Saturday Surprise!

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My wife and I were having breakfast at a local fast food chain when a lady with a super short Pixie haircut walked in and ordered at the counter. As always, I prefer short hair on my wife and I always encourage her to go super short with her cut. Ann glanced at the lady and said” I’ll bet you like her hair” and with a “heck yes,” I proclaimed, you should ask her where she gets it cut? Pissed as usual when the topic of her hair comes up, she said,”if you want to know so bad, go freaking ask her yourself, and stormed out of the cafe. As I cleaned up the table, I walked over to the lady and told her that my wife really loved her hair and wanted some information on where she gets it cut. Now this was totally a lie, but what the hell. She said her name was Gloria and that she actually was on her way to get her hair cut, and ironically worked as a receptionist at the salon. She said that her hair is usually much, much shorter than it was now, and that she just hadn’t had time for a cut in weeks. She gave me her card and said tell your wife thanks for the compliment..

As my wife and I drove off I told her I had spoken with the lady and gotten her stylists information. As I started to speak about how she needed a trim, Ann grabbed her phone and called the number on the card and inquired about an appointment. She made an appointment for the following week and turned and said “I hope that shuts you up for at few days at least.” Ann always prefers a shorter haircut, but many times comes out looking like a conservative older lady’s cut – I guess it’s her safe look. A few minutes later the phone rang and it was the salon calling to tell her that Carol had a cancellation for the next day and wanted to see if Ann was interested in the slot. With a bit of hesitation, Ann looked over  at me and said “Do we have time…..) Of course I offered, and encouraged her to accept the appointment!

The following day, we walked in to the salon, a receptionist (not the lady from the previous morning) greeted Ann, thanked her for being flexible and told her Carol would be up soon to take her back for her haircut. Soon, Carol, the stylist appeared and introduced herself to Ann and took her back to her chair. Carol was a middle aged, attractive lady with long black, thick hair. Her chair was only a few feet form the waiting area, and I could hear the conversation between the two. As they exchanged introductions, I saw the lady from the previous day, Gloria appeared  form the back of the salon with some towels in hand. Holy shit! When she said her hair was usually much shorter and that she was getting a haircut that morning, boy did she ever! Gone was the shorter pixie, and now she sported a clippered , almost flat-top like cut that was border line military. The back and sides were to the skin and the top was no longer than an inch long…

As I heard Carol speaking with Ann, I heard her tell the stylists she had seen Gloria the receptionist at breakfast and really liked the short cut. This is when I should have spoken up in retrospect. Thinking that Ann had actually seen the new super short cut on Gloria, I knew I should have weighed in and pointed out the looming issue. Carol told her how she loved lady’s with the shorter clippered cuts, and thought Ann would look stunning with the cut. She asked Ann how would your husband would like it, and Ann replied with “the sorter the better for him” Perfect! exclaimed Carol, as she took a neck strip and black cape from the rack. She spun Ann around to face the mirror, and ran her hand up her nape. Want to give it one last feel before we start,  asked Gloria? Ann smiled and sat silently in the chair.

Next, Carol pumped up the chair and reached for the clippers. Her next words were, “Nice and straight” as she positioned Ann in the chair. “Chin down” as she used her hand to press firmly on Ann’s head as to push her neck down. Ann’s face showed a bit of discomfort, as Carol fired up a huge set of clippers that sounded loud and in charge. With a few passes up the nape area and around the ears, Ann’s hair was on the floor! She continued cutting for what seemed like an eternity, and I bet it felt like that to Ann. Within minutes, Carol had given Ann a clippered crew cut all over, with no part being longer than an inch or so… Carol picked up her cell phone to take a call and Ann peered over at me in disbelief. In the moment of silence, Gloria, the receptionist from the previous day appeared and began speaking with Ann. She thanked Ann for coming to the salon and said that Carol was awesome with the shorter, clippered styles, as she was once a military barber some 20 years before. As the three engaged in a bit of small talk, Carol spun Ann around to the mirror and explained the progress of the cut in more detail. “I went down to a #1 on the nape and sides. and now we’ll really get that skintight look with a triple #000 blade, to get it really smooth. Again, the words “chin down” came for Carols mouth and by now, there was nothing Ann could do – the damage had been done. She again pressed firmly on the head and continued cutting until there was nothing more than a light outline of her scalp. Carol stopped for a second to answer a question from another employee and Ann lifted her head up as if to hope the nightmare was over. Carol fired up the clippers again, and by then, Ann simply dropped her head, no instructions needed.

After the clippers, a razor and a quick clean up around the neck area, Carol spun Ann around and had her facing the entire salon. The salon was full of lady’s with the long, styled and trendy cuts of the day, and Ann sat there as if she were a new Marine recruit! Ann left the chair and came to the receptionist desk to pay. “That will be $48 today Ann, would you like to schedule your next cut at this time”? Carol walked by and told the receptionist that she’ll need to see Ann every 8-10 days to keep the cut looking fresh. And as with any good sales person, the receptionist proclaimed “OK Ann, I have you down with Carol, on the 18th (only 8 days from today) for a cut!. Ann reluctantly said that would be fine, paid and we walked out of the salon.

On the way home, Ann pulled into a local barbershop, and without a word, accompanied me into the shop. Before we entered, she said I’ll be damned if my husbands hair is going to be loner than mine! She informed the female barber to give me a triple #000 high-n-tight, whitewalls and landing strip and all. Ann payed for the cut and we exited the shop. “Almost $70 for two haircuts today, that’s highway robbery”, Ann said. We pulled into a local beauty supply store and spent almost $500 on blades, capes, neck tissue and a pair of Oster 76 clippers, the top of the line tools for a professional barber. “We’ll save a lot of money in the future dear”, she said with a huge smile and gave me a big hug for a great day!

One response to “Saturday Surprise!

  1. Can i tell you- i think this is one of the best stories i’ve read in a while! i love the turn of events and the surprise – and that she then forces her husband to get a haircut. Now put this in a travel setting (i love vacation haircuts!) and it’d be even bettter!! well done!

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