink with some everclear so she would make an ass of herself.
My plan was a bit different.
When the event came I had direct goals. Kim and I reintroduced ourselves to Kelli as she came in and said how much we had been waiting to see some of the old gang. I offered to go get drinks as a gentleman should. I put the plan into action. Touch of everclear in each of their drinks and a bit more as I got refills. The dinner winded down. Kim and Kelli was wasted so I showed them to the rooms the reunion had arranged for everyone. As we dropped off Kelli at her room we went on inside. Kim had the scissors in her purse and the plan was to wait for her to pass out and relieve her of those long bottle blond curls.
In just a few minutes both had passed out on the couch.
Now my problem was who first. Wasn’t really a hard choice. I went to the truck and brought up that old lawn chair I had been sat in years ago as well as my moms clippers with new blades of coarse. I woke Kelli up and helped her to the chair and strapped her in. I picked up all the hair my hand could hold and started crunching and slicing though it releasing it from her head. Letting it go and fall to her lap. I gathered up another large handful and chopped it as close to the scalp as I could. Placing it in the pile forming in her lap. She started moaning and shaking her head in a semi conscious state. I picked up the clippers placed them next to her forehead lifting up her bangs, whispered in her ear pay backs. Flipped the clippers on. The pop brought her eyes open wide. It was too late. The clippers were traveling down the middle plowing hair off the the sides like a snow plow clearing a road. With each pass she became more aware of what was happening and started shaking her head and begging no please no. Crying and struggling to raise her arms. I made the last few passes as she drifted back to sleep. I removed the straps and put her in bed naked and bald. I piled up all of her hair and placed it in the chair for her to see when she woke.
Then it was liar Kim’s turn. I took her to our room threw her on the bed. She woke but put up no fight as to what was going to happen. I always wanted to see her in the barber chair getting a forced haircut so I just made a few passes front to back and side to side almost like my mom did. Just so she would know what her upcoming appointment would be like. Then made love to her on the pile of hair that I had shaved off her head. The next morning she begged me to finish the job so she didn’t have to do it in public but I refused and took her to the barber shop for a public display. When she sat in the chair I told her now you know what the front yard was like. Then made her ask the barber to finish the shave. The clippers started humming, she was crying and hair was falling to the floor. It was the perfect reunion.
Kim and I never spoke again and I didn’t hear from Kelli until the twenty fifth reunion. Her hair was short and brown. She ask if I wanted my chair back and why Kim got special treatment? Handed me a key card and walked off.
I headed for the elevator clippers in hand.