My weekend started normal enough. Waking up early, and enjoying breakfast with my roommate Heather before settling in to an afternoon of catching up on Biology homework.
“Zoe”, Heather called out to me from the other room, “Mike and I are going to hit that new club downtown if you want to join us tonight.”
“No thanks,” I replied staring at my laptop screen, “It’ll be a miracle if I make it out of this class with a C, so I better stick with this.”
“Well don’t study too hard,” Heather smirked, “College is supposed to be fun.”
With that, Heather exited our apartment and I finally had some silence to study. An hour later, as I was about to email my assignment to Professor Meyers, I noticed a message looking for study participants in the Physics department. The study offered $500 and was open to all departments. Proud of finishing my homework early, I decided to indulge my curiosity and empty bank account by checking out the Physics department.
The Physics building was a good walk across campus, which I desperately needed. The weather felt beautiful, but a little windy for my taste. My should length red hair kept getting blown into my face. I had kept meaning to get it cut, but never seemed to find time. Spending most of my time in class or in my apartment, I hadn’t really even found time to immerse myself in the college environment yet. Heather, being my only real friend on campus, tried hard to include me in her activities when possible. I thought to myself that participating in a campus study may introduce me to some interesting students I wouldn’t have normally met.
The lobby to the Physics building was more empty that I would have assumed after reading about the prospects of $500. After asking around, I was directed to the basement lab. I was met by a cute 3rd year named Evan wearing a lab coat who led me to an exam room to discuss the study.
“We’re looking in to the beauty applications of nano technology,” Evan said. “We developed nanobots that we have programed to eliminate body hair.”
“So if I agreed, I would get injected with some small robots that will shave my legs for me,” I asked with genuine interest.
“Not just shave, but potentially eradicate forever if we’ve done a good job.” Evan replied. “Once we inject you with the bots, you will have control over them with an app that you can download to your phone. We’ll need for you to not shave anything for 1 week to give a good baseline to measure the efficacy of the bots.”
The thought of not shaving my legs or underarms for a solid week was a little weird, but I figured I would just have to keep everything covered up until I was more presentable. Plus, not shaving for a week with the potential of never having to shave again was definitely worth the discomfort.
“Sign me up and let’s do this.”
Evan brought in a lengthy study agreement that I barely glanced over before signing.
“Have you had a lot of interest so far?” I asked as Evan loaded the syringe of silvery looking liquid.”
“Not as much as you might think,” Evan replied as he approached my chair. “Ready to take a leap for science?” He asked?
“Lets do this before I chick out.” I said. Evan gently held my arm and inserted the needle. It didn’t hurt as much as I would think having a ton of robots shot into my arm.
“Remember,” Evan said, “No shaving for 1 week. Come back here next Saturday and we’ll turn your bots and the app online.
The walk back to my apartment seemed longer, but my arm was sore and Evan made me take the a copy of the study agreement and instruction booklet, so I was definitely bogged down.
After getting home I began to go through the agreement, which had a non-disclosure clause prohibiting me from talking to anyone about the study. Ten whole pages were dedicated to risks of using the bots, which was probably pretty standard in any academic study. I decided to suspend my reading and relax for a change. Basically I’m getting paid good money to not shave my legs for a week.
The rest of my weekend was pretty uneventful, and I spent much of my week waiting to see Evan in his lab coat again. My leg hair had grown beyond the awkward stubble phase and my underarms were becoming unsightly, but it was all in the name of science! I woke up early on Saturday morning and tracked across campus to the Physics building to see Evan. He was waiting for me in the basement lab again ready to get started.
He spent the first few minutes taking photos of me and my body hair.
“Are you ready to try the bots?” Evan asked with an enthusiastic smile.”
“Absolutely, I have got to get this hair off of me.” I replied.
Evan opened his laptop and entered in a command code to turn the nanobots that were currently living in my body on.
“They have been activated,” Evan said as he picked up my phone. “The bots will respond to pre-set commands as well as custom commands from you through your phone interface. You just need to indicate on the app where you want the bots to destroy your hair. The pre-set commands may be easier to use, but read the descriptions well before selecting anything.”
“How long will it take for the bots to get rid of the hair?” I asked
“After 5 minutes you should notice the hair falling out. I would suggest putting in a command just before going into the shower. Should be less messy than shedding all over your room” Evan replied with a chuckle. “If you have any problems just give me a call.”
Evan put his cell phone number into my contact list and we bid farewell. Evan told me he would want to see me again in one week to check not the nanobot’s progress.
As I walked back to my apartment I inspected the app. The interface looked simple enough to use. As soon as I walked into the door I headed to the bathroom and selected “Smooth legs” from the command menu. I had anticipated being able to feel the bots at work, but I couldn’t, which was probably a good thing. After about 5 minutes I walked into the shower to rinse off. Sure enough upon exiting, I noticed that I didn’t have a single hair on my legs.
“Damn, if this is permanent, this is going to change my life” I said out loud as I inspect my perfectly hairless legs.
“Guess I better take care of the forest growing in my armpits next.” I said, staring at myself in front of the mirror. I also occurred to me that it might be a good time to go full Brazilian, as I noticed that my red bush was also looking a little unkept.
I flipped through the app looking for underarms and pubic area when I came across an option for “Smooth Goddess.”
“That sounds like what I’m looking for.” I said as I made my selection.
I waited for close to 5 minutes and I headed in to the shower to rinse off. As I washed my pubic mound, the hair didn’t give up a with at all, and soon I was completely hairless down below. Next, I focused my attention of rinsing off my underarms, which suffered the same fate as my pubic hair.
I decided to wash my hair before leaving the shower. As I lathered up, I noticed that my scalp felt weird and tight, so I massaged it a little. All of a sudden I heard a wet slap on the shower floor and my head felt immensely lighter. I looked down in horror to see my shoulder length red hair on the shower floor with soapy water swirling around it. I reached up to my head and only felt perfectly smooth skin. I exited the shower the dried off to inspect the damage. My eyelashes and eyebrows were rubbed off by my towel. I looked at myself in the mirror in amazement. I was rendered completely bald by the nanobots. Not a single hair was left anywhere on my body. I was in shock. My scalp looked like I had never had a hair on it before.
I called Evan immediately and explained what happened.
“What command did you select?” He asked, worried that his nanobots went off script.
“Smooth Goddess” I replied
“Oh dear. Did you read the description of that? Smooth Goddess is total body depilation, and resembles alopecia totalis.” Evan replied. “The bots did exactly what you told them to do.”
“Is there a way to reverse what they did?” I asked as I ran my hands over my hairless scalp.
“No. The bots are programmed to destroy hair and the corresponding follicle so that it never grows back. It is likely that you will never grow hair again.” Evan replied
I hung up the phone with Evan and sat on my bed naked, still running my hands over my head. It felt amazing and terrifying at the same time.