Hi, I’m Sarah, I’m 26 years old and own a hair salon, and I’ve got a funny story to tell. Well, I have many stories, be they good, bad, ugly, gross, adorable, and hilarious, but this particular fun tale is where we’ll start.
It’s fun being a salon owner. I enjoy this profession very much, and the clientele I work with tend to be the best part of this job. That’s not to say you don’t get bad customers though, and that’s where this story starts.
So, this is last June. We’re in middle of a pandemic, right? Salon just opened back up, new mask and social distancing rules mean that in this small place, it pretty much has to be just me here running things. That has its ups and downs, but this day I had a particular client, Paula, who had her first appointment with me set for 5:30 pm. Never met this woman before but hey, all gotta start somewhere
So it’s about 5:25 on this particular day when a woman in her early to mid 40s comes in, her hair an overgrown bob that had definitely missed a few scheduled trims, which makes sense given the 3 month lockdown.
She was dressed in full business attire, blazer, tight white collared shirt, beige skirt to match the blazer, short heels, everything, but no mask. I asked if she had one and she gave me the line of having a medical condition, to which I just shrugged off and continued with booking her. She did not come off like she was in the greatest of moods. As such, it was my goal to get this cut over as quickly as possible while keeping her happy
So, I took her over to the chair and put a cape on her, fastening it on her neck, before asking her what she wanted me to do with her hair. She showed me a picture of a high angle bob which was a bit different than what she had already, but very easily doable and best of all, no wash or color, so I could get this done quick and easy.
The cut itself was pretty normal, I got rid of the excess length that had came around over the past few months and shaped the cut, but the entire time she was just complaining about every little thing imaginable, be it traffic, her co-workers, her husband and kids, her lunch, she was just a negative person. She never smiled even once.
Toward the end of the cut, she made a comment about how she was seeing another man. Seriously. She plainly admitted straight to my face she was cheating on her husband without even blinking. I didn’t even bother asking, but I took a quick glance over at the clock to realize that I had almost an hour before my next appointment came in. So I came up with a quick plan…
As I had everything else finished, I grabbed my razor to clip Paula’s neck line and any loose hairs at the back. I only had a few seconds to do this if I was going to.
So I turned the razor on, tilted her head down, and when I got right to the middle of the back of her head I faked a sneeze and shaved into her hair. As I did that, Paula gasped and raised her head upward, pushing so much more hair down into the razor, a large chunk falling helplessly over the cape and onto the floor
That. Worked. So. Perfectly! Couldn’t have been better!
Paula quickly stood up, taking the cape off of herself, aghast at the situation, speechless with her mouth open. One hand covering her mouth and the other feeling her freshly shaved strip on the back of her head. I was smiling big through my mask and she didn’t even notice
I tried to apologize as tears began forming in her eyes. “You’re going to fix this. No charge!” Paula said, both angrily and nervously, “I’m not going anywhere else like this!”
“Alright honey no problem, just take a seat and I’ll see what I can do, okay?” I said, trying as hard as I could not to laugh. There was hardly any fixing that. Even more fun for me!
Paula sat back in the chair in a huff, trying as hard as she could to hold back tears, arms crossed. She was speechless. I took out my comb and feigned like I was inspecting the damage.
“You’re definitely gonna be losing some hair, this is down to the skin and up really far. That was with a zero blade.” I told her.
“So what are you going to do?! You’ve gotta do something!” Paula yelled
“I’m gonna shave your head.” I said swiftly. “I can maybe salvage what’s on top here, give you a flat top, but the sides and back will need to be shaved if you want it to look even.” I fake apologized again despite the fact I had no sympathy for this woman as she closed her eyes and had a few tears stream down her face, taking her eyeliner with it.
I grabbed a new cape that was sanitary before asking if she was ready for what’s next
“Just do it. Flat top, whatever. Just get it over with.” Paula said, defeated.
I was definitely gonna take my sweet time with this one. I don’t do bullies, and I don’t do cheaters. This woman seemed to be both of those things, so I didn’t and still don’t feel bad for what I was about to do.
I threw the new cape on over her, fastening it a little tighter around her neck. I took out my razor and went to the right side of her head. I wasn’t making any mistakes this time, and she’s getting the flat top she said she wanted.
Without asking I just started shaving as her eyes closed tightly, running the clippers through her hair on the side next to her ear before moving to the back next to the spot where I originally shaved her. I drove the clippers directly up the back, taking off tons of hair, Paula still sitting silent with her eyes closed as I kept shaving her nape area and completely clearing the back of her head of any hair. I moved to the left side and quickly shaved that as well. By this point, she had an extreme version of a bowl cut with completely shaved sides.
“If you wanted to, we could stop right here.” I said, fully knowing she wouldn’t want to
She just shook her head, barely opening her eyes.
“Alright, I’m gonna put a #2 guard on here for the top, you won’t be totally bald.” I said. Despite the fact I would have loved to completely shave her head, a military drill instructor cut seemed to suit her better.
I placed the guard on the clippers and prepared to shave her as more tears began streaming down her face, which was beat red by this point.
“Just gotta get this over with, sweetie.” That felt so cathartic. I turned the clippers on and shaved right through the middle, brushing the clippings onto the cape. Paula let out a sob, trying as hard as she could to keep it quiet.
“Hold still please.” I said, placing my hand on the back of her head to hold it in place as I shaved off more of the hair she had left. One more run over the left side of her head tore through a bunch of hair, it falling onto the cape, some of the clippings sticking to the tears on Paula’s face. I gently moved my hand to the other side of her head, and with two quick motions with the clippers, all the remaining hair she had left on her head was buzzed.
“Alright hon, just have to do some trimming but this is mostly the final product.” Paula opened her eyes and almost instantly began crying even more. I fake apologized again, trying to sound sincere. I even grabbed a towel and wiped away some of her tears before placing the towel around her neck and clipping it in.
I once again turned the clippers on and ran them over the top of her head to make sure everything’s was even. Paula was still lightly crying, but it seemed she had accepted her fate and was past the first stage. I took off the guard and trimmed through the sides and back, taking my time with the clippers just because I could. I finished clearing up the back of her head before setting my clippers down on my desk. The flat top was completed, and she really did look like a military general.
“Alright, all finished.” I said, grabbing a blow dryer and blowing away excess hair from Paula’s neck area. “Obviously no charge for this.” I said, again holding back laughter as I removed the cape from her body.
“You’re damn right there’s no charge!” Paula said as she got up and walked toward the door. “I won’t be coming back here.” She said, still emotional
“No problem, I understand!” I replied back as she went to leave. I took great pleasure in seeing her newly shaved head walking away, heels quickly clacking, tail tucked between that tight skirt of hers, never to be seen again in my salon.
(Let me know how this one was. Not done writing about Brandy and Lisa, but I figured another series couldn’t hurt either way. We can definitely revisit Sarah at any point. Much love, y’all!)