I stare at the clock. Waiting was never my strong suit. This is going to be exciting. I’m not nervous per say, but I have a nervous energy, more anxious & excitement, I suppose. I stand up & walk into the bathroom. It is time for the finishing touches. I reach behind the door & grab the robe. I put it on over my bikini & turn to face the mirror. I just stand there staring, one last glance. This might be the last time I see myself looking this way. Suddenly, a KNOCK at the door breaks me from my trance.
“WHO IS IT?” I reply.
“REMOVAL SERVICES” the voice on the other end answers back.
Confused by this “HUH, I DIDN’T –” Suddenly, I realize what that meant “OH WAIT, HOLD ON JUST A SEC.” I quickly pull the robe over me & tie it off. Then, after one last glance, I grab at my hair & pull it up into a quick messy bun. Grab the hair tie around my wrist & reach for the door. I grab the chain off the door & turn the lock on the door. I take a deep breath & swing open the door. “HI, YOU HAD ME FOR A MOMENT WITH THAT REMOVAL LINE. I GUESS YOU WERE REFERRING TO THIS.” I point a finger up at my hair.
“YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS SORT OF DUMB.” He confirms.
“NO, IT WAS KIND OF CUTE” I try to reassure him as I giggle. I take a step & indicate with my hand “COME ON IN, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.” I gestured.
He steps inside & starts looking around.
“YOU CAN JUST PUT YOUR STUFF DOWN ON THAT BED OVER THERE” I point to the Queen bed on the left. “I WASN’T SURE EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE IN MIND, BUT I THOUGHT OVER THERE MIGHT BE A GOOD SPOT” I had previously arranged an empty table & chair in the corner of the room.
“UM, YEAH, THAT SHOULD BE FINE.” He responds while putting his stuff down on the bed. He seems a bit nervous.
“ARE YOU NERVOUS? DON’T BE NERVOUS, SWEETIE. I’M VERY HAPPY YOU’RE HERE.” I assure.
“MAYBE JUST A LITTLE, BUT I’LL BE FINE.” He reaches his hand out to shake. This won’t do. I grab his hand & pull him in towards me.
“NAH UH, STRANGERS SHAKE HANDS, WE’RE FRIENDS. FRIENDS HUG” I wrap my arms around him & lean in to give a quick kiss on the check. “PLEASE, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. I’ll BE RIGHT BACK” I whisper in his ear as I step back & head towards the bathroom. I need a minute. I totally want this & am ready for whatever is about to happen, but there’s a difference between the hypothetical & reality. It’s one thing to talk about it, but after all the anticipation it’s finally happening. I take one last look in the mirror. I try to picture what I might look like. I can’t, I just can’t. I reach my hand up to the top of head for my hair tie but stop just short of pulling it out. No point. I slowly turn my head in either direction. I turn the faucet on & splash some water on my face. I turn the water off, & stare at myself another moment. I let out a deep sigh. Ok, here we go. I turn & head out the door. I walk towards him & pause a moment. He turns towards me.
“HEY, STUD, YOU READY FOR ME.” I announce myself, & reach down to the robe belt & slowly untie it. I allow the robe to slowly slip off my body. “I HOPE THIS MEETS YOUR EXPECTATIONS” I reach my hand up & pull the tie out of my hair, allowing it to fall down, one final time. “WOW, GUESS THAT’S THE LAST TIME I’LL BE DOING THAT FOR A WHILE.” I remark.
“OR EVER.” he smiles “AT LEAST IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.”
“MAYBE!!” The idea gets me excited. I’m in the moment but haven’t given the future much thought. The though does intrigue me though. “OH, I CAN’T WAIT. ARE YOU READY FOR ME YET?” I can’t contain my excitement any longer & eagerly bound toward the chair.
I sit down. My heartbeat speeds up. I can’t believe this moment is finally here. After all the talk & planning, the time has come. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hair, but I am also so ready for this change & very much looking forward to what is about to happen. I feel the comb gliding through my hair. I close my eyes & take it all in. I want to enjoy this & remember it all. I completely relax & allow myself to be taken in.
“ARE YOU PURRING?” I hear. Maybe a little too relaxed.
“I’M SORRY, YOU HEARD THAT? I’LL STOP” I open my eyes & straighten up a little.
“NO, NO, NO, NOT AT ALL, PLEASE CONTINUE. I DIDN’T MEAN TO CALL YOU OUT” He stops combing my hair but after a moment I feel his hands on my shoulders. It feels nice. I am completely taken in, & while I was enjoying the hair brushing, the shoulder massage is equally enjoyable. I let out a yawn,
“UGH, YOU’RE MAKING ME SLEEPY.”
“JUST TRYING TO RELAX YOU.” He assures.
“I COULDN’T BE MORE RELAXED IF I WAS DEAD.” It’s true, I’m like pudding & feel completely mold-able. I will say this; he certainly knows how to put someone at ease & make them comfortable.
“OK, THEN.” He stops rubbing my shoulders, but a moment later is back in my hair. I feel the comb in short bursts & little tugs, as it seems like he has started to section off my hair for the next step. I close my eyes again, & a smile slowly grows across my face.
I am completely entranced & in my own world. I can feel my hair being tugged & pulled, but in the gentlest way possible. There seems to be a lot of sectioning going on, but I admit this is all completely foreign to me. Never in my life have I ever had anything more than a trim on my hair. He has my total trust & could literally do anything right now, & I would happily & eagerly agree.
“A OR B?” The silence is broken.
“EXCUSE ME, WHAT?” I ask slightly confused.
“A OR B”
“FOR WHAT?” I’m trying to pay attention & figure out what is going on.
“JUST ANSWER, A OR B” is all I’m getting. Clearly, I need to focus a bit & will be more involved than I realized.
“UM,, AAA—” I manage to get out, not really knowing what I’m answering.
“GOOD CHOICE,” Then, he hands me the scissors “THE 1st CUT IS YOURS”
“WHAT? NO!” I am now fully alert & aware of what is going on. I pull back a bit “THAT’S YOUR JOB.” Momentarily questioning everything & hoping I haven’t made a huge miscalculation.
“I KNOW, BUT TRUST ME, I’M HERE TO GUIDE YOU, I JUST WANT YOU TO MAKE THE INITIAL COMMITMENT CUT. I’LL TAKE CARE OF THE REST. DON’T WORRY, I’VE GOT YOU.” I reluctantly take the scissors.
“ARE YOU SURE? I’VE NEVER CUT HAIR BEFORE, LET ALONE MY OWN. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.” I’m not quite in a panic but close. At the same time, I’m also intrigued. He picks up a strand of my hair.
“JUST CUT RIGHT HERE.” He guides my hand towards my hair. “YOU WANT TO CUT BELOW THE TIE.” OK, I’ve come this far & I still really want this to happen. I close my eyes, I carefully open the scissors & take a deep breath. I close the scissors.
I felt the tuft of hair detach from my scalp as I exhale & place the hair on the table.
“DO YOU WANT TO DO ANOTHER ONE?”
“I—I—I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THE FIRST ONE” I manage to get out.
“I KNOW, BUT YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO ANYMORE.” His voice is very calming. I must admit it was thrilling, almost orgasmic. My heart is pounding. -I was expecting to just sit back & let whatever happen, happen. I open my eyes & glance over at the table. I notice the strand of hair, that just a moment earlier was attached to my head. I pick it up.
“IS THAT MY HAIR?” Of course it is, but it’s so different seeing it just lifelessly lay there.
“YES, THAT’S THE PIECE YOU JUST CUT.” As I shift my head slightly, I feel my hair move differently than it ever has before. There must be dozens more of these tiny ponytails all over my head. I feel such a rush, maybe even a bit turned on. I pick up the scissors. I know what needs to be done.
“SO, I CAN JUST KEEP GOING?” I get a burst of confidence, wanting more of that thrill I just experienced.
He laughs. “IF YOU WANT, HAVE AT IT. DO YOU WANT SOME HELP?” This is what I want. I look around.
“UM, A MIRROR, MAYBE? I NEED TO SEE WHERE TO CUT.”
“IT’S OK, I CAN HELP GUIDE YOU. WE HAD A DEAL, REMEMBER? ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO THE ENTIRE THING?” It’s true, It would be helpful to see what I was doing, but I would figure out a way regardless.
“I DON’T KNOW, I WASN’T EVEN PLANNING TO DO THIS” I reach up & grab another tie, with zero hesitation.
Quickly moving to the next one.
A strong feeling of determination takes over & I know nothing will stop me. “YOU’LL FIX THIS, RIGHT?” I don’t even care. This is so thrilling & exhilarating; I’ll deal with whatever consequences later.
“YEAH, HAVE AT IT.” Not that I have any doubts or need any reassurance, but it is like a signal. Like if I am proceeding under a cation flag or yellow light & I just got the green.
I’m moving quickly now. It’s like I can’t cut through this hair fast enough. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’ve never had this feeling before. It’s like an out of body experience. I start giggling uncontrollably “THIS IS AMAZING!”
“I’M GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING YOURSELF. LOOKS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN NEED ME.”
Those words cut & cause me to pause. I put the scissors down for a moment as I ponder. This is supposed to be for both of us. I’m taking over, & that’s not fair either. “OH, I’M SORRY” I don’t have to be happy about it, but it is the fair thing. “I’ll STOP.”
“NO, NO, IT’S OK. I’M ENJOYING
THE SHOW. I’M HERE IF YOU NEED ME, BUT PLEASE CONTINUE.”
“ARE YOU SURE?” I reach for the scissors again, unable to contain my happiness.
“I COULD NEVER LIVE WITH YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT IF I DIDN’T. I’M JUST IMPRESSED BY THE SUDDEN CHANGE.” He remarks. Honestly, I am as well. If you had told me this morning that I’d be the one chopping off all my hair, I never would believe you in a million years. Heck, even 20 minutes ago, I would have said there was no way. Yet, here I am, & now, I can’t imagine it any other way. I resume cutting.
There’s no holding back. I’m moving at a pretty quick clip now.
Pretty much as soon as I cut a strand, one hand is placing it on the pile, while my other hand searches for the next strand to cut.
Then, off it comes & the cycle continues.
“YOU KNOW, THERE’S MORE ON THE TABLE, THEN ON YOUR HEAD” Is he taunting me?
He’s motivating me.
“NOT FOR MUCH LONGER, YOU’RE MOVING FAST. CERTAINLY, MUCH FASTER THAN I WOULD HAVE. I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING IT.” Immensely. This is the best experience in my life & it’s not even close to over yet. Well, this part will almost be done, but I know there’s more to come & I absolutely cannot wait. I put the scissors down.
“WOW, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAME OVER ME. I NEVER THOUGHT, I WOULD OR COULD DO THIS, BUT AFTER THAT FIRST CUT…. I DON’T KNOW, SOMETHING JUST CAME OVER ME.” Something has opened inside of me. There’s a part of me that I never knew existed. I’ve unleashed a new me & I definitely plan to let it free. I get up & turn towards him. I need to show my appreciation for what just happened. I leap into his arms & wrap my legs around him, as he stumbles back a bit. “THANK YOU!” I whisper in his ear. “THANK YOU, SO, SO, VERY MUCH!” I can barely contain my excitement as I give him a giant kiss.
“I—I—I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING” he stammers as we fall backwards into the bed. I missed a few random strands of hair, as they swing widely & whack me in the face, but I also feel the breeze from my mostly lack of hair.
Suddenly, I stand up & cover my mouth as I gasp in horror. “OH MY GOD! OH! I’M SO SORRY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.” I got caught up in the moment, but I crossed a line. I start to back away & do all I can to hold back my tears. It doesn’t work.
“HEY, HEY, STOP. IT’S OK. IT’S OK. YOU’RE AMAZING & IT’S GOOD.” He starts to walk towards me & attempts to comfort me. “WHY ARE YOU CRYING? THERE’S NO NEED TO CRY. I’M NOT UPSET, I PROMISE.” He guides me back towards the bed & has me sit down next to him. I lean my head on his shoulder.
“I’M SORRY, I SCREWED UP.” I desperately try to stop & calm myself down. “YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET TO CUT OFF MY HAIR” I’m feeling horrible, but I lift my head to look at him. As I do, random hair falls in my face causing me to giggle. “IT TICKLES”
“YES, YES, IT DOES, & IT’S OK, I PROMISE.” He hugs me, reassuring me. “FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, I GREATLY ENJOYED WATCHING YOU. I HOPE YOU HAD FUN.” I look up at him & smile.
“I DID! I REALLY, REALLY DID!” Feeling much better, I stand up & as I take a step back I reach for his hand & pull him up next to me. “NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN TO FINISH!” As much as I have enjoyed myself so far. It’s time to sit back & be worked on. With everything that just went on, & the incredible emotional high I just experienced; I only now realize how soaked I am down below. As I turn & head back towards the chair I pause for a moment. A bit embarrassed, “UM, DO YOU MIND?” as I indicate what’s going on.
“OH, OF COURSE” He reaches for a towel. I start to pull my bottoms off, as he wraps the towel around me.
“THANKS” I take a deep breath & sit back down. “OK, I’M READY!” I laugh & clap in delight. I see him pick up the scissors as I close my eyes & try to take it all in.
As much as I enjoyed cutting my own hair, it’s a completely different experience having someone else do it.
I know there’s not much left, so I want to make sure I take this all in, while I still can.
With each snip I feel freer & freer.
It’s like such a release.
It’s all gone. He puts the scissors down. The last remnants of my long hair is no more. I can’t say I miss it. Not at all. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel but suddenly I wonder how I look. Part of me doesn’t care, as the thrill I’ve had is well worth it, but then, curiosity always gets the best of me. I look up at him.
“AM I STILL BEAUTIFUL?” I don’t really need the reassurance, as I’ve always felt beauty came from within & self-confidence was the key, & I’ve never felt more so in my life, but then I’ve also never not had any hair on my head either.
“MORE” I smile. Instinctively, my hand starts to reach up towards my head. “NUH UN, NOT YET” I immediately stop.
“PLEASE? JUST ONE QUICK FEEL?” He grabs my hand & pushes it back down.
“WHEN IT’S DONE. TRUST ME” Reluctantly, I agree. I had already agreed, so I am prepared. He lays his hand on my head & gives a tussle. He’s giving me something. I grin; it feels great. He does it again. I’m in ecstasy.
He picks up the clippers. He reaches into his pocket & then hands it to me. It’s a die.
“ROLL.” I look at it & do as I’m told. I try to take a quick look, but he picks it up before I have a chance to see what it is. He hands it back to me. “AGAIN.” I take the die & roll again. He quickly picks it up before I can see. “ONCE MORE.” I don’t know why I am doing this, but I’m sure there is a reason. This time he leaves it on the table & I can see it.
“FOUR. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”
“THERE ARE CHOICES TO BE MADE ABOUT THE NEXT FEW STEPS. I HAVE MANY OPTIONS, & I DECIDED TO LET CHANCE DECIDE. EACH ROLL WAS FOR A DIFFERENT CHOICE & EACH NUMBER WAS A DIFFERENT OPTION. I LET YOU DECIDE, EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS YOU WERE DECIDING.”
“COOL.” I laugh; this was fun. Honestly, it didn’t matter. I have enjoyed even second of this experience & he could pretty much do almost anything & I’d happily go along with it. He stands in front of me.
“READY?” I am absolutely giddy.
“YES!” I couldn’t be more ready. Next thing I know, I feel the clippers on the top of my head. Little tufts of hair tumble down my head & all over my body. It’s very itchy. I let out a snort & then start laughing trying to cover it up. “WOAH, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?” I cover my face, trying to regain control, but it happens again. He stops. I look up at him. “SORRY.”
“NO NEED TO BE SORRY, I’M GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING YOURSELF, I JUST DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU SO, I NEED YOU TO TRY TO KEEP YOUR HEAD STILL.”
“YES, SIR” I salute him, but of course this causes me to start laughing uncontrollably again.
“DO YOU NEED A MINUTE?” he asks me. I nod yes & give a shrug. He smiles at me.
After a few minutes, I regain control & try to refrain from any more laughing. I don’t know what’s come over me.
“OK, OK, I THINK I’M GOOD NOW.” I look over to him, he looks back.
“ARE YOU SURE?” I’m trying to hold it all in. I probably look pretty goofy, but I really can’t help it.
“YES!” I try to be positive, & don’t want to hold things up to much longer.
“OK” He walks behind me. I hear the clippers turn on. I sense something coming. I can’t hold it any longer. I explode in laughter again.
“NOPE” I try to get out. “NOPE, GUESS NOT.” I really don’t know why this is happening. This has never happened to me before. “SORRY” I really am, both for his sake & mine.
“IT’S OK, I’M KIND OF ENJOYING THIS.” He pauses. “YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T LOOK BAD AT ALL. CURRENTLY, YOU’VE GOT A CUTE LITTLE BUZZCUT. IT’S FAR FROM THE FINAL LOOK, & I DON’T THINK EITHER OF US WOULD BE HAPPY IF IT WAS, BUT YOU STILL LOOK DAMN GOOD, & YOU’VE ALREADY GONE THROUGH SUCH A MONUMENTAL CHANGE ALREADY. LET’S SAY WE TAKE A BREAK. CONTINUE ALONG WITH THE REST OF OUR PLANS, GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME TO GET USED TO THE NEW LOOK, & WHILE NOT FINAL, THIS IS ALREADY A BIG ADJUSTMENT.” I look up at him, taking in every word. He’s trying to make me feel better. “WE’LL COME BACK LATER & FINISH THIS UP. DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL THIS IS DONE, BUT NOTHING SAYS IT ALL HAS TO HAPPEN IN ONE SHOT.” I don’t want to stop though. I’m in a zone & I don’t want to leave. Also, we made a pact.
“WHAT ABOUT OUR ARRANGEMENT? I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE OR TOUCH UNTIL YOU’RE COMPLETELY FINISHED? I WANT TO HONOR OUR DEAL. I WANT TO HONOR YOU.” This was true & honestly, I kind of like the idea of the mystery behind it. I stand up & give him a hug. “JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES. I PROMISE I’LL BEHAVE.” I smile at him & give him another kiss on the check.
After a few minutes break, I sit back down. I no longer have the towel, but put on a clean pair of underwear. I’ve composed myself & am ready for whatever comes next.
“I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY SWIMSUITS YOU HAVE WITH YOU, BUT I IMAGINE THOSE WILL END UP THE SAME AS THE 1st.” I had already thought of that & know it’s true.
“THAT’S WHY I PUT THESE ON, SO I STILL HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR LATER. I KNOW IT’S NOT WHAT YOU WANT, BUT IT’S THIS OR NOTHING. YOUR CALL” Honestly, I was OK either way.
“WELL, I WANT YOU TO BE COMFORTABLE, SO I GUESS WHICHEVER DOES THAT IS OK, WITH ME.” I look up & gaze into his eyes.
“REALLY? ARE YOU SURE?”
“OF COURSE, ABOVE ALL, THIS IS ALL FOR YOU REMEMBER? MY MAIN GOAL IS TO GIVE YOU THE MOST POSITIVE & FUN EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE.” I get a huge smile on my face.
“DOES THAT APPLY TO EVERYTHING?”
“WELL, I’M STILL NOT GOING TO LET YOU SEE ANYTHING OR TOUCH YOUR HEAD UNTIL WE’RE DONE, BUT OTHERWISE? IF IT’S WHAT YOU WANT…” He doesn’t finish. I’m already standing & have my panties down around my ankles, but I’m not done yet. As I step out of them, I reach my hands up to my bikini top.
“IN THAT CASE, I’D REALLY ENJOY THE FREEDOM.” I unhook & it drops to the ground. I’m completely exposed, but don’t feel completely exposed.
“HAPPY, NOW?” He smirks.
“I WAS ALREADY HAPPY” I retort.
“JUST REMEMBER, I’M NOT USING A CAPE OR ANYTHING. HAIR IS GOING TO END UP EVERYWHERE. WHATEVER YOU ULTIMATELY HAD ON, WAS PARTIALLY FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION.” Is he mocking me?
“I KNOW. I’M GOOD. ALSO, GOING TO KEEP MY HANDS OCCUPIED, IF THAT’S OK” I wink. We both know what I mean. Honestly, I think he’s enjoying that part of it. This is a once in a lifetime experience, I might as well get the most out of it that I can. I sit back down. Well, I try to despite everything, I have so much pent-up energy & need the release, but it’s hard to contain myself. “OK, OK, I KNOW. I NEED TO SIT STILL. I WILL. I JUST… I’M SOOO HYPED!” I’m sure I look like the Cheshire Cat right now, but I can’t help it. I take a few deep breathes & try to center myself. He steps behind me. I see him pick up the clippers & after a few seconds I hear the sound of them being turned on.
I feel the clippers at my neck & slowly creep up the back of my head. The rhythm of the clippers prove to be very calming while the tiny clumps of hair tickle as they tumble down my body. It is a very odd sensation I am feeling right now, but I wouldn’t change a thing. At this point, I lose complete control of my inhibitions. I give in to my urges & lose myself. I am completely entranced & lost in my own world. I have no idea how much time goes by. I hope this never ends. Unfortunately, it can’t last forever. The clippers stop, way too soon for my pleasure, & then I hear them turn off.
“AWWW, DON’T STOP” I don’t mean for it to seem quite as whiny as it probably was, but I barely have control over myself right now.
“DON’T WORRY” he starts to whisper in my ear. “WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED” This really gets me. I let out a loud moan as I spread my legs & look up at him.
“I’M YOURS” I feel possessed. I knew I was in for an experience. I thought there was a possibility I might get a little too into it. Never, in my wildest imagination could I have possibly thought, it would be anything like this. I hear the clippers turn back on; my hands are completely soaked & I can’t contain myself. This may not quite be better than sex, but if anything were to rival it, this is definitely it. At this point, I’m sure I’m a complete mess & only getting louder. What he must be thinking. I also didn’t care & at this point nothing else matters.
“DO YOU NEED A MINUTE?” His voice breaking through.
“NO. KEEP. GOING” I somehow manage to get out in between my deep shallow breaths.
After an all too brief period the clippers turn off.
“JUST ONE SECOND” I barely hear him. I am completely preoccupied. I feel something cold hit the back of my head. He rubs it all along.
“HE-HE, THAT TICKLES” It feels nice. Then it occurs to me what it is. “WAIT!” I bolt up & pull my head forward. “YOU’RE NOT SHAVING ME, ARE YOU?!” I am suddenly very aware of what is going on & fully alert. “YOU PROMISED NO SHAVED HEAD !!!” I scream at him as I bolt out of the chair. I turn & face him. The evidence is right there in his hands. “YOU ARE! YOU’RE GONNA SHAVE MY DAMN HEAD, AREN’T YOU!!!” I’m in a full rage now. I feel betrayed. “I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU!” I head to the bed & sit down. I start to cry & rest my face in my hands, as I am so overcome. “I TRUSTED YOU, & YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME.” The truth is I actually wasn’t totally opposed to it. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would ever be an option, but this experience had completely transformed me. While I’m still not entirely sure how I feel, the fact that I’m even considering it should say a lot. On top of that given my earlier state just a few minutes ago, I probably would have willingly agreed to it had he just asked or said anything about it. In fact, had he even mentioned the word I could see myself begging him to do it. That thought kind of freaks me out a bit actually. However, I didn’t want it assumed, I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I’m already sitting here totally naked & vulnerable; I don’t need that on top of it. That’s what I have a problem with. He sits down next to me & wipes the cream off my head with the towel. He then drapes a blanket over me. He’s really rather sweet.
I’m finally able to stop crying. Really, I’m still upset, but the emotions of the day are making it worse than I feel. I wipe away my tears & crack a smile. I look up & stare him right in the eyes.
“YOU MUST THINK I’M AN ABSOLUTE CRAZY PERSON”
“NO, NOT AT ALL. I GET IT. THIS HAS BEEN A VERY DRAMATIC EXPERIENCE. IT’S QUITE A DAY FOR YOU & THIS IS A HUGE CHANGE, ONE THAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED & THAT I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING, BUT A HUGE CHANGE NONETHELESS.” He wraps his arm around me in comfort. “I’M SORRY, I WASN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO SHAVE YOU, I WAS JUST CLEANING YOU UP A BIT, I DON’T HAVE TO, & WE CAN JUST STOP NOW, IF YOU WANT.” OK, I know I definitely don’t want that. This can’t be the end. I don’t know what the end is, but not this. The truth is, I just can’t get the bald image out of my head. I can’t believe I’m going there, but I think I might actually want to shave my head.
“WOULD I LOOK GOOD BALD?” I get a blank stare, so I repeat myself & make sure I emphasis each word so there can be no doubt what I’m asking. “WOULD. I. LOOK. GOOD. BALD.” I look him straight in the eyes & don’t waver or blink until I get a response.
“I WAS NEVER PLANNING TO SHAVE YOU. I HAD A VERY COOL FADE IN MIND FOR YOU. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED AMAZING. THERE’S STILL PLENTY OF HAIR LEFT ON YOU HEAD” Grrr, he’s blowing it. I’m giving him the chance. I actually want this & he’s not pick up on it.
“I KNOW,” trying to make things as clear as I can, without actually saying it. “BUT YOU DIDN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION.” I back away & stand up. “WOULD. I. LOOK. GOOD. BALD! PLEASE, ANSWER THE QUESTION” He reaches out to me & looks directly in my eyes.
“I DON’T THINK THE WORD BEAUTIFUL DOES YOU JUSTICE.” He begins firmly. “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. WHEN I FIRST WALKED IN, I WAS STUNNED BY YOUR BEAUTY. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. YOU HAVE ONLY GOTTEN MORE SO, AS THIS JOURNEY HAS GONE ON. YOUR BEAUTY IS NOT IN YOUR HAIR. SO, ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, YES, IS PROBABLY THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, BUT AGAIN THAT WORD WOULD BE SO FAR BELOW YOU. IT’S NEXT LEVEL” Well, shucks, he knows just what to say, doesn’t he.
“YOU SAY SUCH SWEET THINGS. I’M SORRY. I TRUST YOU.” I turn back in his direction & look into his eyes. I make my decision & I think we will both be happy with it.
I lean into his ear & whisper “SHAVE ME” & give him a quick peck. He pulls back & stares at me inquisitively. I reassure him “I KNOW, I KNOW. I’M RIDICULOUS. I PROMISE. I WANT THIS. I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY. I TRUST YOU WITH MY LIFE.” This is true. Sure, we just met, but nothing bonds you to a person quite like letting them shave all your hair off.
“ARE YOU SURE? I MEAN REALLY, REALLY, SURE? LOOK, YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT TODAY, & THIS IS A BIG DEAL. WHY DON’T WE JUST STICK WITH THE ORIGINAL PLAN, LET ME FINISH YOU UP, & WE’LL MOVE ON. I CAN ALWAYS DO IT FOR YOU LATER, BUT ONCE IT’S GONE, I CAN’T PUT IT BACK.” I back away & look down. This isn’t working. I can’t believe I make this huge decision, that I am completely sure about & he tries to talk me out of it. I turn & stand up tall.
“LOOK” I gesture at myself. “LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME STANDING HERE IN FRONT OF YOU, COMPLETELY NAKED, COVERED IN MY OWN HAIR.” He looks me over. I turn & start to walk away. After a few steps, I turn back towards him. “I UNDERSTAND YOUR DOUBT. I DO. HONESTLY, I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED,” I walk back towards him. “I HAVE THOROUGHLY ENJOYED EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. SINCE YOU GOT HERE. EVEN MY MELTDOWNS. YES, MELTDOWNS, PLURAL. I KNOW THERE HAVE BEEN MORE THEN ONE. THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY LIFE CHANGING FOR ME. AS MUCH AS I WANT THIS & WAS READY, I WAS NERVOUS AS HELL. WHEN YOU HAD ME CUT THAT 1st PIECE OF MY HAIR. I WAS SCARED TO DEATH. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW CLOSE I CAME TO BOLTING. BUT I DIDN’T, & I TRUSTED YOU & YOU WERE RIGHT. IT WAS ENTHRALLING, & I KEPT GOING, IT WAS LIBERATING. THE NERVES COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED & IT WAS LIKE AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. SUDDENLY, I WANTED IT ALL GONE & I COULDN’T GET RID OF IT FAST ENOUGH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME & THEN LETTING ME DO THAT.” I pause. It’s a lot to take in. For me & for him. I start pacing. “YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU HAVE BEEN AMAZING PUTTING UP WITH ME. I KNOW I’VE BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THIS IS WHAT I WANT. YOU TOLD ME TWO THINGS BEFORE THIS STARTED. YOU GAVE ME TWO RULES. I COULDN’T TOUCH MY HEAD OR SEE ANYTHING UNTIL YOU WERE COMPLETELY FINISHED. I HAVE OBEYED. BELIEVE ME IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY, BUT I RESPECT YOU & TRUST YOU. I PROMISE I WILL CONTINUE TO HONOR THAT.” I’m on a roll now & the words come flowing out of me. “I ALSO KNOW, YOU’RE ONLY HONORING MY REQUEST. MY ONE REQUEST. I SAID I WAS YOUR CANVAS; YOU COULD DO ANYTHING YOU WANTED TO MY HAIR & I WOULD BE HAPPY. ALL I ASKED WAS THAT YOU NOT SHAVE ME COMPLETELY BALD. IT WAS A COMPLETELY REASONABLE REQUEST & YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER GO AGAINST SOMEONE’S WILL, & THAT WHILE IT WAS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WORTH DOING YOU WOULD NEVER FORCE IT ON ANYONE & THAT IT NEEDED TO BE THEIR CHOICE. I RESPECT YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT. THAT’S HOW I KNEW I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE WITH YOU.” I walk towards him. I grab his hand & place it on my bare breast, directly over my heart, then I wrap my arms around his neck & stare passionately into his eyes. I want to make sure he fully understands these words & that there is no doubt where they come from. “HOWEVER, YOU MADE THAT PROMISE TO THE LONG-HAIRED ME. THAT PERSON DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE, & I DOUBT SHE EVER WILL AGAIN. THE PERSON STANDING BEFORE YOU, ME, THE REAL AUTHENTIC ME, IS ASKING YOU TO MAKE ME A NEW PROMISE.” My heart is beating faster & faster. A thought, a crazy idea, has been running through my brain since this started. I am about to say something I never thought I would say. However, now I can’t imagine not saying it. “I WANT TO BE COMPLETELY HAIRLESS. I DON’T WANT A SINGLE STRAND OF HAIR LEFT ANYWHERE ON MY ENTIRE BODY.” I lean in closer to him. “& I WANT YOU TO DO IT. OF THIS I AM SURE, & I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE CONFIDENT OF ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.”
He smiles at me. “AS YOU WISH.” My eyes get big & get the largest smile I’ve ever had in my life. I start jumping up & down with excitement.
“OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME!” I leap into his arms & give him a kiss. “MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM” I wink & head towards the chair. “I PROMISE, I’LL BE GOOD. NO MORE OUTBURSTS OF ANY KIND, & I PROMISE TO REMAIN AS STILL AS I POSSIBLY CAN UNTIL YOU’RE DONE.” I sit down. I close my eyes & try to relax. I know I need to keep my emotions in control & try to keep myself still.
“YOU CAN BREATHE, YOU KNOW. RELAX, I STILL WANT YOU TO ENJOY THIS.” As I sit there preparing for what is about to happen, I hear a now very familiar & welcome sound.
“OH, I LOVE THAT SOUND! I THOUGH WE WERE DONE WITH THEM! YEA!” I let out a squeal in delight.
“WELL, WE WERE FOR A TIME, BUT NEVER COMPLETELY. I’VE BARELY TOUCHED THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD, BECAUSE I WASN’T GOING TO TAKE IT MUCH SHORTER THEN IT ALREADY WAS. NOW, THOUGH…”
“YUP!” I cut him off. “ALL GONE!” It’s really hard to contain my excitement but I don’t want any more delays. He walks in front of me & looks me in the eyes. He turns the clippers on.
“LAST CHANCE. YOU SURE?” I look up. Without a doubt in my mind,
“1000 %. DO IT” Next thing I know I feel the clippers mow down the middle of my head. Then another, & another. Ugh, I’m in ecstasy. I want this moment to last forever. I know it can’t but it’s going way to fast. “WAIT!”
He stops. “WHAT’S WRONG?”
I laugh, “NOTHING. NO, REALLY, NOTHING.”
He looks at me, confused “THEN –”
“ITS JUST, I SWEAR, BABE, YOU’RE AMAZING & I DON’T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOUR FLOW, BUT — & I KNOW I SAID I WOULD SIT & BE STILL – BUT, WELL, YOU’RE GOING SO FAST. I KNOW I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH HAIR. WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE TO SLOW DOWN JUST A TOUCH? I WANT TO SAVOR THIS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I WANT IT GONE, & AM NOT MISSING IT AT ALL, BUT THE FEELING – THE FEELING…”
“SAY NO MORE, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.” He leans down so we are face to face. “I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT LAST AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.”
“THANK YOU,” I reach out to offer a quick kiss. “YOU’RE THE BEST.” He stands up & turns the clippers back on. He is now slowly passing the clippers through my hair. I savor every second.
I know this can’t last forever, but I want it to last as long as possible. I feel the clippers through my hair. I watch as what little hair I have remaining, slowly tumbles down around me. With each passing stroke I get more & more turned on. I can’t believe what I’ve been missing out on.
“I’M SORRY TO TELL YOU, THERE’S REALLY NOT MUCH LEFT. I TRIED TO SLOW IT DOWN FOR YOU, BUT THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH I CAN DO.” The moment I am dreading is here. I sigh
“YEAH, I KNOW. THANK YOU FOR TRYING.”
“NOW, YOUR HEAD IS BASICALLY, REDUCED TO STUBBLE. I WANT TO WARN YOU, IF YOU WANT ME TO FINISH THE JOB, THE NEXT STEP WILL BE APPLYING THE CREAM.” He turns the clippers off.
“YES, I KNOW. I REMEMBER IT TICKLED.” I giggle “I DIDN’T LET YOU GET VERY FAR; I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW ITS GOING TO FEEL OVER MY ENTIRE HEAD. I’M EXCITED” Each part has been better than the next & I didn’t not enjoy it the 1st time, I was just unprepared & upset I wasn’t warned or consulted. I’m totally ready now & looking forward to it.
“YOU’RE BASICALLY ALREADY BALD, THIS WILL JUST SMOOTH IT OUT. YOU’RE BLONDE SO YOUR HAIR IS VERY LIGHT, & THEREFORE ALREADY HARD TO SEE.” Yeah, talk about hard to see. I just wish I could have seen myself at various points during this process. I know how dramatic & a big change this is, but I wish I got to see any of the earlier points, just out of curiosity. He’s massaging my head as he reapplies the cream.
“OH, THAT FEELS SO NICE.” I coo. I yawn. “OH, SORRY, I FEEL SO TIRED.”
“I’M NOT SURPRISED. IT’S BEEN A PRETTY DRAINING DAY. JUST RELAX. FEEL FREE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES.” I close my eyes. I’m not sure I’ve even spent so much time with my eyes closed & still be awake.
“OH, I’M VERY RELAXED, PROBABLY TOO RELAXED, BUT I’M ALSO SUPER HYPED.” My head is tingling. Feels like my whole head is covered now.
“OK, I DON’T WANT TO NICK YOU, PLEASE KEEP YOU HEAD IN PLACE & FOLLOW MY DIRECTION.” My heart beats faster. I prepare my hands. They don’t have to do anything. Just the anticipation gets me going.
I feel the razor hit the top of my forehead & gently glide across the top of my head.
“WOAH” I let out a moan. It slides across my head a second time.
“OOOOOOOO” OK, maybe it actually is better than sex. The razor passes over my head a third time. “PLEASE. MAKE. THIS. LAST. AS. LONG. AS. POSSIBLE.” I can barely get the words out. Not only am I completely going to town on myself, I’m sweating like I’ve been trapped in a sauna for days. I’m sure I look a mess, frankly I don’t care. I must be quite a sight. “SORRY, CAN’T HELP MYSELF.” I apologize, but not really. I’m not sorry & have no guilt.
“NO, GO RIGHT AHEAD. DON’T HOLD BACK. I’M JUST GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING YOURSELF” Not that his words would change anything. At this point I can’t stop myself even if I had a desire to.
“OH, MOST DEFINITELY. I CAN’T BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED OUT ON THIS.” I loss all control of my body. I’m moaning like crazy. If someone were to tell me life or death I needed to stop, I would die happy. He continues to swipe across my head. I’m barely aware of anything else going on & totally lost in my own world. I feel the towel on my head. He’s rubbing it over my head. It’s a very odd sensation. It also, unfortunately, snaps me back to reality. “DOES THAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?” I whine.
“WELL, IT DOES, BUT IT’S ALL IN HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. YES, I’M DONE WITH THE SHAVE. IF THAT’S WHY YOU’RE SAD, HOWEVER, THAT ALSO MEANS YOU’VE GOT NO HAIR LEFT ON YOUR HEAD, WHICH SHOULD, HOPEFULLY, MAKE YOU HAPPY. PLUS, IF YOU’D LIKE, I CAN MAKE ONE MORE PASS, JUST TO MAKE SURE NOTHING GOT MISSED.” I perk up.
“YES, PLEASE!” I light up. “UH, YOU ARE SOOO AMAZING, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS FOR ME.” I let out a squeal & get excited again.
“IT’S BEEN MY PLEASURE. TRULY.” He starts reapplying the cream to my head. “I’M JUST HAPPY YOU’RE HAPPY.”
“THRILLED! ECSTATIC! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE!” Truly, the best day of my life. He stops applying the cream. It doesn’t feel like my whole head is covered so I’m not sure why he stopped.
“I HAVE AN IDEA” What could he possibly have in mind now? “LET’S GO INTO THE BATHROOM.” He grabs my hand & pulls me out of the chair & leads me away.
“WAIT, WHAT’S GOING ON? ISN’T MY HEAD FULL OF CREAM? I WANNA SEE IT BARE!” I have no idea what’s happening.
“I KNOW” We stop right outside the bathroom door. “DO YOU WANT TO KEEP THIS UP? OR IS THIS JUST A ONE OFF? I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON’T KNOW OR HAVEN’T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT, BUT RIGHT NOW, SO FAR WHAT ARE YOU FEELING, ANY IDEA?” I stare at him blankly. It’s a lot to process, & I’m living in the now.
“WHY ARE YOU ASKING? I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT YET.”
“TRUE, BUT IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU’RE NOT GOING TO ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT?”
Less than Zero. “I SUPPOSE NOT”
“WAS THERE ANY PART OF THIS ENTIRE PROCESS YOU DIDN’T ENJOY? BESIDES YOUR MINOR LITTLE ‘PANIC ATTACKS?”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “I SUPPOSE THAT’S ONE WAY TO PUT IT, BUT NO, COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER.” I feel dejected. “WHICH SUCKS, NOW, BECAUSE I GUESS IT’S OVER.”
“IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE, BUT IT WILL BE UP TO YOU.”
I look up, puzzled, not really following where he’s going. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”
“WELL. HAIR GROWS. IN FACT, IT NEVER STOPS GROWING. THERE MAY BE NO HAIR ON YOUR HEAD, BUT IT WON’T STAY THAT WAY, NOT FOR LONG. UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO.”
I look up, thinking about what he is saying. After a moment my smile grows & my eyes widen. “I HAVE TO KEEP SHAVING IT!”
He verifies. “ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.”
I start to get excited. “HOW OFTEN?”
“WELL, THAT DEPENDS, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO? HOW LONG WILL YOU LET YOUR HAIR GET? STUBBLE WILL START TO APPEAR WITHIN A DAY OR TWO, BUT YOUR HAIR IS FINE & LIGHT, SO IT PROBABLY WON’T REALLY SHOW MUCH, FOR AT LEAST A FEW DAYS, MAYBE EVEN A WEEK.”
“BUT I’LL KNOW” I interject forcefully.
He confirms. “TRUE. OF COURSE, IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT, YOU STILL LOOKED REALLY CUTE WITH THE LITTLE BUZZ YOU HAD. THAT’S PROBABLY A FEW WEEKS, THEN YOU COULD USE THE CLIPPERS AGAIN.” There’s a lot to process. I know I have no intention of growing my hair out any time soon. I still haven’t seen myself, so it’s impossible to know.
“I CAN’T REALLY KNOW HOW I’LL FEEL DAY TO DAY. RIGHT NOW, MY GUT IS SAYING, I MAY NEVER WANT ANY HAIR EVER AGAIN, BUT THAT’S A LONG TIME & I ALSO HAVEN’T REALLY SEEN IT & AS MUCH AS I KNOW I’LL LOVE IT, I CAN’T SAY. HOWEVER, I ALSO KNOW HOW AMAZING & SENSUAL THE FEELING WAS HAVING MY HEAD SHAVED. EVEN NOW, STANDING HERE WITH THIS STUFF ON MY HEAD, IT’S ALL I CAN DO TO CONTROL MYSELF. I DON’T WANT TO LOSE THAT.”
He smiles. “THERE WILL BE SOME UPKEEP, BUT I THINK YOU’RE TELLING ME IT WILL BE WORTH IT.”
“I GUESS” he’s losing me again. “IS THIS GOING SOMEWHERE?”
He lifts up his hand with the razor in it. “REMEMBER WHEN WE STARTED & I MADE YOU CUT THE 1st STRAND?”
I figure out what he’s getting at. “YOU WANT ME TO RAZOR MY HEAD.”
“WELL, IF YOU PLAN TO MAINTAIN THIS LOOK, YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT YOURSELF. I’M HERE TO HELP COACH YOU & GUIDE YOU. EVENTUALLY, THOUGH, YOU’LL BE ON YOUR OWN.”
It clicks as I realize “AND AS I GO, I GET TO ‘REVEAL’ MY HEAD TO MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME!” I leap into him & give a giant hug.
“I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN”
I kiss him. “THAT’S AMAZING! YOU’RE AMAZING! HOW DO YOU KEEP MAKING THIS BETTER & BETTER? I LOVE THIS! I LOVE YOU!” He tells me to close my eyes. He opens the bathroom door & we step in.
He guides me into the bathroom & I assume positions me in front of the mirror. He then places his hands over my eyes.
“I ALREADY HAVE MY EYES CLOSED SILLY.” I mock. Just as I say this the cream starts to drip down my head.
“I KNOW, I’M ACTUALLY PROTECTING YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES.” So, I open my eyes, but still can’t see anything. Then he lifts his hands, taking away the excess cream with him. I stare at the mirror. I don’t blink for what seems like minutes. I don’t recognize the person looking back at me. She kind of looks like me, but different. Better? I turn my head back & forth, up & down. I try to catch all the angles. Well, it seems there’s only one thing left to do. I reach my hand out.
“RAZOR” He places it in my hand.
“I GOT THIS” I interrupt him. I move closer to the mirror & lean in. I stare dead faced in front of me & bring the razor up to my head. I breathe in & swipe back.
SLINK. SLINK. SLINK.
I make quick work of removing the cream from my head, leaving nothing but a bare path in its wake.
“WOW, I THOUGHT YOU’D WANT TO DRAG THIS OUT.”
“I DO, BUT I WANT TO SEE HOW THIS LOOKS.” I was determined.
Yes, I want to enjoy this, but I did that once already… & I’ll be doing it again. No matter how this turns out I already know this won’t be the last time a razor passes over my head. I’m 100% confident it won’t be the last time I pass a razor over my head.
Also, I need to focus, if I’m going to do this right. There’s nothing left on the top of my head. Literally nothing. I think I had more hair than this when I was born. I turn my head, trying to figure out the way to tackle the next part.
“DO YOU NEED HELP? I KNOW THE BACK CAN GET TRICKY.” I probably do, but I’m determined to do this on my own.
“I’VE GOT TO FIGURE IT OUT.” It’s true, if I’m going to keep this up, I won’t always have help. Besides I figured out I have control over my body when I do it but when it’s someone else I loss myself.
“DO YOU LIKE IT?” Like is maybe not the right word.
I’m still assessing.
I’m making quick work. It’s surprisingly easier than I thought & I don’t anticipate any issues in the future. I think I’m done. I put the razor down & look dead straight into the mirror. I don’t recognize the person I see in front of me, but I like her. I like her a lot. I reach my hand up & touch my head for the first time. I slowly slide my hand back. I bring the other hand up & watch as the person in front of me does the same. It’s really hard to describe what’s happening in my head right now.
After a few minutes of pure bliss, I drop my hands.
“WELL?” he asked. “WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU LIKE IT?” I turn around & face him. I look him straight in the eye, completely deadpan.
“NO, NO, I DON’T LIKE IT. I REALLY DON’T LIKE IT AT ALL.” I watch him. I can see his heart break & notice how upset & dejected he seems. I can’t hold it though. I break & crack the largest smile I can muster & start cracking up. “LIKE IT? I FREAKIN LOVE IT!” I shout in pure delight. “THIS IS LIKE THE. BEST. MOST. AMAZING. THING. EVER!” I let loose & start bouncing up & down, showing off my joy. “THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTIONS, YES, DEFINITELY, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, & TOTALLY NEVER GROWING MY HAIR AGAIN.” I was hella nervous going into today, but also totally ready for a new look. I knew it was going to be very short & I was prepared for that. Honestly, I figured it to just be a regular haircut, albeit a huge one, & I’d enjoy it for a bit & then probably grow it out again. Maybe (probably) not as long as it was but thought it might be fun trying different looks & styles on the grow out. That’s all gone now. Even a short pixie cut will feel too long. Even the buzz cut I had not that long ago, seems like more hair then I want. Although, I imagine I will let it get to that length on occasion, but only for the thrill of having it all shaved off again. I haven’t been able to stop smiling or rubbing my head. “SORRY, I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, THIS IS AMAZING.” It definitely takes getting used to, but I also know it’s totally worth it, & absolutely the new me.
He smiles back at me. “WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR? I’M JUST GLAD YOU LIKE IT –“
“LOVE IT.” I correct him.
“RIGHT, LOVE IT, SORRY, I’M GLAD YOU LOVE IT.”
I grab his hand. “FEEL” I place it on my head, while I continue to smile & giggle uncontrollably. “SO, WHAT’S NEXT? I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHOW ME OFF.” I wrap my body completely around his. I am in heaven. My only regret — that I didn’t do this sooner.