Xmas Gift Nightmare

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“Can you at least wrap the damn thing for me you fucking asshole” Sharon said as she tried to dust off the small chards of hair from her neck. The eat shit look on her face her showed her disgust, now running late for her party at the Smith’s in just over an hour. Sharon’s day of Xmas shopping ended when Dan her husband of 20 years walked her down to their home barbershop, walked her to the chair and in his words “cleaned her up nice and tidy and ready for her get together.”

“I can’t fucking believe you – you say you love me and all kinda shit, that you care about making me happy, and you do this shit, that’s fucking love?” Sharon looked at herself in the mirror, holding the mirror to see the damage. The shearing Dan just gave her was epic! A few months passed with no cuts, her hair had gotten in his words “fucking out of control” leading to a quick haircut in their basement barbershop. 20 years of marriage accompannied by 20 years of forced haircuts, shaved heads and the like.

Sharon gazed in the mirror only to see a smooth bald nape, whitewalls and Dan’s famous “Horseshoe and landing strip” – the cut Sharon absolutely hated. Dan had done her a solid for sure. He had really gotten the hang of it. Whitewalls, bald ass nape, and the flattop was nice and square for sure – true barbershop quality!

The girl’s annual Xmas party was in a few hours, Sharon would surely be the talk of the party, she always wowed folks with her short cuts.

As Sharon desperately tried to work her now scalped flattop, Dan wrapped her White Elephant gift, inserted the card and handed it to his bride on her way out the door.

“Thanks asshole, I’m fucking late as shit, fucking shorn, you really know how to show your love” she said grabbing the gift and heading for the door.

“Come here babe” Dan said as he approached her at the door.

“Get down on your knees, I want to take a quick picture” now inserting his massive 9 inch rock hard cock slowly in her mouth.

“Real still babe” as Dan placed a golf ball on the top of her head….

“Hold” -snapping a pic of the ball resting on the barely 1/8 inch freshly cut runway.

The Gift Mixup

The tennis ladies all half cocked now began their gift exchange, a tradition they had followed for years. Each selected a gift from the tree and read the card aloud. Several gifts were opened, the night raged on and the cocktails were flowing.

Thanks for choosing mine, I hope you open many bottles of wine, and find the bourbon balls helpful in keeping your drink nice and chilled, Bottom’s up! Jane opened the box to reveal a wine/bourbon gift set…

“And who is this from” The game now was for everyone to try to decide who brought each gift in for the party.

The consensus – had to be from Kelly, after all, who else is a raging alcoholic in the group…

Cheryl walked over, chose a gift and began to read the card.

“These are the new 76″s babe, now you can keep my hair nice and tidy. Love it when you fuck me from behind while you keep my nape smooth fucking bald” Cheryl read on.. So glad you love me rubbing mt hot cum all over your bald ass head, Merry Xmas babe and remember, when I turn the clippers on, drop the head!

You could hear a pin drop as she opened the gift to reveal a set of Oster 76 clippers, the box saying designed for the master Barber!

Dead silence in the room, as all the ladies looked around – Ann spoke up.

God damn Sharon, we didn’t know you were that kinky! all laughing and wondering what the fuck was goin on…

Sharon smiled and stepped away to the kitchen.

Her text to Dan..

“What the fuck you asshole, why did you wrap that shit and and write that fucked up stuff, you’re so fucking sick. So fucking embarrsing. God damn you dickhead.. She sent the text and walked back in, shamed for sure. What would all of them think? What would she say?

The drinking continued, the gifts were all opened – no one spoke a word.. Not a word until they all were leaving and hoochie mama Christy whispered as they were walking out.

“Damn girl, that sounds like some fun, hell I may want to get my head sheared like that if I can find a dude to run root up in my ass”

The return text from Dan read…

Damn babe, I was wondering when I finished wrapping who the massage gift box was for, guess I got things mixed up. By the way, the clippers were on sale, so I picked up another pair for us. I know how much you love me keeping you nice and clean. I booked you a Tee Time for later tonight, hell, I want to be able to use my new putter on that head, need to mow that green on down smooth babe. Hopefully this new clipper with the 5’00000 blade will do the trick, I know how much you love the whole barbershop experience!  Head down dear! See you soon! xxoo Clipper Dan

 

 

 

 

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