Your Impulse Purchase

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Three stops away. Waiting with a sort of nervous excitement, you have been barely able to concentrate on anything all morning. Instead, you’ve been watching TV and checking the tracking information for your package compulsively. Two stops away. It was an impulsive purchase, but something you had been wanting for a long time. You have wanted a proper haircut since you can remember. Something short, very short. One stop away. You rub the end of a strand of hair between your fingers, giving up all on distracting yourself. You don’t just want a haircut, you need to get rid of your hair. The doorbell rings. You jump, take a second to compose yourself, and answer the door. The courier has you sign for your box, and casually hands it over not knowing how big of a deal this parcel is to you.

Taking the box inside, you slit open the tape and remove the packing paper to reveal your purchase, a set of cordless clippers. You quickly remove them from their box, casually tossing aside the guards. You won’t be needing those. You briefly flick them on the check they have enough charge, and the clippers hum to life in your hand. You hold them, vibrating, for a moment and briefly consider driving them straight down the centre of your head, but soon change your mind. You turn them off and make your way to the bathroom.

You pull off your shirt and drop it on the floor, not wanting to get hair all over it. Looking in the mirror, you pull your hair back at your forehead, trying to imagine what you’ll look like without the long hair you’ve had all your life. What you’ll look like in just a few minutes. There’s a fluttering in your chest, a kind of nervous excitement. Click, hum. You turn on the clippers and hold them gingerly on your cheek, just below your sideburn. Slowly you move them up until they are just below the hairline. Just a tiny movement upwards, and the clippers nibble away a few hairs, which float to the ground. You turn off the clippers and rub a finger over the small patch of clipped hair. You can just barely tell there is a little stubble there. You could easily stop here and no one would know. But you don’t stop. You place the clippers back in front of your ear, turn them on, and in one swift motion drive them all the way up through your hair, up to your temple. A huge section of your hair drops to the ground. Looking at the clipped section in the mirror you can barely tell there is hair left, it has been shaved to stubble. Your heart is racing, and with adrenaline pumping, you make another pass with the clippers, clearing away the hair on the side of your head.

You’re soon left with a side shave, and you briefly consider putting the clippers away and leaving the cut there. But only briefly, as you almost automatically push the buzzing teeth up the back of your head, up to your crown, leaving more rough stubble where mere moments ago there was long soft hair. You continue in your trance-like state. Clippers run up your head, followed by your fingers brushing the scratchy fuzz left behind, checking you didn’t miss anything. You clear the hair from your head, beathing intensely the whole time, concentrating on shaving away years of growth. You’re left with just hair on top now. You don’t even hesitate though, as you drive the buzzing clippers back across the remaining hair, clipping it down to uniform stubble to match the rest of your head. In a sort of frenzy you clear away the last remaining long hair, and it falls to the floor to join the pile of discarded clippings. You switch off the clippers and lay them down. You stare at yourself in the mirror, rotating your head to get a view from every angle. A smile creeps onto your face as the reality of what you have just done sinks in, and you place your hands on your head, rubbing all over. The feeling is bliss, rough one direction but soft and fuzzy the other.

But you’re not yet done. You pull off the rest of your clothes, turn on the shower and hop in to wash away the hairs that have stuck to your body. You can feel the warm water hitting your scalp and running down your neck. You wash off the hairs and sweat, and spend a long time just rubbing your stubbly head before your gaze is caught by a can of shaving cream. You barely have time to think before you find yourself rubbing the lather onto your head and scraping away the stubble with a razor. You can hear the sound of the last remnants of your hair being shaved to the skin almost echo in your head. It’s not long before you are totally smooth, and you rinse away the dregs of shaving cream, leaving a pale bald scalp.

Getting out of the shower and drying off, you’re struck by the feel of the towel on your scalp, and you can’t help but touch it over and over. It feels so soft and smooth. You gather up the hair that just this morning was still attached to your head and dispose of it, all the while running a hand over your bare head. You can’t believe that you ever would have grown your hair that long, not when you could have felt like this. You head to your bed to enjoy the new sensations, but first a stop online, to purchase more razor blades. You’ll definitely be needing them.

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