The Smooth Goddess Incident

There I was, standing in front of my full length mirror admiring the woman I had become. At 40, I had married and divorced twice, and had raised 3 children to adulthood. I didn’t feel old, but I had the wisdom to know that I had aged. My hair was shoulder length and fiery red by design. Having dyed my hair countless times over the years, it was hard to remember what my natural color was anymore. As I stood there, gazing at myself in the mirror, I could see the fine hairs that occasionally sprung up on my face that either fell to the tweezers or were bleached into obscurity. As I aged, it seemed that I spent more and more time fighting this never-ending war for smooth skin.

As an accomplished lawyer, I spent much of my time in the courtroom as the center of attention, so I spent a great deal of time on my appearance. Having just won a major case for my Firm, I decided that today was a pampering type of day. So I got dressed and headed out the door.

The downtown area was always in a state of change. Shops came and went. With as prevalent as online shopping was, it did not make fiscal sense to open a storefront in this day and age, but there was something cathartic about wandering from shop to shop to find the perfect purchase or experience. As I left a high end shoe store with a pair of dangerously sexy heals, I noticed a new storefront directly in front of me called “Smooth Goddess.” The aesthetic was almost medical; everything looked so sterile and white from the street. Employees wearing lab coats waited on customers lounging in reclined seats. The store appeared to be a full service spa.

As if in a trance, I walked across the street and into Smooth Goddess. I was greeted by a cheerful and perky blonde girl named Tiffany, who couldn’t have been older than 18 years old.

“Hello and welcome to Smooth Goddess.” Tiffany said with a chipper grin. “My name is Tiffany. How may I assist you today?”

“I’m not sure.” I replied honestly. “What sort of services do you provide?”

“Smooth Goddess is a full service spa and mini resort aimed at improving the human condition through relaxation and augmentation of the body.” Tiffany replied with the same eager smile. “Many of our clients come to us with something they are unhappy with, and it is then our job to correct whatever that may be.”

“Well my teeth are a little crooked and I’ve noticed some facial hair recently.” I chuckled “But I’m too old for braces and I’m actively tending whatever hairs do appear. So there isn’t much you can do for me.”

“You’d be surprised.” Tiffany said. “What if I told you we could have that hair permanently removed?”

“I’d say you were lying.” I replied with a grin. “Anything that claims to be permanent, often is not.”

“You haven’t met Dr. Townsend.” Tiffany replied. “When he says something is permanent, he means it.”

“Okay then.” I said. “How much are we talking about?”

“It depends on the level of service.” Tiffany replied while handing me a pricing guide. “If you just want your face done, it’s $200. If you want full service, head to toe, it’s $1000.”

“Like “head to toe”, head to toe?” I asked with a chuckle as I motioned to my bottom half. “That may take some overtime work of your staff to accomplish.”

“By the time we’re done with you, you’ll be completely smooth head to toe.” Tiffany said returning my chuckle and handing me some documents. “If you’re interested in the full service package, we’ll need this reviewed and signed.”

I stood there and thought a moment as I flipped through the pages. Everything seemed benign enough. Simple waiver of liability and whatnot. The thought of the whole process seemed exciting and rejuvenating.

“What the hell.” I said, signing the bottom sheet and handing Tiffany my credit card. “Let’s do it.”

“Excellent.” Tiffany replied as she processed me into the computer system. “It’s nice to meet you Sabrina, and I hope you enjoy your experience here at Smooth Goddess.”

As if on queue, a large and very handsome man came out in a lab coat and walked me back to one of the awaiting treatment rooms.

“If you will go ahead and undress and take a seat, we will begin shortly.” The man said before closing the door.

I wouldn’t had minded if he stayed behind to watch, but I’m sure I was old enough to be his mother. I skillfully disrobed, folding my clothes and placing them on the counter before I slipped into the chair sitting in the middle of the room. There were a number of apparatus hanging from the top of the chair with unknown purposes. Sitting in the chair, I immediately began to relax. The seat was obviously heated and took all of the awkwardness away from sitting naked in a strange room. Before long, a very attractive woman with long dark hair entered into the room and sat down in front of me.

“Welcome Sabrina.” She said with a warm smile as she reviewed a clipboard in front of her. “My name is Holly and I’ll be working with you today. Are you aware of the full service package you signed up for?”

“For $1,000, I am very aware of the full service package.” I replied

“Absolutely ma’am.” Holly replied. “Although many guests find the process soothing, it may cause some discomfort. Would you like something to take the edge off?”

“With as much body hair as I have, I think I better say yes.” I said with a chuckle

“Certainly.” Holly replied as she got up from her stool and rummaged in the cabinet. She returned to her stool with a pill and a cup of blue liquid. 

I popped the pill into my mouth and used the blue liquid to swallow. The drink had a very refreshing berry flavor to it.

“Please drain the glass.” Holly instructed.

Although I thought it was a strange request, I did as I was asked. Holly took the empty glass from me and placed it onto the counter.

“We’ll need to pull your hair into pigtails.” Holly said as she began pulling my hair tightly through two hair bands. “It makes clean up much easier.”

I could feel the effects immediately after taking the medication, and I was having a difficult time paying attention to Holly as she continued to talk to me.

“Please open your mouth for me.” Holly commanded before she inspected my teeth. “Intake mentioned that you had some concerns about crooked teeth.

Although I was confused regarding why a spa was inspecting my teeth, I found it difficult to raise any objections. “Mmhmm”

“I see what you’re talking about.” Holly said as she continued to poke around inside my mouth. “You should be much happier after we’re finished. Soon you’ll have perfectly straight and pearly white teeth.”

Holly took what looked to be a mouth guard from her tray and held it to my mouth.

“Please open wide and bite down hard onto the compound.” Holly said pushing the mouth guard.

I did as she commanded and sank my teeth into the compound. I bit down as hard as I could until I couldn’t go any deeper. I noticed that once I finished biting, that my jaw appeared to be locked in place by the guard. Sensing my slight disturbance, Holly parted my lips to inspect the guard.

“No need to worry, it looks like the compound molded nicely to your teeth.” She said as she attempted to shift the guard in my mouth without success. “We should get a very nice impression after the extraction.”

As the medication kicked into full gear, I found myself completely relaxed and uncaring as Holly continued to talk with me about the hair removal process.

“You should start to feel a slight tingling sensation all over your body soon.” She said as she gently spread my legs open. “I see we’re already starting to see good hair fall in your pubic region.”

I looked down at the seat of the chair and saw a decent amount of pubic hair had fallen out. Holly took her gloved hand and began to tug lightly at the hair. Although I expected some pain as she grabbed at the hair, it didn’t put up any fight at all as it slid painlessly into her hands. In a few moments, my mound was rendered completely smooth.

“From the looks of your hairline, we should be ready for your scalp next.” Holly said as she touched my forehead. “A nice tight pigtail really helps to keep the hair from going everywhere.”

I could feel Holly grab onto my right pigtail and lightly tug on it. I felt slight pressure for a moment, and then nothing. Holly then reached over to the left pigtail and lightly tugged on it for a moment as well. Once again I felt a little pressure for just a moment. I wasn’t absolutely certain about what just happened until I looked at her tray and saw 2 large mounds of red hair sitting there in pigtails.

“Very clean.” Holly said. “I love it when the hair comes off nicely like that. Would you like to feel?”

Holly guided my hands to my head. Where I expected to still feel hair, all I felt was smooth skin. My eyes went wide as it dawned on me that I was now bald.

“It takes some getting use to, but once you do, you’ll wonder why you hadn’t done this years ago.” Holly said as I continued to explore my hairless head in shock. “The compound should have hardened by now, if you will allow me to check”

Holly parted my lips again to grab onto the mouth guard.

“You’re going to feel some pressure as you try and open your mouth.” Holly said holding onto the guard. “Just take it slow as you open. If you feel any pain at all, pause for a moment before continuing”

I did as she commanded and immediately felt the pressure she was talking about. Slowly my jaw was able to open as I pulled free of the compound. Suddenly the pressure was relieved and Holly was able to pull the guard from my mouth. 

“A perfect extraction.” Holly said with a smile as she inspected the guard. “Got all of them.”

I noticed that my mouth felt very different, as my tongue explored my mouth. I found it difficult to process, but I couldn’t feel any of my teeth. I opened my mouth and began to franticly feel for my teeth with my fingers without success.

“Your gums should feel quite sensitive following the extraction.” Holly said as she guided my hands away from my mouth. “But that is to be expected when you have your teeth removed. The sockets should close up nicely here in a few moments.”

I tried to speak, but was having a difficult time putting words to my thoughts. As I was trying to say something to Holly about what was happening to me, another girl in a lab coat entered into the room.

“We’ll get right to work crafting you a perfect set of dentures.” Holly said as she handed the mouth guard to her colleague. “Did you want to stick with the same color of hair that you came in with, or would you like to try something different.”

The more I tried to speak, the harder it became. The sounds that escaped my mouth sounded too garbled to be understood.

“You know.” Holly said with a smile. “I bet my hair would look gorgeous on you with your features.”

With that, Holly reached up to her hairline and slowly peeled her hair from her head, revealing a perfectly smooth scalp. The transformation was drastic, yet beautiful. The bald head made her look much more exotic. Holly walked behind me and placed the wig onto my head. I could feel a slight suction as the wig was adjusted to me head.

“Gorgeous.” She said as she took a step back. “You should definitely consider a similar hair piece. Would you like to see?”

I nodded as I ran my hands through Holly’s wig. It felt so soft. Holly held up a mirror for me to inspect the wig on me. My face looked so different. My cheeks were sunken somewhat due to my teeth being missing, and my lashes and brows had disappeared too. 

Before I really had an opportunity to review the new me, I felt Holly peel away the wig, exposing my now hairless head. Truthfully, I didn’t hate the change, but I was still having a difficult time comprehending everything happening to me.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your experience today.” Holly said as she reapplied her wig. “Your teeth should be ready in one week. We recommend sticking to soft foods that you can easily gum in the interim. Many of our clients have found comfort in sucking and teething on objects to help with the discomfort of the extractions. Your wig will also be mailed to you. You may notice your scalp is very sensitive to new sensations. Make sure you apply generous amounts of sunscreen or wear a headscarf until you receive your wig.”

Holly took the two mounds of red hair and dropped them into a large baggy, before walking to the door.

“You look beautiful.” Holly said. “We’ll call a ride to take you home. Please get dressed and be ready to go in a few moments. Thank you for being an excellent client.”

Holly shut the door behind her, and I was left alone with my thoughts. Although I still wasn’t sure about what had just happened to me, I did know that I would definitely not be going to work for a while. “They weren’t kidding about their full service package.” I thought to myself as I continued to explore my empty mouth and smooth head.

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